Ah let’s see we had in the park this month the following; Rain, kids wearing flip flops, a couple of people who had outfits that just didn’t belong in daylight, then we added pork fat, a couple mulletts, a lot of Jager and shots, oh some more rain and then how do you top it off? Ah yes the Sunset Symphony, the upper crust with their wine and cheese, their canape’s and finger food. Well we actually prefer a bucket of KFC and some good cold beer as we are more of the Tailgate kind of people. This year Three Dog Night was playing then the Symphony then the fireworks for the Memorial Day weekend. Now we “invited ourselves” over to my Symphony date from last year and sat on her roof deck while watching the planes practice and had a great dinner and hung out with them. I forget about those wonderful roof decks, I lived 2 years in the Shrine and I think I could count the number of times we were on it with one hand. Anyway the Symphony had rain (Imagine that) so we bagged the Symphony but hung in our neighbors garage and then caught the fireworks from our alley. Another weekend down and yet another rainy Memphis in May.
The only thing that is true in this title is the paper/poop part as (I know you won’t believe it) even I poop! Please allow me to vent a little as has everyone noticed that on Facebook and Twitter that people feel the need to put things that don’t really belong out there on the world wide web?
If you are a friend of mine of Facebook you will notice that I have tried to raise the bar if you will on my status updates and tweets as people need to lighten up a little and isn’t all this ‘supposed’ to be fun? I mean seriously, on Facebook they have an option to (Poke) someone, and I have been accused of being a poking fool but it beats dogging a co-worker or “going Postal.” I wonder if people don’t think that someone may find out what is on their mind before they hit post as I live by that you should post stuff that you don’t want your parents, priest, children or boss to know about but some people didn’t get that memo.
Oh and another thing, if you are one who loves to “Tweet” every hour on the hour, just know that I turned off your notification as you may need Tweet therapy!
So for the record I have worn the speedo, scared people on the elevator, yelled PlayFreebird at the Symphony, let’s see what else CBT is going to do before he heads to Belize!
You see, with Lizzie’s advancing age we got Maddy to keep her company and I must say that Lizzie is going to out-live all of us as sure she may be blind but she is healthy and everything still works internally. Maddy on the other hand maybe joining the “Choir Invisible” when momma gets home this evening because she was running late for a meeting this morning as last night Maddy decided that she didn’t care for the rawhide bone, one of the many stuffed ducks, or the other dozen chew toys that she has in her kennel but yet one of momma’s favorite flip flops was the choice.
We woke up this morning and in the middle of the bed was the remains of the shoe and there was Maddy with her little tail wagging and her expression was “Aren’t I cute?”
Nice knowing you Madeline……
Morning Mom, Morning Dad Happy Thursday!
Oh I got to scratch, I think I have a piece of rubber shred in my fur.
Thanks for the chew toy last night!
But the right shoe is fine! (if Momma had only one leg!)
Do the Recycle guys take chewed up flip flops?
This is what is going suck is that I can almost give you the CBT Guarantee that Momma won’t just purchase one pair of flip flops but 2 pairs……
First of all apologies to a few friends who came in town this past weekend and we did not get a chance to spend more time with them, hopefully our paths will cross again in the near future. Ahh the Super Bowl o Swine, the Palace of Pork, the Heavens of Hog (Ok, I will stop) or as we call it here in 38101 – BBQ fest! This year thanks to mother nature the park was in less than great shape as all of those flip flops, golf carts and stages left the park looking like a toxic form of Chocolate pudding. The rain did not let up at all and even with a delayed start it rained on Sunday’s load in day. By Wednesday thankfully the park had dried, the tents were up and the smokers were a smoking and friends and family night was on! My good friends and neighbors invited Ms Trumpet and I down that evening and we took advantage of it as we are not fans of large crowds, and being in a hot, music blaring, crowded tent is not my cup of tea. So for the remaining BBQ fest we stayed up in the hood and yet still are thankful to my boys at Porkosaurus for the invite and the food and hospitality.
