The Brown Women come to Memphis!

Let’s see I have been to “that Shitty Island” down in Belize too many times to count and in addition to recharging my batteries I have gotten to know the wonderful people and consider many of them ‘extended’ family. A couple of years ago we kept telling Yasmin (Holiday Hotel’s office manager) that she needed to come up to Memphis and play with us as she is close to our age and I know that she would have a blast as we have already jammed with one of her running buddies Ada down in NOLA. Well finally Yas said that she would come when all of the girls headed to Houston for the 2 weeks of chill time they do each July, naturally we were pumped and began planning things to do.
Now when we landed this past June in Belize we were met by the hotel’s owner, Celi Mac, at the front door as she wanted to ask us a question before we made it into the bar and started drinking. We said ask away and wanted to know if she could accompany Yas to Memphis in July and party with is too. Naturally we said sure come along and we started planning “Belizean Girls Gone Wild” as “What goes on in Memphis – Stays in Memphis!”
Thanks to our good friends who are also our neighbors, we secured suite tickets to the Black Crows and got some rooms down at Tunica. The weekend was a blast and thankfully there were no casualties as we put both girls on the plane Monday safe and sound.

My Dad and Celi

Taken at Graceland and I might sell it too!

The Queen at the King’s grave ( in the backyard I might add)

Mr Kate Hudson

He gave a Special Shout out to Yas and Celi

They even fired up the Garafuna drums for the girls

Good Night Tunica!

Yas was figuring out how to get steer horns on her golfcart down in San Pedro!

Can you believe that she is 71? She outlasted all of us!

Here is a picture of Yas getting into Lisa’s inheritance. After this picture was taken both of them took some good money from Wild Cherry slot machines

Mom and Celi

For some reason they felt at home on the golfcart!

We had a blast ladies, come back anytime you want to!

TTK!

Been a while since I made this one

Sundays are a special day at the Trumpet household as it is Sunday-Funday but also night one of our crack addiction TV shows. Also we try to make our Sunday evening meal a little better than the rest of the weeks as I have more time to prepare and can fire up the outside kitchen if needed. Well Sunday morning momma informed me that she wanted Chicken and dressing and the traditional sides. I got all giddy as I knew that I could fire up the smoker and smoke some “yardbird” so off I went to the local store for supplies.

Pretty much all you need is 2 whole chickens, some of your favorite seasoning and a citrus juice

Sadly I didn’t have any faces to put on the birds but here you see they are dressed up with no where to go!

Oh the battle ground is ready!

Put them suckers on the smoker and here we go!

Ladies remember my Fathers day post? Here you see that I am using the indirect method and adding a water (or citrus) bath to add some extra moisture.

With the Egg I add a heat diffuser plate so that I am indeed cooking indirect, if I wanted to cook steaks I would remove that plate and use direct heat

Thar b a fire down there!

Not even 200 degrees!

That makes for a happy Carbunkle Trumpet – now where is that beer and cigar?

5 hours later they are brown, supple and will taste even better than they look!

Sunday-Funday evening dinner was a success!

TTK!

Yeah, Yeah, Yeah

Let’s see I am 2 weeks behind on posts, the main pooter that I use is acting up so I am on the work laptop and that has more security than a nun in charge of nymphomaniac, hormone riddled 8th graders girls who are going to have a lock in with the boys school. (some of you are laughing uncontrollably right now!)
While I am on the work pooter and not posting pictures I would like to wish best of luck with the move to a new city to Ramblings and Shane as they move from our fair city to 3 hours closer to NOLA. These two were the first one who ‘slightly spooked’ me at Musicfest by walking up to me cold and asking “Hey aren’t you CBT?” I have since recovered and have lost horribly to them at Trivia down at Calhouns. 38103 is going to miss you two.
This weekend we also have the return of RxBambi in town for her High School reunion. I will just say that it is amazing that all of us got out alive and other than the occasional ‘case’ of wine we all lead normal lives. This is considering that we went to all-boys schools and all-girls schools! Rx your poor husband and my poor wife should write books about us, they could make some good money!
Ok, I will stop now but tune in soon folks, I promise I will be back to my normal self!

TTK!

Screw Easy Way! Thanks James & Charlotte

Friends of my mothers have a plot of land over at Shelby Farms to grow various vegetables and things like that. James loves it as he gets out of the house and ‘bonds’ with the other growers and I suspect they also do a little imbibing as well but hey farming is hard work I hear. Anyway my mother calls me this morning and says that James has done some harvesting and I need to come over and split up the loot with her as she doesn’t want anything to go to waste. I get over to her house and it literally looks like she has knocked off the local market as her garage is full of stuff. I pick up 3 big bags of stuff and head home and I must admit the smell of fresh Basil in a car is almost orgasmic. I get all the stuff out and we have; Tomatoes, Bell Pepper, Summer Squash, Butternut Squash, Corn, Cucumbers, Spaghetti Squash, Eggplant, Corn, Jalapeno Peppers, Banana Peppers, Habenero Peppers and more.
It looks like I will be doing some vegetable cooking this weekend (EDITOR’S NOTE) that Ketchup crap that I made last week sucked, I cracked open a jar yesterday and it will make good base for Gravy but it ain’t no Heinz 57!

