Month: March 2018

Whisky Tango Foxtrot Carbunkle?

Stop yelling at me, you are probably going to see fewer posts between now and the middle of May. No I am not doing some weird Post Lent purge, momma is nearing the end of her NYU Grad School so the laptop is in full use. Anyway we really haven’t been doing much as of late *BECAUSE IT HAS BEEN SO FUCKING COLD* I mean seriously, we have had 4 Nor’Easters and this Sunday is the start of Seersucker Suit Season!

I do have a future coffee shop blog post/rant about 4 C-Word Upper East Side hard working housewives as I sat next to them at 80th and Lexington. Let’s just say that they might as well have been wearing tennis skirt outfits and or Lulumon leggings as pants. This past weekend was kinda lame but we have new iFoams and it only took me 5 hours to get that done on Sunday.

And as we know this week is Holy Week or as Julian Maile from Losers Lounge said on Good Friday last year “So Jesus died today but he will be back in 3 days. Pretty much anything goes!”

Happy Easter Folks!

IMG_2863When we do get out of our cages we do come up on some really cool shit! This is Grand Central Station as we were walking with my Work Wife (the Domestic One) so she could catch her train home.

IMG_2862The Real and the Domestic One! S/O to the Bar, International, Memphis and HW/AMF wives.

IMG_2856I mean seriously folks! This was taken last Thursday. I saw that the folks in Memphis were bitching about it being hot.

IMG_2858I seriously laughed out so loud that I had scalding hot espresso come out my nose.

IMG_0924Easter for the longest time was always trips down to Destin. I do miss some Peeps Jousting! IMG_2872

Happy Easter Spud!

And to quote RAB – “I can’t wait for you to tell me on Sunday that the bread is ready!”

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Random Pics still on my iFoam

So I am upgrading foam today, I don’t want to get a higher magnifications on my readers so I am getting one of those iFoam 8Plus jokers. I am almost certain to catch shit from some folks up here given that I ask them “why do you have a tablet on your ear?” Oh and Momma is getting the new iFoam X so she be one upping your ass Didi.

Here are some pics that I have had on the foam that I want to get to hardrive (yes I know that there is a cloud I could upload that to but I am almost 48 years old) I don’t have time for that shit!

IMG_2830I get busted out for mispronouncing this subway stop every time. But these are the same people who make fun of me for saying Houston Texas instead of How-Ston, Texas.

IMG_2822Don’t blame me J-Bob, blame the building owner. The are going to be down the street near the NBA store and Adidas so you will be fine. And there are a couple bars I can visit.

IMG_2806Shout out to my former Mentor who is leaving my ass for something better. I appreciate all the advice and keeping me from jumping off the ledge. Best of luck and we will be in touch.

IMG_0917 (1)Just wanted to post this to see if I can troll anyone else. This was still making its rounds this week.

Apparently I will have much better pictures with the new iFoam. I will keep you posted.  I am heading out the door right now because Momma has a school meeting this morning in the apartment. Dogs you are on your own.

A Grizz Game, Cigars on Tuesday, A Nor’Easter and by the way Its Only Thursday

“So is this a normal week for you guys?” That is what #2429 asked while we were belly up at the Juice bar this past evening.

#2431 replied in his best Southern/New York accent; “Well not really, it is quite odd that we have 4 Nor’easter’s in is as little 1 month.”

If you are wondering what those numbers mean, I will be glad to tell you but I will have to kill you. I really don’t want to do that because I just put a deposit on a condo south of the Mason Dixon Line and I do hate to waste money…….and beer.

So being that today is Thursday or as we call it Day 3 of Spring (kiss my ass you effin Groundhog) we have done a lot so far.  Monday our Grizzlies were playing Brooklyn and let me tell you, that game was depressing.

Tuesday I decided since we were going to have bad weather on Wednesday I decided to retreat to Adult Men’s Daycare The Cigar Inn and hung out while Mrs. Trumpet was at school.

Wednesday on the day of the Nor’easter we saw the deterioration of the weather with first rain, then sleet, snow and the wind that could suck start a Cumming Diesel engine. Let me tell you, I am ready for some nice weather this spring.

IMG_2850The either snickered at my scarf or felt sorry for me on Monday.

IMG_2851It really is pretty arena given that the acoustics suck.

IMG_2852Hung at the American Express suite for a while during pre-game.

IMG_2824Really? Again? Go home Salt Truck You are Drunk!

 

BBKw0eaYeah there were no flights on Wednesday

IMG_7676Any short jokes and I will call “my guy” and have this taken care of!

Have a good day!

Carbunkle O’Trumpet’s St. Patrick’s Day Report

Don’t get your hopes up folks, we were pretty tame on the Feast Day Celebration of St. Patrick. We started off with a traditional Irish fare of Corned Beef and Cabbage, Fish and Chips and naturally Guinness Beer. Mrs. Trumpet was able to join in the full shenanigans this year since it fell on a Saturday. Lady Barrister, UWS Holly, Holly’s friend and us started the afternoon at 5 Mile Stone in the UES. The joint was packed and after we ate we promptly headed to St. Ignatius Loyola grade school for some ‘merriment’.

