Month: May 2016

Memorial Day Weekend Recap

It started last week with various friends and coworkers asking; “You doing anything for Memorial Day Weekend CBT?”
“No, we are staying in the city over the weekend.” Not that there is anything bad with staying here but we are going to be out of town next weekend and needed to save our pennies.
FYI Memphis Friends – No we will not be at the Annual Italian Fest in Marquette Park this weekend. The truth of the matter is that I have not completed my “Speaking Northern 101” class yet but I am happy to report I am rocking the dark socks, sandals and a wife beater like a M’Effer!*
Now unlike my friends and coworkers who went to the beach or the Shore *why do New Yorkers say “Beach” and New Jersey folks say “Shore”* we stayed close to home and had a helluva weekend;

Friday night we went out to celebrate 19 years around the sun staying married to each other. We dined at Delmonico’s down in the heart of Wall Street and had a great meal and time. Part of this blog’s mystique is that I spin real stories and protect the names of the innocent. I will say that 19 years with Mrs. Trumpet has been a helluva ride and I look forward to the next 19+ years with her. Or at least until she figures out how to program the DVR and set up the WiFi connections then my ass is on the street.

Saturday we ventured up to see the Asian Fireman and his family and did a little BBQ’ing. *Remember New York Friends – BBQ by southern terms is cooking something indirect and utilizing smoke or vented heat. Grilling is cooking the same item over a direct heat source.* We had a good time up in Woodlawn and even the Monkey Heads got to enjoy running on grass and being outdoors.

Sunday we got to sleep in (well Mrs. Trumpet did) and tried to see “Manhattanhenge” where the sun lines up and is in full view of all cross streets. It only happens a couple times a year so naturally we celebrated it with beer! Sadly the cloud cover made for a no go of the sun peeking down the streets. Maybe next time.

Monday we chilled at home and again tried to see Manhattanhenge and again had cloud cover so no go. Fell asleep watching the Golden State game and now we have a two day work week!

STREET SHOTS-19You have to appreciate a joint that has been around for a while.

 IMG_1301When I worked at the Fancy restaurant in Memphis it amazed me for those who wanted Baked Alaskans. Naturally I had to have one for good measure.

IMG_1306We put “ole Blue” (the name of the smoker) through her paces on Saturday.

IMG_1313It gets any hotter then I will be telling C-Man to move over.

IMG_1308Got to love Fi, she is going to be a handful when she grows up.

IMG_1314Shoulder 1 is off the smoker

IMG_1316Smoker Two is off the smoker. *The reason for the cigars is that we were trolling a couple of our friends. We both know not to smoke a cigar while handling food.

FullSizeRenderAwww This makes me nostalgic for Memphis!

IMG_1322Manhattanhenge – FAIL!

IMG_1324Not a view down a cross street but this is up First Avenue. Love the way the buildings frame the street.

Have a good week!






St. Sava Serbian Orthodox Church Fire

Last week my boss and I were doing joint calls one day. For those wondering my territory is from 26th street to Wall Street so I have some major real estate to cover. Unlike some of my other work comrades who may just have a street or even a building to cover I have to really pay attention to the distance between appointments or I could be running my ass off. We go about our calls and find ourselves in the Flatiron district and are walking on E25th street. The thing about walking with someone is that you find you don’t pay much attention to your surroundings and can miss stuff. We come up to another construction zone (one on every block) and there is where I see the remains of St Sava Church.

I was out of town on business when the fire alert came over my phone about the church fire. Because of my friendships with numerous NYFD boys I follow a couple of NYFD social media pages. I glance at them and see the footage of the flames blowing out of the windows and figured it was a complete loss. Imagine my suprise when I see that other than the roof the entire structure is still standing. We all remember the feeling of heartbreak when the south wall of the Blue Monkey came tumbling down thanks to the Pucci Ban, why didn’t this sucker fall like that? My boss informed me “they build shit well up here!” What also amazed me was that there were no other businesses affected when that sucker went up. One would expect heat damage from the flames but the other buildings around the church appeared fine.  According to a couple New Yorkers there is a big difference between New Consruction and Renovations. Because they were able to save the walls this job will be considered renovations even though there is not shit inside the 4 walls. I was also told that the first day following the clean up the church officials rehung the American and Serbian Orthodox flags at the front door saying “we will be back.”  I look forward to visiting this church when they reopen.

