File this one under “You are not going to believe this one”

Growing up on the tough streets of Memphis I was always taught that you respect your elders and exhibit good manners and behavior. You hold the elevator door, you give up your seat on a crowded subway train, you allow ladies to go first through a doorway, that kind of stuff. We have been living in the UES now for 2 weeks and I am happy to report that we are still alive and have not gotten squashed by a crosstown bus, haven’t gotten dysentery from eating street meat food or holding subway stair rails. I have seen all kinds and walks of people but realize that I am just scratching the surface and that is kind of what I am looking forward to each time I walk out of the building. Well folks, yesterday was a first and I am still scratching my head over it. But first let me give you the back story;

There are many unspoken rules of navigating NYC streets that I have learned so far;

  • Everyone on the streets of NYC is in a hurry, If you are not first then you are last.
  • You better not have your head buried in a cell phone or PDA or you will get run over.
  • You ever play the game Frogger when you were younger? Be ready to hit the overdrive button to find a gap or you will be in the slow lane the whole time.
  • Never, Never stop at the top of an active subway stairway to finish you call because as soon as you take 3 steps below you will drop the call. I saw this first hand and a woman almost got pushed down the Union Square subway steps.
  • Those pedestrian lanes you see on the street, those are just suggestions. Jaywalking is a way of life up here.
  • You will always play in your head “Can I beat that cab crossing the street when it clearly says Don’t Walk?”
  • And Lastly, if you are dicking around and are slow then be prepared to be passed.

So that last one that I listed, if you are slow, get ready to get passed, it sounds only appropriate right? Well let me tell you folks, this is where I got my NYC Cherry popped yesterday on 62nd and Lexington. As I was walking to find Enchilada Sauce for a recipe that Momma was making for dinner, I come up on an older woman who was pushing her street cart obviously from the grocery. She was probably in her 70’s and “Bless her heart” she was moving a little slow but who could blame her? I didn’t see a Fitbit bracelet on her arm so naturally she was taking her time. I was coming up behind her and see a gap to her right as someone was about to jump into a cab so naturally I took it. As I pass her I recalled my manners and said “Excuse me mam” as I passed her. What happened next is going haunt me for a couple of days. This sweet angelic woman blurted out “Go Feck Yourself!”

Yep, I got issued a GFY from a great grandmother!

old-woman-flip-bird

Enjoy your weekend folks!

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