Month: December 2016

PSA from CBT – New Year’s Day Food for the Residents of the Northeast

Well it finally happened today. Actually it happened yesterday but since today is New Years Eve we are busy heading down to Times Square. Why you ask? We are heading to get into one of the Corrals to watch the ball drop. Anyway on Friday I was sitting in my corner office overlooking Wall Street having a discussion with one of my fellow ticket sellers about what we were doing New Years eve. This other ticket seller was telling me that she was going to have a house party with her friends. Because I am a fat kid at heart we went over the menu that she was to serve. One of the dishes that she mentioned was “Pigs n the Blanket” and immediately my ears perked up.

I asked her if she was going to have any other ‘Southern Food’ but that was pretty much it. What she was missing on the menu were the staple dishes that are served by Proper Southerners on New Years day. I asked her if she was to have Black Eyed Peas, Cabbage, Greens and I get the blank “hamster is dead” look. I try to explain to my Northeast friend the importance of these staples on New Years day and it is not sinking in. *YO RZ aka Savanah Rae’s Momma  – What the hell did you do when you lived here? Do I have to educate all these Yankees on my own?*

I  get done with my explanation of these foods and my friend tells me that she is going to have grilled cheese sandwiches with tomato bisque. I asked if she was going to have Pimento Cheese as an option and you guessed it – Negative! I start to explain what Pimento Cheese is and she interrupts me saying she has seen it in the grocery store in Southern Jersey when she goes to the shore. I tell her that no self respecting southerner would ever serve store bought pimento cheese and get on the horn with Mrs. Trumpet. I ask Mrs. Trumpet to please send me Iuka Mississippi’s world famous Pimento Cheese recipe that we have. Like a good wife because she realizes that I am the boss of her, obliges.

Now I can’t bust TG’s chops too bad here, she isn’t the only one who has never heard of Pimento Cheese. My Tiffany’s Shopping buddy LZ also never heard of Pimento Cheese either. *Hey West Side Girl – You do have the UWS speaking southern right?* I forward the menu over to my New Jersey friend and inform her that this pimento cheese will be best if it sits overnight. I do hope that her guests enjoy some South in Yo Mouth courtesy of Ashley who hailed from Iuka Mississippi!!!!

dacusHey AB – We need to hang with you because I think that I have used this pic of you now 3 times.  Love ya and Happy New Year!

peas-and-ham-450x337Not so much the ham steak will be on our plate but you get the idea.

img_0120-1Kiss My Ass if you think I am going to post this full recipe! It is worth it’s weight in gold I tell you!

Happy New Year to all my friends!


Merry New Year

Apologies to my 7 readers (picked one up in Russia) as I have been busy since returning from Memphis. Most of you know I do a lot of my blabbering posts on the weekend and then upload them during the week. I just never had any time this past weekend. I have some time this weekend while I am waiting in the coral in Times Square tomorrow so I plan on getting with it. Here are some ideas I have going on in my head;

  • 2016 the year in review: the good, the bad, the ugly
  • Christmas with a 12 year old.
  • Sandra M’effin Bernhardt at Joe’s Pub
  • Love the readers
  • What is going on in 2017

Till then, be safe and Happy New Year and last couple days of Hanukkah to everyone.

Carbunkle Trumpet

Pictures of the Week on a Thursday

Here are pics from this past week in no particular order. Yes this is normally on Friday but I am moving up production a day earlier. Friday we are busy and there may not be a post.

img_0055There is where the Magic happens on the 3rd floor of the Time Warner Building

img_0046Ironically also on the 3rd floor of the Time Warner Building is Chef and Owner Masayoshi “Masa” Takayama’s Masa. This is considered the best Sushi in the world.

img_0049Cappuccino and Donuts and no this wasn’t from Duncan Donuts either.

img_0058Again, great evening spent with great friends. Apologies to the Lady Barrister who when I posted it to my Instagram page, it cropped her out. I since took it down after I realized my error.

img_0057“You know what I like to do? I like to go have an fine meal and then follow it up with drinking a bunch of Bud Lights!” Mr. 3 First Name

img_0005Who knew there was such a need and even a company here in NYC. I am told that some mannequins are worth over 10K

img_2222She survived her first semester of NYU and is hoping to get initiated in her sorority the first week back in the spring semester.