Fire 2Nipped this off the internet the fire was on the 2nd of May

IMG_4352This was taken this past week. Still standing!

IMG_1282Still inspecting the building.

IMG_1283I imagine the amount of rubble that still has to be cleaned.

Thank God that nobody was killed.



Pictures of the Week! Happy Memorial Day

Skillet in the Elevator of our building holding golf clubs and luggage – “You not going to the Hamptons or Montauk this weekend?”
Me – “Nah, I am poor and will just drink cheap draught beer in the city with the other peasants, Bless your heart My Friend.”

IMG_1256I blame Mike King and the Flying Saucer for this!

IMG_1252Who doesn’t love a street fair?

IMG_1253Meat on a stick! Can I get an amen!

IMG_1254Who knew that our State Department buddy that gets to play with big guns had a gig on the side?

IMG_1255Anybody want to grab that and head to Koreatown for some Karaoke?

IMG_1272Sent this to my favorite chef stalker and cat dresser upper. Sadly this joint is locked up tighter than Dick’s hatband.

IMG_1285So that is the World Famous Bleeker Street Pizza joint that everyone talks about.

IMG_1284Who knew that Peter L opened a joint in Chelsea and named it after himself? I kid Pedro love ya!

IMG_1271If only that kid was a fourth!

Have a good Memorial Day and be careful out there. It is fleet week so Momma wants to go down and find her a sailor.

Dive Bar Gold – Jimmy’s Corner

A couple of weeks the Asian Fireman told me about a dive bar that wasn’t too far from my old office on W44th. This joint is literally a 6 iron away from Times Square but because I am always too busy cursing nuns slow walking on the street I couldn’t place it. JL mentioned that we should give it a try for after work drinks since his office (stop laughing guys) is pretty close and the same goes for fellow crime fighter AS.  This past weekend Mrs. Trumpet and I gave ole Jimmy’s Corner a trial run. Now before I get rolling let me give you a proper back story.
You recall my visit to Rudy’s on 9th Avenue well I have found that there is a ‘slight’ difference between dive bar and well…..just a badly decorated or hipster dive bar. Rudy’s there is no question that is a dive bar. The amount of red duct tape on those booths is proof enough that the owners are simple folk. There is a bar in the East Village that we visited with our friend KT that had a nautical theme. Seriously, a really bad nautical theme. As much as I want to call that joint in the East Village (name escapes me) it isn’t a true dive bar but just a hipster magnet impersonating a dive bar.
Ok, enough with the political banter for today, now Jimmy’s Corner on W44th, that my friends is a legit Dive Bar! We walk in and I can smell the stale beer wafting behind the bar. The whole bar reminds me of Maxine’s International Tap Room from college but with booze. We find a seat and get two draughts of Bud Light (King of Beers proudly served here) between a lot of tourists but what do I hear in playing in the background???  Is that Marvin ‘Mother Effin’ Gaye? Wait is the next song Earth Wind and Fire? Do I hear Barry White now? This jukebox is on FIRE! Sadly the only thing I didn’t hear was Otis Day and the Nights! Yes folks, the jukebox must be one of the triplets from Alex’s Tavern and Ernestine & Hazels. Between beers, I plugged maybe 20 bucks into it playing some classic 4 Tops, Temptations, Al Green and even a little Teddy Pendergrass for good measure.
I can’t really give the pictures I am about to show justice but it is safe to say that Jimmy is/was a big fan of boxing. Pretty much the entire west wall is devoted to boxing legends but do yourself a favor. If you find yourself getting accosted by the creepy superhero’s in Times Square and fancy a good cold beer, head East on W44th street but make sure you play some James Brown for ole Carbunkle Trumpet.

IMG_1266As seen from the street walking West on 44th Street.

IMG_1258No wonder the Asian Fireman wants to go here, it is a friggin Fire Code Violation

IMG_1260You have to appreciate a bar that’s lighting is provided by Christmas Tree and Jukebox Neon Lighting

IMG_1263I looked for the Tyson/Lewis rumble on the river poster and couldn’t find it

IMG_1265The Bartender, George, was a good sport and actually got excited when we told him that our accents may be from the south but we now live up here.

