New York Friendships

“Wait you are going to Philly for a One Year Old’s Birthday? You have more friends here in New York than I do and you moved up here in August!!” explained someone when he asked me what I was doing this past weekend. I don’t really know how to explain it, does this mean that Southerners are more social than people from the North? Let’s get to that debate a bit later. So how did two people uproot from their home town of 20+ years, move 1600 miles, start new jobs, and yet still have a great social life away from work? Well first of all, when we made the decision to move up to Gotham we both knew that we had a helluva friend and family network already in place. From our NYC Consigliore and all of her St. John’s classmates to the Asian Fireman and all of the NYFD buddies to even more new friendships, we really are lucky to have such a great circle of friends.

To give proper backstories way back some 22 years ago Mrs. Trumpet and OTB were drinking frozen boat drinks in Magen’s Bay in St. Thomas USVI while on a cruise. These two Brooklyn knuckleheads are trying to work their magic on these ‘southern belles’ and things were looking promising until Mrs. Trumpet looks at McNick and informs him that he has a booger hanging from his nose. Yep that was the start of the friendship with all of the St. John’s gang. On the cruise the Memphis girls meet Maria and it was on like Donkey Kong from then. We would vacation with the New Yorkers on Cruises, in Belize, New Orleans, Memphis, we even came up here for a cruise to no-where for a couple of days. I won’t mention all of the names for fear of missing one but we really are blessed to have this group of friends.

The other set of friends that we have was thanks to the guy who now lives in my old house in South Bluffs. You see RJ moved from Willow Grove Pennsylvania to be a tour bus driver at Graceland. With him came a whole bunch of ‘characters’ that I could at best could describe them. Hey Papua New Guinea Mike – Don’t worry the fountain picture is safely stored in a plastic container in the basement of our rental condo downtown. Thankfully the group of malcontents grew up, got married, started having babies and while we left RJ, Mallory, Baby Lisa Marie in Memphis we get to hang with all of his friends and expect him to start making some trips up here this summer. Again I won’t go into detail as I would probably leave one out and we know how bad one gets butt hurt when someone ‘swipes left’.

So you are thinking “hell, you guys got two great groups of friends, you are set” but it doesn’t end there. Now here is where I get two different distinct thought processes and opinions. You recall Miles from The Australian and the post I did about the people of New York? Of course you do, I still get the occasional text from my Bar Wife or Chef Stalker to see if I have been back to that bar and more importantly if he is still working there. For those of you wondering what I am talking about, from that post I reported that New Yorkers are stereotyped as cold, reserved and non-social and that isn’t the case. New Yorkers are instinctively friendly after you get past the first layer of puffy coat.

Since that post I have encountered some New Yorkers who do play the stereotype and are reserved and non-committal. With these people you have to really work in finding a common ground to build a relationship. Case in point is my Cigar haven on E73rd Street. I normally go in there to read the paper, watch a game and try not to engage in the political chat because it is like wrestling with a pig; you both get dirty and the pig likes it. We do get into some pretty good discussions there after you realize “Hey that guy who smokes $50 cigars and makes 2.4M/yr also thinks that children should say Mam/Sir to adults too.”

Sadly there some New Yorkers who won’t let you in or as I say “get up, go to work, come home & repeat” I don’t know it seems strange but I think it was a comment that one of my work cohorts once said to me that hit home. “You know CBT, New Yorkers are normally not ones to open up and keep to themselves unlike people from the South.” I took his comment with appreciation but I have to disagree. Mrs. Trumpet joined a wine club (BTW – Memphis you are doing Wine Club Wrong) and she enjoys it. I have begun friendships with some of my work cohorts and let me tell you, it is refreshing to talk about something other than work when you are grabbing a beer or bite to eat. Like I have said before a couple of times, we really are lucky to have such great friendships up here considering we are still less than a year in living here.

I leave you with an oldie but goodie saying that I have said many times before “A good friend will come bail your ass out of jail. But a great friend will be sitting next to you in jail saying “Holy Fuck that was fun!”  Keep it light and have a good day!

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