I am a Bad College Football Fan

Hi my name is Carbunkle Trumpet and I am a shitty College Football Fan

I admit that I may have seen 5 hours of college football this season but it is still more hours of college credit that the majority of Bama fans got from attending their University. Oh and by the way Bama fans, really classy move with the Katrina sign, enjoy hell. Anyway, this past weekend my alma mater was playing The University of Mississippi down in Oxford. Instead of blocking out the 5 hours that I needed to drink, curse, pray, watch the game I went to dinner with friends of ours in the Hudson Valley Region of New York. Don’t get me wrong, I do love The University of Arkansas but this Eastern Time Zone (yes I know that it is one hour) jacks with me when watching Game Day, the old Jefferson Pilot games and even the CBS SEC Game of the week. And let’s be honest, when you get a chance to ‘dine’ at a swanky joint overlooking the Hudson River *disclaimer the word “dine” is very literal as we may (or may not) had a wine/bar bill that was more than the food bill* rather than watch a dumpster fire that is a team that you hold dear to your heart…”Honey, what time do we need to catch the Metro North?”

We are at dinner, enjoying our wine entrees and my phone is literally blowing up in my pocket. I glance down to make sure that 1. Coleman Tower is not on fire. 2. None of these calls are from more than 3 members of my family 3. Minnie Driver is not calling to say that she wants to meet me in the restroom and I scan one of the messages. This one is from my fellow restaurant stalker @grainbingirl saying “I love you but….” so I ask Siri who won the Arkansas/Ole Miss game. Much to my chagrin I see that the Hogs won in OT so I go back to my conversation. The next morning, I check The Twitter and after reading all the tweets where my friends are talking about how big Brett Bielema’s ball are I see how Arkansas won. Yeah, I could be running my mouth like a Bama fan but like I said, I haven’t seen much football this year so I got nothing.

11202059_10207640697157146_4305939486061580168_nThe Lady Killer went to the game with his father. Needless to say, I bet that he was pretty happy walking out of the stadium after the game.

IMG_9495My sister and her husband live in a house divided as he is an Ole Miss alum. Bless his heart as he now has to say WPS every time he leaves the house for the next year. I did cheer him up as I sent him a midget leprechaun video I received.

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“I can’t wait to hop on my wife….er the plane with my wife!” Hey Bar Wife – Just because he won 2 games on the road doesn’t mean we still want him right? We want Fuente as our next HBC correct?

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