“I do hope you purchased a puffy coat.” aka “Psst, hey buddy you want to buy a bridge?”

“Is this your first New York winter? Tell me after that how you like living in New York.”

“Oh the wind off of the East River in the winter will cut you to the bone.”

“What kind of snow shoes do you have? How high do they come?”

“We try to get down to Florida as much as we can during the winter, you will see what I am talking about.”

“Hey Carbunkle, you may want to come up here to Canada to enjoy some good beer to get through the winters up here.”

“On the first snowfall day, we head to the bars and drink, it really is pretty before it turns into dirty slush.”

Yeah, all of you folks who have been giving me this free advice, I am calling you out today! From what I can gather, the fable about the New York City Winters are much like Snipe hunting in the South or Jack-a-lope hunting on the plains of Texas. I type this right now because my bathroom floor looks like a Tony Montana/Scarface Christmas party with all of the Gold Bond spilled on the floor. So far the only weather that I have found unpleasant is the sideways rain and the heatwaves that are deceiving.
So who is going to come clean and tell me that you have been pulling my leg? And do you know how to return a puffy coat that I have already taken the tag off of?

IMG_9934El Nino – El Robo

FullSizeRender

You can’t fool me I don’t need a puffy Coat…Unless I am going to Nova and Ted or KLC Man!

Dear 9lb 8oz Baby Jesus, please don’t make me regret this post in February.

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