Month: October 2016

Where Does A New Yorker Go To Watch The World Series?

*Fade In
Coleman Towner on First Avenue in the Upper East Side of Manhattan
Paul (Doorman and lifelong New York Mets Fan) – “So where you going Carbunkle and Mrs. Carbunkle?
CBT – “We are going to watch the World Series Paul.” *rolling a carry-on bag behind him
Paul – “Why the luggage and why are you leaving so early to go watch the World Series? The Game doesn’t start till 8PM.”
CBT – “Why Paul, we aren’t heading to Baker Street or Iggy’s Sports Bar, we are flying to Chicago this morning. I have waited for this day since 1984. I can’t not be there if the Cubs Win this thing.”
Paul – “Win it all! You know what they say that the best thing that came out of Cleveland was I-90!”

And with that our asses are heading to Chicago for Games 4 & 5 of the World Series. Now, cool your jets, we don’t have tickets (yet) we just have to be there. But before I get ahead of myself let me back up and give a proper back story.

Back when I was growing up on the mean streets of East Memphis I had to stay home during the summers. It was hell, I tell you. I had NO remote, my cable box was one of those slide things. *editor’s note – the dirty channels were on the far right* and during the day you had two choices for sports during the day. Turner Sports Network, you got to watch the Atlanta Braves or with WGN you had the Chicago Cubs. For some reason, I found myself watching the Cubs because (please understand I was 13 at the time) I loved watching and listening to some guys named Harry Carey and his sidekick Steve Stone.

ngbbs4a653d74de738For those who don’t know what I am talking about.

In 1984 I got my first chance to see Wrigley Field. They really should put holy water stoups by the gates when you walk into Wrigley. Yes, I am now typing in shorter sentences. I want you to understand something very serious. That is when you walk into Wrigley it really is a religious experience.  I was 14 years old and really didn’t understand the game but during the 7th inning stretch it happened. Harry Carrey came out of his booth and leaned over and sang “Take me out to the Ball game.” I recall thinking in my pubescent mind, other than I could almost see that woman’s boob a row in front of me, was that I have to follow these bastards. I respect that over half of my readers weren’t born in 1984 but it’s cool. I am 46 years old and tomorrow we are heading to Chicago to see a religious experience.

ec101fd5bb00e5f150b75ece46a47b03Hey Hey! Let me Hear You! A One, a Two, a Three….Take Me out to the Ballgame….

Now let’s talk about the lovable losers (I hate that term btw) that are Cubs fans. Ever since the invention of Social Media all Cubs fans can relate to each other. All it takes is a tweet, comment on Facebook, Instagram post that Cubs fans can say “hey, I never met them but they are ok, they love the Cubs. If I tried right now to list all of the Cubs fans that I have met on Social Media but not in real life…. that list would be large. Hell, I sold my effin Jeep to a guy that he and his wife named their first child Theo! By the way, they also will be in Chicago this weekend but have to leave before game 4 has its first pitch.

Ok, enough words. To the Cub Haters that I have known for many, many years – Next Year is here! It’s time to hoist a banner! 

img_2513Shout out to Baby Fine Hair, She sent this to me and I do appreciate it but I can’t wait to burn this fucker on First Ave after the Cubs win the World Series

But should the Cubs win out on Sunday, please don’t judge me if you see tears streaming down my face…. They won one for Harry, and Ernie, and Don, and many, many more. #FlytheW  

353785331_3ceecf2a86_bShout out to all you Cardinal Fans, let me know where I can watch your team in October…Oh wait….yeah that’s awkward! Can you tell me all about your pennants again.  Please I live in New York I could ask the same to the Yankee Fans…

curse-of-the-goat“Have I heard about the Goat?” The Goat Story. Fuck the Goat. I can go up 3 subway stops and have Goat in a Pita. We got this! John Adams, you got me! I can’t wait to hug your face when we got this!

harry-and-billDisclaimer – I didn’t know that Bill Murray, John Cusack and Vince Vaughn and others would bandstand on my glory. It’s ok boys we shall hoist a drink on Sunday.

ceannmivaaa5wb_Harry – “Way Back, It could, It would, It may….”
Steve Stone – “Pop out to Grace *first baseman* Hey Harry, have you had any cold Budweiser’s today?”
Harry – “Hey Hey!”

bathroom-troughtsBoys Bathroom inside the bowels of Wrigley. Who hasn’t released the Kracken?

Lets Go Cubs, Let’s Go!

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The Return to Loser’s Lounge

Back when we used to vacation in New York to see our Consigliore and friends we would try to always make the trip during Christmas. One year before our trip Maria mentioned that we should go see “The Losers Lounge” show in the legendary nightclub Fez below Time Café in NoHo. Not really knowing what “Losers Lounge” was about we said sure and she booked us some seats for their upcoming show.

