Month: January 2018

Pictures of the past weeks –

On a Monday? What gives Carbunkle, you get too juiced like a Ferrari this past weekend and forget to take your foam out and document the shenanigans? Actually it has been kind of boring up here as of late. Friday night we went over and drank wine at a friends house, Saturday we slept in till noon and that night we didn’t do anything. *Disclaimer – I am writing this Sunday morning as the wife and 2 dogs are sleeping* And Sunday we don’t really have any hard core plans other than chilling out on the couch watching the Grammys.

So here are some pictures that I have had on my photo reel for a couple weeks. As you can see it isn’t always fancy dinners and fancy drinks every night. Well I did have happy hour drinks with the Work Wife (the domestic one, not the international one) at Tommy Bahamas on 5th Avenue on Friday.

IMG_2612Coffee or Booze? Only I will know

IMG_2557This is just absurd. They have these cigars (the one on the right) at my Cigar joint. Who in the hell wants to smoke a 8 X 80 cigar. You put that thing in your mouth and you look like you are sucking on a (oh hey, look at the time) *The Ashton Churchill is next to it for scale and size*

IMG_2568We adopted one, we hated being the odd ones out so say hello to Carbunkle Elvis Trumpet Jr! We are kidding, this is the offspring of the Asian Fireman who we will always spoil and be nice to. That way when we get old we can have him wipe our butts.

IMG_2554I think the ambient temperature with the wind-chill outside is close to 5 degrees. Even New Jersey looks nice from inside.

IMG_2541I wonder why I am turning into a Fat Kid.

IMG_2614A K for a fucking stroller? F that! I will just go steal one that is parked outside of all the diners in the Upper East Side. In speaking to Lady Barrister the other night there are a couple outside of the hall in her building.

IMG_2608Rule Number 1 for anyone walking the streets of Manhattan – DO NOT FUCKING HAVE A UMBRELLA THAT IS BIGGER THAN THE WIDTH OF TWO PEOPLE!

IMG_2610Congrats to my friends on 10 years of running a successful bar in downtown Memphis. See you in April!

IMG_2613Come to work at (INSERT COMPANY NAME HERE) it will be fun they said………….. I am kidding, I do work for a great company but there are days that I wished my parents encouraged me to go to Medical School.

Have a good week folks and I promise to get my ass into gear.

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Shopping in New York City….Who do I have to F&*K to get Cajun food up here?

So Mrs. Trumpet was hosting her Christmas party last weekend. I know what you are saying, its mid January. Her menu was to include BBQ Sliders and Muffaletta Sandwiches as well as some other party food items. I was dispatched to get the Olive Salad needed to make the sandwiches and I figured this would be an easy task right? Well the cost of shipping Central Grocery’s Olive Mix is cost prohibitive so I figured I would make my own. First I needed a bottle of Giardiniera which is picked vegetables (cauliflower, carrots, banana peppers, pepadew, and olives) and is the base of any good olive salad.

After 4 trips to different stores, bodega’s and specialty stores produced absolutely ZERO Giardiniera. How in the world can New York not have Giardiniera or anything similar? I have talked a couple times how we struggle finding good Cajun food up here. I am starting to think that this is a conspiracy. Needless to say after all my trips to the stores I created the best I could do of an Olive Salad. Thankfully because all of these New Yorkers have never had a Muffaletta it was a hit and they loved it.

MZ_Product_GIARDINIERANow some of you are going..Oh so that is what he is talking about

IMG_2578Yeah I kind of made a bunch, oh well at least it won’t go bad!

IMG_2589It was a hit to say the least!

I guess me finding a Shrimp PoBoy or a good Roast Beef Debris Sandwich is going to be futile up here too.

Fun during a Memphis Snow Storm

“Hey Kid, you are from Memphis right?”
“How in the hell can 3 inches of snow shut down a city?”

Yeah I took some serious heat for the Memphis Snowstorm last week.

IMG_2588All the kids in Memphis can thank Uncle Carbunkle for keeping the tradition alive!

IMG_2585PJ’s inside out, slept with a spoon under my pillow and poured ice in the toilet each night! Worked like a charm!

IMG_2546And the kids still went to school the next day up here in Manhattan!

IMG_2527It was cold last week. I am not a fan of this at all.

 

Theo and some others better be singing my praise. Of course their parents are hating Uncle Robo!

 

You want to go drink some wines from Switzerland?

Yeah, Yeah, Yeah, I am back. I was busy last week tormenting the Memphis parents of kids who were out of school for 10 days. It was a lot of fun and it really is like shooting ducks at the Peabody hotel between the hours of 11AM and 5PM. We got an email from Lady Barrister of the Murphranks asking if we wanted to go taste & drink swill some wines from Switzerland. Naturally I was intrigued because I have never tasted any wines from this country and I am always up for some day drinking with the Murphranks.