Have a good day!

You may be a Nobel Laureate but can you take the top of an egg off clean?

If you have lived south of the Mason Dixon line for any amount of time you probably have heard of the expression; “Well if you have gone to the trouble.” This saying rings very true anytime that I go to a restaurant that has on the menu a dish that is a pain in the ass to make, prepare and repeat consistently. Don’t know what I am talking about? Go ahead and make yourself a Soufflé and serve that sucker before it dies. The dishes that I am always in awe of may include; lamb chops that have been Frenched from the bone and served at the perfect temperature. Have you ever served a Turducken or had one that was overcooked? Ever get tennis elbow from whipping Béarnaise Sauce? How many of you have almost burned down the house making a Baked Alaska dessert?  To me, the hardest would be to serve Beef Wellington and not overcook the damned thing.

One dish that should be added to this list is Thomas Keller’s award winning French Laundry’s  Amuse-Bouche of White Truffle Oil-Infused Custard with a Black Truffle Ragout. *Oh wait did I just lose you? Let me back up. First WTCBF is an Amuse Bouche?

An amusebouche [aˌmyzˈbuʃ] (plural amusebouches) or amuse-gueule [aˌmyzˈɡœl] is a single, bite-sized hors d’œuvre. Amusebouches are different from appetizers in that they are not ordered from a menu by patrons, but are served gratis and according to the chef’s selection alone.

Now that we have determined what an Amuse-Bouche is, I am sure that there are a couple of you who wondering who hell Thomas Keller is and why is he doing laundry for the French? Ok, that was a little bit funny. Anyway here is a proper back story on Keller’s joint called Per Se that is on the West Side of town. On the menu that the kitchen serves is a very simple and very French dish of Egg Custard with a Black Truffle Ragout. It is served in the same egg shell that once held the yolk. Friends let me tell you something….it is ethereal and worth the price of admission.

If you call yourself a foodie and are worth your weight in sweetbreads you have to appreciate this presentation. The egg shell is perfectly cut at the top and is the daunting responsibility of the junior chefs in the kitchen. Remember cartoons growing up of the army private peeling potatoes? The job of cutting the top off of the egg is the equivalent of that in the kitchen at Per Se. *Ok, I will come clean, we ate there this past weekend and it kicked ass! When this dish was served again this past Saturday, it really got all of us talking about the presentation. Homeless Tim as luck would have it, happens to “know a guy” and inquired about how this job was performed. He further negotiated that since we all were a little short asked if we could help out and chop some egg shells in payment for our dinner.

Now before you start to think that the kitchen staff gave us knives and a dozen eggs let me stop you right here. The ‘egg topper cutter off-er’ is a little cup that sits on the top of the egg and you pull a plunger like a morse code machine. To keep us from stealing all of the chocolate candies (Yes I am looking at you MC Hammer) they brought out 2 eggs and the showed us how to crack the egg. Let me cut to the chase, it is harder than one would think.

2010_04_the_french_laundry-54Served it is a very simple and very French Dish. The story is that Keller over ordered eggs for the restaurant and since he didn’t serve breakfast he had to come up with something quick. Notice how all great menu items start as a solution to a kitchen problem?

egg-custardNotice how the top of the egg is cut clean? Try that ish the next time you make eggs for breakfast in your BVD’s.

img_0053Close up of the Egg Top Cutter Off’er

img_0052Schroeder working her magic on the egg.

img_0051Tim you had ONE JOB! I am kidding, trust me when I say that this is no easy task and we figured that Per Se holds roughly 75 seats in the main dining room and the private room so some poor Shmo in the back is breaking at least 100 eggs a day to make service.

img_0054Yes I stalk the Instagram of the French Laundry and Per Se. I love the quotes or remembrances that are on ‘the pass’. My all time favorite is still after they won another 3 star Michelin award that read “Work Hard, Stay Humble”

img_0056In case you were wondering a gastronomical orgasm happens to each patron who dines there behind those doors.