First of all a huge thank you to the Asian Fireman, Mr. 3 First Names, The Gnome Lover, Skippy, My UConn Twitter Buddy and others for the hospitality and spending time with you guys on your holiday. The drinks were flowing and I even nibbled on some Irish Soda Bread (that wasn’t as bad as I thought) and we got to enjoy some Kitchen Beer towards the end of the evening.

IMG_2838Once Again I peeped the Band from the warmth of a bar. It doesn’t make you a bad person folks

IMG_2839Yeah Liam doesn’t look to happy walking on 5th Ave

29342288_10160367060855599_4058328705326894732_nAll Hail Caesar! FYI Can you see over Skippy’s head? Yep they had a small electrical fire at the school so they called in one of the only sober engine companies to investigate. Talk about pressure they never had 200 folks tell them they were doing it wrong!

29313302_10160364266510599_98311120442347841_nThe Band circling up

IMG_2843What can I say, those boys like to drink some beer.

IMG_2849What is a Saint Patricks Day without an Irish Car Bomb? This was taken on Sunday at Allie Way and no this wasn’t ours.

Hope you had a great weekend and are not reading this from your attorney’s office because your dumbass got a DUI.

 

 

Living The Rock Star Lifestyle Here

Clubs, 3 Michelin Star Restaurants, Partying till 4AM on a Tuesday Night/Morning what a week I have had this week….wait who am I kidding here? My ass starts wants to head to bed by 10:30PM each night. We had a busy week given it was a snow day on a Wednesday. On Friday night I met up with UWS Holly, Mrs. Trumpet and a school friend for some wine before they went to musical. UWS was heading to New Jersey and I was heading to the UES to do laundry. Yep Friday night and who do I have a date with? Tide Pods, Bounce dryer sheets and a good stiff Tito’s and Soda. I made that laundry my bitch by the way!

Saturday morning we got our Fresh Direct order so I was up early. After giving a shout out to “April the pregnant Crab in Baltimore” on the Book of Face I decided to do a little spring cleaning. Mind you it was a ball shrinking 30 degrees Saturday morning so any outdoor activity would require a lot of clothing and lets be honest – I AM FUCKING OVER THIS COLD WEATHER! I mean it is the friggin 12th of March, could we at least have mid 50’s for a high?

I took the dogs out, fed them, shaved my balls & back, I fixed breakfast for Mrs. Trumpet, then I decided it was time to clean out some closets. One of the great benefits of this 535 square foot apartment is that we have killer closets. It isn’t the walk in beauty that RJ and Mallory now have at 595 in Memphis but we are very lucky. Anyway I decided to tackle the entry hall closet, Shobo’s purse closet and then the attic (you wondering what the hell I am talking about) storage area. Yep it was a busy Saturday.

One would think that if you have already downsized one wouldn’t have to do it again for at least 5 years. Well nope, my goofy ass filled a suitcase that would cost over 200 bucks to fly domestic and I haven’t’ even tackled my own personal closet.

IMG_2808Wine Flights for 12 bucks at happy hour? Now I wonder why Mrs. Trumpet picked this place.

IMG_2812Pay no attention to the “Maintenance Wine” or my fancy La Croix bubbly water?

IMG_2813The Purse/Sweatshirt closet

IMG_2816The Attic/Back Room where we store all of our $hit. Yes those are gallons of water in the top right. We have to use distilled water for our humidifier (THAT WE STILL FUCKING HAVE TO USE IN MID MARCH!)

IMG_2817Since we just got rid of our larger suitcase we are now down to 2 carry on pieces of luggage.

IMG_2818The Office/Guest Luggage Storage/Beach Chair Storage Area/Monkey Head Bedroom

Bored yet? Yep, that was our Friday and Saturday. RELAX Folks, next weekend is the Super bowl of drunken drinking or as the Irish call it – St. Patrick’s Day. I have already spoken to my St. Patrick’s Day date and she is ready to drink with guys who have swords with me. This year is a bonus since this St Patrick’s Day falls on a weekend so Mrs.. Trumpet can join us this year for the whole drunken episode.

Sorry Folks, That is life in our Rock star lifestyle.

 

Finding Memphis Food in New York – Some of you are a bunch of Titty Babies!!!!

Yeah I called you a snowflake, snowflake. I mean come on Memphis….You let a silly 5 year old tweet and article get your panties all in a wad because someone threatened your beloved BBQ? I mean lets talk about some serious fucking issues……

I am kidding folks, slow your breathing. Now that the ‘preview’ part on my two social media platforms picked up those three sentences I can come clean. Much like that ill fated tweet I do hope that I can get a bunch of clicks by people who actually think I was serious. Sorry if some of you think that I was serious about that. I have said it before and I will say it again;

“Trying to Find Memphis Barbeque in New York City is much like trying to find a New York Bagel in Memphis.”