So let me know Asian Fireman and Alex when we want to go. I am always game!


Try the Tongue!

Back when I made my first visit to New York as an adult we were here to celebrate Mrs. Trumpet’s 30th birthday. On that visit we made a trip to the Carnegie Deli on 7th Avenue. I don’t remember much about that trip but I did remember when the Woody Allen sandwich came out and was placed on our table. Literally it was 2 full sandwiches and was piled high with Pastrami and Corned Beef. When we moved up here back in August the first thing we did was make sure we ate was at a proper Jewish Deli. Yes, I went with a  pastrami, salami, and corned beef sandwich. If you have never had one of these sandwiches then you really don’t know what you are missing. We have not eaten at Carnegie since it has reopened and will probably will wait till we have someone in town and need to play tour guide. I have tried a couple of joints up here so far; Ben’s, Pastrami Queen, Barney Greengrass, and right around the corner from is Second Avenue Deli. No we have not had Russ & Daughters or Katz’s and they are on the list so lay off Maria, I can see the finger poking :).

Saturday I was at the Cigar joint and one of the guys ordered a sandwich from 2nd Avenue and it looked damn good. The wife was heading back into town from a day trip to New Jersey and I was hungry so I swung by and picked up a sandwich. While I was there they gave me a couple samples of Pastrami and Corned Beef and I knew that I was in for a treat. I get the 3 pound sandwich and make my way home. Let me put this in words that you can understand. If I had a good Jewish deli in Memphis growing up and got introduced to pastrami and corned beef that is that good, I may have become a Jew. Right now RAB is snorting coffee  through her nose.

IMG_4385All the spreads and fish for the Bagels

IMG_4386I am sure this is healty

IMG_4389You have to have a Black and White Cookie

Oy Vey they serve some good food there and they don’t screw you on the half sour pickles.

James, drive me through the park

Back in the fall we met a gentlemen who also was from Memphis and for 20 years now calls New York home. He was a great source of information about the neighborhood and told us about taking day trips to the Hudson Valley. “When you get stir crazy and need to see grass take a trip up there or walk through Central Park.” He said one evening as he was walking his dog. I was thinking to myself, I am good. Who the hell gets stir crazy walking in the concrete jungle? I can always go up to Woodlawn and see the Asian Fireman if I need to see grass, our old condo in Memphis was in the middle of the business district, we got this.

Friday I took the day off because my boss yelled at me for leaving vacation time on the table. I did some admin work and then headed out the door with a couple Perdomo cigars. The weather was a top ‘5 beautiful’ day sunny, temps in the high 70’s and zero chance of rain. I decided to play tourist and check out Strawberry Fields over on the west side of Central Park. If you have been living in a vacuum Strawberry Fields is the memorial to John Lennon, that Beatles fella, who was murdered and is a ‘must see/do’ for tourists. I took the crosstown bus and ventured up to the entrance to the park at W72nd. The memorial was pretty cool and there were many tourists snapping pics and a guitar singer playing Beatles songs.

I then walked down to Tavern on the Green and I can’t recall who told me about the patio but it is a nice spot to watch people and have beverage. I decided that I would walk through the park to get to the East Side and I have to say it…you forget you live in one of the most populated city in the world when you are in the park. The lawns were full of people lying out and it is funny seeing people in bathing suits without any water around. I made my way to the basin and saw the sailboat rental joint and I am going to lay it out on the table for all to read. I got lost. I thought I was going to exit around E77th but ended up exiting almost E86th street. I walked down to the Metropolitan Museum and got harassed by the CD selling guys and found a nice spot to smoke a cigar and watch the tourists go by.

Ran into Mrs. Trumpet later and told her about the park and she accused me of going to see them film the miniseries where they had naked women. (S/O to SN for the 411 but I didn’t see any filming) We talked about going there with our niece when she visits us next month and maybe take the Monkey heads. Needless to say, I am a fan of Central Park. You should go there once.

