Month: November 2016

What we do on the Weekends

Sorry about getting sidetracked, we had the 4 day holiday weekend and getting back into the swing of things can be hard. So when I last left you I was telling my 6 readers about  What we do Monday – Friday. Yep we live the cutting edge lifestyle up here on this island I tell you. Sadly the weekend isn’t all “Eyes Wide Shut” parties or big expensive dinners at fancy Michelin 3 star restaurants (well….check back after December 17th) and endless champagne brunches.

Don’t get me wrong, we aren’t sitting on the couch in our flannel PJ’s watching Lifetime movies eating frosting from the can. *Not that there is anything wrong with it mind you* The weekends are more relax, take it easy, get some ish done, spend time with our friends who we don’t see as much as we should, and in Momma’s case get a little studying done. Typically a Saturday goes like this;

  • Dry cleaning dropped off, run to a store that carries X that can’t be purchased via Amazon, or the interweb.
  • Breakfast for me consists of a Salt Bagel with Bacon Cream Cheese (why do you think I take Lipitor) and watch all the dad’s pushing the strollers down the street so that their respective wives can take a break.
  • I am sure that I will make a trip to the Cigar Inn at least once during the weekend.
  • Errands for the Monkey Heads if needed (wash and cut with our favorite Willie Nelson music loving Russian Groomer)
  • Typically we try to go see/do something new in the city.
  • If we have a dinner or drinks planned with someone I am sure a nap may be needed. It is after all rude to yawn at the dinner table.
  • We make it a point to have either drinks or dinner with our friends to catch up. Like I have said many times before. It is different here in New York as compared to Memphis in that spontaneous get together’s are not as common here.

Sunday’s are typically a repeat of Saturday but with the exception of that we may do a little bit of Sunday Funday at a Dive Bar. This hasn’t been done in a while because we have been busy but there is always this weekend. A lot of this depends on Mrs. Trumpet’s studying and how many naps she got in on Saturday. Yeah I probably am going to get some crap for that comment but she doesn’t read this worthless dribble anyway.

So sorry to disappoint our readers but we kinda live boring lives. Well with the exception that we could visit a different bar each day of the week and never hit a repeat. That doesn’t suck at all.

IMG_1777It really doesn’t look like an island till you are on the water

IMG_1528My dress shirts and suits take a beating up here, I tell you!

IMG_1564I liked Marissa at first because she didn’t charge 300+ for a trim and wash. The Willie Nelson Fan is a bonus I tell you!

kitchenThere is nothing better than talking about ‘little people’ at the dinner table while eating white truffle risotto right Meg?

IMG_0881I could fill up an entire page of dive bar pics but I will only choose one. This one is one of my favorite joints.

IMG_0409No Katie, I won’t send you any Bagels, bring yo arse up here and get your own.

Have a good day. I am off to stand on line to watch them light up the tree in Rockefeller Plaza tonight. Look for me!


Miracle on 93rd Street

You have all read about “The Asian Fireman” in various entries for the past year and 3 months on this worthless dribble of a blog. We give Jim a lot of grief as much as he dishes it out to us. He and his family are great friends of ours.  We all try to spend as much time together as one can but with 4 careers and their 2 young children it can be tough. This past Thursday we sat down for Thanksgiving dinner. We all agreed that we have a lot to be thankful this holiday season. Although I have a strict writing rule to never divulge anyone’s real name or their real profession, I am going to break the rule today.

Jim is a New York City Fireman and he works for a specialized NYFD team here in Manhattan. About a month ago in the early hours a fire broke out in an apartment building here in the Upper East Side. It wasn’t a pretty sight. I am not up on the “lingo” but it turned into a 6 alarm fire and over 200 firemen were battling this 5 story building fire. Mr. Duffy was an 81 year old resident of that building and he was trapped in his apartment. There really wasn’t a good way to get him out of there. He was stuck between a rock and a hard place and the only way to get him out of was a dangerous rope rescue. What happened next is what I now understand is considered a “last ditch effort.”

