Month: July 2016

Pictures of the Week

It has been a good week and this weekend will be even better. We head out to Atlantic City to annoy our former neighbor and see which one of us can resemble a Christmas Tree the best. Have a good one folks.

IMG_1805“Excuse me, do you know how to get to 19 Bowery ?”
“Sure you go down this street and hang a left at the Unicorn on the Fire Escape!”
That man wasn’t lying when he said Unicorn on Fire Escape!

IMG_1794Let’s play a game, can we see how man sweaty tourists we can get to stand on the corner of Broadway and 34th Street.

IMG_1813Apologies to my favorite Hippo loving,  Todd Rundgren singing, Not for Profit working Jessie W if this song gets stuck in your head. #Robocares

IMG_1814Who knew that so many of my friends were Radio Head fans.

IMG_1818It really doesn’t suck being in a suite in the Garden.

IMG_1822Kind of cool having a 19K person sing-a-long!

IMG_1823I am not sure if I should be excited or offended that my client gave me this. I think she saw the sandwich I ate yesterday on Instagram.

IMG_1826Got to love the 3 dollar shoe shine joints in the Financial District

FullSizeRenderGet ready former Neighbor to raise your hand because you heard the same story from yesterday. Oh and you too KJ and JD! It is going to be on!


Got to love My Friends.

So Sunday afternoon after the cruise we decided to have a cold beer before heading back to the Upper East Side. Since we were very close to work I knew a couple of beer joints that we could grab a cold one on a very hot day. I learned from very early on that during a heatwave you have to abandon conventional establishments and seek subterranean low lighting bars that are cooler than street level bars. I learned that nugget of information from my trips to NOLA, where one can get swamp ass in a matter of minutes.

As we were sitting at a W4th street establishment my cell-u-mar foam rings as I get a text message it is from my friend “Double Birds” who sends me a picture of the South Bluffs Pool with the caption that read “Current View!” I respond with the only way that I know how, a picture of the bar that we are currently sitting saying “my current view.”  Man I really miss not having a pool.

IMG_1790Even the effing Dogs have a pool! I can only imagine the look of distain that Maya would give me if I took her to this doggie park.

IMG_1793Shout out to Mary M for the text message! Miss ya!

IMG_1792Pubs – Irish Sunblock and better than a cooling station too!

Makes you feel loved as we are nearing our 1 year anniversary of being New Yorkers.


A Three Hour Tour….

On Sunday rather than our Dive Bar Search we headed over to the West Village for a work event with Mrs. Trumpet’s day job. We were to take a 3 hour boat ride around Manhattan with lunch and drinks. We took off from Pier 40 which was ironically one block from my office and headed North up the Hudson. We passed by Hoboken and pier 13 in New Jersey were we had a fun Sunday Funday with Z squared back during the 4th of July and then headed back South to head around to the east side. To finish up the cruise we headed back to see the bitch in the harbor. There isn’t much to talk about a boat cruise so I will get on with the pictures.

IMG_1773Pier 13 in Hoboken, You can almost see the fist pumps from here.

IMG_1787Nice day for a boat ride

IMG_1786I really need to get a boat or find someone who has a boat.

IMG_1779One World Trade

IMG_1780Lower Manhattan and the Financial District

IMG_1778Kind of a cool shot of the Brooklyn Bridge

IMG_1770One of the many cruise ships that sail from Manhattan.

IMG_1772The Intrepid docked on the Hudson

IMG_1767Here we go again, with the pinching of heads

IMG_1783Closest we got to the bitch in the harbor who actually has an address in New Jersey

IMG_1782But first let me take a selfie. Shout out to J.J. who is the champion of Selfie’s

I encourage all to take a ride on a boat tour if  you are given the opportunity.

What a weekend

So this one is probably going to go over the heads of a lot of Memphians because to understand this you have to be here. It is hotter than 3 rats screwing in a wool sock in this city. The humidity that we have here is not like that of Memphis because the dew point isn’t as high as it is down south hence your glasses don’t fog up when you walk outside. Still I am stinking up suits sweating my ass off like its nobody’s business. You add the residual build up of heat from the buildings, sidewalks, and streets….well you get the picture, it is SWAMP ASS Hot!  I wondered why everyone heads out of town each weekend during the summer and I finally get it. It is actually cooler when you get off of this rock called Manhattan.