The house smells great now!

Think of that good corn on the Cob right off the grill!

TTK!

You can Leave your hat on!

Live at the Garden weekend and the weather was perfect, mid 80s low humidity, even those jackasses who wore sweater vests earlier in the year would have been comfortable. This evening was the sounds of Joe Cocker and let me be honest, I do enjoy having a table on the grounds in that we are closer to the stage other than the general admission peeps but tonight I would have been happy sitting in the nose bleeds. You see Joe’s hard living life of the road hasn’t been kind to him but let me tell you, you close your eyes and that man sound effing spot on! Great show, great food thanks to the Canagans and a good time was had by all!

Stage dims preparing for Joe

Just a little help from my friends

Shelter me

Unchain my heart!

Kalb and Christie (surprise attack)

Is Andrea waving to me or does she need another beer? You be the judge.

She came in through the bathroom window

Good show, sadly we are going to miss Heart for the Neighbor’s wedding down in Florida and for the Moody Blues in September we will be heading to Dale Hollow to party with these fine folks!

TTK!

Rest in Peace Mr White

I know that this is going to come as a shock to some but not only does good ole CBT have his good looks and hair but also has a tad (slight, barely noticeable) touch of O.C.D. I mean what is wrong with having 20 zillion containers in the garage that are labeled, easy accessible and some inventoried, I don’t see anything wrong with it.

Anyway as you may also have come to find out but momma and I do enjoy a good cold iced adult beverage from time to time and there is nothing worse than someone who shows up to a BYOB party with a 12 pack under his/her arm that was purchased from the store on the way and nothing to keep the beers cold. Enter OCD/CBT as we have quite a collection of coolers for the various functions that we attend and I do catch a lot of grief for this but I am like a boyscout – Always prepared!

Case (no pun intended) in point;

Need a cooler that has wheels on it and has to double as a two wheeler – Check CBT has it!

Need a cooler that you are going to the pool for an hour or so (half case size) – Check got it!

Italian fest coming up and you need lots of cooler space or you need to “hide a body” – Got 3 of em!

Need a good all purpose hard sided cooler that can be used everyday if needed? – Got him and his name is Mr. White.

Mr. White has been with me for a good 5 years as he has endured many a road trip, countless trips to the pool, grocery store, has carried gallons of Chili to football games and even has doubled as Rum Punch container. This past Friday, I had cleaned Mr White out the night before and was allowing him to dry and rest by the garage when it was then that I forgot where I put him. I get into my car Friday afternoon and put it into R and then….CRACK!

Thankfully Mr. White did not have to suffer much as it was very quick and done with. I held his plastic and Styrofoam shell in my arms for little while and said my good byes and had a private ceremony remembering his life.

May you carry many beers in Heaven my friend.

Many thanks to the EMT’s who tried to save him but as you can see from the damage the Goodyear tire was too much for him.

The family does request in lea of flowers you donate to your favorite bait and tackle store. Mr White has been replaced by Mr Green, a Igloo flip top that can accommodate 32 beers and ice, he won’t be able replace Mr White but we will love him just the same.

TTK!

WTCBF! You mean CBT isn’t going to ramble this time!

Ok rather than try to post the pics after the fact I will just start a new post. On a blogger question is it just me or is it a pain in the arse to upload only 5 pics and then they come in backwards and if you have any written the pictures jack stuff up. Is there an easier way?
Thankfully I took advice on how to can from an great elected official (she is great because she is in Iowa) and she gave the the how to and I can say that I am no longer a canning virgin now we will have to see how that stuff tastes because I am a little leery.
I am also uploading our 4th of July party pictures so Chunky and KC Jayhawk can slobber and see how we kick it in the 38103. A good time was had by all and Rambo you have some people here in Memphis that have a huge man-crush on you for your Rum Punch Recipe!

See I told you I kind of went crazy at the Farmers market….

Maters have been seeded but look at that color, it was almost pink!

After a couple of hours it turned into the Ketchup color but smelled like poop, more cooking!

Sterilized Jars

Debbie’s recommendation on how to can and when you follow it to a T it works like a champ.

I can say that this is a first as I have never boiled mason jars before! Oh well there is a first for everything!

