“You trying to patronize me boy?”

Before you think I just made some pseudo racist comment cool your jets. Go watch “Midnight in the Garden of Good and Evil” and watch the cemetery scene again. Recall when Minerva calls out John Kelso because that is what I am referring to. Anyway since I have changed work locations and am now in the UES I have a ‘slightly’ different crowd or fan base. When I say ‘slightly’ here is what my buddies at Wikipedia have to say about the UES.

The Upper East Side, sometimes abbreviated as UES, is a neighborhood in the borough of Manhattan in New York City, between Central Park/Fifth Avenue, 59th Street, the East River, and 96th Street.[1] The area incorporates several smaller neighborhoods, including Lenox Hill, Carnegie Hill, and Yorkville. Once known as the Silk Stocking District,[2] it is now one of the most affluent neighborhoods in New York City.”

Now before you start in with the ‘affluent’ part understand that it is also now the cheapest neighborhood to live in when you look at Manhattan as a whole. The West Village is the priciest neighborhood to live in according to the stuff that I see on Twitter. We like living up here, you have the old ‘blue bloods’ (aka Chickasaw & Memphis Country Club) group who are not ostentatious one bit. Then you have on the other side which is the mid 30’s to 40’s who frequent the bars that  have cheap beer to entice crowds for happy hour. *looking in mirror as I type that* I love the older group of UES’rs. They meander from wine bar to wine bar during the week and then come weekend they are headed down in black car service to the Wall Street Heliport for a jaunt to Montauk or the Gold Coast of Connecticut. I recall the one weekend last year when Mrs. CBT was in Key West.

Joey Pots – “Hey Kid, I hear your wife is out of town this weekend. We have been busting your balls pretty hard this year about college football. We have an extra ticket to the Harvard/Yale game tomorrow, you want to go?”
Me – “Thanks Joey, she gets home at 9:30 so I need to be back by then, how are we getting to the game, renting a car?” *these guys have car services bring them to the Cigar Inn*
JP – “Kid we rented one of those Uber Helicopter from Wall Street, you would be in for 1/6th of the fare and whatever you want to drink and eat.”
Me – *doing quick hard math in my head thinking that this could easily be 2 trips to Belize in cost* “Joey, thank you for the invite but I need to do some work Saturday morning and I need to on my best behavior.”
JP – “No problem kid, you are always welcome.”

That’s what I love about the UES, all are welcome and there isn’t any stereotypes, well except for the presidential candidates, that shit is about to GO DOWN!  They don’t look any different at us and once you figure out that they are just older beer drinkers (with much better budgets) I mean who doesn’t love them?

Ok, on to the Title of this dribble.

Last week I met with my new boss and a client who was a high end Toilet Plunger maker *not her real profession, I have 2 teammates who may read this worthless dribble and there is a fine line between work CBT & Blogger CBT * and she wants to get her store on the double decker tour. We are having lunch and discussing her business and she stops in mid sentence and these words will stay in my head for a long time.

Client – “It really bothers me that you call me mam, it makes me feel like you are patronizing me.”
Me – “Agatha, I do apologize but I promise that I do not mean any disrespect nor am I patronizing you. I was raised Italian Catholic where if you didn’t end an answer with Sir or Mam you got smacked. The Dominican Nuns helped beat that into me followed by the Christian Brothers who ended it with an exclamation point!”
Client – “Where are you from, CBT?”
Me – “I am from Memphis, TN.”
Client – “You were raised in the South? We are good, I have spent time in Louisiana and got plenty of Mam’s down there.”

We finish up and my boss and I are walking back to the office;

Boss – “You really can’t turn the southern manners off can you?”
Me – “No Mam”
Boss – “You do know that you may get some grief and crap from some of the clients in the UES don’t you?”
Me – “Oh I realize that, but if my accent doesn’t give me away then it will be when I say Mam or Sir. If it bothers them that much then I can always give them the ‘bless your heart’ comment.
Boss – “That isn’t a good comment is it?”
Me – “In the south we don’t like to tell someone to their face to Go Feck Themselves.”
Boss – “You will do fine up there”

d10e57a59c264567b2615268faddcbd8Rules to live by. Of course I learned another rule by making your bed in college thanks to living at a Fraternity house on 618 West Maple Street.

Have a good day and if you were raised catholic like I was then I dare you to call your parents and not throw in a “Sir” or “Mam” when you speak to them. I bet you will get lectured or if you are in front of them you may get smacked by the ‘spanking spoon’


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