Month: June 2009

Ladies stop looking at Shoes and pay attention to CBT!

I have noticed that there seems to be more female blog writers than males for some reason so this one is for you females who write about shoes as men may not know who Milano Blahnik (I had to look it up) is but we do know a thing about grills and outdoor cooking. Being it close to Fathers day I am also taking one for the team and helping my fellow brothers and doing some splaining so they may not receive a tie again this year for fathers day and possibly a new grill.

There are two different types of cooking direct and indirect heat and this needs some splaining as there are a few grills that are not capable of “going both ways” as a smoker is more for just that smoking. Direct heat is just that direct like when grilling a steak or like when you boil water on the stove, you heat one side at a time. Indirect means the heat is not close to what you are wanting to cook and you are using your grill like an oven and this will take a little longer to cook but that is why they sell beer in a 6 pack. Smoking is indirect but you are adding something (normally wood but you can use garlic, fruit, poodle) to the charcoal to infuse a different flavor into what you are cooking. Pork is traditionally bland in taste but when you add pecan wood chips you get a different flavor to the meat. Water smoking is adding a fluid to a pan and as the fluid (Citrus Juice, beer, wine or booze) evaporates it will permeate the meat giving it a distinct flavor.
Personally I like the Big Green Egg as you can use both the direct and indirect method by adding a heat plate and you have the best of both worlds. There are those who swear by their Weber grills, and backyard smokers and that is fine, in my opinion a man can’t have too many grills.
In closing don’t let the jackass at Home Depot try to sell you a propane grill, sure I have one in addition to my Big Green egg, but a man needs to become one with the charcoal and if outside cooking were easy then everyone would be doing it!

Classic Weber Grill and you can use both cooking methods
(stolen from Ruthie )

Grilling down in Belize (check out that shitty view) this is actually an empty propane tank cut into 2 and is the normal down there. As you can see you can cook both direct and indirect here.
Also stolen from Ruthie

A Smaller version of the Belizean Grill
Stolen from Cindy

Cindy decorating the Beer Can Chicken that we served for the Sauce off back in November
Also stolen from Cindy

This is the Backwoods Smoker and are very popular but you can only use the indirect cooking method so you will need something else to grill a steak on

Now here is a Billie Jean King grill that my Black BBQ Brother from another Mother uses up in Minnesota. You see the small box on the right side? That is where Chunky puts the charcoal and the smoke and heat will venture to the left to cook the ribs. You can also put charcoal in the main chamber and grill.
On a side note, you can see that Chunky is a man of my own heart as how many grills do you see on the patio? That’s right ladies, the man with the most toys wins!
Again stolen from Ruthie
Now here we have some serious grills as these pics were taken at BBQ fest, again you can do both methods of cooking. Oh and I would venture to say that this grill is well over a grand but then again why can’t women purchase shoes that are less than 100.00?

Big Grill – Big (male sexual reproductive organ)
This would be a classic smoker and not suitable for direct cooking.

A Red Neck 101 grill but I bet it has years of seasoning inside of her

Did someone say red neck?

This is the remains of my felt gasket on the Big Green Egg.

Who says that 700 degrees is bad for felt adhesive?

What the felt should look like

Had to scrape off the old gasket first.
What I am pointing to is the Terra cotta portion inside of the grill, the outside is ceramic.

After 36 hours of curing, she will be smoking again soon!

Like this! I have a heat plate under the grilling rack so the ribs are not taking a direct heat but an indirect approach. I use rosemary and garlic bulbs (that have been soaked in water) for my smoke method.

Who says that we need cell phones, we can go back to the day of sending smoke signals!

So make your man happy this year for fathers day, go get him a grill!
TTK!

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Country marries a Portugese Man-o-war 09