What can I say, I followed Debbie’s instructions on how to do it but for me making it I had 3 recipe’s to work from! (seriously I hope that it is decent)

Cooked the jars for 45 minutes and all the lids locked down (Yea me!)

Oh for your info the 4th jar on the right is actually salsa that I also tried, that actually tasted pretty good!

J-bob came down and enjoyed the Redneck pool but thought that the 50 degree temp was a little harsh (filled with fire hydrant water that is well fed)

Still Shivering but wouldn’t get out of the pool to save his life!

Much happier in Uncle CBT’s pool!

Chunky and KC, this is brother Wayne’s smoker that uses trays that rotate around the exterior. It is a sweet “little” smoker!

The boys prepping stuff and you can see Fred (in grey shirt) having a beer!

Brother Chuck checking the fire on the big smoker (not the one that they use for Memphis in May I may add)

Could you imagine that baby down in Bayleeze (or in MN or Kansas City?)

Brother Guido checking the smoking wood!

Side view of Brother Wayne’s ‘little’ smoker the smaller drum to the bottom left is the fire box

Oh yes and we had corn too!

A good time was had by all!

TTK!

WTCBF! You mean CBT isn’t going to ramble this time!

Ok rather than try to post the pics after the fact I will just start a new post. On a blogger question is it just me or is it a pain in the arse to upload only 5 pics and then they come in backwards and if you have any written the pictures jack stuff up. Is there an easier way?
Thankfully I took advice on how to can from an great elected official (she is great because she is in Iowa) and she gave the the how to and I can say that I am no longer a canning virgin now we will have to see how that stuff tastes because I am a little leery.
I am also uploading our 4th of July party pictures so Chunky and KC Jayhawk can slobber and see how we kick it in the 38103. A good time was had by all and Rambo you have some people here in Memphis that have a huge man-crush on you for your Rum Punch Recipe!

See I told you I kind of went crazy at the Farmers market….

Maters have been seeded but look at that color, it was almost pink!

After a couple of hours it turned into the Ketchup color but smelled like poop, more cooking!

Sterilized Jars

Debbie’s recommendation on how to can and when you follow it to a T it works like a champ.

I can say that this is a first as I have never boiled mason jars before! Oh well there is a first for everything!

What can I say, I followed Debbie’s instructions on how to do it but for me making it I had 3 recipe’s to work from! (seriously I hope that it is decent)

Cooked the jars for 45 minutes and all the lids locked down (Yea me!)

Oh for your info the 4th jar on the right is actually salsa that I also tried, that actually tasted pretty good!

J-bob came down and enjoyed the Redneck pool but thought that the 50 degree temp was a little harsh (filled with fire hydrant water that is well fed)

Still Shivering but wouldn’t get out of the pool to save his life!

Much happier in Uncle CBT’s pool!

Chunky and KC, this is brother Wayne’s smoker that uses trays that rotate around the exterior. It is a sweet “little” smoker!

The boys prepping stuff and you can see Fred (in grey shirt) having a beer!

Brother Chuck checking the fire on the big smoker (not the one that they use for Memphis in May I may add)

Could you imagine that baby down in Bayleeze (or in MN or Kansas City?)

Brother Guido checking the smoking wood!

Side view of Brother Wayne’s ‘little’ smoker the smaller drum to the bottom left is the fire box

Oh yes and we had corn too!

A good time was had by all!

TTK!

Betty Carbunkle Trumpet Crocker?

First of all I am having trouble locating my camera so I will have to post this and then I will upload pictures later. I am always amazed by people who come right out and state that they can not cook and everything that they make tastes like $hit and that I am a better cook. I mean I am sorry but cooking from a recipe is simply following the directions, repetition and then experimentation. Normally when someone says they are a crappy cook, I take it as they don’t want/like to cook or they had one of those ‘horrible’ nightmare in the kitchen and refuse to try again.
When I was in my formidable years after college (way prior to the Food network, Emeril or that fat chubby guy who eats bugs) the only time you thought of a man cooking was when he was on the grill and that was about it for males doing the cooking. Well I had the good fortune to work in a bunch of fine dining/French chef run restaurants in the city as a waiter and I can tell you that doing that was way better than any cooking show. The kitchens were male run, full of testosterone and if you think that Gordon Ramsay is too mean then you probably have never been cursed in French while a hot saute pan is heading your way at a high rate of speed! As far as the cooking style it was here that I thought that everyone was supposed to have quart of heavy whipping cream in the fridge, know how to flambe a crepe or decant a bottle of wine that is older than your parents – I guess not! Poor Mrs Trumpet finally broke down and begged me to lay off the bechemle sauce and just cook her a burger, she was sick and tired of heavy sauces and was having trouble fitting into her scrubs for work.
One of my restaurant experiences was with a chef that was a huge fan of using seasonal fruits/veggies and in my opinion could give those “Iron Chef” guys a run for their money. He taught me to ‘think outside the box’ when it comes to cooking, drinking, entertaining, using fresh ingredients and how to roll the perfect joint while standing on the line. He philosophy was that you never knew how something was going to turn out until you try it. He also would write his recipe’s as he went along in that if he added something different he would measure it out and write it down for future recipes.
Ok enough with the past – this weekend we headed to the Farmers Market down at the Central Station and sure enough the Ripley Tomatoes are in and I kind of went crazy and bought a ton of them in addition to peaches and a cantaloupe. When I get home I realize that I would need to do something with the tomato overage because BLT’s are good but I can’t eat them breakfast/lunch/dinner and not have the maters go bad so I put on my Borko hat (and w/o the dope) I did some thinking and idea searching. I come up with the idea of making fresh tomato ketchup as it can be canned, momma would love it and this is something that I have never done before. I do a little web surfing and find 3 recipes that look like would be a good list of ingredients that I like (salt, onions, peppers, brown sugar and GARLIC!) so the blanching of the tomatoes then seeding them and off we go…
I am now in day two of cooking the tomato ketchup as I have to re-warm the ketchup because I ran out of time last night but I will let you know. I also made salsa in the crock pot and I hope that turns out good too as I have burned my damned mouth 3 times trying to taste that stuff!

