Month: January 2009

If age is a number then why am I now taking ‘old man’ pills?

Last summer I finally decided to quit going to my pediatrician and go to an adult doctor mainly because I was older than the nurses and it was kind of embarrassing having to drop trow when they had to give me a shot so I set up an appointment with my cousin who is in Family practice. For some reason I think she still had some resentment towards me as growing up I used to ride my bike down the street and torture her and her older sister so she finally was able to get me back. After giving roughly a gallon of blood for lab work, a stool sample, liver ultrasound and a couple of urine samples it was determined I had elevated blood pressure, high cholesterol and thankfully my liver has a couple more kegs of beer left in her before “we needed to have a chat.” She referred me to another quack who also took a gallon of blood and told me that I needed to start exercising, drop the pasta’s and quit opening up a bottle of wine. I told him that if I had to do all of that what was the point of living? He wasn’t amused….
So here I am 2 months shy of my 39th (really) birthday and my medicine cabinet is full of all kinds of pills, Lipitor, some HDL med, high blood pressure, all kinds of vitamins and NOT ONE GD HAPPY PILL! I told him this past week when he prescribed me another blood pressure pill that before I started going to him and my cousin I took Advil for hangovers, and I had textbook Blood pressure and was happy as a lark, he looked at me and asked me if I weighed this much ever before and I said no but hey I quit dipping! Needless to say another trip the the Rite Aid and we are now up to 8 bottles on the vanity – Damnit!
I saw my cousin when I was finishing up and she asked me how I was doing and I told her horrible, here her grandfather owned a Liquor/Wine distributorship and my great grandfather started a pasta company and thanks to them I am a hot mess. Thanks Pa-Pa!

So if you are asking yourself “I wonder if Carbunkle is going to eat better starting with the SuperBowl?” YEA Right as soon as I put down that beer! But as me and Momma quit smoking and dipping the Tuesday after the Superbowl 2 years ago I am going to do better, but until then I am going to leave you as I need to go pick up a Colletta’s around the world pizza after I finish this Cigar!


Finally one that will be a real US Citizen baby shower

The good thing about living in our neighborhood is that we are very social and we will find any reason to have a party. Back in the fall we were at a wedding shower in the hood and one of our friends who got married last year had this horrible (non-Canadian) outfit on and you could tell there was something not right about Pucci-Sosa. Sure enough we found out that the rabbit had died and the MexiCan couple were going to have a baby, of course we were excited but Ms Trumpet, our neighbor and I all looked at each other and said in unison “Baby Shower/party!” So we set the date for the week before the Superbowl as baby Sosa is due in Mid February. The food was Eye-Talian as we had Lasagna, Eye-Talian Spinach, garlic bread and salad and had a good turn out. The party was so much fun that even the neighbor down the street parents wanted to join in as well. Good Luck Baby Sosa, you are going to need it because we will now be celebrating your first words, steps, poop and when you get old enough your entrance into the convent!

The Neighbor and Momma to be Sosa

Ice molds what do you use those for at a baby shower?

Of course, you have to shoot Tequila from them!

Aww a shot for the baby!

Brittney taking one for the team!

More! Oh dear this is going to get ugly!

AJ and his mound o Lasagna

Shawna, Liz and the Venezuelan beer holder!

Somebody went to watch the Tigers game before the shower!

Josh, you are so lucky and Adriana didn’t show till tonight!

Sherry excited that in 30 days she will be out of Alcohol Jail and Ernie will be going Grey very soon!

No comment

Sure she is smiling now but when here parents show up from Canada she will be walking around with a gun to her head. Sherri you can come hide at 595 if ya need to!
Mandy and Sherri
And in the end, no animals were harmed during the party but I suspect there are some headaches and some people are tasting the after effects of Tequila!

