We must have traveled on "Idiot" day!

Returned from yet another great vacation down to our second home and once again a great time was had by the missus and myself. When I try to explain why we continue to go back down to the same place it is hard to impress upon my listener that once we get on the island, we go from “1PM and I should be doing this…” to “what time are we meeting up for dinner with XX and XX, Ah whenever we get there!” and they just don’t get it that a watch is just decoration and there are no absolute have to do’s.
This year we tagged along with a bunch of fellow message boarders and Tsunami Skydivers as they made their 5th trip down to Ambergris Caye and had an absolute blast. We really did not have much planned as we had booked an excursion with some friends and the rest was just fly by the seat of our pants and we managed to have another great time. On the trip we did a day trip to Cauker and drank a couple of beers, ventured up north to see Marlon and our friends in tres coco’s, did Goff’s Caye (beautiful) and even managed to drink a couple of beers and rum drinks too.
I will get into my trip report later but I wanted to share with you our trip back to crime-free Memphis as traditionally everyone we encounter on the way back home from vacation is like we are, relaxed and have the n0 worry be happy mantra. That was until we decided to fly back on a Wednesday.
For those who have never been to Belize, the island that we go to is a 15 minute puddle jumper trip away and in the morning the Ambergris Caye airport is busy with passengers heading back to the mainland to catch the connecting flights to either Houston, Miami or Dallas. Once we checked our luggage in at the Continental counter we headed to Jet’s bar in the departure lounge. Now if you have never met Jet he stands 4 foot 5inch tall and is the hardest working person in the airport by not only making his world famous rum punch but also making a pretty decent hot dog as well. Today we bellied up to the bar to partake of Jett’s ice cold Belkins and some dogs before our trip and here is where we should have taken the hint and headed back to the island and have a re-do;
Enter Tom and Tina Tourist from Tulsa as they asked Jett for a Coke and normally people who want just a coke purchases it in the gift shop but hey I guess the guy wanted ice too. So when he gets his 12 oz cup with coke and ice he is complaining that he wanted the whole bottle and Jett informed him that he used cups and if he wanted a bottle to go buy one in the gift shop. Now this is where Tom could have said forget it but he didn’t and he paid the 1.50 bze (.75 cents US) for his drink and then just whined like a little girl. After he drank his drink he then whines to Jett saying that he needed a re-fill as he only had 3 oz of drink and that was highway robbery. Well Jett must have been feeling good so he poured him some more in there and then Tom Tourist tells Jett that he is making a fortune on tourists with his drinks and that is just wrong. Jett, I got to tell ya, I have known you a long time and I would have had your back if you wanted to rumble with them. They should stick to the Red Neck Riveria and leave Belize to us.
Ok, next on the idiot list were the people who sit in rows 9 – 33 on Continental flight 1605 to Houston on that day! Now when they make the announcement that they will begin boarding in a few minutes it does not mean that you should jump right up and all crowd the damn ticket counter! I am not a seasoned traveler but I think the order in which they board is First class and one pass members then those needing special assistance with kids then from the rear of the airplane. Today Ms Trumpet and I drew the short straw and we sat in the last row of the plane and had to fight everyone in line to get to the ticket counter. I am sorry but I promise that the plane is not going to leave you or don’t worry you can have that nasty pillow that the previous passenger drooled into just stay in your seat and relax we all will get on the plane at the same time.
Now we get on the plane and have a good flight to Houston and are not delayed one bit. We clear the document stage of Customs and after collecting our bags we encounter the third group that needs to stay home in that the high school kids flying on a spring break trip with chaperone’s. I look at Ms. Trumpet and motion that we need to be in front of these kids as low and behold, 2 of the junior mints lost either their declaration form, were trying to put stuff into their suitcases while in line or one could not find his passport. What I love is the chaperone’s who have 3 people up front and no one is in the back making sure there are no stragglers as they think that a 14 year old kid is going to do exactly what “someone else’s” parent is going to say. Sure Paula and Peter PTA and I bet that those little babies didn’t take advantage of the 18 year old drinking age in Mexico either! My advice is to tie a rope around each kids neck and make a chain gang so all of the little babies are in line and are following directions.
Now the finale of Idiot day and this takes the cake we will just call this future brain surgeon “Frenchy” as he wins the award this day. Now as we clear customs, re-check our bags ahead of Hormone High School and are making our way back into the TSA line to make our connection and just in front of me is this middle aged Frenchman with his brief case and small carry on. He is pulling out his laptop and watches me slip off my shoes and asks if he should do the same, I motion yes and he notices that we have the same type of watch which is now off and in my bin. I trying to be nice point and tell him that it will set off the alarm but he said in broken English that it is fine. Then Frenchy pulls the absolute bone head by pulling out a liter of some alcohol that he must have purchased in Duty free on board his flight as it is sealed in a plastic airline bag. I point to him and say that it is not allowed and he will not be able to enter, he (a little bit of arrogance) says that he got it in Duty free and it is fine. I then motion to Ms Trumpet to sit back and let’s watch Frenchie and the TSA duke it out….
After a good 4 minutes Frenchy relinquishes his booze and walks through the metal detector and remember that Rolex watch that he said was not going to ding? It did and it was there that the Trumpets jumped in front of the French Connection and passed him in the pits.
All in all it was a good trip but I am going to lobby a friend of mine who works for Continental that they should have a non-stop to Belize City from Memphis and you have to take an IQ test prior to boarding.
If you have an IQ in double digits then you are not allowed to enter the country

This is Jett and he is serving his famous Rum Punch, Best Rum Punch in all of Belize! (photo stolen from Michele Kinnon)
Here is me and Jett and you can see how tall he is (more on that later)

Thought we were going to have trouble with this kid as he sat right behind us but his parents rocked and fed him and he slept the entire trip. I do love the seat attached to the luggage.

Hurry honey we have to get on the plane right now and get a blanket!

It was a good trip and I guess I need to quit being so cynical or maybe I just need to drink more on departure day!




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