This could be good or this could really $uck but you never know till you try it!

TTK!

Can I get a F’ing Do-Over? (Adult Content!)

Sorry but I am going to have to break from my traditional satirical scribblings and just ask out loud “I am the only Fucking person who thinks that there is something majorly wrong with these pictures?” Let me begin as I am now 5 days back at work from being in Belize and yesterday afternoon I finally had to take some advil as the vein in my neck was bulging. For those of you who do not live here in Memphis feel free to fast forward to the bottom or you can read along with the rest of the class but let me give you a little Memphis Politic 101.

Our mayor is an incumbent 5th term mayor who used to do a lot for the downtown area in terms of encouraging development then he realized that he looked good in a mirror and stopped playing mayor. Now he plays games with the media, makes threats, probably is crooked, had a child out of wedlock, has threatened city council members, gave jobs to friends who didn’t know their head from a Fing hole in the ground and now announced he is going to run for congress. While we were in Belize he announced that he was retiring from the position of Mayor (he did that before – btw) effective at the end of this week. I of course doubted and you know what he reneged and says he will retire at the end of the month. In my opinion he is a joke of a mayor and makes Memphis look like a joke of a city.

Then you have a city council woman who blasts her fellow members yesterday defending the mayor and (played so many times before) then plays the race card. Janice honey let me tell you a little secret – I don’t care if my elected officials are black, white, green, Mexican, shoots ping pong balls out of their ass or sucks dick in the bathroom stalls of adult movie theaters! I just want my elected official to act like a professional, represent their district and turn this cesspool of a city around. Oh and today for those of you who live outside of Memphis she was indited on not 1, not 2 but 3 DUI’s and driving on a suspended licence. I bet Councilwoman Fullilove’s constituents really are happy today!

Then as I am heading to lunch, I hear that Jerry “the King” Lawyer has announced he is running for the soon to be (sure and I have a bridge to sell you) mayoral seat. I will have to see his stance but a man who sits at a WWE wrestling ring and refers to women’s breasts as Puppies really should not be my mayor! Sorry Jerry you may have put Memphis on the map for wrestling but leave it there please!

Ok as I am fixing to go in and enjoy my 3 martini lunch I get a call from the office as our credit manager has placed one of my “A” accounts on credit hold for a past due invoice. I ask the CM how much the amount is and how past due they are as this is the first time I have ever heard of this customer having a problem paying. Well the CM informs me that the invoice is in the 90 day category and the amount is 4.68….. LET ME SAY THAT AGAIN – FOUR DOLLARS AND SIXTY EIGHT CENTS PAST FUCKING DUE! I ask this person if we can let this slide as with this customer being on Credit hold we are going to piss them off like no one’s business. The Credit Manager almost tries to give me some grief and then I go frikkin Postal and the last thing I yelled into the cell phone at the top of my lungs was that I would cover it with the change that is in my car ashtray or give her my first born poodle. I mean to hold up an account for something that I bet is our fault with the way we coded a credit or a core charge and they do close to a mil a year with us….She is too dumb to wipe her own butt! (my hands are still shaking I might add)

And finally last night the news announced that a baby elephant was born at the Memphis zoo and that mother and child were doing fine and there would be a contest to name her. Well I found out that the baby elephant died this morning….

Can’t we get a freaking break????

Sorry for the rant but I actually feel a little bit better.

TTK! (not you Jerry it is to Elvis!)