Don’t hate the player, hate the game. Oh and it will take us a year to get the money to pay for next years dinner. *if we make the cut.

Thanks to a great dinner and great conversation again. Merry Christmas





Surviving the Snow and Ice in NYC

When we got home from Loser Lounge Friday night it was well after midnight. We were supposed to have some snow but didn’t see one flake. Come to think about it, we took the subway home and it was pretty quiet at that hour so we didn’t see many people. #seewhatIdidthereKLCMan It was around 7AM the next morning when white dog decided it was time for me to take her ass downstairs to let her pee and poop. I glanced out the window and noticed the roof on the building on E72nd was snow covered. In my mind it was “CRAP! Now I have to go find my snow boots” because I hadn’t broken those suckers out since last years snow. After about 20 minutes of finding every dust bunny in Manhattan that was hiding in the back of my closet, I locate my Bog Snow Boots.

I harness up the dogs and naturally Red Dog wanted no part of this but it wasn’t because of the snow, it was because we were met with freezing rain. I don’t blame her because it fecking sucked. I get the dogs to pee and poop, pick them up to save time and notice a woman tip toeing down the street. She was trying to avoid the ice slush puddles and snow piles because she wasn’t wearing snow boots but ballet flats. I make my way to the front door and see a guy doing the same type of dance and he is wearing Chuck Taylor canvas tennis shoes. I am thinking to myself “don’t these jackasses know any better?”

Later in the day I head down the street to get my laundry and we now have a full slush on the streets while the sidewalk is clear. You see it is a NYC law that you have to clean your sidewalk after a snow. If not you could get a fine or worse some jackass suing you because you had ice and they fell. People were still not adhering to the ‘bring out your snow boots’ rule and were wearing tennis shoes and more low profile shoes. You get to the curb cuts and people would ‘think’ that the snow was fine and step on it but would be met with an icey slush under the snow and curse words would naturally ensue. And you feckers make fun of my accent but look at me in my knee high snow boots. Don’t you know that I used to work for Memphis in May?

img_0040Oh it is so pretty. I would rather look at the beach than this cold ish

img_0039East 71st Street

img_0038Maddy is not happy at all. She is ‘low profile’ so her underside gets cold and icy.

img_0043-2By the afternoon it was icy slush on the street to the side of just wet

img_0044In Memphis they would shut down the city because of this.

img_0045Oh let me “Bruce Jenner” jump over this slush. See those footprints on the left side that look like tennis shoe marks? The dumbass a block up found out that it was an icy slush below and was not happy.

img_0042This is how you can tell if you need snow or rain boots in our building. See if there are any shoes or umbrellas drying outside of an apartment.

_9994356Don’t be that guy, just get you a good pair of snow boots. Maria told me that rule right after Labor day when it turned cold.

So the next time you hear they have forecasted snow, do yourself a favor and get you some decent warm snow boots to navigate the city streets. #CarbunkleCares

Losers Lounge – Sir Elton John 2.0

If you are wondering what I am talking about feel free to read the proper back story HERE and don’t worry we can wait on you….. This past Friday Mrs. Trumpet and I headed down to Joe’s Pub to listen to The Joe McGinty 7 perform Loser’s Lounge tribute to Sir Elton John. We did the hard math that night and determined that it was 21 years when we went to the First Losers Lounge show. This year’s show was equally as great. Sadly we didn’t have someone eviscerate “Rocket Man” like the first show but all of them were equally as good.

