Act your shoe size not your age!

“My God, the drunks are already here! I should have worked from home today!” explained someone in my office on St. Patrick’s Day at 8:45AM.
“Oh come on they are just having fun, leave them alone!” I said.
My office is on 7th Avenue and is down the street from Penn Station where all the Long Island and New Jersey trains originate and end. Now you could be saying what’s the big deal Carbunkle, leave those old people alone in your office. This is what is strange in that the person who said it is, I believe, shy of 25 years old! I inquired to this person if they were allergic to drunken crowds and really couldn’t get a straight answer out of them. They in turn asked me why I was so tolerant of the crowd walking by our office drunkenly singing off key. I told this person that everyone has their day in the sun and if drinking at 0700 which would almost solidify being passed out by 2:pm was their goal, then by GAWD THIS IS MERICA and they should do it! This person didn’t see my humor and muttered something about me not being responsible.

Back up 2 weeks prior and I am with another rep and as we walk by one of the jewelry stores in the Diamond District they make mention that I should re-up and get Mrs. Trumpet a bigger diamond ring. I tell the rep to kiss my arse and that I already went deep in debt for our 10 year ring and we have 1 more year till we hit 20 years. I see that puzzled look that I get a lot time when my southern speak evades the northern brain and I get the ‘very serious question’ facial expression and they ask me. “Um CBT, did you say almost 20 years of marriage? Um may I ask you how old you are?” I laugh it off and tell my cohort that first, my wife is a saint for putting up with my old arse for these many years and that I have only circled the sun 45 times and next week I will have circled it 46 times. My cohorts face goes from ‘serious question’ face to ‘amazement face’ in that he compliments me by saying that he didn’t think that I was that old. I tell him that the secret to my devilishly good looks is good cigars and cheap beer.

Let me get to the point because I can hear my now 4 readers about to tune out and see what Trump did last night. When we were at the NYFD “After Party” I was complimenting one of the bag pipers for rocking a killer mustache when Mr. 3 First Name asks me how old do I think the mustached mentioned man is. I tell him that I haven’t a clue and he informs me that he has walked the parade 41 times. You do the math and that man has walked 70 miles of parade route. I tell the Murphranks how impressed with the longevity of New Yorkers. They go further to tell me how there is a retired bag piper, who is 80, and still is rocking the free world and I am blown away. I ask the mustached piper what his secret was and he looks me dead in the eye and tells me. “Son living isn’t all that hard, you get up, you wash your ass, you go to work, and the day that you say I can’t do something is the day that you might as well move to Florida and go die.”

Case in point, my friend Wonder Woman who lives down in Belize. You see she and I share the same date of birth. She is “hair” older than me but don’t let those rings around the trunk (is that really how you can tell how old a tree is?) fool you, she is a 18 year old kid at heart! I have known Linda for as many years as I have been going down there. She has the personality that will make you smile, laugh and the human spirit that I so appreciate and cannot wait to get down there to hug her neck. I guess my point is that sure your physical shell can circle the sun many times but that doesn’t mean that you have to act like it. If you keep yourself mentally engaged, in some type of physical shape, smoke those good cigars and cheap beer then you can live to a ripe old age. That is why we love living up here, we are constantly being exposed to things that you don’t normally see and it helps that we both are very open to change, other views and not afraid to ask questions.


Love me some Wonder Woman Linda Carter!


With the hat she is 6’8” inches tall!

In closing to quote Dr. Sidney Freedman from M*A*S*H* “Ladies and Gentlemen, take my advice – pull down your pants and slide on the ice.”



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