It is hot here in New York this week. The temps are in the high 80’s and when you add the humidity (not like the swamp arse like humidity found in Memphis, NOLA, & Belize) and it makes it unpleasant in the city. The subways have standing water on the tracks and thank goodness there aren’t any Mosquitoes here but you can imagine the rainforrest conditions down there. So what do you do? You walk on shaded sides of the street, drink plenty of water, seek AC where you can, light colored clothing, and lastly you ‘Bond’ up before you leave the house.
Now apologies to those of my friends who live up here but I am calling the other 8 million residents of New York out onto the carpet. How can a ‘kid’ born and bred in Memphis Tennessee, received a degree from The University of Arkansas, gets asked numerous times “what part of the South he is from” be the only person in New York to know about the magical powers of Gold Bond Medicated powder????? Are you freaking kidding me Empire State residents? New York is the epicenter of the world! Songs are written about it, it’s so great they named it twice yet nobody knows about Gold Bond? This morning as I was taking the dogs out for their morning pee I said good morning to our doorman and made mention that it was a ‘double Gold Bond’ day. He is Russian or Ukranian so I suspect he doesn’t understand me as I think it confuses him that I actually say hello or thank you so I passed it off. Today at lunch, I again head out the door with the dogs and Gene, the day doorman, was at his post there and is a friendly guy so we exchange in small talk as everyone else here doesn’t speak. He tells me that it is going to be a hot one today and that I should be careful while walking on the streets. I thank him and tell him that I have Gold Bond and should be ok. He looks at me with a puzzled look and asks what I meant by that comment. I swear, if I had my wallet with me I would have gone to the CVS that is next door (and they are dog friendly too) and bought him a bottle. No wonder everyone walks the streets with a pained look on their faces. Bless their hearts, they are chafing!
Carbunkle Trumpet for Mayor of NYC! My slogan would be “A chicken in every pot and a bottle of Gold Bond in every bathroom!” Vote early and Vote Often!