Losers Lounge started back in 1993 by Joe McGinty who was the former keyboard for the Psychedelic Furs and session musician for bands like the Ramones. He put together a group of musicians who played in various bands in New York and abroad. Each show they do a Tribute to a band or musician that have included; Talking Heads, Burt Bacharach, Neil Diamond, David Bowie, Dusty Springfield, John Lennon, Elvis Costello, The Smiths vs The Cure, Queen, Roxy Music, Sony & Cher, Stevie Wonder, Rod Stewart and even Sesame Street. The show that we were to see was Losers Lounge Tribute to Sir Elton John.

I can’t recall all of the songs they played that night but it was unbelievable. There must have been 20 musicians on the stage at one time and some of the singers were really good or in the case of the song “Rocket Man” really bad but in a good way. We were hooked on it and had a blast. The next year before our trip we asked Maria if Losers Lounge was doing another tribute and she said that she wasn’t too keen on it but if we wanted to go to it she would get some tickets. The tribute was to Todd Rundgren and we were pumped! Yes, they played the infamous “Bang on your drum” and it brought down the house. To our surprise we were seated next to Liv Tyler for the show and again the show was killer.

About 2 months ago Maria texted us saying that she just got the notification that Losers Lounge was to do another tribute and this one would be to the late great artist “Prince”. We told her to get us some tickets so a table was reserved at Joe’s Pub at The Public Theater the new home to all Losers Lounge shows. Mrs. Trumpet was out of pocket this past weekend and since we only had 1 extra ticket we couldn’t find a third so it was just Maria and I for the 9:30 show on Saturday night.

The plan was to meet up at and have dinner at The Public Theater and a couple drinks prior to the show. Dinner was great and we took our places inside Joe’s Pub which is a quaint (yes I just used that to describe a music venue) small arena that probably holds 250. They print out the set list and they had 25 songs on the bill that night with one intermission. I am sorry but there really is no way to describe what we saw and heard. It was hilarious and really good. Some songs were good and some were bad but in a “I can’t believe that they did the song that way”! Next were the outfits. One singer belted out “The Beautiful Ones” in a sliver sequined robe that still haunts me 2 days after. When all said and done they played for 3 hours and we decided to book the December show. In December Losers Lounge will tribute to SIR ELTON JOHN again! God I hope the same guy who played Rocket Man is back. It still puts a smile on my face.

losers-prince-set-listThe Set List for Saturday’s show

 

img_2478My iFoam sucks in club setting but the stage is pretty small but they pack it out.

img_2489Erotic City as sung by Ereni Sevasti

img_2482Yeah, I get it my foam sucks taking pictures.

img_2486Joe McGinty aka the Doctor on Keyboar1ds

img_2493I have to step up my Smoking Jacket and Flower Lapel Pin game

losers-band-photo-2-heroHere is the full group that I nipped off the internet.

Again, it was a great time and we are excited to see Elton!

 

 

 

 

Dive Bar Sunday – Milano’s Bar NYC

It has been a long summer and now that the Seersucker suit has been put away it is time to get back to our old shenanigans and enjoy the fruits of the city. You have heard me speak of having “A guy” and how vital it is. Back in Memphis, one didn’t need to have “a guy” you managed on your own or sought advice from friends and family. Up here, well you need “a guy” and depending on what you were doing you may need many of them.
Case in point my boy JM or Joey Pearl Jam, not only does he have a “a guy” but he just finished remodeling his house in…..wait for it….New Jersey.  Actually he had many “guys” doing work for him on that project. JM and I were talking a while back about good ole fashioned Dive Bars and that they are a part of Americana. Sadly, they are being replaced daily with either a Chipotle or a gastropub that has a mixologist instead of a bartender.  These are the type of joints that would serve a lemon wedge with tap water and charge you 2 bucks because it is a fancy ionized and desalinated bottled water that ran from gluten free ice caps in Alaska. Don’t me wrong, I have had many a fancy cocktail up here in the 14 months of living here but deep down I am a dive bar fan at heart.
This past Friday I took my boss up to Jimmy’s Corner on W44th and her first comment was “Where did you find this place? I kind of like it! I won’t order a glass of wine here but I dig it!” Oh and shout out to Double Birds and her Husband who were in town last weekend for the wedding of the year. It was great seeing you and having a couple drinks before you got all fancified. 