That isn’t to say that there are a certain number of NYC firemen, Philly cops and a bald Englishman do not have this weekend circled on their calender and arrive in full force to drink our beer, eat our food and do un-speakables with our women. I must admit that the Bald Englishman spent his time unconscious at the Trumpet estate and was a perfect gentleman but for those who stayed over on Madewood, may God have mercy on your souls…
Now the weekend would not be complete without a “You can’t make this $hit up” story and sure enough I am here to tell the story as Joe Dirt and Skillet from parts unknown got a little too much jagered up and tried to drive home. Settle in as this is pretty good;
So we are on the front porch Friday night enjoying the weather and watching the various people in the hood walk about and notice that there is a late model white camaro with the bra and T-tops parked in front of the house. We didn’t think anything of it till poor Joe Dirt and Skillet stumble (and I mean stumble) up and try to get into said Camaro and drive home. After a conversation that had the following words “Look your skinny arse is not ready for pound me in the ass 201 Poplar” so why don’t you chill out on our porch and sober up? I mean I know that I can be a satirical prick at times but drinking in driving is not cool no mater who you are and I would not want that on my conscious. So thankfully Joe and Skillet respected my words and chilled out on the porch. Now I realize that there is an age difference between our new friends but these guys were just too easy to pick on so we had multiple conversations about Nascar, Deer hunting, the aforementioned Camaro, and the correct temperature to drink Jager. It was even funny when English Mike walked up and after a minute realized that we were taking the piss out of these boys and even joined in.
On that note, I am not longer an employee for Caterpillar but in the eyes of Joe Dirt and Skillet I am the worlds first Poet Laurette Novelist that owns a bar in his home. Oh and Joe felt that he bonded so much with me from Friday night that even parked in front of the house on Saturday night.
And so I give you the pictures;
First things first –
If a third grade student who attends a Catholic School is caught cheating on her Religion test (6 days before the end of school) and the test is covering the 10 Commandments does that mean she is going STRAIGHT TO HELL BEFORE I AM? Call me what you want but I never had to read the cliff notes version of the Bible.
And I apologize that I did not post the pics from the Musicfest of the bands we saw last weekend. Granted Steve Miller isn’t that pretty but I will work on that this weekend.
Well we are 3 weeks till the Memphis Italian festival and of course CBT(olio) is behind the 8 ball and needed to get some prep done in the worst way. For the festival we serve spaghetti and Gravy on Saturday night to the masses and this undertaking requires one to prepare, freeze and then warm on the day of the festival roughly 3 large pots of said gravy. To do this on site is just mean and cruel for anyone so I will prep (and who am I kidding and eat too) a couple of pots of Gravy and then freeze them for the festival.
I must admit that I made a gravy during the Musicfest weekend and upon tasting said gravy on Sunday I did something wrong as it was way too acidic. I determined that the Italian sausage was not good and I didn’t feel comfortable serving it to anyone so I trashed it. That’s right I poured a C-Note of Gravy down the damn drain!
This time, I decided to take my time and as normal prep and start the gravy on Saturday morning and do the slow cook till Sunday night. First of all you have to have fresh ingredients so off to Costco I go!
I better remind momma to be careful of opening any letter bombs from the message boarders and to keep the blinds shut as we may get a drive by from an angry animal hospital employee as soon as I hit publish because this post is probably going to anger some people. The past month has been kind of stressful at the Trumpet household and I am glad to report that no Momma is not pregnant but she did just sign up with a new and improved band so if you are looking for new digs please feel free to give her a shout. I am not tooting her horn but it is secretly my plan for her to support me in the lifestyle that I need to become accustomed to and here is to hoping that she makes a ton of money and that this blog goes from making fun of kids doing and wearing stupid things to the first “What happened on General Hospital or Guiding light” blog. Go Forth and Make me some money Momma!
Anyway since Momma has changed jobs up a little, we are unable to take our traditional fourth of July trip as the month of July is going to be busy for her so CBT looked into his crystal ball and calender and did some pondering. Now if you have read any of these previous entries you can guess where it is the Trumpets love going trip after trip after trip so I pulled out my Belize Bucket List and here is what said; experience Lobsterfest, Halloween, New Years Eve, Carnival, and the Costa Maya festival. Well since I could not wait for the fall or the winter, I started looking at Lobsterfest as our trip this year. We found some good dates that we could attend and the Crappy Hotel that we always stay at had rooms so now it was time to play the flight watching game.
