Month: May 2019

It’s Friday Bitches!!!!!!! We Made It!

To my 7 out of 15 readers who are not from Memphis; there is a DJ in Memphis who would scream her battle cry “Its Friday Bitches!” on Fridays when she opened her show. Naturally “The Lady Killer’s” best buddy, Christopher Blaine Jarman would bring it down a notch and just say “It’s Friday Snitches” because he was the afternoon guy and he knew that kids were in the cars at that time. Shout out to the Jar!

I have had a couple of people ask me what the hell is going on since I have been on a Blog writing tear lately. What can I say, when Geranium is back in town the world revolves better. Thank you to all of you who commented on my Say No To The Bag/Styrofoam post because that has been on my mind for a couple of days since my return from Switzerland. Actually last night I went down to Target to get a couple of things and naturally I brought my Old Lady Cart and LL Bean bag. The cashier informed me she is required to put scanned items into a bag because it is a security issue. This is going to break TCB’s Mom’s heart but Target is a huge contributor of plastic bag waste. Even though I was putting the bagged items in my buggy the bitch still double bagged it. I counted 16 plastic bags after I got home. They got to do better!

Anyway here are some pictures that I have taken for the past 3 weeks.

Prayers for the Repose of the Soul of James “Jimmy” Farrell a classmate of mine. He was the type of a person who would give you the shirt off of his back. 49 years old is just scratching the surface and prayers to his family and also to the Class of 1988. Honestly, I am most sad that I was not able to attend our reunion last year and get to see him. To be around him was a good thing. Sadly It seems like we have been losing a classmate every 6 months.

Jimmy, I will see you on the back nine or at Buckley’s Bar on Poplar and I appreciate all that you have done for the reunions. Nobody can ever replace your spirit.

Saint John Baptist de La Salle…..Pray for us.
Recall when I said that Cooking For One Person SUCKS? I broke out some stale French bread that Geranium and I didn’t eat so I made some Catalonian Tomato Bread this week. I hate messing up the kitchen.
We are now in 2 Handkerchief carrying weather. One is for my sweaty ass and the other is always for a lady that may need one. Is this something that a 90 year old Southern Gentlemen would do? I think so.
Wait till Tay-Tay or Anna Copacabana is at The Double Decker Tourist Tour Bus Ticket Sales office and needs a napkin. #RoboCares
Not a Molatov Coctail – Vodka Soda and Tea in a Light Bulb!
Speaking of Vodka Soda or Tonic…..
Don’t give me shit about my hat…I like my Silence of the Lamb’s Hannibal Lecter Hat. Wait till I wear this thing in the UES!
Insert Chelsea Handler Nugget Food Joke here
The fiscal year ends today at midnight. Everyone has been blowing out vacation since we can’t carry it over. I haven’t done shit this week.

Have a good weekend Folks.

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A Dive Bar Find – The Classiest Shit Show in Red Hook! And we dig it!

On Monday Mrs. Trumpet informed me that we would be making a trip to Red Hook to partake in some crab and seafood at Brooklyn Crab. I had recalled this place as it is next door to Hometown BBQ and across the street from Fairways in Red Hook. Monday was a beautiful day so we sat at the upstairs bar and had a King Crab Roll and a steamers pot.

We decided that we would start walking and see what we can find in Red Hook because we only know this area by having Ikea and the Defonte’s Sandwich Shop. We come up on The Brooklyn Ice House and decide that we would give it a go. When we walked in we quickly realized that this locals only bar is just our speed. From the neon lighting, various bar posters and old beer cans on the wall this was our place.

This joint actually has a full menu and looking at the prices it was much more economical than Pig Beach and they boasted that their bbq was the best. We stuck to beers and occasional shot and took in the crowd watching. They have a nice outdoor patio area and it has a homey feel.