So you have always heard the stories of Attila the Bridezilla, or the one that the bride is sitting in the middle of a room crying because “cousin Eddie” just bumped the cake table and the expensive arse desert is now upside down? Well let me tell you if anyone had the opportunity to do this it would be Country as her and the Man o War could not catch a friggin break all weekend.
Now a little bit of history on Country as I have known her my own life, she is my parents godchild (catholic thing) and the youngest of an older sister and brother. A while back Ms Trumpet and I took her up to NYC to visit Maria for a weekend during Christmas. We had a blast and did the whole NYC eat/drink weekend and one day the girls got the Imelda Marcos bug and waunder into Sacks for some sandal and cho chopping. Since I used to be a clothes whore back in the day, I went with my Bitches and chopped too! As I come up I see Country trying on a pair of shoes as she has her right foot in a 4 inch pump colored red and is heading to the check out counter for a pair of shoes that I can imagine cost well over 500.00 for the pair. (Women I do not understand your infatuation with 4 inch heels that can cost as much as a flight to Belize) Anyway we head back to the suite after Country now hits up the fake Kate Spade purse sellers and almost spends as much on the crappy knock off bags as she did her shoes. Anyway as we are chilling in the Suite and have taken off coats and winter wear Country comes out in her sock feet and (remember the right foot in the shoe that she was trying on?) her left foot sock has a hole in it that not just one little piggy is showing but 3 of them! Needless to say we bust her balls a bit as here is a girl who just threw down 5 beans and is wearing a pair of 50 cent tube socks that have holes in them!
Anyway after 911 she gets shitcanned from her work and applies to a company and she gets an interview. This company is nationwide and we kind of throw the thought into her head that Memphis is fun but she is single, good looking and why not re-locate on someones dime. Well she chooses NYC and thankfully has a great support group and sure enough Country moves to Manhattan! After a couple of years there she then re-locates to Boston and sure enough the cowboy hat now resides in Bean town. Well fast forward and sure enough she finds a great guy and as luck would have it is Portuguese and comes from a family as big as hers (Italian) and next thing we know we are circling the 2nd weekend of June as Country is getting married!
Now the Wedding venue and reception joint (Pink Palace) has been picked, the rehearsal dinner place (her parents house in the country) is checked off, now the only thing left is to get them Yankees in town and let’s party. Well it would appear that Mother Nature wanted an invitation and when the bitch didn’t get invited she was a little pissy……To the tune of 3 tornadoes through the middle of town on Friday (Rehearsal dinner) afternoon.

Had to pull over due to the fear of getting hit by a tree!

Do I see a cow?

Now thankfully the storm passes but we now don’t have any power but in true Italian fashion we pull the tables out on the porch, ice down the beer and the party must go on! Here is Country’s brother and his wife and youngest son.

The sun came out and the kids wanted to look at the Ponies!

“Andrew, I don’t care what Mr CBT says, you can not have a Red bull and get a mo-hawk!”
BTW the little girl in the lower right corner was a darling, her parents are going to be in trouble!

The Happy Couple taking their licks from the speeches! (they weren’t bad)

The Groom’s brother busting some balls on his brother!
Now the storm passes and Saturday is a beautiful day but recall that storm on Friday? Well Mother Nature took out roughly 135,000 MLGW customers including the Pink Palace. Well Country takes it in stride and the show must go on! We move the nuptials outside and let the good times roll!

Big Brother and Big Sister of Country

Country’s NYC (and our too) friends and us!

Us and the Bride (camera was jacked up)

Hey look CBT’s dad is cutting a rug!

Pearl has had a little wine and BY GOD she deserves some!

The Bride and my Mom

It was a tad hot and even warm air was welcome but we had a blast!

The Ring Bearer getting after it!
In the end a good time was had by all and Best wishes to Country and to her Portuguese Man o War!
TTK!

Country marries a Portugese Man-o-war 09

So you have always heard the stories of Attila the Bridezilla, or the one that the bride is sitting in the middle of a room crying because “cousin Eddie” just bumped the cake table and the expensive arse desert is now upside down? Well let me tell you if anyone had the opportunity to do this it would be Country as her and the Man o War could not catch a friggin break all weekend.
Now a little bit of history on Country as I have known her my own life, she is my parents godchild (catholic thing) and the youngest of an older sister and brother. A while back Ms Trumpet and I took her up to NYC to visit Maria for a weekend during Christmas. We had a blast and did the whole NYC eat/drink weekend and one day the girls got the Imelda Marcos bug and waunder into Sacks for some sandal and cho chopping. Since I used to be a clothes whore back in the day, I went with my Bitches and chopped too! As I come up I see Country trying on a pair of shoes as she has her right foot in a 4 inch pump colored red and is heading to the check out counter for a pair of shoes that I can imagine cost well over 500.00 for the pair. (Women I do not understand your infatuation with 4 inch heels that can cost as much as a flight to Belize) Anyway we head back to the suite after Country now hits up the fake Kate Spade purse sellers and almost spends as much on the crappy knock off bags as she did her shoes. Anyway as we are chilling in the Suite and have taken off coats and winter wear Country comes out in her sock feet and (remember the right foot in the shoe that she was trying on?) her left foot sock has a hole in it that not just one little piggy is showing but 3 of them! Needless to say we bust her balls a bit as here is a girl who just threw down 5 beans and is wearing a pair of 50 cent tube socks that have holes in them!
Anyway after 911 she gets shitcanned from her work and applies to a company and she gets an interview. This company is nationwide and we kind of throw the thought into her head that Memphis is fun but she is single, good looking and why not re-locate on someones dime. Well she chooses NYC and thankfully has a great support group and sure enough Country moves to Manhattan! After a couple of years there she then re-locates to Boston and sure enough the cowboy hat now resides in Bean town. Well fast forward and sure enough she finds a great guy and as luck would have it is Portuguese and comes from a family as big as hers (Italian) and next thing we know we are circling the 2nd weekend of June as Country is getting married!
Now the Wedding venue and reception joint (Pink Palace) has been picked, the rehearsal dinner place (her parents house in the country) is checked off, now the only thing left is to get them Yankees in town and let’s party. Well it would appear that Mother Nature wanted an invitation and when the bitch didn’t get invited she was a little pissy……To the tune of 3 tornadoes through the middle of town on Friday (Rehearsal dinner) afternoon.