IMG_4357Kinda of a nice day to see the Memorial

IMG_4359It is touristy as hell but like I said, I was a tourist today

IMG_4374Note to self – Bring a traveler of Vodka for the Tea

IMG_4373I was the only one speaking English in the park today.

IMG_4372It was a great day to be in the park

IMG_4371Entrance into one of the lawns

IMG_4369Kind of cool with the buildings overlooking the sailboat pool

IMG_4368Lots of people on the steps at the Met

IMG_4367It was a good day to smoke a cigar!

Go visit the park on your next trip.

Fellow Bloggers you Should Also Read – Badass Auntie

Now that I finally got a proper laptop I can continue my ‘Bloggers you should also read” series. This one also is from someone who lives on that little tiny island down in Belize by the name of Badass Auntie. I have known Badass for many years and consider her a friend. Badass and her wife got tired of working their collective arses off in London and moved to Belize. I am fairly sure she doesn’t have balls but if she did, they would probably weigh over 3.5 stones each. Without further adeau, I present Badass Auntie.

1. Name of your blog, hyper link, twitter handle, Facebook page and your Pen Name.
Badass Auntie
Badass Auntie

2. How did you come up the name of the blog and or your Penname?

3. Describe your blog/brand in 5 sentences or less.
I’m Badass and I’m an Auntie. I write letters to my niece and nephew to prepare them for life with other humans, most of whom are not badass at all.

4. Did your blog change direction over the course of the life of it? If so can you explain?
Badasses just keep on being badass.

5. Number of times you try to post something in a week?
I try to post something on Facebook daily recognising badassery and calling out fuckwittery.

I try to write to my niece and nephew weekly or, at the very least, every other week. First I need to be inspired, pissed off or amused enough to write. I have other writing gigs, but this one is my favourite and so I like to make sure I’m not just posting some boring old shit because I feel obliged to.

6. Where do you get your material and how hard/easy is it for you?
My material is a combination of my own life experiences, my not so humble opinions and carefully selected research that supports those opinions.

7. What countries are your readers coming from?
The USA is by far the biggest source of most of my readership, which shows that despite the world’s current opinion of the USA (you can thank Trumpy boy for that one), they clearly are a canny and tasteful citizenry, who appreciate badassery at its finest.

8. How often do you encounter readers on the streets/social media and does it still freak you out when they say that they read you?
I frequently have people shout ‘Badass’ at me in the street, but I never know whether or not it’s because they are a reader or because they simply can’t miss the magnificence of my badassery.

9. Got any good “hate mail” comments you want to share with the class?
Nothing that’s been intelligent enough to be worthy of mention. I did have some Mens’ ‘Rights’ Activist trolls for a while, but they got distracted by their lonely little erections.

10. Any particular blog post that you are particularly proud of? Please include the link if you like.
My most recent blog is always my favourite. Currently I’m enjoying ‘Excuse Me Sir. May I See Your Penis?’, which wallows around in the mess one can find in USA toilets right now. Free with that blog is a cut out ‘Penis Patrol’ badge. What other blog offers you one of those? Huh?

11. Who you be?
I be THE Badass Auntie

12. Where you be?
I be in Belize

13. Where did you come from? (please don’t say hospital or parents)
I was born in England.

14. Care to talk about your family or if you have any ankle biters/pot lickers (pets) where you charge your laptop/tablet?
I have a niece and nephew. They are tiny humans. They like to shit, eat, drink, scream and get attention. They get that from me. I have a partner and we have two dogs. They were natural births.

15. Name up to 5 countries/places you visited, loved and recommend to my readers?
Edinburgh, Scotland
Prague, Czech Republic
Savannah, Georgia
Annecy, France
San Miguel de Allende, Mexico

16. What countries/cities you have on your radar for future travel locations?
Oaxaca, Mexico
Galapagos, Ecuador
San Francisco, USA

17. If you had the financial means to do so, where would you like to live and why?
Belize, but I’d live much better.

18. When you aren’t banging on a keyboard what do you like to do for fun?
I like to make my chickens angry.

19. We know that you read (who doesn’t?) but who else do you read/stalk on a daily basis?
It’s always good to have a look at Chaturbate first thing in the morning. But that doesn’t require much reading, just an incredibly immoral voyeuristic streak.

