Month: August 2009

What did he just say Friday!

I love it, my first installment and I am a day late! Oh well better late than never!
Had a couple responses and I do appreciate it, let’s dive in shall we;

My fellow crimefighter Michelle had a good one that confuses her “not from around these parts” friend who takes translation very literally – “I am so mad I could stand on my head and spit nickles!”
Omg Sorry had a good one the other day in the office – “Busier than a one legged man in an arse kicking contest!”
Blinkatcharlene sent in an email that fits right in too – “Busier than a hooker on two for one day!”

I appreciate the responses and please feel free to fire them in! Oh and for the record it is not necessary to submit the one that has chrome and trailer hitch as I may be going to hell but I do have some standards. (Yeah right)

TTK!

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What did he just say Friday

A bunch of my fellow bloggers put out some really good stuff on their blogs and actually have some edumicatimal stuff or a reoccurant theme on a certain day of the week. The Junior Senator from the Show Me State RxBambi puts out a Pharmacy Friday and I now know that Nurse Jackie is just banging Eddie for the sake of banging as she doesn’t get free pills. Or wait is that a Pharmacy code that I don’t know about? Oh that should have stayed a ‘thought bubble’ because Rx Bambi is going to so smack me (if I don’t stand her up again).
The Co-Mayor of 38103 Michelle does a great job of putting out the downtown info and is actually my first choice for what is going on. We acknowledge each other on the street with a nod as we don’t want to blow each others cover as everyone knows that we both fight crime in the 38103 (well I do – One beer at a time).
And then there is the Junior Senator from the Tar Heel state Otin and he really has some good stuff but sadly I never have time to get in on his random Tuesdays or the other stuff that he does but he is a good read.
So if you are wondering where I am going with this I have decided to come up with a public service for my 15 readers in a new post every Friday named “What did he just say?” Here is how it works, have you ever heard a saying or a comment about something that really put the exclamation point on something? For example when I describe something I could use – “This recipe is very good, as I like it” or “This recipe is ‘Slap Yo Momma’ Good!” now which recipe do you think people use? I have turned into a huge Anthony Bourdain fan (hell I even have a thumb ring now!) and Tony uses a ton of these sayings;
“I would walk across a street of broken glass barefoot to eat at that restaurant” or “My Nipples are so hard I could dial a phone!” It is these saying that I am now going to provide on each Friday but I also want to hear from you (my 15 readers) to please provide me your favorite saying if you have one. Email them to Carbunkletrumpet(At)Gmail(dot com) and I will publish them for ya.
Anyway here are some of my favorite sayings that I use and believe it or not I have thrown a couple of these out there at work and I am still employed so feel free to throw them into your vernacular.

Bad Mosquitoes – “They have mosquitoes so bad they could stand flat footed and rape a Turkey!”
Hot Weather – “It is hotter than two rats effing in a wool sock today!”
Wearing something a little too snug – “That is tighter than Dick’s Hatband”
Frustration – “I am as frustrated as a blind lesbian in a tuna factory!”

You get my drift, so put your thinking caps on and send me your sayings!

Don’t think of it as losing a neighbor, think of it as gaining Big Al!

Remember back when Hurricane Katrina hit New Orleans a couple of years ago? Well I remember it distinctively as Memphis got some major fall out because of it and I am not talking about rain, crime but let me tell you about my neighbor….
Nah, I can’t bust her too bad as that is like shooting ducks at the Peabody Hotel but this past weekend the neighbor married the bald guy and a good time was had by all. I am going to be nice (yeah right) and give you the PG version pictures after the first picture.

It must be love for the neighbor as they got married during death week and there were no CBT tears shed on the grave this year. Sorry King but he was with us in spirit!
Now you may be saying that Guido and Parham sure do keep a crystal clean glass cabinet door as you can’t even see the glass door!

Oh that’s right, those Damned kids broke the glass out when they were throwing the football. I hear that Guido and Steve-o chased those little B@$t@rds for blocks but they were too fast and got away.

Now that is some hair baby! BTW Nicole who do I have to sleep with to get an autographed pic?

My God is that Andy Roddick, Tara, CBT and the Groom?

It is so good to be the king!

Like I said, good to be the king!

Momma was not happy with blogging on the beach

Love those Conner’s! I promise we will see you soon in NOLA!

Good bar and a great view

I admit I may love Belize and San Pedro but they ain’t got nothing on the Red Neck Riviera!

Wedding day! Here come Flo being escorted by the oldest toe head. Don’t let his cute look deceive you, I played frogger with him and my arms are black and blue!

Here come the father of the Bride and the Bride

That is a pretty effing cool shot right there if you ask me!

One of these days I will get them back! Nah the toe heads were very well behaved and had a lot of fun at Rainbow’s expense (thanks Pat!)

Ernie and Sherry – you are so screwed! That girl is going to break hearts!

The North side is kind of lost since they don’t have their fancy hats or can’t sit on the back of a truck.

This could be the second best picture/shot that I took this weekend! Jello shots baby!

Soon her belly is going to be bigger than mine and Jason is thankful it is going to be a boy too!
We will come see you two as well!

Again, it is good to be the king!

