So I have been getting a lot of “Carbunkle why are you not blogging anymore” messages and emails and sorry to disappoint my 2 readers but we have been kinda busy over here at Bar 595 this Spring and Summer. It is one of those classic good news/bad news scenarios – The good is that Momma will be getting herself a brand new motor-boating worthy racks/boobs, the bad is that the old ones tried to kill her so off they went! We both knew this day would eventually come as she has family history of breast cancer and have been having regular mammograms since she was 35 and this year Aunt Cancer decided to make its debut. We consider ourselves lucky (Yes I said that we are lucky) in that we caught it early and rather than a lumpectomy we went for the big girl surgery and had a double mastectomy. Currently we (who am I kidding – She) is undergoing Chemotherapy treatment and when we get done poisoning the crap out of her we will then jiffy pop microwave her for good measure. Other than the baldness, hot flashes & some jacked up taste buds we are doing pretty good all things considered. As you can imagine we are ‘Kicking Cancer’s Ass’ with a positive attitude much like John “Bad Dog” McCormack did and not being a “Debbie Downer” like a lot of fellow cancer patients we have encountered with our trips to the Doctor’s office and the Chemo Lounge. I figured I would come clean to save you some time when you see us out at our local watering hole no Momma isn’t bald b/c she really likes Sinead O’Conner’s music or is in the Navy Seals she is getting treated for the Ta-Ta cancer.
So for now I am the Cancer Concierge, Doctor Visit Scheduler (you have no idea how many trips to the doctor you will make when you get cancer) and Public Relation Update guy. I had thought of using “What is a Carbunkle Trumpet and I hope I don’t get any on my shoes” as an update board but that would go against my scruples (Carbunkle has scruples, who knew?) so I provide a weekly update in my sick twisted way. If you want to get the update let me know and I can add you to the list as I try to make light of the goings on here at Casa de Cancer Crib.
In the meantime till we get the new Double D’s the best thing you can do for us (besides keeping Momma in your thoughts) is ladies get a regular mammogram and check up. Guys examine the twins every once in a while and when you turn 50 go get the bung hole checked by a doctor. I know that we are not going to live forever but there is no reason to live in the dark or in fear. I have been told by my older guy friends that no a colonoscopy does not make you gay and the worst part of it is the pooping your entire insides out before the procedure.
Keep it light and frothy and don’t worry I will get back on the blogging bandwagon soon. Thankfully there are still people doing stupid things out there and wearing funny shoes so I still have lots of material. Yes I plan on attending the Candlelight vigil this week so I am sure I will have lots of Elvis Tribute Artists pictures.
TTK & Real men wear pink!