With the help of other firemen who had never worked together they lowered my friend Jim from the roof to Mr. Duffy’ apartment by a rope. I am going to let you watch and read the CNN link because I won’t give it the justice it deserves.

Go ahead and watch the Link, I can wait here…..

Pretty amazing eh?

We really never ‘talk shop’ at the dinner table but according to Jim, in so many words, Mr. Duffy said he was down to his last seconds of his life. Not minutes…..seconds.  Thankfully Mr. Duffy is getting better each day but when he leaves the rehab center he will have to start all over. All of the residents who used to live in that building are also starting over.

So as we begin this holiday season I would ask that you to give a couple dollars to help some complete strangers start over. I am fairly sure that all 6 of my readers have much to be thankful for this holiday season. It just makes me feel good to know that a good friend of mine along with 7 other firemen were able to help a complete stranger live to see another day. Along with your help we can make the holidays brighter for 20 people.

You can visit this link and donate. Rather than a ‘go fund me’ where the recipients would have to pay taxes on the money I have been told it isn’t the case here.

kidsdonate2The Asian Fireman and Mr. Duffy on Thanksgiving Day.

Happy Holidays

What we do Monday – Friday

I get asked about once a week from people wanting to know if our lifestyle is similar to a “Sex in the City” or “American Psycho” in that we are work crazy hours and then party all night Monday through Friday like it is our job. Sorry to disappoint some of you but nope, it has been quite a long time since we partied till the wee hours in the morning and then made it into work still inebriated….well there was the day after the Cubs winning the World Series Thursday. But I digress, so here in 7 paragraphs or less is what we do in a normal work week.

Monday thru Friday is pretty much get out of bed by 6AM, shower, dogs walked, get out and sell those double decker bus tickets. For Mrs. Trumpet, it is get up at 7 and then she has that shitty commute to the office….all 2 minutes of it. She normally is home by 5sih so we both keep normal hours. On Monday mornings I head into the mid 40’s to one of the satellite offices to take a conference call, get my week organized, and to steal some office supplies. Monday’s are a day that a lot of my coworkers do admin work at home all day and get ready for the week. Eff that if I stayed at home I would still be in my PJ’s so I get my big ass out and get some ish done.

On my way to my territory on Mondays I always swing by St. Patrick’s cathedral on 5th Ave. Even though this isn’t my parish church I consider it close enough. If you have never visited St. Patrick’s Cathedral along the walls in the main sanctuary are individual Saint’s alters or grottos. I make it a point to light a candle at my favorite big 3 alters; St. John Baptist de la Salle, St. Anthony of Padua, and St. Jude the Apostle. I would not categorize myself as an overly religious person but I am a firm believer of Karma and keeping a positive outlook or spirit. I will and always will be respectful of different religions. I believe that you become a better person by opening up yourself to someone while they explain their beliefs to you. Yep, I am getting pretty deep here. Ok, let me pull back some.

During the week, we pretty much come home each night after work, have dinner and chill at our apartment. Tuesday’s momma has class so I get the dog sitter to swing by to walk the monkey heads  (best 25 bucks we spend a week) so I can head over to the Cigar Inn for some early evening ball busting. Other than that, we are homebodies, cook our food delivery meals (Blue Apron, Marley Spoon, or Hello Fresh) and we may go out one night for happy hour.

*This past week was somewhat of an exception. Wednesday night we went to a fundraiser gathering for our work’s designated charity. Big deal you are probably saying, right? Well our fundraiser was a happy hour at a Karaoke Bar in Koreatown!  Sorry  Professor Paul, you can take the guy out of Memphis but you can’t take the Karaoke out of the New Yorker! It does say a lot when you can laugh at someone other than yourself when they try to sing “Puff the Magic Dragon” personally I know that I slayed “Suspicious Minds”.