From the Brooklyn Crab Bar
This begs the question – why is there a cassette deck component atop the chimney. Got to love Red Hook!
The portable Smoker over at Hometown BBQ!
Belize?
Prices are not that bad considering it is Brooklyn
Beer and a shot – $6
Love all the stickers
Bring Cash Folks – No Credit Cards accepted
Coaster on top of drink – Universal Sign of “I went to pee or smoke”
Neon and stickers!
For those of you with a sugar rush they have a pickle jar full of candy
Not Everyone Can Wear Capes!

Don’t worry to my Max Sport Bar lovers who will be making trips up here. I promise to take you here!

Carbunkle is on his soapbox again

Now I have to come clean with you 15 readers. I really enjoyed my trips over to Spain and Switzerland to see Mrs. Trumpet. But what I am about to tell you may shock some of you. I really enjoyed being somewhere that has their shit together when it comes to the environment. Relax, I am not going to be chaining myself up to any trees or will get involved in the ongoing debate about Tom Lee Park in Memphis. I am referring to the way that in both Spain and Switzerland they have their shit together with recycling and the banning of plastic and Styrofoam.

Case in point – my corner deli and frequent breakfast haunt. While I was living the bachelor life I would head down there and get me some eggs, bacon and sausage. I would get a single use Styrofoam to-go container, take the container to be weighed and would have to almost yell at the cashiers; “I don’t need it in a bag or any utensils” and they would look at me like I told them I wanted to sleep with their sister. All I was doing was walking upstairs to eat it at the apartment and I have all that shit here. Why do I need to create more waste if I don’t need to? 

If I got a San Pellegrino, they would be trying to put that in a plastic bag and also throwing in napkins and a straw too! I can’t fault them, they are ingrained that everyone wants a bag and everyone needs a knife, fork, spoon combo kit. Seriously, how many of your offices have that drawer with all the ketchup, utensils, soy sauce and millions of napkins. The worst are the food delivery guys. You are delivering to a residence, I bet if you had an option to not get all that crap with the order maybe they would knock 50 cents off the order. Whole Foods does that if you BYOB.

When in Switzerland on Saturday morning I ventured out to get hydration supplies. Traveling 10 hours and then drinking enough booze to sedate a small city does tend to make one thirsty. I walked out onto the plaza and found the Coop supermarket. 3 big 1.5 L of water, 2 Coke Lights and I was ready to go. I get to the cashier and she looks at me asking if I had a bag. With my limited French and her lack of English she informed me that they don’t have bags and I have to bring my own. Try carrying 5 big bottles with a Class 3 Hangover two blocks and not drop anything. Was I kinda steamed? Yep. Why don’t you carry bags Coop Supermarket? Oh, wait why is the Ugly American bitching? Shut the Fuck Up Carbunkle Trumpet and do better.

When they announced the ban on bags here in New York you should have heard the people bitching. “What do you mean I have to pay for a bag? This is an outrage!” Personally, I think that we should all adopt the Aldi Supermarket model. Use a quarter to rent a cart and you bring your own bags or buggies. Think about it, for all of you bitching about the Kroger on Union Avenue how nice would it be with no carts being left in the parking lot? Sure, the number of bums waiting to take your cart would be epic but that solves a lot of problems there. The plastic bag issue….I now carry a couple of the plastic shopping bags that can be balled up into the size of a pack of golf balls. This also limits me on picking up all the big stuff and I am making the environment better. Now I can feel no remorse when I am clubbing the hell out of that baby seal!

Ok, I am nearing 650 words and I know that some of you are losing interest.

Do you know how many of these are flying around the city a given day?
Our Bags for Shopping when we head out the door
I have one of these in my briefcase for when I pick up stuff before heading home
My Old Lady Cart
Seriously, how great is this idea?

But seriously folks can’t we all do better?