But I digress, so JM was telling me about a place that is in NoHo that I should try out. Ironically, the bar that he told me about used to be in his family and the name of the bar is the same as his last name. In his words “It is a classic Beer and a Shot type of bar.” I hadn’t even been there and I was in love with it.  Here is the 411 on Milano’s Bar according to an article written about it in Time Out Magazine.
Milano’s has been serving up drinks since 1880  (only stopping during the Prohibition years) and remains one of the last authentically old-school bars in the city. It can be a tight squeeze on crowded nights and the place is definitely no frills when it comes to atmosphere, but the bar’s décor—featuring swinging saloon bathroom doors, a tin ceiling, and a tile floor—is a wonderful break from gimmicks when you just want a drink. Its walls are adorned with old pictures and Yankees Memorabilia. It is the last bastion of Dive Bars in New York.

img_2455Notice all the wires on the left side of the picture? They had like 3 different multi plug adaptors all plugged into one outlet. I am sure it is fine.

img_2454It reminds me of Alex’s Tavern kind of you know? Except for all the Yankees stuff on the walls.

img_2453No need for overhead lights, plenty of Neon and Christmas Tree lights.

img_2452No food is served here but this old menu suggests they did at one time. Who doesn’t want a Veal Cutlet & 2 Vegetables for 30 cents.

img_2451You bet your sweet arse that we had Bud Lights. No fancy beer for us, we are simple folk.

img_2450I take it back, they do serve food here, those chips are fresh I am sure of it!

I will do better on my Dive Bar reporting. Momma gets back from a weekend trip on Sunday at noon so we will be heading on the 6 train to somewhere!

Have a good weekend.

 

Does yelling “Roll Tide” really mean “I sleep with my cousin?”

Cheap shot but hey, show me a Bama fan who isn’t more obnoxious than a Tennessee fan and I will let you ride my unicorn! Thanks to DD and Martha for putting me up  at the casa de Dewey a couple weeks back. Yes the guest room I slept in was bigger than my apartment, my next door neighbors and 2 more down the hall. It was great to see you and a whole bunch of others.

img_2430Goats, yes those are Goats and that is the residence of the Dean of The Agriculture Department. “DD the only goats I see in NYC are on a spit and roasting by a fire!”

img_2421Great to see my old boss Dean Weber. Oh and DW, you got this! You have put up with more shit than this to knock you down! I will see you in Dallas next year for the A&M game!

img_2427If this was open when I was in college I would have weighed 300 pounds. Granted the 10PM Casa Taco Cheese Dip runs didn’t help my waist line but damnit man!

img_2413Great to see my other boss Dave England and Zim-Bob!

img_2417It still gives give me chills to see this, not to mention to run through it!

img_2414Great to see my friend Pig!

fullsizerender-2Sorry, cheap shot to the Ole Miss fans but hey, I got to take every win where I can!

Great to see everyone and thanks for the hospitality.

 

Congrats to ABG and Kato!

 My apologies because this was to have been posted 2 weeks ago but a bad home wireless junction box and my travels prevented this post from being published. You probably have heard me make mention or seen posts about my exploits as a Carnie. To describe it to someone who never has experienced this type of event work it probably could said best by my old boss Jack D. “It is the best of times and it is the worst of times, all at the same time!” You learn a lot about yourself and those who you work with when you are sleep deprived, stressed to a breaking point, sunburned and in need of a shower. Sometimes you are thankful that it is raining so that “you can’t tell if those are tears streaming down your face or just rain.” 
I had ‘gone into battle’ with the above named 4 times when I was living in Memphis. It was the first year of doing a corporate sponsorship at WCBCC that we were finishing up on Saturday night when it dawned on me something was up. They wanted to stay in the park to go have a drink in a neighboring BBQ tent instead of leaving with the group and ride on the golf cart to our cars. One of the employees asked why they wanted to stay in the park considering we logged 80 hours in 5 days. I remarked “Dude you didn’t see it after being in the park for 4 nights? They are in love.” Needless to say, he didn’t think that I figured it out that quickly. I told that employee that when you put that much stress on a person you can a lot of mannerisms that normally are guarded. That and I caught them kissy facing each other in the trailer one morning.  
I have known AB and Kato for a while and I love them both to death. Sure, there were sometimes we didn’t see eye to eye on occasion but we kissed and made up, carnie love makes one do that. That and if Kato ever screws it up, I know “a guy” and one phone call is all it takes! I do kid. Congrats on your marriage and new life in Eastern TN. Don’t be a stranger and you are always welcome up here in NYC anytime you want. Kato just to let you know; you can’t drive the put-put dirt bike up here so you will have to fly up here instead.

292266_10150899893804928_305584740_nI took them into Tom Lee Park as Children and they emerged Carnies! God I am bloated!

amandaAmanda, you need to make it look pretty. If Kato and I do the display it will look like shit!