*Thursday was a simple lunch with clients. We, my international counterpart and I, invited another international rep to join us with our two eye-talian customers. Lunch was great, we handled the objectives, and we got to hang with the owner of AS Monaco FC. *Full Disclosure* The international counterpart (who also is southern, THANK GOD) and I didn’t have a clue who the owner was so we got a pass. But let me tell you, if it were Danny Ford, Steve Spurrier, or Lou Holtz, we would have been all over that.

Fridays are normally reserved for follow up calls, prospecting and finish up the admin work.  Let me tell you, there is nothing worse than having to work on the weekend. *Yes I am looking at you SS, ML, & LZ* Momma and I have a strict rule that we have always adhered to since we moved up here. That rule is simple; If you have to work on the weekend it is fine and acceptable but if yo ass has to work on Sunday-Funday well it better be Effing Huge and Tax Bracket Moving Worthy!!!!

I am sorry but Sundays are for friends and family, I learned that from my visits to Belize many times. I think back to the best times I ever had on San Pedro and it was always with my family and my Belizean sister, Florita, and her family on a Sunday.

st-anthonySt. Anthony’s Alter at St. Patrick’s

Saint Patrick's Cathedral In New York CitySt John Baptist de la Salle’s Alter

st-judeSt Jude’s alter at St. Patrick

1915126_97882114927_1293089_nMy Belizean Sister Florita who now ironically lives in Denver – She looks great as she always does. Me – Who is that fat boated gringo?

st-patricksEntrance at St. Patrick’s Cathedral

Anyway, that is what we do in a week. This upcoming week is going to be a short one so we will be busy from the start. The next weekend, hell I get to put on a monkey suit and go hang out at the Waldorf Astoria.

*These were exceptions for the week.


I can’t believe I am about to say this….

I miss humidity. You heard it here first folks, the guy who orders Goldbond by the pallet misses swamp ass humidity. Before you start to put me on your prayer list let me explain myself. In the winter (well we should be in winter, it is after all November 18th) it gets very dry here. So dry that Mrs. Trumpet and I are prone to getting nosebleeds, dry ass skin and our sinuses go into hyper drive. Add to that, you should see what all I am having to do to keep my cigar humidor regulated. It is hell I tell you!

Another thing that I am missing and wish we had is a consistent temperature base. Two weeks ago it was ball shrinking cold, this week I almost hit 70. This weekend break out the puffy coats because it is going to be chilly. No wonder everyone is sick in this town. About twice a month I have to head to the local CVS and go to the pharmacy for pills. The exchange is something like this;

Me – “I need the 96 count of Sudafed please.”
Pharmacist – “I am going to need to see your id sir.”
Me – “Can’t I just show you that I have teeth and they are white?”

I mean we are constantly having sinus infections here in the UES. Poor momma is battling one now and do you know how hard it is to sleep with her and the white dog when both of them are snoring at top speed and volume? I was supposed to have some dental work done last month to put in a permanent tooth but we had to scrap it because my sinuses were all full of ick. Now I got to go find an ear nose and throat doctor. I ain’t time for that!

So, could we have a little humidity there Mother Nature? I don’t need curl your hair humidity just some. Just give me a little would you?

img_2605My poor cigar humidor, I am battling it every day. The only way I can keep the cigars fresh is by smoking them all. It is hell but what is a guy to do.

img_2598Don’t let the white one fool you. She snores like a freight train.

img_2601At least the trees in the park are changing. 2 weeks ago it was all green.

img_2591The decorating on 5th avenue has already begun

img_2606I hope my cousin who is in town auditioning for Go-Go dancing school brought a coat. She may get chilly walking on the UES. We get to have dinner with her mother on Sunday. At least one of my cousins have come up here. Yes I am looking at you Stephanie & Janna.

Have a good weekend and if you are celebrating Friendsgiving and you have a theme let me know. I was telling someone about it up here and they didn’t understand.


Are you Effin Kidding Me?

