Month: August 2010

Dead Elvis Week 2010

A couple of years ago I was told that if you ever wanted to forecast the weather for the future just know that the coldest day in Memphis would be the day that the Liberty Bowl is played and the hottest would be Dead Elvis Week. Well Mother Nature came through again as it was hotter than 2 rats screwing in a wool sock this year. I still to this day recall the day that I found out that Elvis had died as I was over at a friends house when I found out, said “Wow” then went back to watching Hogan’s Heroes. Over the years I have mellowed and actually look forward to ‘Dead Elvis Week’ as the crowd watching is at an all time peak. Even though it was only the 33rd anniversary of his death the crowd was pretty good and I got to cross another ETA (Elvis Tribute Artist) off my list as I got a pic with Elvis Patel. Ok on to the pics;

Tears are flowing down my face as I get to the “Hallowed Ground”
Yes we tailgate for the Candle Light Vigil (who doesn’t?)
Decked out in her finest Elvis wear!
Even Auntie Terry wanted in on some Candle Light Vigil
Training em early
What is a Vigil w/o some EP Shades?
Good thing we didn’t have a minister or I would have a new daddy (but wait????)
Barbie and her Boys
Poor Robin she didn’t get to stay and play with us.
That Red dot in the far distance would be Ford who thought this was a Micheal Jackson tribute
Even Lilly wanted in some ETA action!
Kinda Creepy ya know?
Oh Hell Yes I got to have a pic with Indian (dot, not feather) Elvis!
I could have sworn that I talked to him last week when I called computer support
Fancy Candle Holder
Elvis has his own wheels
Damn Barbie, can you get any farther away?
See ya got to get up close for the full effect
Fancy footwear
Oh Hell yes he broke them out!
Still trying figure out Shobo’s camera
The kid really wasn’t into it but doesn’t dad look like Gene Simmons?
They were from Sweden
This could have been Gene Simmons minus the face lifts
Got to love the tributes on the street
If I didn’t know any better that could have been a baby CBT ya know?
Pretty neat shrine
Can I get an AMEN?
Looks like the grave is going to have some flowers added to it by another ETA
Thanks to Memphis in May I knew that this was the Chilean Flag and this South American wasn’t from Texas

TO THE KING!

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CBT’s take on pictures of plates

Imagine that you are siting at the bar at South of Beale having a couple of drinks when a co-worker of your wife orders a burger from Slick. The burger arrives after an appropriate time and is presented in front of said co-worker to which she thanks aforementioned bartender. Before she places the garnishment on the burger this person digs into their purse and pulls out a camera….. Oh NO I am thinking, she isn’t, she can’t be………”Damnit she is a plate picture taker! Oh the shame, I had high regards for her until this!!!!!” I have a couple friends on FB and twitter who are also guilty of this and I don’t know I guess it just bugs me. I guess that I need to ‘splain’ myself on why I have such a negative slant on this.
Back before I was the porta pottie pumper outer, rubber sex toy employee and male gigolo, I was the General Manager of a swank restaurant in the Victorian Village area of downtown (seriously I was). The joint was closed on Sunday and Monday evenings as we were not as busy as some of the owner’s other establishments but that was cool with me as in 5 days you roughly work 60+ hours a week that people don’t normally know. The owner asked me if I would go open the restaurant on a Monday for a friend of hers who was a food stylist so he could take some pictures for a client he was working for. I figured that this would take a couple hours so I said sure why not thinking that he may even feed me too!
Well on that day the dude showed up and he had more gear and equipment than the musical Chicago that was just here a couple weeks ago and I am now thinking this is going to take longer than a couple hours. I let him into the kitchen and head up to the office to get a jump on inventory or some other responsibility and leave ‘dude’ to his photography. Now about 2 hours has elapsed and yes the hunger Gods are calling so I head down to check on his progress and snag a bite to eat as I heard him banging pots around. I get down there and it is like a NYC model shoot but here is the kicker, the food isn’t actually food it is props made to look like food. Yep what is supposed to be milk on that Oreo is actually dried Elmer’s glue. French fries in a wax paper cone you think – Pencils with hair spray on them. Grilled Chicken you think – some type of a wax object that has spray painted ‘grill marks’ on it. Oh I failed to mention that I was hung the hell over and now starving! I ask ‘dude’ how long this was going to be and he informs me that he has taken 10% of the pictures and “if I were not bothering him he could continue making art.” Needless to say I tell Pepe the photographer that this ain’t NYC and I would appreciate it if he hurries the hell up.
After a quick trip to the BBQ joint around the corner for a smoked sausage sammie, I head back up to the office and make a foam call to the owner. Naturally the owner had no idea that this was going to take so long and also confirmed that this was a friend of a friend of a friend who needed the favor so naturally this was a freebie. I told the owner that I would give him 2 more hours as I didn’t understand why he needed a commercial kitchen when he could have done that shit in his own kitchen and she agreed. I go down to inform ‘dude’ of this new agreement as he is doing horrible things to a chicken wing and needless to say he ain’t happy. He gets on his phone and starts ranting and raving to someone and he hands the phone to me. Whomever this person is they too are not happy and I inform him that with the mess that ‘dude’ has made, the fact that we ain’t making a damn dime off of this that he needs to get to work and quit burning daylight.

Anyway short end to a long story ‘dude’ finally got his crap pics done, offered to let me have the ‘food’ that he took pics of it as payment and gave me 2 gallons of Ranch dressing. I told him thanks and promptly threw that crap in the trash. Sorry but some of the best meals that I have eaten may have not been picture perfect and thanks to that jackass I still get the red arse when I see a picture of a plate.

Again, my argument is that it may look pretty but it could taste like crap.
BTW – The burger at SOB is da bomb!

That’s right you plate taker geek you get your picture taken by a non food pic taker!

Stole this from RS’s 4th of July pics
How she can eat like that and weigh a 98 pounds amazes me, she must have a tapeworm.

This was either RS or BC’s pics but this begs the question “It look pretty but how did it taste?”
I now return you to your normal regularly scheduled program.
TTK!

TCB Baby Dead Elvis Week is upon us!

So I have a confession to make to everyone. No I don’t wear a thong or speedo like I banter back and forth on Facebook but I am an closeted Elvis fan. I think it started way back 33 years ago when I was over at a friend’s house the moment I found out that Elvis died on the crapper and remarked “Wow” now can we watch Hogan’s Heros? Over the years I have accepted that the week of ‘Dead’ Elvis Week is going to be the hottest week of the year and that downtown will be taken over by a bunch of Japanese and funny talking English people. Anyway one of the highlights of Death Week are the performers (you don’t call them impersonators – That’s rude) as anyone who will dress up in that hot arse shit in August you have to give props to. It is always my goal to get a pic with as many of them as I can in the course of an evening. Here are a couple of my better pics to get you ready for the King baby. TCB!

Mustached Elvis?
Thank you, Thank you very Much

How great is that, I have the coozie and Elvis’ child bride in the pic!

What is not to love about my dad you know?

Yep I even know one of them too!
TCB and TTK!