Sporting news – Dateline Memphis, TN!

Again breaking from my normal dribble but this is too good not to pass up for my three readers. First of all I hope the film crew that stayed in Memphis reporting the firing of Tommy West and this whole Allen Iverson debacle had a good time, ate a bunch of ribs and saw Graceland. We had great weather this past week and hope you will be back when we have good news to report about.

If you want my opinion here is a quick Carbunkle Trumpet cure to both of the problems that are plaguing our sports teams So first the University of Memphis Football Program and how to cure it;

  • RC love the hair but you gots go, thanks for the memories but even the airport isn’t going to save your arse this time.
  • I loved the comments on how great the U of M facilities are but when you drive down Poplar avenue and see that PDS (that’s a grade school folks) has a sports turf football field and those football players hadn’t even gotten acne yet COME ON! RC you want to see some great facilities then head over to Texas and see some High Schools while you are getting your cowboy hat because a new roof and some paint won’t cut it here.
  • Again I love the hair but Tommy West made a great point when he was blasting you, either commit to the program or do away with it. There were more people watching the MUS/Brentwood Academy game this past Friday night than when the U of M played ECU.

Ok that was easy now onto the Grizzlies and you are going to love this one;

So the Memphis Grizzlies hire (that’s right he was hired) Allen Iverson to work for the Memphis Grizzlies in exchange for a salary he is given a uniform, meals, lodging and God knows what else we are paying him for. Now when A.I. showed up on his first day of work he wasn’t prepared so could not play with the big kids and ended up having to stay inside cleaning the erasers while the rest of the class went out and played. 2 weeks ago he was finally able to punch in and work for the Grizzlies when they were in Sacramento on a business trip and what did he do, he complained about not getting enough work time like the others. (you see where I am going with this don’t you?) Now A. I. asked the boss if he could take some vacation time and I guess he is enjoying his time away from work but how is the company doing in his absence, that’s right the Griz are not doing well and production is way behind. Here is my suggestion on that and get ready for it;

  • I equate this whole A.I. thing to my current job as a factory worker for the rubber sex toy factory as I have been given a uniform, a nice workstation, have a fan to cool me in the summer and they heat the building in the winter.
  • My boss expects me to show up each day at the appointed time, work hard, smart and safely till each break and treat other rubber sex toy factory team members with dignity and respect and if I have a problem then speak with my supervisor and not gossip.
  • In return for my work I am given a pay check but I am required to ‘push’ out a certain number of ‘units’ each week as that has been set forth by the bosses. If I don’t well let me just say that their will be hell to pay but if I do go over then I am given a bonus and I am in the running for “Rubber Sex Toy Maker of the Month!”
  • If the Rubber Sex Toy Factory at the end of the day does not have any injuries, we achieve our bonus and reduce waste then we are all given a gold star and when we get enough gold stars then the entire company gets a bonus and a free lunch by the Owner. As you can tell everyone wants to work together and achieve those goal so we need every team member on their game.

Here is what I say that they offer A.I;

  • Promise A.I. a certain number of ‘working’ minutes each week and he is free to take as many breaks as he needs but we will still require him to produce a certain number of ‘units’.
  • In return for his paycheck we will evaluate his performance for 20 working days and if he achieves the goals set forth by the company then we will allow him to continue his employment with the Grizzlies.
  • Should he not achieve the goals set forth then he is docked pay, reduced hours and possible termination.

And you think that all I do is just wear funny hats and make fun of people?

Love that hair R.C. good luck being the AD at some pigs knuckle grade school

Here is the Grizzlies Company Supervisor Lionel Hollins (or A.I.’s babysitter)

According to his Tweets, he loves Memphis and wants to help us!

Where is my Funny hat, I may need to drink this afternoon!


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