I can’t believe I am about to say this….

I miss humidity. You heard it here first folks, the guy who orders Goldbond by the pallet misses swamp ass humidity. Before you start to put me on your prayer list let me explain myself. In the winter (well we should be in winter, it is after all November 18th) it gets very dry here. So dry that Mrs. Trumpet and I are prone to getting nosebleeds, dry ass skin and our sinuses go into hyper drive. Add to that, you should see what all I am having to do to keep my cigar humidor regulated. It is hell I tell you!

Another thing that I am missing and wish we had is a consistent temperature base. Two weeks ago it was ball shrinking cold, this week I almost hit 70. This weekend break out the puffy coats because it is going to be chilly. No wonder everyone is sick in this town. About twice a month I have to head to the local CVS and go to the pharmacy for pills. The exchange is something like this;

Me – “I need the 96 count of Sudafed please.”
Pharmacist – “I am going to need to see your id sir.”
Me – “Can’t I just show you that I have teeth and they are white?”

I mean we are constantly having sinus infections here in the UES. Poor momma is battling one now and do you know how hard it is to sleep with her and the white dog when both of them are snoring at top speed and volume? I was supposed to have some dental work done last month to put in a permanent tooth but we had to scrap it because my sinuses were all full of ick. Now I got to go find an ear nose and throat doctor. I ain’t time for that!

So, could we have a little humidity there Mother Nature? I don’t need curl your hair humidity just some. Just give me a little would you?

img_2605My poor cigar humidor, I am battling it every day. The only way I can keep the cigars fresh is by smoking them all. It is hell but what is a guy to do.

img_2598Don’t let the white one fool you. She snores like a freight train.

img_2601At least the trees in the park are changing. 2 weeks ago it was all green.

img_2591The decorating on 5th avenue has already begun

img_2606I hope my cousin who is in town auditioning for Go-Go dancing school brought a coat. She may get chilly walking on the UES. We get to have dinner with her mother on Sunday. At least one of my cousins have come up here. Yes I am looking at you Stephanie & Janna.

Have a good weekend and if you are celebrating Friendsgiving and you have a theme let me know. I was telling someone about it up here and they didn’t understand.




  1. Quit yer Bitchin! Ya had a chance to go to that crummy little Island BUT NO!!! Seriously Buddy we had you there in spirit. Hope you and the smokin hot wife get better soon.


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