We attended with Maria and BoBo who was fresh off of his hospital tour and Maria upped the stakes and got us front row seats. 23 songs on the set list, starting with “Tiny Dancer” and finishing with naturally “Step into Christmas” it was a good time Friday night. When I say that you are missing a great time, I am serious. We even got one of my 6 readers out of “Crime Free Upper West Side” to attend and we think she liked it. Not sure who the next tribute will be but we will keep you posted.

img_0012Tiny Dancer

img_0015“I guess that’s why they call it the blues”

img_0016Joe McGinty on the Piano

img_0017Blythe Gruda absolutely blowing out “Rocket Man”

img_0020Why yes that is Anna Copa Cabanna singing “Honky Cat”

img_0021Serena Kuo singing “Philadelphia Freedom”

img_0022Murderers Row

img_0029“The Thirst” by the one and only Julian Maile

img_0031“Whatever Gets You Through the Night” Verena Weisendanger

img_0034No that isn’t Michael Donahue from The Commercial Appeal or Phil Spector. That is Mike Fornatale belting out “Take me to the Pilot”

img_0035David Nagler leading us along with “Bennie and the Jets”

img_0036Nope that isn’t Santa, it is Joe McGinty saying Merry Christmas!

Pictures of the Past Weeks

This goes back to when we had EGP in town for Thanksgiving to current day.

img_2625EGP and I went to go watch them blow up the Macy’s Thanksgiving Day Parade Floats on Wednesday night.

img_2630Standard Thanksgiving Dinner Wine

img_2632Fiona didn’t want any part of the picture. We were going to send it as our Christmas Card this year but it would just confuse a lot of people.

img_2637The Saturday after Thanksgiving is commonly referred to “Small Business Saturday” so we supported Small Business

img_2664-copyDamn You Jo! Damn you and your bottle of Jamo!

img_2659Bloomingdales on a Sunday

img_2646Ran into Coaches Slocum and Hatfield at a black tie event.

img_2639Nino’s is in the holiday spirit Too

img_2649Why hello Krazy Lady. Please keep your sheet on you. Ain’t nobody got time to see that ish.

img_2650Monkey Head Maya Turned 4 last week too!

Have a good day

The Shobo Wine Ponzi Scheme

Friend of Baby Fine Hair – “How do you know SXXXXa RXXXXXo?”
Baby Fine Hair – “Um she is my best friend, I have known her since the first grade. Why do you ask?”
Friend – “I saw your post about the holiday wine exchange, I heard it was a scam created by a woman in New York City.”
Baby Fine Hair – “Well her husband is Eye-Talian……”

It started out on Facebook when the Asian Fireman’s wife posted the Holiday Wine Exchange. Shobo after reading the words wine was on point like a Labrador retriever in the duck blind and agreed to sign up. She sent a bottle to someone on the list and then posted it on her Facebook page. Next thing I know the door men are wondering what the hell is going on in apartment 1002. Seriously, it started out as one bottle. Then 4 bottles showed up the following day. Next thing I knew we have a kitchen counter full of bottles of wine and the FedEx Ground guys are starting to wonder if everything is ok and does my wife know that you can order wine by the half case of full case rather than by the bottle.

The whole time, I see posts on Facebook about how the “Holiday Wine Exchange” is a scam. Tell me if the picture below is a scam. Works for us. Now I just need to start a Holiday Cigar Exchange with the Asian Fireman.

img_2693Looks like a scam to me. Sure you give your address to a stranger but do you not trust the person you agreed to sign up?

img_2671Tuesday Afternoon Deliveries

img_2673Wednesday’s Deliveries

instaThursday’s Delivery. Looks like it is slowing down but hey we got some red wine to swill now!

Seasoned Greetings!




We are getting close to the opening of the 2nd Ave Subway – Stop laughing

Yes I am looking at you Maria, Jessica, Asian Fireman and all you nay sayers. It is going to happen! I can’t wait till New Years Morning! On New Years Day I can walk a block and head downtown on the Q line. I may go swimming in the Atlantic because I can go all the way to Coney Island with out transferring! Stop snickering you 3! It is going to happen!

