Could have/Should have – The Ass Now!

Last week I took a glance at Woot and they were featuring a two for one on the Kelty Versatile Chair and like a smart ass (who me?) I tweeted that it would be perfect for sitting on the bar stools at the local sports bar in South Main. After a couple of minutes I decided what the heck I would purchase it since I will be sitting on bleachers this spring watching the little bastid playing baseball. For those of you who know me, they are laughing as sadly, we don’t have any little bastids children but that doesn’t make us bad people does it? A friend of mine asked me later if I was really going to use the chair at the bar to which I replied, “I may!” but I knew that the ultimate answer was going to be no.
Don’t get me wrong as I do love my local South Main Sports bar but if you spend any time down there drinking beer water on a bar stool w/o back support your butt/lower back can start to hurt. I equate that pain to “Hey chubby you need to quit drinking bud light and then hitting the local Taco Bell and start exercising” or “It is time to take your drunk arse home!” This local watering hole has some seat cushions that you can affix on the bar stool to give you some relief during lets say a triple over time NBA Griz Playoff game or a full day of NCAA Football games. Now that I am a regular Jogger (Read that again if you need to) yes I said Jogger, I notice that everything hurts but someday I should start to feel better right? I figure that now I don’t have so much of a spare tire around the waist I am good for NCAA March Madness so I can sit longer and drink beer water for longer hours, right?
You may recall a YouTube spoof some friends of mine did a couple of years back where they sold the ‘ASS NOW’ seat cushion for those who those who do spend many an hour at Max’s or any establishment that has a standard bar stool. The commercial was funny and I think they may have made enough money to purchase a pint of PBR but that was about it. I mean what else are you going to do on a rainy evening in South Main when there is no football.
Today as I was jacking around on company time working I saw a picture a friend posted on Facebook of a local watering hole down in Belize and I noticed seat cushions above the bar. My first comment was “do they have the ‘Ass Now’ seat cushion down there for the regulars too? . Damnit! My friends missed a golden opportunity and could be making billions selling those thing down there or at least million in class action copyright infringements ya know? Brother Mikey, I know an attorney down there and we can see if we can get you some money out of them but it could take some time since they now have a town clock and street markers to mess with. I will be happy to go down there for you this March to gather information for you.

Can you see me sitting at the baseball games watching the kid this spring? Me neither!
Here is the ASS NOW Commercial (Sorry I don’t know how to center it)
Stolen from Dita but check out the cushions above Ali’s head. Yep Copyright infringement! You hear me Jessie?
Take it light!

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