Sorry, I had to scrap a blog entry that I was going to publish today for this news that I heard last night. It is in serious negotiations to close a portion of 5th Avenue in front of Trump Tower at 56th street. Come on guys, I get it that he is the president elect and all but to shut down one of the busiest streets in Manhattan? I don’t even drive for Christ Sake but lets be real here folks. Currently you can’t walk on the east side of 5th avenue between 56th and 57th streets (in front of Trump Tower) so do you think the folks at Tiffany & Co are really happy about this? Now we are cutting down a main artery to head south?

Oh well, at least the holidays are coming so we already know that midtown will be gridlocked so what is one more blocked street. Personally I think that we need to do like they do in London. If you car tag has an even number then you can enter London on certain days. Odd tag numbers the other days. This would prevent all those effin Brooklynites who ‘have to drive their car’ into the city…..”Oh wait Maria lives in Brooklyn……Please 9lb 8oz Baby Jesus let this be the one blog entry she doesn’t read.”

Memphis Folk – I realize that you may be wondering what the big deal is. Try closing off Poplar Avenue between Yates to Shady Grove Road. For my Mississippi readers – Shut down Goodman Road

Belize Folk – Close the Bowen Bridge or close the road from Ramon’s to Grief Airport.

Canada Folk – Oh feck it, you already have snow on the ground and you are driving your snow plows.

2013-st-patricks-day-parade-route1They won’t let the Irish march up 5th Avenue on St. Patrick’s Day now. See what you did Asian Fireman….

trump-towerThis was taken 1 week and 1 day prior to today. I included the pic of the President Elect because people are lemmings and will click on anything that has to do with Trump.

Keep it light.



What do Pierce Brosnan, Steve Martin, and Calista Flockhart all have in common?

They all got to see the World Famous Carbukle Trumpet on Madison Avenue this past week.   Last week I was heading uptown on Madison Ave near E63rd and walking past me is a gentlemen wearing a “Late Night” hat. This gentlemen you may wonder is none other than “Mr. Wild & Crazy Guy” Steve Martin in the flesh. We exchange pleasantries, he tells me to make sure momma doesn’t have any snails on her plate of escargot and that’s about it.

Same day and a couple of blocks uptown I see a woman wearing one of those big oversized floppy hats. I probably would have given it much thought but the hat caught my eye. Under the hat behind some ridiculous black sunglasses is Ally McBeale herself. I will be honest, time hasn’t been kind to Calista. I guess her living with Han Solo has taken its toll (she still with Harrison Ford? I don’t subscribe to People magazine anymore) because she looked like she was rode hard and put up wet.

So fast forward to Thursday mid morning. My boss and I just exit a customer’s location on Madison Ave at E70t street and while we chatting this tall fellow in a dark coat walks past us. I look at him and then at my boss and back to him and my boss can see the hamster wheel turning in my head. Thankfully the hampster was on duty and it comes to me; “Holy Sheet! That is the guy who banged Halle Berry, Denise Richards, Jamie Lee Curtis, and Rene ‘Effin’ Russo!” My boss, who is in the same age group as I am, didn’t get a good look at Mr. Crown so we start stalking walking south to catch a look at 007. I yell out one of those “Hey look, it’s a Chicken!” and he turns around. Yep, it was him and I will just tell you that he is aging quite well. I call Mrs. Trumpet to tell her who we see and she was all in a frenzy.

Friday night was the night of Women’s Wine Club so I ran like a little girl to the Cigar Inn. I walk in and naturally am met with my balls being busted. Alex tells me that the “Trump  Room” is in the middle of a staff meeting so I should hurry back to the front room unless I want a cabinet position. I walk to the back and I see a gentlemen wearing a grey pinstripe suit smoking a cigar who vaguely looks familiar. I select my cigar and walk back and glance at the gentlemen again. I think to myself “that guy looks just like XXXX XXXXXXX!” *editors note I was asked by some gentlemen who looked like they could stuff me into a cigar locker to not put on social media that I was sharing a cigar with a former NY mayor and fellow Italian. So I just texted Mrs.Trumpet instead* I guess that my friend wanted a break from all the action at 5th Ave & 57th street.