Saturday we headed back to Wantagh Long Island for Round 2 of the Fish. You remember The Fish don’t you? Well our host prepared even a bigger one this time around. As we were hanging out I noticed that it wasn’t as humid as they claimed it would be but was informed that because of a thing called grass it is actually cooler in Long Island. The bad is that when it is winter it is noticeably colder so it is a trade off. It actually was nice sitting outside for the entire afternoon because the temps were much cooler and there was zero humidity.  All those Jones & Rockaway beach people have this shit figured out. Anybody got a house we can crash at in the Hamptons? Murphranks & Asian Fireman you want to go to Long Island for a wine tasting to escape this Hot as Balls weather?

IMG_1765Are you fecking kidding me? My Ex Work Wife, Amy Farrah Fowler, knows my thoughts on Gluten Free and Vegans. #shittyhunter

IMG_1762An Atheist, a Crossfitter and a Vegan are all sitting at a bar….
….and I only know this because they won’t shut the f*ck about it.

IMG_1764She was not happy that Peppers won the “Who wore it Better” contest.

IMG_1807Here is the Before Picture.

IMG_1806Here is the After!!!

 Thanks to RP & MC for the hospitality.


“Is it Hot Enough for You?”

That phrase is synonymous with anyone who wants a good ole punch in the throat. They say it in the South, they also say it here in the North. I walk into a building up here with my shirt sticking to me, my silk tie is moist (S/O to Kaylee & Lana but they don’t love me anymore) and the security guard asks me that question. Sure I want to smack him upside his head but I need to go see a customer that I don’t have an appointment so I play along with his stupid question.

Be careful out there folks, check on the elderly (Hell check on the 46 year old wearing a pinstripe suit who will be in the financial district today) and stay hydrated.

IMG_5097Nipped this off of my good friend DR who took posted this picture yesterday. No that isn’t in Vegas or the desert. That is in Crime-Free Memphis TN!!! I bet our former admin who moved to Memphis from NYC is starting to question why she moved to the 3rd ring of hell. This my folks is what we call “Hotter than 2 rats screwing in a wool sock!”

Have a good weekend.

Bless Your Heart Sir

It is no secret that we live in an apartment provided by Mrs. Trumpet’s employer that they rent to us at a ‘slightly’ reduced rental rate. Living here is great, sure we would love some more square footage but having a doorman really kicks ass. We can order our ass off on Amazon,, Hello Fresh, Marley Spoon, and have our booze delivered and signed for from Astor Wine and Spirits and don’t have to worry about being here when they are delivered. The only thing that we have to be here for is deliveries from the Grocery houses (Peapod and Fresh Direct) for the reason that they don’t want to mess with refrigerating everyone’s stuff. The guys are great downstairs and even the Monkey heads have their favorites as “Treat” Pete give Maddy and Maya dog treats after they get done with their walks.

The building has a nice weight room and gym, nursery/kids playroom, resident lounge that we can rent for parties and even an outside space in our courtyard. What  bites is that they frown on cigar smoking so I have to carry my ass over to Central Park or the Cigar Inn for a smoke. We don’t have in apartment washers and dryers but there is a common laundry room on the 5th floor. We chose to do our own laundry for a couple of simple reasons; 1. To carry all that crap downstairs and then pick it up next day is kind of a pain. 2. Do I really want someone touching my skid marked BVD’s? (I got to see if you are still reading) So we opt for the laundry room. This past Sunday morning I was downstairs folding clothes and in walks one of the residents. It goes like this;

The man was walking back and forth with his laundry basket looking for some open machines. The washers are on the bottom and the dryers are on the top and they have 4 industrial machines for heavy stuff. I can see that he is perplexed so I mention to him that the towels in the industrial dryer are about to come out if he needs to use a dryer.

Me – “Sir that machine right there *points to industrial dryer* is about to be done if you need to use it.”
Dude – “Thank you, is that a dryer?”
Me – “Um yes have you already washed your clothes?”
Dude – “I think so, I put it in *points to a dryer* but my clothes don’t really seem clean”
Me – “Sir, you put your clothes in a dryer, you are going to need to put them in a washer *points to washer* to get them clean.”
Dude – “Thank you sir, my wife is out of the country with my kids and I have run out of underwear.”
Me – “Bless your heart sir.” *promptly leaves the laundry room*

I guess that is why they call it medical practice you know?