Had to pull over due to the fear of getting hit by a tree!

Do I see a cow?

Now thankfully the storm passes but we now don’t have any power but in true Italian fashion we pull the tables out on the porch, ice down the beer and the party must go on! Here is Country’s brother and his wife and youngest son.

The sun came out and the kids wanted to look at the Ponies!

“Andrew, I don’t care what Mr CBT says, you can not have a Red bull and get a mo-hawk!”
BTW the little girl in the lower right corner was a darling, her parents are going to be in trouble!

The Happy Couple taking their licks from the speeches! (they weren’t bad)

The Groom’s brother busting some balls on his brother!
Now the storm passes and Saturday is a beautiful day but recall that storm on Friday? Well Mother Nature took out roughly 135,000 MLGW customers including the Pink Palace. Well Country takes it in stride and the show must go on! We move the nuptials outside and let the good times roll!

Big Brother and Big Sister of Country

Country’s NYC (and our too) friends and us!

Us and the Bride (camera was jacked up)

Hey look CBT’s dad is cutting a rug!

Pearl has had a little wine and BY GOD she deserves some!

The Bride and my Mom

It was a tad hot and even warm air was welcome but we had a blast!

The Ring Bearer getting after it!
In the end a good time was had by all and Best wishes to Country and to her Portuguese Man o War!
TTK!

Train at the Garden!

Well the summer is upon us again so off we head into East Memphis for the Botanical Gardens “Live at the gardens”. The line up this year is pretty good (or so I think so) and the same players are back at our table so it will be a good summer in breederville! Train was the first concert and I must admit, until I heard thier songs and said “Oh I know this one!” I couldnt’ have told you anything about them. The food was good, the beer cold, the weather perfect and when it got boring we had some kissy kissy going on at a table to keep us occupied. Next up is the Doobie Brothers so we will see you then.

Great night for some music, food and fun!
Dude why must you think that you need to pull this outfit out of the closet!

I bet he has his white bucks on too!

Some lady splaining and thanking us for coming!

Sister Hazel opened for them

Lead Singer for Train

I think I love you!

They were so into each other they let me jump in for a pic!

Kalb had to get in on the action too!

This one is for you PJ!

“Hey I know that song!”

Next day we went over to Didi’s

Damn you Robo you better not take a picture of me on my birthday (note the birthday bottles of Jack!)
TTK!

Damnit I broke down and did it today!

I got my nipple pierced!