Anyway it was a good week for Pierce, Calista, Steve and Rudy to see Carbunkle Trumpet. Hope you had a good weekend.

Pictures of the Week – It has been a wild one!

I know that I have been slacking lately but give me a break. Here are some snippets of the past week and weekend. We had the lady killer in town last weekend. Oh and he has a twitter account….but I won’t post it just yet. He better get me that Vince Carter Jersey that I want for Christmas. #justsaying

img_2553J-Bob – Why do I have to stand here?
Me – Shut Up Kid, Cousin AL may go to school here.
J-Bob – But I want to go visit NikeTown…..

fullsizerenderGo Visit the USS Intrepid on the West Side of Manhattan. And you get to see the Enterprise too!

img_2550Yo K-Man!!! (Seinfeld comment)

Side Note – It was mid 50’s that morning…..

img_2552Guess we must be getting near the Marathon. The mailbox locks are in place.

img_2558Early Morning Prior to the Marathon – First Ave

img_2555These dudes were flying by!

img_2568Made it to Hunts Point this week! Hunts Point < South Memphis

img_2565I had to laugh and cry at the same time. This was by 87th and Park near one of the high rises.just wjem

img_2573Just when New York State went Blue on Election night I get this text message from my father.

img_2584Smoked Pastrami and Sausage – I kind of like Long Island City! S/O to Meg C

fullsizerenderI can predict that it will be congested for the next 4 years around 5th & 56th

Have a good weekend. I promise to do better!


Your Chicago Cubs – World Champions

You know how long I have been wanting to type that? I will be honest, I didn’t think it would ever happen. You know how many times I have cursed the Goat, Bartman and some Cardinal Fans? On the Saturday that I went to Losers Lounge I started getting text messages from friends who were watching the game. I texted our good friend AB and asked if we could crash at her house last weekend. She was up for the challenge and we made our way to Chicago. I am going to let the pics do most of the talking but a HUGE shout out to AB for putting us up and it was great to see my favorite Mexican and her husband as well as baby “Jubo.”  I still keep checking the paper to make sure the Cubs are still World Series Champs.

img_2538Flying into O’Hare and you get it that Chicago is pumped for the Cubs.

img_2534Sunday Brunch at Shaw’s Seafood Joint. This place was legit!

img_2529We had to try the Deep Dish. Yeah I know it is corny but it has to be done. Sorta like having a dirty dishwater dog in NYC.

img_2526Saturday wasn’t the greatest day for being a Cubs fan.

img_2533View from AB’s porch. I really want a porch.

fullsizerenderShout out to Seagraves for the text on Sunday morning.

img_2536Decided to change it up on Sunday and went here to watch the game. It helped b/c we won!

buckleyAB & Mrs. CBT at a Chicago drinking establishment.

img_2528Check out the grease board on the fence. Love these guys. 1 block from Wrigley Field.

wrigleyGreat day, Great friends, Great food, shitty score of the game.

img_2527Now I know why Gurleygurl like Jack Daniels.

14907240_10154394735567107_1848897812945533200_nAint’ it pretty? #flytheW

Have a good weekend. We are busy as we have the Nephew and my mother in town this weekend. Lookout Nike Town.


Maya The Monkey Head Takes Over the Blog For Today

Sorry Guys and Gals, I am taking over today’s post because my daddy is passed da Feck out napping this morning because his Cubs won Game 6 and we have Game 7 tonight. He didn’t say much last night but he did mention that he won’t blog about this past weekend because of some streak and a goat bad luck. I was only born 3 years ago, I don’t know what he talks about.


“Let’s Go Cubs” is the last thing he said before he fell into the shower just like RJ used to do.

I hope to do more blogs, this ‘ish’ is kind of fun.

Maya the Monkey Head

Ps Go Cubs Go!!