Missing Memphis

I was with one of the Garment District reps yesterday. She had a client in my territory and wanted to know if we could make “joint calls” in my hood. I welcomed her along with the condition that she would help me with a client who was a hard sell for me. First I thought it was my accent was the barrier but after further inspection the other rep confirmed what I thought. The client is Bat Shit Cray-Cray. During our day, I got a couple of text messages from Mrs. CBT.  My personal cellphone was on silent so I didn’t get a chance to see them until we got back to the office. I dig through them and read “attempted robbery at our Citibank.”I shoot her a snarky comment back asking her “if she missed Memphis too” and finished up my afternoon.

I get home and after shredding my sweaty ass suit I dismiss myself over to see the boys at the Cigar Inn on E73rd Street. I walk in the lounge and immediately the ball busting begins. “Hey kid, we know you miss your hometown so we arranged a reminder for you at the corner of 71st and 1st Ave today” said one of the guys in the back who loves to bust my chops. *EDITORS NOTE – sad thing is that I wouldn’t put it past a couple of them who frequent the back room because they really do have “a guy”!*

I sit in the front room where we have declared it “The Non-Trump” room and sure enough every 4th person who walks in starts in on me about the bank robbery and if it reminded me of Memphis. I mean I am starting to get a complex and ask a couple of my buddies if they think that Memphis is indeed dangerous. They tell me that it just isn’t Memphis, they are scared of any joint that allows people to have open carry. I finally look up the crime on my iPad and see that the robbery was by a man in a suit. I proudly declare that “It couldn’t be a Memphis Crime, the only people who commit crimes in suits are politicians! Oh and Go Fuck Yourselves guys! CBT OUT!”

Screen ShotScreen Shot from Mrs. CBT

BankYep, the Boys were in Rare Form busting my chops. Wait till I wear my Seersucker Suit this Friday. That should shut those Fuckers Up!

So I hope you have a good Wednesday!







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