Swiss wines are grown in roughly 15,000 Hectares (37K Acres) of land. Put it this way California produces wine from 520K acres. So 93% of the wine produced in Switzerland never leave the country. Add to that it is hard to harvest the grapes due to the terrain and the high cost of living in Switzerland and the climate…..this ain’t cheap bottle of wine. The tasting was held at Anfora restaurant in Greenwich Village and let me tell you, they do a great job there.

The wine guy came out and said that this wasn’t going to be a snobby wine tasting and he encouraged us to speak up if we liked it or not. Naturally they served us some food to nosh on and I can already tell that I am a fan of Switzerland. They had one of those cheese melt broiler thingie’s on the bar. I was in love. Booze and Cheese….(hey Neighbor, quit drooling and get in the car)

We sampled 8 wines (3 white and 5 reds) and I found out that even though it may be expensive Swiss Wines are the bees knees. I may have to make a trip there (in the summer) to check it out.

IMG_2599They Fancy at Anfora. Even had a placemat of the wines we were going to taste.

IMG_2603What is that thing I asked the bar manager. She told me wait and the show will start soon.

IMG_2597Wait is that a block of cheese and one of those broiler things. Oh hell yes!

IMG_2598Hey Chef, just move that over here and give me a crack at it.

IMG_2600Melted Cheese Goodness over potatoes and meat. How good is life right now?

IMG_2606The wines that we sampled. Yes I originally said we had 8 wines but there are only 7 listed here. We got bonus wine at the end!

IMG_2595Naturally we had to prepare our palettes with some booze and sought out Tavern on Jane Street. Snapped this as it reminded me of Bardog!

IMG_2604Naturally we finished up the evening at a Greenwich Village staple and had burgers with Vodka from Austin.

A good time was had by all. Thanks Murphranks.

All The Good Ones Are Leaving Us Behind

*editors note – I have had this post written in my head for a couple of weeks but I never had the proper time to sit down and put it into words.

Way back before the dawn of Facebook, Twitter, Instagram, and any other social media outlets or as Millennials would say “the dark ages” people would converse on message boards. One such message board that we would frequent was for our second favorite island down in Belize. The message board handles were great; Travel Queen, KLCMan, Otter, Nova, Diving Cowgirl, WindJammer, TacoGirl, KC Jayhawk, RMT, Reaper, BrusselSprout, Sweet Jane, Chloe, Bobcat Bill, Wonderwoman, I could keep going on for days.

The ACMB message boarders would always get together in November and then again in February for the “Boogiedown” which was when the skydivers would ‘fall’ (see what I did there KLCMan) down on San Pedro.  One of the ACMB regulars who now lives well south of the Mason Dixon Line would always say “Hug your loved ones” as we are never guaranteed a next time or tomorrow. This simple saying has been hitting home as of late as the island reunions seem to be getting smaller and smaller each year.

Sadly due to bad scheduling we have been missing the majority of the ACMB reunions due to moves to NYC, school, unemployment, low funds, and vacation constraints. It seems that now anytime the gang gets together it is to mourn the loss of one of the regulars. It seems that in the blink of an eye we lost two great ones in the past 3 weeks. If I tried to eulogize those that have gone on before me I would certainly fill my 500 word cap and I could never give proper justice to those who are looking down on us.

So in closing, Mrs. Trumpet and I are 100% in for San Pedro in February during Reapers Boogie Down. We hope to see some familiar faces down there. Here are some that I found on my old Facebook Feeds and ‘stole from TacoGirl’

797_37129939927_3126_nChunky, Ruth, AZ Bob and Bill (forgot his handle)

797_37130019927_8101_nOh yeah, I was sober. Me and Taco Girl!

797_37130034927_8828_n“Hey I know You!” Sweet Jane and Hubby (who now live fulltime on the same Island)

797_37130044927_9531_nMe and KC Jayhawk

797_37130079927_1675_nWhat kind of an asshole puts his feet up on the bar stool and take a nap? Oh wait..he does own the joint.

229211_8100279927_4996_nI do love me some Pedro. He isn’t afraid to speak his mind and I respect him for that.

797_37132319927_3236_nSorry Ladies, both of us are taken. Hopefully the picture still is sitting on Chloe’s nightstand.

200491_10150131659414928_6956946_nRuthie and Little Baby Sister

229591_8100274927_4561_nTQ How many years ago was this picture. You haven’t changed one bit.

1923980_51893329927_6925_nKLCMan, Gela and Mrs. Trumpet on the boat to Caulker

1923980_51893454927_4993_nLooking forward to having some Belikins with this sucker and his wife.

