If you have a daughter, sister or neice – READ THIS ENTRY!

Ahh the Sunday prior to Memphis in May which could only mean the Beale Street Wine Race or as some call it the “run naked through the street party!” Now I must admit as we were walking down to the the entertainment district someone asked if I brought my camera and if I was going to talk about this event and he informed me that he may get a chubby reading this post. All I have to say is sorry RJ, even though I am on the express train to hell, I can’t publish pictures of some mother and fathers sweet little Innocent daughter who may or may not be covering all of her ‘lil bits’ (Even if she were the biggest slut on the bar at Alfreds!) I have friends who have daughters and let me give you this advice – If sweet little daddy’s girl tells you that she is competing in the wine race, LOCK HER THE HELL UP IN HER ROOM THAT DAY! You do not want to know what happens down there! TRUST THE CARBUNKLE!
Anyway the Wine race is restaurant event in which various bars will put a team together and compete in the Parade, Queen of the Vine, Grape stomp, and the big one – The wine Relay race! This year we had great weather and the drunk o meter was pegged by 1PM so a good time was had by all. The Wine relay race is a 4 man team and goes like this; 1 team member opens a bottle of wine, pours a glass and caries all that on a tray up a block to his relay man, 2nd team member opens another bottle of wine, pours a glass and off he goes with 2 bottles, glasses back a block. You are judged on speed and total volume so you may have a fast time but if you broke a bottle then you lose points for that. I must admit that I was on a winning wine race team back in the day and we all shared a 2K grand prize and of course had bragging rites for the year. This year’s winner was Flemmings, with the Gold Strike coming in second.
In the end a good time was had by all and it is a great way to kick off Memphis in May! on to the pictures;

a beautiful day for drinking!
Red Rooster Bar in the Parade

Red Rooster’s queen (that ended up being named queen) She was cute, had fun, wasn’t nasty and did not get all naked. Her mom and dad would be proud.

Miss Polly’s team (love the rolling cooler)

Alfred’s carrying in their queen

More on her later….

BB Kings’ team

Ruth Chris’ Queen

Gold Strike

Is that who I think it is? Yo King!

“I want to thank my momma and daddy for my private skool edumacation, and yes I am dressed like a slut and just wait till they ask me my Queen of the Vine question. I am really going to show my arse!”

Jean Jean the Dancing Machine! She was body painted that morning and looked great!

Ok, we are in Alfreds now and let’s get out the whipped cream and let other girls lick it off of various body parts.

Me and the Silly Goose Queen of the Vine

More people on the bar with whipped cream

Aunt Terry and the Trumpets! (we only see him during festivals yet he lives downtown too!)

Now before you call me a perv, that is Ms Trumpet watching the show too, she and I had a good laugh about some of the girls dancing on the bar!

Check out Mom in the Blue dress on the right

DAMNIT I WANT A DRINK, Move you Skanky Arse out of my way!
Screw it, let’s go outside and check out the wine race that is about to start!

Us and Jean

The horses are nearing the starting gate.

He has good speed but…… Aw Shit!

Brother Pat checking out the race

Not bad, good form, looking good (he dropped everything right after I took the pic)

Man down, Man down! (Sorry Jan & Hon but you can’t lick the street, too much glass)

You have a Baby!!!! At the Wine Race!

Blue Monkey Team warming up!

Dude, you are going to have a bad burn tomorrow

Just like that girl’s feet!

That’s a good way to eliminate spillage.

Oh go ahead and have a seat, it isn’t timed or anything.

Brother Mike King!

The Guy on the left is my former brother from another mother Jay Turney of Chez Phillipe, they had a good heat but came up short this year. I love JT’s facial expressions!

Run JT, RUN!

Back to Alfreds and Mary decided to get Jiggy with it to some Funky Cold Medina!

Liz and Brother Sparks

Me and Anna

I have no idea what Ford is doing….

But it looked like fun, so I joined in!

And another wine race is in the books, now bring on Memphis in May!
Now one more time – Mother and Fathers if you sweet little inocent girl wants to compete in the wine race, make sure she is going to do the grape stomp but other than that she may end up on someone’s hard drive showing her……..



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