Wiskey Dents and Table Tents

Ok, this is entry is gong to get a new tag as this is now going to be filed under “you heard it here first when they throw my arse in jail” as this one is an ambulance chasers wet dream. Today is Wednesday which means hat Carbukle has to get his Power ball lottery ticket as the jackpot is over 42 Mil and considering my 401K is in the shitterer , why not let’s get two for good measure. As I am backing out of the parking spot, I have to cut it very hard to the right as there is a car that is blocking everyone and while this is going on a car pulls up into the parking spot on my left and guess what happens. That’s right my 2002 GMC Yukon XL wants to get a little kissy kissy with an Acura something! Now I don’t really feel anything (why should I) but realize I may have touched bumpers and look around and here is a gentleman who I guess is close to my age getting out of the car looking at me. I put it into park and immediately look at his rear passenger side and don’t see any major damage so I am breathing a little easier. I get out and look at my car and sure enough Modine (that’s what I call the ole girl) has a touch of white paint on the shiny corner of the driver’s side bumper.
I walk up to his car and he immediately says that we need to exchange insurance information and I ask him is there any damage to his car and we both look, then we look closer, closer, and yes there is what I call a “No Blood – No Foul” mark on his rear quarter panel and he goes into a slight hissy fit about needing my information. I then think that I have struck Cameron Fry’s father (name that movie for extra bonus points) who wipes his car down with a diaper but then I look all over his car and it has whisky dents/shopping cart dings all over this thing so this isn’t the only scratch on the ole girl, she has been through some battles. I then ask the gentleman if he really wants to do insurance or lets see if this thing can be buffed out and I can pay for that service.
EDITOR’S NOTE – I work in an industry that I want stuff to break and to get damaged as I sell parts and service to maintain this equipment. I have seen major body damage done to a piece of equipment and give my painter/repair guys some spit, bubble gum, crazy glue, paint and bondo and it looks like nothing happened. This is so easy to repair, I think that I could do it with a high speed buffer and some rubbing compound.
Now this is where this gentleman now goes to the status of Junior Mint in that he tells me that this this is more than a buff it out and it will need to go to the shop and I finally say that’s fine, let’s exchange info and I will call the police to file a report. Now I get a little bit of back peddle as he doesn’t want to call the police and the truth of the matter, neither do I (I know STUPID on my part) so I say ok, give me your info and drivers licence and I will give you mine and we can copy the info we need. We do this and I pull out my digital camera and start taking pictures of his car and the ‘damage’ and I get a little bit of “why are you taking pictures” to which I reply that I am simply covering all of my bases. Needless to say I get a little bit more resistance and now Junior Mint is losing credit very fast. I ask him if he is planning on taking this to have it buffed out and he tells me that he has a cousin who has a car wash service and I inform him that I will need to have him take to to a national chain that accepts credit cards as I will need to document this on my work car expenses (a bull$hit excuse but what does he know) so he will let me know who he takes it to.
We finish up and I give him his stuff and I head home right around the corner and then I get that feeling that I should have called the cops so I call my insurance company claim office and make a report. Now the lady who I am talking to is a rather unhappy lady who must be sitting in some cubical in Providence Rhode Island and she is quite perturbed when I inform her that Junior Mint and I are going to try to work this out amongst ourselves. She then asks me “why are you filling out a report” and I tell her that I have a feeling that we have a neck injury and the car needs major rear end work done and then when I call you to file this report a week later I will get “why didn’t you call us the moment it happened” she then laughed and took my information.
I look back in hindsight and if this were an elderly driver, a young adult or a female I would have probably have said sure, let’s call the cops here, let’s exchange information and never mentioned let’s try to see if we can do this without insurance and make the insurance company be the bad guy. I suspect that this dude is going to create a stink, make a mountain out of a molehill and probably thinks that he is going to get his car simonized on my insurance. Not today Junior Mint, I may have been born at night but not last night.

I will let you know how Carbunkle Trumpet versus the “It’s so easy a Cave Man can do it!” Insurance company goes.

Oh and here are the pics of the car and the damage that I did and the last two are of Modine and the flesh wound.

Can you see anything? Look at the top seam near the wheel
Got close up and it took you be the judge

Rear bumper didn’t take but there is a small scratch
Modine’s love mark (that I can’t wipe off because if it goes to the adjuster he has to report something) it is the white part on the red (I think)

The other side where I did some damage to Momma’s BMW (that was on her birthday and it cost me over a G to get her car fixed 2 years ago)



  1. Just wondering how the communication with Junior Mint has gone.. Did he fall off the parking lot and disappear? Or maybe head off looking for another banker. Gailtor


  2. Oh he called and my insurance company is going to pay to have his bumper repaired. I told them that they are crazy because it could be buffed out but they didn’t listen. I am scared to think what my rate is going to be now.


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