Have a good day and I bet you a dollar that at least one of my 6 readers will ask their doctor if they know how to do laundry.


The Boogie Down BBQ on World Famous 236th Street!

You have probably heard me reference my friend RJ who lives in Memphis. RJ was originally from Pennsylvania but moved to Crime-Free Memphis as he wanted to be a shuttle driver at Graceland. RJ found himself a great woman (Let me rephrase that, Mallory, his wife,  is an effin saint) and they lived behind our house in South Bluffs. When we decided to sell Bar 595 he and Mallory bought it after we suckered hard sold JL (not Angry JL the one who can’t ride the majority of the rides at Disneyworld) into buying the house on Madewood to make the Ponzi scheme work. RJ’s best friend is the Asian Fireman and a whole bunch of other players who live near and around our vicinity. The Asian Fireman would come down each year for Memphis in May BBQfest so naturally they got the indirect smoking fever and sure enough some stick burners smokers have been purchased and reside in the Bronx and Glenside Pennsylvania.

A couple of years back the idea of The Boogie Down BBQ was born and a bunch of  Memphians headed up to 236th street and took over the house when the Asian Fireman’s wife was pregnant with C-Man. Can you believe we cooked all the food on just one smoker and a grill for 40 people?  After a trip to Glenside last year we headed back to 236th street and we were expecting a hungry crowd of 100 invited guests. We had 3 smokers and the grill and the menu included; Pork Shoulder, Baby Back Ribs, Spare Ribs, Beef Brisket, Beef Ribs, Chicken, Red Snapper and BBQ Nachos. The crowd came hungry and we delivered. A good time was had by all.

IMG_1718We must have elected a new Pope last weekend. Like a million of them

IMG_1717Prepping the Ribs

IMG_1719Loading the Smoker with Championship Ribs

IMG_1729Good to see Butchie who was in town for the day.

IMG_1732Me – “Um I smell something burning.” Asian Fireman – “Carbunkle, you need to lay off the sauce, there isn’t anything burning.” Me – “You were saying…..”

IMG_1710Pepe bossing us around from the chair

IMG_1708My buddy RJ, can’t wait to hoist a couple Cerveza’s down in Mexico!

IMG_1734The Spread for Dinner Service.

13697082_10154377130171214_6349630965306790063_nThe Backwood’s Smoker ish smoker. I could so use this sucker down on First Avenue.

13707714_10154377130246214_6399415964770970517_nBrisket’s being sliced.

IMG_1733Little Baby Priscilla Presley H is going to be the cutest girl in the Convent till she is 25!

It was a good time and I am glad to be enjoying some dinner that isn’t Hickory Smoked.






Pictures of the Week

Long Weekend folks, I think that a picture of my liver is going to be on a milk carton very soon. Between the sunburn, shaking hands and a desire to have something that isn’t smoked it was great seeing everyone this past weekend. I will discuss that later but here are some pictures for my 6 readers. Be careful out there folks it’s Monday.

IMG_5053Will all of you feckers move? I can’t get a good shot of the sunset!

IMG_1738I would rather be a Bama Fan than drink Rose. Yes I am looking at you JAM & LZ.

IMG_1659I may need a little religion after this weekend.

IMG_1739Are you fecking kidding me with these prices?

IMG_1740Sons of Motherless whores, how in God’s name can you charge that for Bologna. I shudder to think what King Cotton Bologna would cost up here.

IMG_1720No this isn’t a crotch shot or me showing off the stems. My buddy FW would appreciate my choice of clothing for the Boogie Down.

IMG_1701Yep, it gets hot up here so Cabbies have to do something to keep us passengers cool.

More later, now I got to catch a train.


Poundsign GreatCouple

I am going to break my traditional blog posts today. I have to be honest, I have written and re-written this blog at least a dozen times and played it out in my head many times since last Saturday. If you are wondering, I purposely did not tag this post to my Facebook or Twitter accounts today for a reason. This post isn’t about me or our adventures up here and I would rather not have any comments on my Social Media accounts. I know for a fact that the two people that I am going talk about would both smack me in the head and tell me “Knock it off Jackass, we are just two normal people.” But they weren’t, they were something special.

