When we got home from Loser Lounge Friday night it was well after midnight. We were supposed to have some snow but didn’t see one flake. Come to think about it, we took the subway home and it was pretty quiet at that hour so we didn’t see many people. #seewhatIdidthereKLCMan It was around 7AM the next morning when white dog decided it was time for me to take her ass downstairs to let her pee and poop. I glanced out the window and noticed the roof on the building on E72nd was snow covered. In my mind it was “CRAP! Now I have to go find my snow boots” because I hadn’t broken those suckers out since last years snow. After about 20 minutes of finding every dust bunny in Manhattan that was hiding in the back of my closet, I locate my Bog Snow Boots.
I harness up the dogs and naturally Red Dog wanted no part of this but it wasn’t because of the snow, it was because we were met with freezing rain. I don’t blame her because it fecking sucked. I get the dogs to pee and poop, pick them up to save time and notice a woman tip toeing down the street. She was trying to avoid the ice slush puddles and snow piles because she wasn’t wearing snow boots but ballet flats. I make my way to the front door and see a guy doing the same type of dance and he is wearing Chuck Taylor canvas tennis shoes. I am thinking to myself “don’t these jackasses know any better?”
Later in the day I head down the street to get my laundry and we now have a full slush on the streets while the sidewalk is clear. You see it is a NYC law that you have to clean your sidewalk after a snow. If not you could get a fine or worse some jackass suing you because you had ice and they fell. People were still not adhering to the ‘bring out your snow boots’ rule and were wearing tennis shoes and more low profile shoes. You get to the curb cuts and people would ‘think’ that the snow was fine and step on it but would be met with an icey slush under the snow and curse words would naturally ensue. And you feckers make fun of my accent but look at me in my knee high snow boots. Don’t you know that I used to work for Memphis in May?
Oh it is so pretty. I would rather look at the beach than this cold ish
East 71st Street
Maddy is not happy at all. She is ‘low profile’ so her underside gets cold and icy.
By the afternoon it was icy slush on the street to the side of just wet
In Memphis they would shut down the city because of this.
Oh let me “Bruce Jenner” jump over this slush. See those footprints on the left side that look like tennis shoe marks? The dumbass a block up found out that it was an icy slush below and was not happy.
This is how you can tell if you need snow or rain boots in our building. See if there are any shoes or umbrellas drying outside of an apartment.
Don’t be that guy, just get you a good pair of snow boots. Maria told me that rule right after Labor day when it turned cold.
So the next time you hear they have forecasted snow, do yourself a favor and get you some decent warm snow boots to navigate the city streets. #CarbunkleCares