Geranium and I had a blast this past weekend. Hope you did too. Pictures from this past weekend

22 years of marriage on Saturday, Momma got home on Thursday, and we had a 3 day weekend – Maya and I were happy! This is going to be more of a Friday Picture post. That being said;

We went to EWR to meet Momma when she got off the plane. Maya was pissed naturally!
Congrats to the Lady Killer on graduating from St. Dominic School for Boys.
Made some MoJo Coffee for Momma on Saturday with her new Keurig
Went into the city on Saturday to get some shirts. I was nice and didn’t curse anyone!
Two cuties right there!
Brilliant – The bar we frequent on occasion in Dekalb Food Market is a stroller destination for the families nearby. I always wondered why they had kids movies on the TV. The tables are full of the kids in highchairs and they are glued into the monitors with headphones on linked via Tunity. The parents are getting their drink on happy as clams. Like I said – Fucking Brilliant because not a child was screaming!
Holy Shit! I feel pretty good about myself considering I am the same age!

Hope you have a good week folks. Be thankful that it is only 4 days. Oh and Geranium is leaving my ass to head to Seattle today as well. She gets back on Friday and she is going to meet me at Andi’s bar at Baker Street in the UES.

A Trip to Pig Beach

Considering that I have not had any pulled pork or ribs in a while Geranium and I while we were in the Gowanus part of Brooklyn decided that we should visit Pig Beach. A lot of my BBQ buddies have been showing up there doing celebrity cooks for either charity or other events. It seems that every time PegLeg would come in town I was out of town but I still wanted to see what this was all about. We arrived to the converted warehouse and didn’t really know what to expect.

The place is really cool and was also packed to the gills. They have a very nice outdoor area with picnic tables and the inside is also very nice with TV’s and a industrial feel. The service is much like Central BBQ where you place you order at the counter and then go find a spot to wait for your food to be ready. We sat at the bar and had a couple of Miller Lights and Gin Tonics. We split the Pulled Pork Sandwich, BBQ Baked Beans and Mac & Cheese. The red cabbage slaw on the sandwich was interesting but sadly the Mac & Cheese needed some seasoning. They have 3 types of BBQ Sauce and we preferred the mustard sauce over the other two. Just make sure you bring your wallet. They aren’t cheap on price of the drinks or food. I am sorry but a full rack of ribs shouldn’t cost you $34.00. Make a living, not a killing.

Outside was packed on a Sunday…Till the rain happened.
The place has a nice feel to it. Lots of families with kids and 4 legged ones too!
I recognize that trophy!
Not too bad
This actually was pretty good
A little too sweet for my taste
The Menu
Wonder who lives in that big tall ass building
Everything is disposables so busing tables is quick for a fast turn

Next time we will bring the Monkey Head

Saturday Shenanigans With Bobcat, Mr 3 First Names and Lady Barrister

I am sure that some of you are wondering What In The Cornbread Feck I am doing posting on a Sunday? I can barely type on some Sundays and now I am posting on this worthless dribble today? I am blaming Geranium (the woman not the plant) *Shout out to Jean-Jean the Dancing Belizean Queen for making me snort the other day with her comment* on making me get up at the crack of ass of dawn now 2 days in a row. I am thinking that she has given me her Switzerland Jet Lag!

So yesterday the aforementioned in the title gathered at Greenwood Park for some Libations and Laughs. I have not visited some of the Memphis haunts that I see people talk about but I equate it to Loflin Yards or Railgarden (thank you GurleyGurl) as it has been re-purposed and turned into a pretty cool venue. Oh did you think I am going to show any pictures of us wearing our Superhero capes from yesterday? Nope!

The Front of Greenwood Park
I am betting that outside bar is kinda of a bitch to work when it’s really hot or cold
Photo I nipped off the internet of the outdoor space
Got to love the old school Muscle Cars
Cloudy Sunset from our building
Why can’t we have that patio and apartment?
Brooklyn Point under construction. Street on the left is Schemerhorn, Street on the right is Livingston
Looking towards Queens
The East River and Manhattan

Have a good Sunday and weekend.

Pictures of the Week…And Last Week Too!

*Disclaimer – I am preloading this on Wednesday night so next week my stuff will be more current.