1923980_51893709927_9811_nLove me some Dita and Rambo!

1923980_51898899927_6578_nHey Look a Chicken!

STP87337Stole this from Taco – I spy Nova, Farmer Ted, Bill, Jammer, and a bunch of other folks in a bar that is no longer there.

STP87342Wind Jammer Dancing at Wet Willies (which is also no longer there)

199381_10150131649639928_7841925_nGailtor and the Trumpets.

Note to WonderWoman, Diving Cow Girl, Mrs. Otter and some others – Consider yourself lucky in that I didn’t post the pictures that I had of you. I don’t like to get hate mail or death threats. LYLTU#1

14 days can make one two week…..

I know I should keep my day job because of that groan’r. No it isn’t Lent just yet as my yearly Lenten tradition of providing you with corny kid jokes on The Book of Face. For 14 days (hopefully ending today) in a row we have had below freezing temps in Gotham. This past weekend it was BSC (Ball Shrinking Cold) as with the wind chill from the East River temps were below freezing and were -1 to -15 degrees.

Yes I know that Memphis had some cold weather and there are some who have to pay a plumber and even some of my San Pedro folks were bitching but give me a break. When you have to put more layers than an onion to take the dogs out you know it is cold. Hopefully today (Tuesday) the temps get above freezing and we break the streak. We had snow last Thursday and for all of you who think that the snow in New York is so pretty have obviously never been here a couple of days after it snows. The snow turns into New York Snow aka dirty and smelly.

IMG_2532You know it is going to be bad when they send out alerts because of weather.

IMG_2519What the Hell are These Things Used For?

IMG_2524Thanks to UWS Holly for this Gem of information. Get you a cheap pair of snow goggles during a Cyclone Bomb. Blowing Snow into your eyes sucks but wearing these helps.

IMG_2523Oh look how pretty 1st Avenue is. Yeah it sucks!

53677705979__45D17950-2FF6-4AF6-B990-81795E5E223FSnow on our window.

IMG_2537Afterwards the sidewalks are shoveled but normally you lose a couple feet to the piles of snow. This makes for lots of bottlenecks during rush hour. Especially at the corners which aren’t plowed.

IMG_2546It can be a mess if you are parked on the right side of the street. That’s where the plows push the snow. Aka your car will get blocked in! Recall that shovel in the earlier picture?

IMG_2535This dog loved the snow. Our dogs…not so much!

IMG_2538Here is what sucks about plowed streets. I can’t jaywalk as easy unless I want to mountain goat up and over the ice mountain.

IMG_2520Best Part of Thursday during the snow storm!

Hope you had a good one!

 

Merry New Year – Beef Jerky Time!

Hope that you had a great New Years Eve and New Years Day. I am currently enjoying poor health (not from alcohol you jackasses) because 300 gallons of snot is being produced in my head so my throat and nose have been on overdrive today. The joys of living here in the North.

Anyway I am going to try to catch up with this post so my next post (probably towards the end of the week) will be current. With that here are some pics on my iFoam.

IMG_2443Son, I don’t care if you are from the Fucking North Pole, it is winter here in New York City and the floors are NASTY. Put some fucking shoes on! Oh and this is the same guy who pulled my (still in the dryer and on the cool down cycle) laundry out and put it in a basket. He may be missing some clothes…..

IMG_2432Our WiFi name is “Penny Get Your Own Wifi” from Big Bang Theory. I am glad to know that there are some Seinfeld fans out there still!

IMG_2455Shout out to my favorite Hoosier Work Wife!

IMG_4077So glad these two knuckleheads came into town and I was able to meet up with them for a drink. I need to get out to Colorado for a trip.

IMG_7873Let this be a lesson to you iFoam people. If you have your ‘airdrop’ app thing on then people can put pics on your foam. Thankfully it wasn’t a hammer pic like I understand is the all the rage on the subways but some girls who were at the next table to us. They were cute and had a blast.

IMG_2486W46th Street between 8th and 7th Ave. Or as I told my father – the closest that I wanted to get to the silliness of Times Square.

IMG_2483Looks like I will never have to cook another meal while living in New York City. *unless we go visit Lightbulbs parents and I have to smoke meat* Momma got her an InstaPot. The problem is that I am not a big fan of yogurt.

IMG_2509Zsquared on New Years Eve #theyweresober

IMG_2510The Trumpets on New Years Eve #wewerenot

Hope you had a good laugh and had a great New Years Eve.

As a friend of mine said there are 365 days in a year so we have 365 chances. Go Make A Fucking Difference! If 2017 wasn’t your year then change your circumstances. Don’t bitch!