Month: April 2020

Do Not Mock What You Have Not Experienced Firsthand

So when I posted a couple weeks ago (was it March or was it that long time in April, hell I can’t recall) about my ironing and starching of my bedding linen I got some looks. Not trying to call anyone out, Mrs. Otteralum, but I told this person that until you have slept on this then you can’t snicker at my secret pandemic behavior. Oh she is going to throat punch me when this is over. LULTU#1

Ty Middelton was correct, this is great therapy and it keeps me from drinking at 9AM on a Saturday.

So here is a brief tutorial on how to properly iron and starch your bed linens. Enjoy and smile because you are about to read a blog from a guy who blogged about ironing his bed linens. Oh and this is the Third time I have referenced ironing bed linens.

After washing and drying slide the pillow case in between your ironing board.
Align the seam on one side of the board. This is your reference point.
Hit the shit out of that steam button as you press this.
When Done pull it out (TWSS) and get the top and re-iron each side.
You got to get that stuff stiff (that is what she said)
You have to spray a lot of this shit on the linens.
Get the whole side done and then repeat.
Flip it over and get the other side.
Fold that sucker up and press it like you do Hankerchiefs
Folded and ready to go.
Ok so I don’t really get the fitted sheet ironed. I mean I can barely fold it.

Let me know when you do this. I promise you will love it. Thanks Mrs. Otteralum for playing along.

How many of you can say that you had an Air Show Come To You?

Let me be very clear right now Folks – This is not an invitation for a Debate on the use of a recruiting tool flying over my city rather than spending the money on COVID-19 funds. I don’t have time for this. Pro or Con you will get deleted. This is about a salute to the front line healthcare employees who are saving lives. Furthermore it’s about people being stuck in 500 square foot apartment for 40+ days and the sheer joy we had for about 40 minutes yesterday and it was a welcome distraction. Sorry for the early on Come-a-part but I have seen a bunch of these debates going on social media. *steps off his anticipated soap box*

Back Story – I have been associated with two airshows when I was in Memphis. Long hours and your neck gets sore from starting up in the air. Two years ago we went to Jones Beach with the Murphranks and saw an airshow from the beach. God that was cool and the Blue Angels killed it. Sitting on the beach with a drink in your hand watching it is really the way to go. Last year we couldn’t go because someone had to recover from a boob job. I kid because I am glad she is around but seriously Karen….

So on Monday around 10:15AM I get a message from Professor about an airshow all over New York and New Jersey. I am thinking that from our vantage point in Downtown Brooklyn we could possibly see them twice.

I decided to go live on Instagram Stories and post this. I mean, I watch people’s stuff all the time and maybe I can give something back. I messaged my Work Wife (the International one) and asked if she would want to show her view from Hoboken New Jersey. We did a joint call and it was cool having two perspectives.

She was in and it was very helpful because I found out that it is pretty hard doing a live stream with nobody talking back to you. Shout out to those who got on and those who saw the feed. S/O to Atlanta, Memphis, Lyon France, San Pedro, Florida, New Jersey, New York and all others. The feed is still active until 12:40PM Eastern Standard Time today.

Here are some pics from Mr. 3 First Names and Lady Barrister. They watched it from their rooftop. I told them that in 40+ days I was never so jealous of them and (Calm your tits, we ain’t doing it folks) wanted to come see them and watch together. But that is irresponsible and selfish because other people live in that building so we stayed home.

I could be a male version of Anne Burrell
Shout out to the Work Wife (the international one) for agreeing to do this with me.
Hard to Tell but she and I both have them in our screens but from two different states and across 2 rivers.

Photo Credit by Mr. 3 First Names who I bet was just like me – A Kid in the Candy Store during all of this!
Mr. 3 First Names (this is the outbound flight to Long Island)
Outbound to Long Island and to see Homeless Tim in CT.
Coming back from CT and about to finish. The Building with half glass/half brick with the birdcage on the right side (That is our building)
So Fucking Cool! They were spraying Lysol on all of us by the way!
BobCat and Professor got married here. This may be a duplicate.
Watched my own feed. I say Shit a lot but I am kinda happy with what I put down there.
Again it was a great day and watching this from the 38th floor helps with neck strain.

Shout out to all you COVID-19 front line healthcare responders. Thank you for what you do. We are going to get through this. We are doing our part. We are staying home.

Random Pictures on a (Insert Your Favorite Day) of the Week

I told you that I am getting a little stale, thanks to some of you who have submitted those COVID-19 Life Hacks.

Maya is wondering when these two are going to leave and let her do her Secret Single Behavior! S/O to L(squared)S!
Jersey Singer nailed this one when he sent it to me. I still am giggling!
If Rambo goes missing……. And Shout out to Otter for making it PG-13
Editors Note – she approved this pic as I always try to respect the privacy of those who are short like me. (Oh I am getting called something)
It really wasn’t shorts weather but I am tired of wearing Jeans/Track pants
I told the person I sent this to that I promise I wasn’t sending a picture of my Junk. I mean we are friends but we aren’t that good of friends yet. This person is also a closeted Prepster.

I hope you had a laugh at my expense.