Hey Nice Graffiti!
We sat at the bar and watched Skillet do this for about 30 minutes. My question was – “How the F Did he get there and how did he get off?”
I took this pic because the beer was good at the Mead festival!
A Gin Tonic and a Guinness? They have Irish bars in Switzerland? Yes they do!
Meant to show this to Mr. 3 First Names on Tuesday night.
Love me this dive bar. They have The Queen on the wall!
This won’t hurt will it?
Alabama and their abortions – This is my retort.
The Half Head CBT/Geranium Selfie!
Taco Girl. I got you a bouquet of balloons.

Have a good Memorial Day Weekend!

The Trip to Switzerland to see Geranium

Since we made the trip to Barcelona during Beale Street Musicfest I decided that I would head to see Geranium while The World Championship Barbeque Cooking Contest would be going down. My plan was to again fly out on Thursday and take the Red Eye into Geneva, CH. Geranium was staying in Neuchatel which is about an hour and a half by train from Geneva’s airport. Zurich is 2 hours and my return trip would have been a pain in the ass.

Cleared Customs by only getting my passport stamped and rolled over to the Train Station which is in the airport. Was able to get on a train that was leaving in 5 minutes so off I went. I was texting Geranium who had to go to Bern to do a training so we were probably going to miss each other. Thankfully I got to see her and grab a quick kiss before I had to find the apartment in town.

Neuchatel is a quaint little town on the lake. Naturally it was raining when I arrived *Papa New Guinea – I think all it does in the EU is rain!* I found the apartment and Marco was nice enough to let me in and show me around. The place was nice, hell it was bigger than both of our New York Apartments combined! I showered and made my way to search for some breakfast/food. So with smaller towns in Switzerland they really don’t cater much to tourists so trying to find a menu written in English can be a challenge. In Neuchatel the primary language is French. I took Latin so I was fucked. I did find a nice Brasserie and the waiter was nice enough to speak English to me. I asked her to bring me the most ordered item on the menu. When the food came I was about to eat a fucking Cheese Burger. Oh well, next time maybe.

I was losing steam so I figured I would swing back to the apartment and grab a quick nap before Geranium returned. When she returned we headed out and had a couple drinks and bounced around town finding some of her haunts. Had dinner at an Italian Pizzeria joint and finished up having last drinks near her apartment.

Saturday we were to go over to Lausanne to meet up with one of Geranium’s work peeps and his wife. They live in town about 10 minutes from the lake and have a killer view of the French Alps. They are here for a short term relocation which probably will end up longer. Whereas I sell double decker bus tickets to tourists, Geranium and K-Man “The Travel Agent” sell cleaning solution for bed pans. He and Curly Sue have a very nice 4th floor walk up apartment and we enjoyed a nice afternoon drinking the local refreshments.

We left Lausanne and arrived back in Neuchatel, found a place to grab some take away food, and promptly went for last drinks. Sunday morning I arose and you know how my travels back to see the Monkey head went. It was a good visit and I was glad to see where Geranium had been living and meet some people she has been spending time wiht.

Looking at Neuchatel from Lake Neuchatel
At least it wasn’t raining
The water was so clear. I was told by The Travel Agent that it is all glacier fed lakes
Boat Storage Lockers – Seriously look how clear that water is. You don’t see that in the Hudson or East River.
A chocolate store in Neuchatel
Oh yeah, you have to have the logo chocolate
Saturday is Farmers Market and it is packed. Sunday by the way the town rolls up the sidewalks and everything is closed
Fruits and Vegetables are cheap, Main Proteins are muy expensive
Grilling up Sausages
These guys were working their asses off making Sandwiches for the masses
Making Risotto. They had 2 of these going at the same time. Incidentally this is the same Paella Pan that Patrick from The Majestic uses
What the Fuck? A Swiss Smoker? Say it ain’t so!
I have to say, the Alps are fucking cool to look at.
I had entrée envy.

Again thanks to Curly Sue and The Travel Agent for a lovely afternoon on Saturday and for showing us around town. I could get used to Switzerland but I really need to experience the two major cities to give a proper evaluation.