I first met Summer Sieben some 20 years ago when I was managing bars for River City Management. She was little shit. Granted she was in college, waiting tables at the Tap House and making more money than God but she was a tough cookie. She had a following of regulars and she loved the previous manager who was ceremoniously un-assed and I was the guy from Beale Street who replaced him. In other words, she hated me. We had our moments over that year. It was one night when we were dreadfully slow she told me; “I respect you Robo, you got thrown into a shitty situation but you won us over.” It was then that I became a fan of Sunmer. I moved on and it was about 4 years ago that we reconnected via Facebook. I recall the first message she sent me after I accepted her request and it went something like this; “Hey Robo, looks like you are doing well and loving life. I am married to my best friend and living in Houston, TX. His name is Jim and I am crazy in love with him. We will be in town at Thanksgiving and would love to see you and Shobo.” 

I met Jimmy aka “Paco” one afternoon at Alex’s Tavern the Friday of Thanksgiving. He was a man of few words but I knew I loved him. Summer had made some comment about something silly and Paco, under his breath, zings her. I look at him and start smiling and nodding my head because he hit the nail on the head. Jimmy looks at me and says “Robo, I hear that you were one of her bosses back when she was in her ‘formative’ years. I applaud you because you must have the patience of Job, or did you just ignore her like I did when she would need cheese with her whine?” Like I said, Paco was a special man but his love for Summer was very evident and they both loved having a good time together.

When I announced that we were moving to New York I got a message from Paco that simply said “Congrats, I know that you and Shobo will do fine up there. Please do me a favor…teach those Yankee bastards how to properly pronounce Houston Texas!” He and Summer both would read this worthless dibble of a blog and were quick to bust my balls when I would talk about vacations or post pictures. You see Jimmy and Summer were also big into vacations and weekends away. They would go to tropical locations with friends, they would go to great locations and events for work and there was never a picture without a smile on either of their faces. They lived life to the fullest and after seeing a bunch of pictures being posted this week many of their friends also saw them love life. 

Last Friday Summer posted a picture of herself standing in front of a private plane rocking her LV bag, floppy hat (Summer had the Irish skin that needed SPF 1000) and the caption read “So this is happening!” My friends Summer and Jim Austin died last Friday in a plane crash in West Houston Texas. There was other couple who were also with them and they too perished in the crash. Earlier in the same week during the 4th of July holiday I was texting Summer about when the 4 of us would get together. She was telling me that they had a busy fall but we should plan a trip to someplace warm and tropical in the early spring. My comment to her was “Only if Paco brings those America’s Cup shorts I saw earlier on FB.” Poof! Now they are gone.

I have had a hard time wrapping my head around this horrific event. Why? How could you? It isn’t fair, they both are supposed to do much more with their lives! I have played these questions over and over in my head and still can’t make heads nor tails of it. I am not much of a prayer person, I think that if I did ever get on the line with the man upstairs he may freak out and hang up on me.  My only hope is that my friends when they left this world it was quickly and without pain and suffering. I already know in my mind that they were holding hands telling each other that they loved each other. I knew that the moment I first met them as husband and wife.

IMG_1681Paco at the airport returning back to H-Town. You can see it in his face. ‘Damnit Summer don’t you dare post this picture to Facebook!” She did anyway.

IMG_1680I bet she is happy that the last picture posted of her was a good one and not one of her feeding cows or something like that. LV Bag – Check, Floppy Hat – Check, Gold watch and Big Sunglasses – Check. Rocking the little Black dress and the cans are on point – Check

IMG_1678Summer and Jim came into town for her birthday, we had lunch at the Rendezvous and spent the afternoon laughing over beers and ribs.

So there it is folks. Again, I would appreciate no comments because this isn’t about me but about a great couple. For those that had the pleasure of knowing Jim & Summer I have seen some great tributes about their lives, they will be forever missed. If you never got a chance to meet them I can tell you that you missed a great couple. Apart they were fun people, but together they were a great couple who could move mountains and leave you wanting more. To close this out I quote the late Summer Seiben Austin who would say after the bar or food tab was paid; “And now we dance!”

Cool runnings my friends, I will see you one of these days on the other side.