Well today I hit paydirt as we found some great airfare and what the hell, I booked those beautiful suckers today at lunch! As I was doing the San Pedro Happy Dance, I shot an email to my brothers and sisters from another mother who are forced to live on the island and it just gets better and better….
First of all we will be there in time to chill with some good friends from Kansas, Philly, Houston, and other places as they will be finishing up their vacations as well as chill with our great San Pedro friends – Bonus
Second we will be on the island the same time as some other blog stalkers and of course the blog mayor of Belize and others. (I am trying the Hyperlink out for the first time if you can’t tell)
And lastly we will be there for the Block Party of Lobsterfest and we get to enjoy 2 Sundays on San Pedro this trip! – Someone Slap Me!
Go Chill at this “shitty bar”
Go find this guy and drink with him too!
After spending so much time in the bars, I may even kiss this man on the Cheek! Or at least ring his damned bell!
Lobsterfest booth (Stolen from the Blog Mayor)
If I am lucky I may get the “you better watch yourself” Maria finger!
Go eat Breakfast at this joint (stolen from Rump Shaker)
If there is time maybe do this, or possibly Home Depot and Bed Bath and Beyond
But in the end we will be smiling like Cheshire cats!
Ok, I need to tell Momma to go close the blinds – Life is good!
Lake Tom Lee on Sunday (it was a foot deep in some places)
Love the King but the shoes…..
Rule Number 2 – When Tim Simpson from News Channel 3 says that it is going to rain all day, go ahead and make plans to break out the rain jacket, poncho and wear it.
Sames goes for these two, the one in the green was shivering but they both looked good.
Jen overseeing that the swine flu is being contained.
It is good to be the king!
WTCBF is going on here!
Ya got to like the hair but probably not appropriate for a fortune 500 company.
Rule Number 6 – Tip your bartender or servers!
I am trying to wrap my mind around this but I can’t!
Rule Number 8 – Drinking should be done in Moderation.
We arrived in the park at 7 on Friday and heard that this dude was already passed out by 6. He never heard a single note!
Daddy, I must have eaten something that didn’t agree with me and I sure am tired too!
Rule number 9 – If you violate any of the above rules then lookout for me as I may take a picture of ya!
Tune in next week when we discuss smoked pork meat!
Ahh the Sunday prior to Memphis in May which could only mean the Beale Street Wine Race or as some call it the “run naked through the street party!” Now I must admit as we were walking down to the the entertainment district someone asked if I brought my camera and if I was going to talk about this event and he informed me that he may get a chubby reading this post. All I have to say is sorry RJ, even though I am on the express train to hell, I can’t publish pictures of some mother and fathers sweet little Innocent daughter who may or may not be covering all of her ‘lil bits’ (Even if she were the biggest slut on the bar at Alfreds!) I have friends who have daughters and let me give you this advice – If sweet little daddy’s girl tells you that she is competing in the wine race, LOCK HER THE HELL UP IN HER ROOM THAT DAY! You do not want to know what happens down there! TRUST THE CARBUNKLE!
Anyway the Wine race is restaurant event in which various bars will put a team together and compete in the Parade, Queen of the Vine, Grape stomp, and the big one – The wine Relay race! This year we had great weather and the drunk o meter was pegged by 1PM so a good time was had by all. The Wine relay race is a 4 man team and goes like this; 1 team member opens a bottle of wine, pours a glass and caries all that on a tray up a block to his relay man, 2nd team member opens another bottle of wine, pours a glass and off he goes with 2 bottles, glasses back a block. You are judged on speed and total volume so you may have a fast time but if you broke a bottle then you lose points for that. I must admit that I was on a winning wine race team back in the day and we all shared a 2K grand prize and of course had bragging rites for the year. This year’s winner was Flemmings, with the Gold Strike coming in second.
In the end a good time was had by all and it is a great way to kick off Memphis in May! on to the pictures;