Plane Crash into the Hudson

I called a friend of mine who is an Air Traffic Controller (if you ever seen the movie Pushing Tin, multiply that by 10) and his first comment was “It wasn’t me who worked the US Air flight out of LGA.” I was telling him about an apartment fire on Cooper and Linden as it is on a flight line into MEM and we then were talking about the LGA flight to which he told me some info that the media wasn’t reporting. Apparently there was a huge fight on all of the ferries who went to help the US Air passengers because they were charging the wet US Air passengers 15 dollars for the ride to New Jersey and to NY!

At least I will have someone keeping me company on the train ride to hell!!


The Grass is always Greener

This past Friday I was emailing some friends of ours in Belize who live 6 months there and the other 6 in Minnesota and we were exchanging BBQ recipes and Ruthie said that she can not get Jalapeno Peppers down in Belize as they ask frequently at the markets but have no luck. Now everyone has heard the old slogan “Grass is always greener on the other yard” and when we vacation down in San Pedro you accept that you have to change your preferences and either adapt or starve as what was available here in the US isn’t that easy on an island. I always tell our friends who travel with us to SP that are Belize virgins that they need to understand that there are no Golden Arches and the main choices for meat are chicken, pork and fish as beef is a little pricey. One of our friends who went with us actually had never eaten fish before as she is from Iowa and totally had a blast till midweek when she was jonesing for a burger so we sent her to Celi’s Restaurant for their hangover burger and she was good to go after that. So do I feel sorry for those who are on the island and don’t have access to some things that are readily available here in Memphis? -Hell no, they are living in a place that has a great climate all year long, they are willing to make sacrifices and adapt, are a fun loving people and they love it!
Therefore Saturday morning it was a triple header as we had 2 football games and a Tiger Basketball game and since I had mentioned it the day before with ChunkyRuth I decided I would make my bacon wrapped poppers and try a new dish that my dad served for Christmas eve. So I may be able to make this recipe but would I be willing to trade it in if I could grill something with a view of the reef and while wearing no shoes? You bet your sweet arse! Ok onto the pictures.
Isn’t that a crappy view that Chunky and Ruth have down in Belize? Bacon + Jalapeno Peppers = Love
Bacon wrapped Artichokes marinating in Eye-talian dressing

De-seeded and de-veined peppers

Cream Cheese love (wait isn’t that the winning BBQ sauce Ruthie?)

Stuffed, wrapped and ready for the smoker!

Perfect weather for duck hunting, I so need San Pedro! Oh they are happy!

Finishing off in the oven (ran out of time before the game)

Same goes for the artichokes

Oh look at the Bacon wrapped love!

Popper (the person) pouring some wine and Didi

I guess Weather doesn’t like being in the Blog
Now if you want to check out the exploits of Chunky&Ruth down in Belize log onto as I am trying to get them up to Memphis for BBQ fest, I think that they would go into a pork coma! They are good people and I look forward to sharing the grill with Chunky soon!

When Doves Cry

(Disclaimer if you are squeamish then you may not want to read this one and if you are a fan of P.E.T.A. then I suggest you order the Veal at Spindini!)
So we have a little bit of a Dove/Pigeon problem in South Bluffs as it started last winter and it would appear that a huge flock of these “rats with wings” have decided to move into the 38103 zip code this year. We think that during the day these birds fly over to President’s island (industrial park) as there is a grain elevator and they feed then they come home in the afternoon and they perch in the trees and poop all over the damn place. They love to roost up in the two trees by our house and thanks to them pooping we now have speed bumps on the sidewalk!
With the addition of the Doves and Pigeons we now have a couple of Peregrine hawks that have come to the hood and hunt as well as a couple of outside cats that call South Bluffs home. Now don’t get me wrong, I love stilton cheese stuffed dove breast wrapped in bacon and grilled with polenta but if you have ever walked your dog and have one of these hawks kill a dove and the body flies from the sky and almost hits you it will startle the shit out of you! I mean you start to think that you are under attack as these things are falling from the sky! It is funny however to watch the birds scatter when they are being chased by the hawk as they will fly between the houses and you think you are watching a video game but now let’s fast forward to this past Tuesday morning. As I was preparing for work that morning I could hear the birds rustling outside and then a loud “Thunk” and didn’t think anything about it.
Here are a couple on our roof
Bird on a wire
More on the townhomes
One of the trees in front of Casa de Trumpet (pay no attention to the dead ferns hanging on the porch, I have asked Ms Trumpet to throw them away but she keeps forgetting!)
Ah the bird poop!
Now one of the last things that I do before I leave the house is open all the blinds and turn on the stereo for the dogs, as I am twisting the little ‘thingamagig’ that opens the blinds I then see quite a sight as I realize what that loud “THUNK” was as I was getting ready. Ok now for those of you who did not read the disclaimer, I warned you.