Wait…What…You Mean Today is the 23rd of May….FUCK! Geranium Returns Today! RoboPalooza is OVER!!

Would it have killed one of you Fuckers to remind me that today is the day that Mary Louise returns? I have been busy AF getting the house back to normal. I just found the dog buried under a pile of dirty clothes – Throw that shit away…..the dirty clothes, not the dog. Get the printer table cut down so Geranium can work from her work station or she isn’t going to be happy. Where is the fucking toilet brush???? No time, just use her Quip Toothbrush and get another one later this afternoon. Now I got swing by the bank and pay all the neighbors off for the month long Robo-Palooza festivities we have been having. She asked me to text Maria to get her a hair appointment. Maria you got help a brother out and say you have been too busy to respond to me!

Wash the sheets…Fuck it call Bed Bath and Beyond and tell them I got a code Blue!
Been looking at this for 25 days. Who do I have to Fuck to get this cut down. Thanks to Chris at The Hub for hooking me out!
Fits like a glove!
Way to one up me there Maya with the roses. I got the $5 arrangement but I see you went big balls. Wait till I tell her that you shit on her pillow!

I am kidding folks. I am ready to see my wife. I am ready to spend a nice weekend with her. I am ready to make no plans this weekend with her. I am proud of her for this experiment. I am very gracious that I was able to see her 2 times during her 32 day trip and I am ready for her to be State Side for the next 180 days!

Jose Andres – Are we still keeping score @GrainbinGirl?

So my good friend GrainbinGirl and I share a little obsession together. We stalk the F out of chefs and try to garner seats at restaurants that are the talk of the town. Every January we kick ourselves that we did not attend the Caymen Cookout with all the celebrity chefs but in fairness the price tag does make that a hard trip to swallow. Please note that before we moved to New York she had a sizeable lead on me with regards to chef sightings. That immediately changed

When we moved to the UES it was actually her who figured out that Eric Ripert was one of my neighbors and right after that discovery I ran into him. No seriously, Monkey Head Maddy blind as a bat, actually walked right into him on E71st street. As you can imagine he was petrified that he hurt her and picked her up and petted her. Since then we dined at a couple really cool joints and I rubbed it in to her but not to be a complete dick I did get her a book from Ripert.

When I found out that Jose Andres was going to be signing his new book at his new joint in Hudson Yards I messaged the Murphranks to see if they wanted to join. This was right after my return from Barcelona and Mr. 3 First Names responded that I must have really enjoyed Spain since I was now “Everything Spain”. I booked the tickets and last night we headed down to Hudson Yards to check it out.

To say that Jose Andres is a huge celebrity is not an exaggeration. To say that Jose Andres is a humanitarian doesn’t scratch the surface. To allude that Jose Andres isn’t passionate about life and about food you must have never watched of Bourdain’s shows. And what I also love about him is that he is one of the only chefs in the world to currently be sued by a sitting US President. Yeah, he hates Trump as much as I do. Actually who carries a red wine on tap at his restaurant in Hudson Yards called “Democrat”? But of course Jose Andres does.

Adam Rapport from Bon Appetite was the moderator but was more of a “keep things on track” and the back and forth between Andres and Matt Goulding was hilarious. When I say that you really should have been there it is an understatement. I mean who else can total a rental car in Barcelona and say to the rental car employee who is having a come-apart “But I am Jose Andres and I must get to Madrid” and they are thanking him? Jose did mention Anthony Bourdain during one of the questions but I loved this comment the best;

“I am a vegetarian, I mean look at me. I am as big as a cow and I got this way from eating only vegetables.”

I am betting he isn’t tweeting FAKE NEWS or advising anyone not to show up to a congressional subpoena
Adam Rapport on the left, Jose Andres center and Matt Goulding on the right
He spoke to every person and took every selfie. My kind of a guy
Oh did I mention that Tom Colicchio the co-founder of Gramercy Tavern and a slew of other restaurants was there too?

And don’t worry GrainbinGirl. There is a FedEx delivery heading your way tomorrow. #RoboCares