Sorry to disappoint those that have visions of a short fat blond haired kid with a Janet Jackson bobble hanging off my moob but that isn’t it, this is much more painful. If you have not figured out but I am a creature of habit by nature and very loyal to various people, places, businesses, and brands. Case in point, I purchase our booze for the bar at the same liquor store downtown and have no qualms of changing – why you ask, because they are a downtown store and I try to support downtown and the owners are good people. Same goes for my eating and drinking establishments, I am very loyal to my peeps as I want everyone to thrive in this crappy economy.
Same goes for down in Belize, I only stay at the same joint (for fear that the owner would kill me if she found out I went elsewhere) and yet I am good friends with owners of a B&B that we are actually going to vacation later this year with. Grocery shopping on the island is considered a chore as you have to go to various stores for items, I find everything I need at Rocks on middle street and if he doesn’t have, I guess I don’t need it. To me the relationships that I have here in the states and abroad are important as sure I bet I could get a cheaper room or bottle of vodka but what does that translate into? Another great example is my cigar man/owner that I get my Perdomos from, here is a man who sits in his store on Union and smokes cigars while on a nasal cannula and he is the nicest guy to visit with and always offers me a horse racing tip or a good joke. Sure I could get a box of cigars a little cheaper over the Internet but one time I had a couple of ‘shitty’ wrapped cigars and Mr. Vince took them and offered an exchange. Did he have to do it? No but he recognized that I am loyal to him.
Now here is the double edged sword that I have as I am in the business of selling and taking customers away from competition and I yet I break my own mantra. Granted when someone changes vendors it is because of a bad relationship or bad service but what about those who tell you “I am ok, I have a great relationship with my current vendor.” I traditionally tell them that I appreciate that and may I continue to keep you on my prayer list and check in with you periodically and normally they say yes. This of course drives my boss crazy as he is a “drop all margins” and “whore yourself out if need be” to which I normally tell him that if someone will ‘jump into bed with me that quick’ they certainly ‘will kick me to the curb’ when someone goes lower.
Now onto my title and the explanation, about 6 years ago we were granted the national account bid of service provider for a retail chain that is worldwide. I worked my butt off for those who were in my region and yet they treated me (actually they treat all vendors) like shit. Still I sucked it up and smiled and gritted my teeth as I muttered under my breath “you mother of stinking #$@#$%” and actually won some of these stores over. Well about 10 months into the business relationship we realize that payment was being delayed yet we still delivered on time every time. National accounts inquired and where told that is the way that we do business and yet our national account reps reminded this customer that was not in the initial agreement.
Well to make a long story this chain told our National account guys to go “have relations with thyself” and have a nice day. It was on that day when I was informed of the change that I vowed never to darken this chain again and up until today I was a man of my word but I had no choice today.
I was in an area with an attachment vendor and he needed office supplies and there was no choice, I had to go into Walmart and buy some inventory stickers. It is with that I hope that they choke on my $5.78 and have a nice day!

TTK!

Momma Mia!

For those of you who know me you know that Carbunkle Trumpet is not my real name (it is Willie Herrenton) and believe it or not with these blonde locks of hair is an 4th generation Eye-talian. My mother has the blonde hair and I took that but I have my father’s build and mannerisms so please pray for my wife. Anyway the end of the month brings the last of the festivals being the Holy Rosary Church School fundraiser the Memphis Italian Festival and all 50+ Italian teams congregate in Marquette park the first week of June for a “friendly’ contest. When I say friendly I mean we realize that this is for fun and any prize money that is won for a contest (Gravy, Anything Italian, Best Booth, ect) we give that money back to the church as it is more about that plastic trophy.
This year the festival turned 20 and I am proud to say that it is still “family friendly” as sure we may drink a little beer/wine/jager but we also are respectful and want it to be like Sunday dinner and this year was no different.
I am proud of our team (Second Generation Italian Society) as we came in 6th in Gravy, 3rd in Best Happy Hour Drink, and 9th in Anything Italian so we brought home some hardware and still had a good time.

Proof that Man does not live on pasta alone these are loaded burger that we made the Wednesday before the festival and Momma made them! They were good!
Speedie Chicken and Italian Sausage for Thursday night

J-Bob and his Cougar!

I don’t know their name as I still refer to them as Sons of Bacchus (Andy’s team though)

Noodle Head’s team (Gill’s team)

Out tent (yes I know it is not like the years past but we are on budget cuts) SYAM!

2 Pollocks, 1 Italian and Lots a Rednecks (our neighbors)

Twisted Noodles (best booth winners)

Apasatalypso (2 down from us)

Mom and Ricky chopping the onions for the contest gravy

This is going to be trouble in 10 to 15 years

Our Doormen

Mom/Dad what does Redbull taste like?

The First Generation

Ba

Now this is how we get dishes done, wine service and back massages!

It is good to be the king!

Like I say!

Aren’t those Pettits so ugly?

Oh look Blog Stalkers! (too bad they like Miss State)

High heels in the mud, no points but thanks for playing

She is a lucky girl

The Last Corndog of the season!

A CBT creation (Sauteed Mushrooms/Onions over Pasta with browned Ital Sausage) it was good!

Only in a diaper at Italian fest!

First Generation nap time!

Ms Anne talking into her hand (her elbow was busy)

Another one down

Synchronized Serving!

Nice Shorts

Paige what do you mean Second Generation isn’t going to win, they are our neighbors!

He realized the band wasn’t going to play Freebird!

Mary Anna

Volpe and Luigi

3rd Place in Happy Hour Drink (you were surprised?)

Thank you poster to the Ransons for 20 years of good times

Richard telling us that he prefers German food over Italian food

The Grape Stompers of Lucy and Ethel

You can take the BBQ cooker out of the Italian fest can you?

No it isn’t mine but she is a cutie

The J-Bob and Mommy

The 3rd place happy hour plaque resting at the Monkey (thanks to Kris Cross)
And so till next year!
TTK!