I love reading Dan Savage. I have a hankering to be a more Badass but female version of him.

Going down the vanilla brick road, I’d say I like a bit of local opinionated colour from and some international island chickery from

20. Could you get me an introduction with that author so that I can send them this questionnaire?
Chaturbate? The best advice I can give you is to use ‘incognito’ mode.

21. What is your favorite food and restaurant (doesn’t have to be in your current location)
Croissants at Cumpanio, San Miguel de Allende, Mexico

22. If you are living abroad, what is the one thing that you miss the most?
British humour and the liberal use of the word ‘cunt’.

23. Where do you see yourself in 10 years? (please don’t say older)
The proud owner of 14 Chihuahuas.

24. What’s on your bucket list?
Safari in Kenya

25. What is the question do you want to ask Carbunkle Trumpet (I promise to answer honestly)
Did you ever stop and wonder?

I do but then it hurts way too bad. Not like when you go pee but when you eat ice cream way too fast.

Thank you for playing along there Badass! Also make sure you go read her contributions at women who live on rocks.


Pictures from the Weeks Past

Losing a laptop will certainly mess with you mad organizational skills. Here are some pictures in no particular order.

IMG_1023Hey RJ, ML, BR, Double Birds and KM – Look I have a pool up here too for Friday Board Meetings. It may be across the street from St. Patrick’s Cathedral but it’s a pool.

IMG_1064I think this was the only day in May that the Asian Fireman worked.

IMG_1088aI so wanted to go up and knock on the door and ask if “The Shitter was Full”

IMG_1090Asked if they knew the LVD and they said they never heard of her.

IMG_1094Always good to see “The Carol”, LVD and baby Brother.

IMG_1103What to put on my bagel?

IMG_1128I must admit, I was jealous of Baby Fine Hair when she sent this pic to keep the tradition alive. For those of you wondering – Each and every Sunday of Beale Street Music Festival I would go down to the park on Sunday Han Solo as momma didn’t want to fool with it. So that I would remain married, I would always bring her a Pronto Pup on my way home. The pic on the right was 3 years ago when we had monumental rain and cold temps. My friends who took the pic couldn’t believe that I walked across the mud pit to get a Pronto Pup. They said I looked like Patton crossing into Italy. Momma wanted a Corn Dog!

IMG_1171Hey JL, I know your thoughts on 3pc Suits but what about skinny highwater pants?

 Have a good one.




Dining at Blue Hill at Stone Barns

“Do you guys want to go with some of the same Per Se group to eat at Blue Hill at Stone Barns?” was the question that one of the Murphranks asked us back in January. My first response was “hell no, I hear that Applebee’s is about to come out with their summer menu and I have to be the first on line to dine there!” Of course we are in! Now granted, I really didn’t know who, what,or even where Blue Hill was or why does it have a Stone Barn. Naturally I did a little GTS (Google That Shit) and found that Dan Barber, the mad scientist, pioneered the first “Farm to Fork” restaurant using sustainability and better dialogue with farmers. If you have not had a chance to watch the Netflix Chef’s Table Season 1 do yourself a favor and watch it. The dude is cutting edge, granted I bet he is not the greatest to work with but he gets the job done.

The back story about Dan Barber was that he opened up Blue Hill in the West Village and was trudging along like any new start up restaurant would. They said if they could break even the first year then it was a win. One particular Saturday morning Dan picked up 4 cases of fresh asparagus and was bringing them to the restaurant. He opened up the walk in fridge and found that he had an entire stack of Asparagus that was ordered undenounced to him and he frigging lost it. That night everything was going to be asparagus based. Asparagus Soup, Asparagus Appetizers, even Asparagus Ice Cream. This is probably where the front of the house started calling around to see if they could get on with another restaurant because normally chefs don’t go this cray-cray. Naturally as luck would have it, guess who decides to come in for dinner that night? The New York Times Food critic…..Well there was nothing they could do so they went along with the asparagus themed menu and the critic loved it. Boom!!!!! The start of Farm to Fork dining began and Dan Barber was at the helm.

