Could have/Should have – The Ass Now!

Last week I took a glance at Woot and they were featuring a two for one on the Kelty Versatile Chair and like a smart ass (who me?) I tweeted that it would be perfect for sitting on the bar stools at the local sports bar in South Main. After a couple of minutes I decided what the heck I would purchase it since I will be sitting on bleachers this spring watching the little bastid playing baseball. For those of you who know me, they are laughing as sadly, we don’t have any little bastids children but that doesn’t make us bad people does it? A friend of mine asked me later if I was really going to use the chair at the bar to which I replied, “I may!” but I knew that the ultimate answer was going to be no.
Don’t get me wrong as I do love my local South Main Sports bar but if you spend any time down there drinking beer water on a bar stool w/o back support your butt/lower back can start to hurt. I equate that pain to “Hey chubby you need to quit drinking bud light and then hitting the local Taco Bell and start exercising” or “It is time to take your drunk arse home!” This local watering hole has some seat cushions that you can affix on the bar stool to give you some relief during lets say a triple over time NBA Griz Playoff game or a full day of NCAA Football games. Now that I am a regular Jogger (Read that again if you need to) yes I said Jogger, I notice that everything hurts but someday I should start to feel better right? I figure that now I don’t have so much of a spare tire around the waist I am good for NCAA March Madness so I can sit longer and drink beer water for longer hours, right?
You may recall a YouTube spoof some friends of mine did a couple of years back where they sold the ‘ASS NOW’ seat cushion for those who those who do spend many an hour at Max’s or any establishment that has a standard bar stool. The commercial was funny and I think they may have made enough money to purchase a pint of PBR but that was about it. I mean what else are you going to do on a rainy evening in South Main when there is no football.
Today as I was jacking around on company time working I saw a picture a friend posted on Facebook of a local watering hole down in Belize and I noticed seat cushions above the bar. My first comment was “do they have the ‘Ass Now’ seat cushion down there for the regulars too? . Damnit! My friends missed a golden opportunity and could be making billions selling those thing down there or at least million in class action copyright infringements ya know? Brother Mikey, I know an attorney down there and we can see if we can get you some money out of them but it could take some time since they now have a town clock and street markers to mess with. I will be happy to go down there for you this March to gather information for you.

Can you see me sitting at the baseball games watching the kid this spring? Me neither!

Here is the ASS NOW Commercial (Sorry I don’t know how to center it)

Stolen from Dita but check out the cushions above Ali’s head. Yep Copyright infringement! You hear me Jessie?

Take it light!

TTK!

You are going to meet WHO?

So two weeks ago I get an email from a friend of mine who had just scored a private meet and greet with Lisa Marie Presley. Let me type that again if it didn’t compute what I just said. Yes I said Lisa Marie “M’effing” Presley; you know the daughter of the King of Rock and Roll, yep that one! Sara gets to take a guest and since she knows that I am as big of a fan as she is, she asked me as it also coincided with the new Graceland exhibit “Through the Daughters Eyes” that opened on her birthday.
We arrive at Graceland and are ushered into one of the exhibits and along with 40 other winners await our meet and greet and also get a picture with her that was on my Facebook page within an hour of receiving. We get the picture and yes, I have to admit, that both Sara and I were as giddy as little school kids in that we just stood next the only living heir to Elvis Presley.
All kidding aside to the stuff that we all snickered about her marriages to Michael Jackson and even Nicholas Cage, she is a very normal person. She was very friendly and you could feel that she actually gave a shit especially since we were probably the only two who were closest to her age. We catch her Sirius Radio show and then head up to the house to give it a whirl as I have visited it a bunch with out of town guests.
We get done with the mansion and the grave site and I must admit that of all the times I have visited Graceland and the grave, this was the first time I was in a coat and slacks. Normally I am sweating buckets as it is August when I visit the grave during Dead Elvis Week.
We head over to the Lisa Marie Exhibit and again encounter Lisa Marie, her husband, the 3 year old twins and her older daughter and again, it was like it was just another day to them, very classy. Anyway enough with my chit-chat, onto the pictures.

Even though she was already on the grounds she had to have the Limo Exit Shot

If you know me, you know I am not that tall and I was much taller than her!

Yeah, now where is this Carbunkle Trumpet Effer who takes pics of ETA (Elvis Tribute Artists) and pokes fun?

Was a friend of her dad’s, and yes she is the only person who can call Elvis Presley Dad.

Her older Daughter (couldn’t you have washed your hair kid?)

No that isn’t Argo, is is creepy how much she looks like Dad ya know?

Lisa Marie is leaving the Building (had to say it)

Insert Baby having Babies Joke here

Have visited tons of times and I still love this room!

Still can’t get up there

See RAB we didn’t steal the DAMNED MONKEY!

I bet E got tired of when Dave Brown was a Prima Dona during the bad storms back in the 70’s

Doesn’t everyone have a mirrored TV room?

Love the 500 feet of tapestry used for the pool room!

Damnit CBT you better behave or no Peanut Butter and Nanner Sandwich for you!

Love that Shag Carpeting in the Jungle Room

And on the ceiling too!

Anybody want to talk shit about Elvis and that he couldn’t sell any records? Didn’t think so!

My favorite Cape – “Aloha from Hawaii”

Still selling records after 34 years of his death.

She is going to be pissed when she finds out her eyes were closed!

First time I am not in a pair of shorts sweating into my socks!

Take a long hard look, yes that is Lisa Marie and that pic was from last years Christmas. She still entertains at Graceland for friends and family. No word if she still uses the kitchen however. (Picture was from her exhibit)

Yeah that is her son, anyone kinda freaked out a little?

(picture was from her exhibit)

This stole the show. How many Scarves do you think Elvis autographed in his lifetime but how many do you think he signed “To Lisa Marie, Love Daddy” Yeah pretty cool seeing him humanized. (from her exhibit)

We got this autographed picture from Graceland and again that was pretty effin cool if you ask me

Again huge thanks to Sara for the invite! I so owe you!

To the King!

CBT