Bar 595 -1 Doves – 0!

Remember the outdoor cats I was talking about earlier? They took care of me having to dispose of the carcass as it was removed by the afternoon!I guess that is where Breakfast was served

Tune in tomorrow when I call a couple of my father’s duck hunters and tell them that South Bluffs has a couple of ‘baited fields’!


Happy Birthday King!

Ah if he hadn’t taken that fatal poop the King would still be here! Today marks the 74th birthday of Elvis A. Presley and I am sure that there are a ton of tourist who will be heading up to Graceland to sing Happy Birthday and have some cake. Priscilla was in town last night for the Tigers game and all I am going to say is that she has seen more knives than a Benihana restaurant! I hear she is going to have Larry King (another one if you ask me) in town to do another Larry King Live from Graceland. I sure am glad I live downtown!

On another note, my camera has gone MIA so no pictures and I have a beaut or a post that I need to take pictures for so you can get the whole experience. Hopefully it will turn up soon.

Till then, Thankyou, Thankyou verrrrrrrrrrry Much!


Belize Mainland trip from November

For someone who has been to Belize as many times I am sad to say that I have never spent any time on the mainland probably because of some San Pedroans perceptions of the mainland kind of like East Memphians perceptions of Downtown in that “Oh it is so dangerous!” This trip we did not have any virgins or guests so I had asked our good friend Marlon if he would not mind taking us on a day trip to the mainland as he always has said that he would love for us to see where he lived and the countryside.
We get into Belize City at 8AM and it is a Cruise Ship day so we hurry to get our rental car and Marlon gets us heading on the Western Highway to the Belize Zoo since it is better to get there before the Cruise Ship Tour buses. The Belize Zoo is unique in that the animals that are there are because their own habitat was destroyed or they are shunned at birth by their mothers and it is the Zoo’s hope that they can be re-introduced into their natural habitat.
After we check out the animals we head further on the Western highway to Marlon’s birthplace and his home District Cayo and let me tell you if you have never driven on a highway in Belize you are in for an adventure as the local brake repair shop must the business to have as every mile they would have a speed bump that could launch you to the top of Xuantunich in a matter of minutes. We arrive in San Ignacio and have a nice lunch at Erma’s and then head to Cahal Pech ruins and again I have been to Belize over 20 times and never even seen a lousy ruin and must admit that was a great experience.
For those of you who have seen the movie Apocalypto will know what I mean when you enter the arena and look at the alter, ball court or viewing area you get the feeling or reverence of what went on some many moons ago. As you walk up to the top you also understand that at my current height (5’7”) I would have been revered as the Shaq of Belize as those Mayans were some short people but then again at my current age, I also would be considered an ‘old veteran.’
We leave Cahal Pech and swing by to meet Marlon’s sons (from his first marriage) and I must say, you really understand how nice the Belizean people are as once we enter the house his son has inquired if we would like some food, drink or to please have a seat, sad to say the US kids would be to into their play station 3’s to be bothered by crazy foreign visitors. On our way out of town we stop at the birth place of Marlon and pick sweet limes from the tree to bring back to the island as they are not readily available on San Pedro.
Since we are ahead of schedule we swing by Old Belize for a cocktail and do a little sightseeing in Belize City and even swing by and see Rick who I knew from the old Crazy Canuck days. We get to experience a little Belize City 5PM rush hour traffic and make the final water taxi with 10 minutes to spare. All in all I must say that my trip was great and for those of you who have the chance spend a couple of days on the Mainland as you really can appreciate the country and its people.
Here is a link to my Pbase account for all of the pictures;

I can not believe that I got Ms Trumpet and Maria up and at the water taxi at this time!