So a couple of weeks back we head up to Tarrytown via Metro North with MC and let me tell you, the Hudson Valley is really beautiful in the spring. We get to “The Farm” and this isn’t like your normal farm. It was later that I found out that it is part of the Rockefeller land. We naturally under the expert guidance of Lady Lawyer and Homeless Tim we all agree on the grazing and pecking menu paired with wine (of course) and have a great time. I have to admit; I wasn’t sure what I was getting into with the ever changing menu  I dug it. Bonus also was that we find out that the dining room manager is a huge Elvis Fan.  I inquired when Tomato season was going to be and we will secure a table that night too.

13094106_10154148320699764_7437875963709209459_nWhy does all the fancy joints we go to have detailed menus? The Tavern doesn’t have a menu and they just as fancy.

13124688_10154148319944764_2333726738441885912_nDisplay of all the stuff that is available at current season

13100768_10154148318984764_306557371284769834_nThe Bread Room – This place does not play at all!

13092016_10154148320029764_4486770916974523826_nThis is their Grill/Smoker/outdoor play thing at Blue Hill

13062252_10154148320064764_6155295292157447343_nChargrilled Asparagus – And it was damned good too!

IMG_1114A little PDA during courses I see.

13076673_10154148318904764_6456046196893328_nYes this was taken in…..wait for it…. The Manure Room. By the way, it was bigger than our apartment too!

IMG_1116The Bar at Blue Hill – Very Impressive

dan_barber_portrait2The Mad Scientist himself – Dan Barber

Thanks for the invite Murphranks and TL. We are certainly in for the next gastro experiment!

On your deathbed, you will receive total consciousness 

On my morning commute to the office in Greenwich Village there is a Buddhist monastery that I always walk by. A couple of the monks are normally outside picking up trash or tending to the neighborhood. I am always friendly and say hello as I walk by. One particular morning I am walking by and one of the monks is struggling to get a box out of a car so I go over to help. I ask him if I can help and me smiles at me and motions that I can help him get the oblong box out of the trunk. I will admit it freely that I don’t know if they are allowed to talk or what. The monk that I am helping can’t be 5 feet and probably weighs 80 pounds soaking wet. He is dressed in his yellow and red robe outfit that you see on TV shows and he mutters “thank you” as I get the box to the curb. It is then that 2 other monks come out of the building and they get the box into the monastery. I go on my way to take my nap at my desk until it is time for lunch.

I have to let you in on a secret, I am enthralled with the vast number of different religions that are here in New York.  From the Orthodox Jews who stand on 47th street in the heart of the jewelry district to the Russian and Persian Jews who go about their business up here in the Upper East Side. I almost gave my former “daddy” (manager) a heart attack one day at lunch when we took out a client to lunch at the French Kosher restaurant in midtown Manhattan. The client was sitting across from me at the table but wasn’t wearing a yarmulke like the rest of the restaurant patrons. I prefaced my question to the client that I was meaning no disrespect but why he chose not to wear the Traditional Jewish yarmulke. He told me that his particular sect was not required to wear one yet he kept with Kosher dining habits. He appreciated my curiousity and he gave me a brief history of his particular sect. Like I told him; “I came from a town that you were either Catholic or Southern Baptist, yet you still saw each other in the liquor store.”

So back to my story, the next day I am walking to my office and I walk past the Buddhist Monistary again and the monk that I helped the day prior comes out the door. He walks up to me and says that he would like to give me a blessing. I am floored and truly honored and agree to it. He takes my hands and holds them between his and mutters something in different language. He gives me a foil card and tells me that he wants me to pray for peace. He also gives me a small wooden beaded bracelet and puts it on my wrist. He asks me to sign his book and I ask him if I can give his temple (do you call them temples?) a small donation. He smiles and says that I am not required to do so and I should do a good deed for some random stranger instead. I know that I will take some grief from some of my old Memphis ball busters but I am really into this. I have always said that I wasn’t an overly religious person but more spiritual and am a firm believer in Karma. This belief keeps me centered and if I can do a good deed for a random stranger maybe we can make this marble we call earth a better place. I did some research on that particular monistary and that group of Monks are in the same sect as the Dali Lama. Maybe that is what we all need, pray for peace and do good deeds for our fellow man. Beats the shit out of yelling at people in the airport.

So go out and do a good deed, even if you don’t feel like it.