That tweet on Sunday was a perfect segway into my point today. We love eating up here in New York. The different cuisines, the different flavors, the 3 Michelin Star restaurants it is something that you can’t explain in 500 words or less. One such cuisine that we have not really found up here is Cajun/NOLA Food. We tried a Bourbon Street joint near restaurant row a couple years ago and it was horrible. On each trip back to Memphis we would immediately head straight to Bayou Bar and Grill or Second Line to get our fix but there had to be a good option here in New York. 2 weeks ago we were Sunday Funday’ng up on Second Avenue and were talking to some fellow patrons and they recommended a joint up the street at Second Avenue and 90th called The Infirmary.

I made a mental note and this past week I was in the area and popped in for a quick bite. The Menu was straight Cajun/NOLA, they had poboys, catfish entrees and even had Abita beers. The bar reminded me of the old “Sleep Out Louie’s” and Original “Bayou Bar and Grill” white marble and it didn’t smell of stale beer and bleach so that was a plus. The food was killer and we will be back!

IMG_2769Bar and yes they have Frose for you fancy people – Old SOL Alums – recall the frozen Margarita Machine?

IMG_2771You have to respect a joint that has not one but two Absinthe vessels.

CajunInfirmaryNYCRoastBeefPoBoy.0I mean have you ever tried to eat a poboy with a raging hard on? It was fierce I tell you!

IMG_2773“Brunch is Bitches Robo” Alex from the Cigar Inn

IMG_2772Catfish, Fried Chicken, Oysters, PoBoys, Shrimp and Grits, its all there folks!

IMG_2770Cloth napkins, Crystal Hot Sauce – Life is good my friends.

IMG_0917 (1)So they lack Sides and don’t believe in proper sandwich buns, some of you guys are just mean I tell you! They do have a good smoked Pastrami up here that is pretty good.

Hope you had a good laugh and got to the bottom of this post before you are blasting me on Social Media.

 

Yeah, Yeah, Yeah I know – Bonus Tuesday Post!

I am guessing that some of you are wanting a refund because I am blogging so infrequently these days. With all due respect when we don’t do much on the weekend it really doesn’t make for good blog material. Last week Momma was busy with a work trip and I had a training downtown so we really didn’t do much that weekend. Now this past weekend we didn’t do much but I was able to get out and about a tad.

Anyway here are some bonus pictures on a Tuesday

IMG_2759Got to Love Thomas Keller and his joints here and on the Left Coast. This was posted at “the pass” at his French Laundry restaurant.

IMG_2765Already spoke to my Mermaid Parade Date for this year. She is going to bring out the crown again!

IMG_2781Look at the focus that Red Dog has right now. What you don’t see is that Mrs. Trumpet has a slice of cheese in her hand. Maya is a cheese whore to say the least.

IMG_2777Why am I on Brain Detail?

IMG_2758Sent this to A-Cup because not only is it a damn shame that they make vegan hot dogs but that someone is going to spend $6.00 on this is a real shame. I guess cardboard is expensive.

Have a good day!

Man Time Flies

One of the only redeeming qualities of Facebook these days is the “On this date” part where you can see what you posted on this day for up to 10 years. On the 5th year of this past week we were across the pond for our good Friend’s wedding. Yep Papua New Guinea Mike and Claire were married 5 years ago this past week. Naturally we wished him congratulations and a text thread started with a couple of the boys. I didn’t want to remind anyone but in the past 5 years the following have occurred;

  • RJ & Mallory sell the Flophouse to Jenna
  • We sell 595 to RJ & Mallory
  • We then move to New York to drink with the Asian Fireman & Mr. 3 First Names and be an hour from Pepe.
  • RJ & Mallory go to +2
  • The Asian Fireman and the Real Estate Tycoon can’t be outdone and go to +3
  • Pepe and D3 go to +1
  • PNG Mike – MAKE SURE THAT CLAIRE DOESN’T DRINK THE WATER!!!!! Mrs. Trumpet has been drinking bottled water for the past 5 years.

734287_10151619122299928_599437964_nKegs and Eggs with the Lads. See all those Dark Liquid Glasses that are in front of everyone. That is English Coffee.

IMG_2766Right after that the Bar decided it was “Last Orders” because the Americans were swinging an invisible jump rope.

482274_10151634510739928_890101125_nIf you see this man and he says “Lets do a shot” you run like hell!

554896_10151634511129928_1783965562_nOh Look PNG Mike “Iced” down some beer for us.

526799_10151634511054928_1136011644_nMike and Clarie’s English Garden – We will put in an outdoor bar at the fenceline!

555064_10151634511259928_589787889_nI am only posting this so that the Asian Fireman and his wife can save it and we can torment Wee Fiona when she gets older and starts to date.

10554965_10152729330539928_1140361562_nBack when all 3 of these boys weren’t procreating.

I think that we need a return trip to Big Smoke soon. Anyone up for a field trip?