*For those of you who don’t know the joke – This project has been going on forever. Kind of like the never ending roadwork on I-240 in Memphis.

img_2687Working 24 hours a day to get this done. This is 72nd and 2nd Ave.

img_2688Going to be so nice to have zero construction on 2nd Ave.

IMG_9349This will only be used to go up and down to Grand Central. Soon I will have 2 choices for my subway!

IMG_1506They get it done and I can jump on the F line rather than walk all the way to 63rd and Lex.

The Best Burger in New York City!

You recall the first paragraph from my last ENTRY? If you didn’t read it, go ahead and click the link and catch up. Anyway, what I failed to mention was that LZ invited me to go have burgers with her and FZ. I appreciated the offer but had to decline because I still had to get the Christmas Tree and smoke a cigar. The words LZ told me was something along the lines of “Best Burger in New York.” Now I have heard the term ‘Best’ many times up here and am always skeptical because it is very opinionated. Seriously you ever want to start a  fight up here, ask the question “So who has the best pastrami sandwich or bagel up here?” it is always good for hours of entertainment.

This past Friday was the Girl’s Wine Club where the ladies drink like it was their job sip wine and compare tasting notes on a predetermined region or grape varietal. Normally during wine club the guys are forced to fend for themselves or as I normally do, smoke a good cigar catch up on my community service. Anyway this particular Friday I had made plans to have a cigar with FZ and probably have a couple drinks for good measure. We decided upon the Carnegie Club on W56th street where we ‘sampled’ some bourbon and scotch and may have overpaid for a couple cigars. They had a  3pc band who played some great Blues and Jazz while we cursed the jackasses who left the door open.  *Oh and if you think that we just traded dirty jokes I will have you know that we solved a lot of problems and planned a great trip to the Crossroads in the fall* So take that Mrs. Trumpet and LZ!

We finished up our cigars and rather get black lung and smoke another cigar we decided to head out into the cold. It was mentioned again to me but this time from FZ. “You want to grab a really great burger? It isn’t too far from here.” Considering that I had last eaten some 12 hours ago, I was hungry and agreed on getting a burger and beer. We then ventured to XXXXXXXX XXXXXXXXXX (name of joint withheld so that the Hipsters don’t show up) and stood online for about 30 minutes. When we entered I immediately recognized something familiar. FZ had brought me to the Alex’s Tavern/Ernestine & Hazels of New York City! I immediately asked FZ if the menu was burgers and potato chips but was pleasantly surprised when I found out that we can have French fries.

Cutting to the chase – Yes I got a friggin Double Double. Of course it was with Cheese, naturally it was Medium Rare, it had the Works on it, I added Bacon, and you can bet your sweet ass I had fries and a Beer with it too! So the price was above twenty five dollars, to sit in a joint that reminded you of sitting in a booth at Alex’s Tavern but it was well worth it! While FZ and I were devouring our burgers with grease dripping down our arms I looked up and recognized an old Sony 19inch color TV that reminded me of sitting in Robert Junior’s section at the Rendezvous. Seriously, I had a religious moment in this joint. As far as the burger……..You saw the tweet I sent to RJ and FT.

On to the pictures….. Oh and thank you Fred for a great evening. Cigars, John Dewars White Label and New York’s version of Rock Mo’s/Soul Burgers is always a great night!

img_2684Got to love a guy who wails on a stand up Bass

burgerI am probably Fecking my newly found joint by posting this picture but here is the only way that people know where to go for these burgers.

menu“We ain’t got no Menu”
The late Sonny Wilson formally of Alex’s Tavern

tvYes that TV doesn’t have a ‘flat screen’ on it. God help the person sitting under it should it ever fall.

imagesn72u7g3cIf this doesn’t make you sexually aroused then you need to quit reading this blog you Vegetarian!
BTW – The Translation of Vegetarian means “can’t hunt or fish”

And for those coming into town this weekend, no I won’t tell you where this is. I have lived here a year and 4 months and just found this gem of NYC.