975414_10151744259864928_1108921178_nKato – “Why don’t you spray Robo with Sunscreen too?”
CBT – “Dude she is your girlfriend, and I have my ridiculous floppy hat!”

1239490_10203733925817175_3954891357311362098_nI think this was before the storms set in and a chill came over Tom Lee Park. It has to be early in the week, we were still smiling!

yepI bet you sent Trip and invite to the wedding didn’t you?

img_2461Oh and Amanda, I still have the video from WCBCC12 at Bar 595!

Love you both!

Tucker’s 50th Anniversary of circling the sun

One of the MoHo’s turned 50 this past summer so a bunch of us headed up to Beantown to see her, some guy named Big Papi and drink a couple Sam Adams beers. It was a good trip. Rather than pretend we didn’t pretty much eat and drink our faces off I will give you the pictures that are PG-13

img_2363Inside Cheers the Bar in Boston

img_2368Oldest Bar in Boston and Sarah

img_2366You got to get a picture of the sign, that is like going to Memphis and not getting a picture of the Grave.

img_2349The Sausage Guy sells exclusively in Fenway Park

img_2354Little Bit Rainy and Cold at Friday’s game

img_2356The Green Monster and the John Hancock Scoreboard. The stadium is very small and reminds me of Wrigley!

img_2357Kathy and Shobo

img_2383Me and Baby Fine Hair!

img_2372It was good to have Scott there to offset the hormones that were a flowing!

img_2379Are we a tad dehydrated?

img_2392Had to get me a Lobster Roll!

img_2373And here is when it went off the rails! Happy Birthday Tucker! We Love Ya!

We will be back to Beantown! Fun times!

 

CBT’s take on Airtravel “WTCBF is wrong with people?”

It has been a tough month of travel for yours truly. It started 4 weeks back when I made my trip back to Memphis for work and to also check on my renter in our condo downtown. I was there all week and ventured back to Gotham very late Thursday evening/early Friday morning. My hats off to those who do it week after week for their work. The next 2 following weeks I made consecutive trips to Boston and then to Fayetteville. Each of those trips I would venture to airport on Friday afternoon to return home Sunday evening. These trips were fun but each Monday I would start the week exhausted and in need of sleep and was mentally drained. And lets don’t even talk about the amount of beer and booze that I put into my body those weekends too! But that isn’t what this is about. It is about the Asshats who travel with you in the plane.

I have always considered myself a very well behaved air traveler. I was raised that when you travel you always dressed up and sitting in the back of the plane where the smoking section was located was the best place to get cokes and booze. *age check on those readers who know what I am talking about* I still to this day always put on a nice pair of slacks and jacket for a couple of reasons. First is that with me wearing a jacket I have a place to put all my shit. Secondly is if they are going to bump someone up to first class it might as well be the guy who looks the part and not sweat pants and wife beater dude.  I won’t say that people don’t give a shit anymore but have you seen some of the outfits people wear on planes now? Seriously, have people lost their moral compass or do they just not give a shit anymore? But I digress

So here is where I lose my shit each and every time I travel. Oh and don’t think that I am just being the Angry New Yorkers because Mrs. Trumpet gets equally steamed at this. Here is what get’s us frothy and want to punch people in the throat;
“Good Morning and welcome to flight 345 with service to BFE. In a few minutes we will be begin boarding but at this time we will allow any passengers who need a few extra minutes to please board now.” It is at this time that the entire gate area stands the Fuck Up and bottlenecks the gate. Have you seen this? I am sure that you have…..Everyone has and it drives me absolutely crazy.

At first I thought it was just a pet peeve of Mrs. Trumpet and myself but on a trip back from Orlando I was with my buddy SM. The same announcement occurs and I overhear SM gruff under his breath. I look at him and ask “Oh that pisses you off too?” Yep, ole SM gets as equally pissed off as I do but here is where he and I differ and it is a beautiful thing. When SM’s group number was called I notice that SM would walk through each and every small cluster of people who are jamming up the line to the gate. He would say loudly “Oh I am sorry, I was doing as I was told. I was waiting until my zone was called and didn’t clog the entrance like you are doing!” Needless to say, I am a now one of “Those Guys” because I also am doing that. I encourage everyone who travels frequently to do this. Maybe we can break those uncouth Fecks!

img_2396I wish I had one of those Jazzy scooters because I would plow into these Fecks!

img_2394Notice dude by the trash can? He was like me and plowed into the crowd when our zone was called. I may be starting a revolution!

img_2313Yes that is a book on his head, You are about to get punched in the throat. Yes I am sitting in the chair waiting till my zone was called.

img_2410Nice Hair dude, I see your son has the same barber.

Don’t do it folks! don’t block the gate when you fly with CBT!