Even Jesus made an appearance (so going to hell for that comment)

Rainbow, Shainbow and Pam

That is good stock right there!
Actually Mr Agnellini and I had a toast together that we no longer are responsible for the upkeep of 593 as it is that husband dude! Butchie good luck with that!

Now why does CBT and Tara have their arms behind them? What are they hiding the glass of punch (yeah right)

Vergona and Shainbow

Why didn’t someone take a waist up shot and let me stand on an effin box? Talk about feeling short here!

595 and 593 represent!

Older Brother Pat and Flo (again good Stock and great people)

Day after and all are up and accounted for (well except for the NJ Cougars)

The Allison’s!

Butchie – we will need to have the ‘married man’ talk when you get back, you will need to know the special ‘code’ in keeping Momma happy because if Momma ain’t happy then your arse will go sleep on Han’s couch!
TTK!

Don’t think of it as losing a neighbor, think of it as gaining Big Al!

Remember back when Hurricane Katrina hit New Orleans a couple of years ago? Well I remember it distinctively as Memphis got some major fall out because of it and I am not talking about rain, crime but let me tell you about my neighbor….
Nah, I can’t bust her too bad as that is like shooting ducks at the Peabody Hotel but this past weekend the neighbor married the bald guy and a good time was had by all. I am going to be nice (yeah right) and give you the PG version pictures after the first picture.

It must be love for the neighbor as they got married during death week and there were no CBT tears shed on the grave this year. Sorry King but he was with us in spirit!
Now you may be saying that Guido and Parham sure do keep a crystal clean glass cabinet door as you can’t even see the glass door!

Oh that’s right, those Damned kids broke the glass out when they were throwing the football. I hear that Guido and Steve-o chased those little B@$t@rds for blocks but they were too fast and got away.

Now that is some hair baby! BTW Nicole who do I have to sleep with to get an autographed pic?

My God is that Andy Roddick, Tara, CBT and the Groom?

It is so good to be the king!

Like I said, good to be the king!

Momma was not happy with blogging on the beach

Love those Conner’s! I promise we will see you soon in NOLA!

Good bar and a great view

I admit I may love Belize and San Pedro but they ain’t got nothing on the Red Neck Riviera!

Wedding day! Here come Flo being escorted by the oldest toe head. Don’t let his cute look deceive you, I played frogger with him and my arms are black and blue!

Here come the father of the Bride and the Bride

That is a pretty effing cool shot right there if you ask me!

One of these days I will get them back! Nah the toe heads were very well behaved and had a lot of fun at Rainbow’s expense (thanks Pat!)

Ernie and Sherry – you are so screwed! That girl is going to break hearts!

The North side is kind of lost since they don’t have their fancy hats or can’t sit on the back of a truck.

This could be the second best picture/shot that I took this weekend! Jello shots baby!

Soon her belly is going to be bigger than mine and Jason is thankful it is going to be a boy too!
We will come see you two as well!

Again, it is good to be the king!

Even Jesus made an appearance (so going to hell for that comment)

Rainbow, Shainbow and Pam

That is good stock right there!
Actually Mr Agnellini and I had a toast together that we no longer are responsible for the upkeep of 593 as it is that husband dude! Butchie good luck with that!

Now why does CBT and Tara have their arms behind them? What are they hiding the glass of punch (yeah right)

Vergona and Shainbow

Why didn’t someone take a waist up shot and let me stand on an effin box? Talk about feeling short here!

595 and 593 represent!

Older Brother Pat and Flo (again good Stock and great people)

Day after and all are up and accounted for (well except for the NJ Cougars)

The Allison’s!

Butchie – we will need to have the ‘married man’ talk when you get back, you will need to know the special ‘code’ in keeping Momma happy because if Momma ain’t happy then your arse will go sleep on Han’s couch!
TTK!

Bernell and LD’s mini asses

The weekend came and momma was working all weekend so I tagged along with Weed (no her nickname isn’t because of what you think) to go to her parents house on the lake. We left out Saturday morning and made the trip up to KY (Kentucky for those dirty minded people) and to casa de Bernell and LD. Now Weed’s parents are semi retired and swap time between the lake and Florida but they are hardly the retired folk, these people work harder now than they did when they had the nursery. Anyway we had a great time as we took a boat ride, Ate, looked at their miniature donkeys, Ate, slept, Ate and then had to go home as I was pushing maximum density by the time we left KY!

There it is folks, the largest stuffed Catfish

Bernell and Weed riding in “Suck my Wake”

Captain LD at the helm

Nope you are seeing it correctly meet Paco the miniature ass!

Weed and Otis the ass

LD and the asses

Bernell giving her asses a treat
Oh and for the record, I was not all that keen on petting any of Bernell & LD’s asses as they had a little stink on them. Stinky Asses!

Bernell kept this ashtray that Weed made for her in the 3rd grade.
Doesn’t it look like a short bus version of the circle of friends?

Great views of the lake and the boats

A lemon tree on the porch

I made ribs for dinner

So glad we were able to find a Bud light can so that I could use to warm the ‘Finishing sauce’

Told Mr Frog about the stinky asses

Got to love the grill

Humming Birds were out in force
Good times, thanks Weed for taking me along and to meet your parents asses!
TTK!