“I want a hamburger, no I want a cheeseburger, I want a hot dog, I want a milkshake…..”

For those of you who know what I am talking about, “you will get nothing and like it!”  We have been here a full month and so far I haven’t fallen down any bilco doors and I am finding out all kinds of stuff. When we were in the process of moving up here, our friends were telling us how you can order Chinese food at 2 in the morning and someone will deliver it to you. This scared me a tad as I will admit, I was famous for being on vacation and ordering drunk room service. Come on, show of hands, who didn’t wake up in a hotel room with a hangover and half eaten club sandwich in their hand? Anyway in my quest to “Get the UES to speak Southern” by Halloween I have found that pretty much you can get anything and everything delivered to you in the safety of your own home.

Now in an effort not to dog my former hometown but if you are S.S. and you didn’t want to get the BMW on those Bartlett streets you were pretty much limited to Pizza Delivery, Jimmy Johns, maybe a dry cleaner that will deliver but that is about it. Not here in Gotham folks, pretty much everything is fair game and here is what kills me. THEY DO NOT MISS DELIVERY WINDOWS!  For my Southerners readers how many times did you hear; “Your delivery window is between Noon and 6PM and a representative will be at your door during that time.” Yeah and at 5:50PM the technician calls you saying that he is 30 miles away and you will have to reschedule unless you still want him to come. Here we still have a 2 or 3 hour window for scheduled deliveries (grocery, furniture, booze) and we have had great results with that so far. As far as the food delivery guys, well I know why they are maniacs on the streets because “Those Damned Chirping Chicken Delivery Guys” have to deliver that 3 pc dark to that 5 story walk up in less than 10 minutes or it is free. So far I have found that they have a killer restaurant delivery service (Seamless, Grub Hub) and I am sure the individual store/pizza joint. Grocery delivery, you have Fresh Direct, Amazon Fresh, Individual stores and Jet. Then don’t rule out the dry cleaning, liquor stores, office supply, dog grooming, and pretty much anybody that has a store in Manhattan. Oh they just announced that 7-11 will have delivery for those residents between Midtown Manhattan and the Financial District but the Slurpee is not on the menu as they won’t travel that well.

So who can’t wait to come up to see us and sit around in our 535 square foot studio and order booze, pastrami sandwiches and toilet paper?

IMG_8745Fresh Direct will bring a B.A.T. (Big Ass Truck) every 2 hours and the delivery guys with carts will load them up and deliver them to the various buildings. Very efficient and the selection is just as good as going to the store yourself.

IMG_8752Here is the FD dude delivering this hour’s TP and booze to customers in the Yorkville area

IMG_8750Oh the Grocery Stores are not to be outdone, they also get into the game as well.

IMG_8748Didn’t understand why all the restaurants had these stickers on their windows but it makes sense. If you like the Pastrami sandwich today you can have it delivered next week by one of the delivery services.

IMG_8747I think that my former grade and high school buddy’s liquor store in Memphis is now doing this but who wants to lug a case of “maintenance wine” 4 blocks when you can have someone else do it?

IMG_8746Seamless is pretty much everywhere you see. I have not used them yet but I hear we are going to get some cold weather soon so I have the app

slurpees-e1373536985294Brad Pee would be all over this if they delivered to South Main

IMG_8754Gotta go folks, my bagel got delivered and I am hungry. Hey SCOOP  feel free to post some pics of how beautiful it is in San Pedro. I may have lost my savage tan but at least I have good bread!

And no, I have still not found anyone who will deliver me Delta Fried Catfish, Hushpuppies, Turnip Greens, Green Tomato Relish and Sweet Tea. Dash it all!

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