Leaving San Pedro

High Temple at Cahal Pech

First of all I am not that damn fat but take a look at how small the doors are Marlon and his son
Casa De August

A big thank you to our good friend and family member Marlon August for letting us experience ‘his’ Belize, I for sure will be back!

This year I resolve to….

Get taller and better looking!
Looks like I may need to tweek my list a little bit. Happy New Year to all, I am up, feeling quite spry and waiting for the Rose bowl to come on as the Trumpets broke tradition and actually went out to celebrate New Years Eve! This year we attended a dinner party at Itta Bena Restaurant which is above BB Kings Blues Club on Historic Beale Street. Being that in one of my former life’s I managed a club on Beale Street I vowed never to ring in a new Year again on Beale as when one gets older the thought of standing in a crowd with a ton of drunk people really doesn’t tickle ones pickle. Dinner was very good and the company was even better as we laughed and had great dinner conversation. Afterwards we walked up to the Majestic to ring in the New Year with our friends who also own the restaurant so it was a double win for all of us.
Afterwards we caught a ride with one of the horse drawn carriages to the South Side and caught a beer at Ernestine’s before calling it a night so it was a good evening considering it was bone chilling cold.
Now onto the title of my post because one of the dinner conversation topics was what we were going to do in 2009 as one of our friends who we dearly love is going to learn to fly fish and settle her credit card debt that she rang up in 08 celebrating her 40th birthday but I am kind of at a loss for words. I find that I am not a big “I am going to do this” and finish it with the exception of quitting dipping and Ms Trumpet quitting smoking a couple of years back and I am glad to report that we are still tobacco free and still married! I think that if I were to put a list together it would be goals or benchmarks that I want to achieve because I don’t see my arse heading to the gym tomorrow or not supporting Anheuser Busch in keeping the Bud Light consumption levels at the current state, I mean come on who wants to live to 100?
Anyway I would say that my goals would be broken up in 3 categories professional, personal and private;
First on the list is Professional and for that I want to bag another elephant meaning close another large account in this shitty economy. This will take some time as everyone, self included, is scared to death of what is to come and what the market is going to do. I will let you know on this one.
Private would be that I want to always be a better husband to Ms Trumpet, a better son to my mother and father and a better big brother to my sister and her boy. Last year was a ‘interesting’ year for my sister and I think that this new year is going to be a good one for everyone so I need to be there for all of those people.
Personal, well that is an easy one, I want to head south to ‘crappy’ San Pedro 3 times this year but since my friend TQ has Continental thinking that 800.00 for a ticket to Belize is acceptable we may have to reconsider that. Also on the list and I doubt that I will do it this year but one year I will would include;
Run with the Bulls in Spain
Have a Mojito in Cuba before it becomes ok for US Citizens to travel there
Vacation to Belize and not sleep a night in San Pedro but rather in all of the districts.
See every major college rivalry game in one year aka Texas/OU, UCLA/USC, Georgia/Florida, Ohio State/Michigan and Army/Navy
Carnival in Brazil
Center Court at Wimbledon

So, it looks like I will have to either hit the lottery or hope that momma sells 20 houses each for 100 million dollars but I will keep you posted!

Good looking group if you ask me

The TrumpetsHere is to you, and here is to me and if we disagree…
The Jackson’s on the carriage ride to the South Side
Me and Momma all bundled up!
Happy New Year and here is to good things in 09!