We Lost a Great One Last Week – “Coach” Thomas Elliot Nix. October 19, 1926 – April 22, 2020

I am hoping that I am not starting a trend with these posts. I was finishing up a team call on Wednesday last week and I looked at Twitter. My former High School had posted that Tom Nix had passed away at the age of 93 years old. I sat there for a minute and that news really bummed me out. Not only did we lose a great person but because of the current state of things that nobody will be able to help celebrate his unbelievable life. We could fill Liberty Bowl Stadium with people who loved Coach Nix.

My father had Coach Nix when he was at the Brothers, I had Coach Nix when I went there for high school. I mean that man molded many a Brothers Boy starting in 1957 when he became Football Coach. My father loved Coach Nix and early on he made sure that I would get the same experience. Growing up in the Summer I was always attending the Tom Nix All Sports camp. I recall Eddie Klank and Mike Bennet as camp counselors. I vividly remember the bus rides to CBU for swimming. The “Pokie Bait” references to sweets and desserts. Getting that 2PM Coke from a bottle and his post lunch stories. The story “The Man with the Golden Arm” was mentioned in the obituary and I started smiling because I could remember lying on the wrestling mat listening to him as he sat in the chair in the middle of the gym telling us that. And don’t get me wrong, you weren’t just sitting around doing nothing at those camps. I came home every day exhausted. Battle Ball and Archie Ball are still my favorites.

When I went to the Brothers Coach Nix was serving as Athletic Director and head of Physical Education. Coach Nix didn’t put up with much messing around. Coach Nix despised spitting and would jerk a knot in your head if he caught you. Ironic that he died in the middle of a pandemic that the disease can be transferred from saliva. Oh and if you were caught dipping it was curtains for you. He would put a piece of duct tape over your mouth with the dip still in your cheek. I look back and am (1) fortunate that he never caught me but (2) that type of discipline would have parents up in arms now days. It was very simple with Coach Nix – you do what you are told and you follow the rules.

I recall working for him as a camp counselor in the summers. I think he may have paid us like $75 or $100 bucks a week back in the day. When I injured my knee and ended up having to have surgery. I remember doing my rehab during Gym class and he walked by, looked at me and said.

“Robilio I don’t mean to be ugly but you are just like your daddy. You were the same height with everyone during your Freshman year but it looks like they left you in your Sophomore year. I mean Billy Canale always says that if your legs were any shorter your butt would drag the ground. How about you help the football team out as the trainer?”

He was right, I wasn’t getting any national exposure being a 5′ 7″ running back. I might add being a student trainer did pay for me to attend The University of Arkansas. I would run into him at various events after college and he was always as genuine and friendly as ever and I still tell him I recall that story.

I believe the last time I saw him was at Brother Joel McGraw’s Golden (50th) celebration for being a Christian Brother. Hell I just realized that with campus being pretty much done for the year that we can’t have a going away celebration for him going into retirement. Anyway, I saw Coach Nix sitting at a table, the man had horrible arthritis so I walked up to him. I was about to re-introduce myself (I am always a big proponent of that because people can’t always remember names) and he knew my name and it was almost like we picked up from where we last left off.

Photo Credit – Daily Memphian
Photo Credit – Mark Luttmann Class of 1978

Like I said, Christian Brothers lost a great one. Prayers to Ms. Anita (his wife of 68 years) and the family. Paw Paw was a good one.

I told you I was running out of Material Up here!

I am glad to know that in the middle of a Pandemic the East Village still has their grit!
You keep it funky East Village and the same for you Lower East Side!

Why is he starting out with a picture on his blog today? So that picture above was sent to me by Sweet Melissa the Bama fan who happened to be raised by LSU parents. Yeah, you try to figure that shit out.

I replied back to her – that I wished it was me because the last time I set foot in the borough of Manhattan was 43 days ago. I admit that I try to keep my Subway awareness sharp and repeat the subway stops from say Nevins to say Grand Central in my head. (Nevins, Borough Hall, Bowling Green, Wall, Fulton, Brooklyn Bridge – City Hall, Canal, 14St – Union Sq, Grand Central – 42nd)

This then led into a discussion of how NOLA residents were coping with not having the first week of Jazz Fest. I mean all the food, the culture, and the fun but thankfully WWOZ is streaming Jazz Fest on Alexa. The old neighbor (God I bet her recycling is off the charts right now) was informing us how she now pulls up to grocery stores and they load her groceries in the back of the car and she goes on her merry way. Same for Lowes and Crawfish runs for Sweet Melissa. Welcome to the new norm.

Ok I have tormented them enough. Please notice I didn’t anger the AGM/my old prom date. I don’t need a Pucci Ban right now, I got enough shit on my plate.

So yesterday we didn’t really feel like doing much. I let Geranium sleep in because, well she loves her some sleep. One of our goals during this is that we are trying to reduce our carbon footprint and also conserve food and reduce our waste. Recall that Post about our Fresh Direct FU? So we, on that order, got cut chicken and for some reason we got a head of broccoli.

We decided to make this Broccoli slaw recipe that Geranium makes and we both like. Sadly we needed a red onion, shredded cheese and carrots so we figured we would go this morning since it is shitty weather and yesterday was a nice day and the streets were packed. Yesterday I was taking Maya out and also swinging by Wright & Goebel to get some more rum that I ordered online. I ran into our 38th floor neighbor who was heading out. She asked if we needed anything from Brooklyn Fare so I took her up on getting those 3 items. What can I say, New Yorkers are getting pretty resourceful.

You know if this is going to be the new normal, Geranium and I may think of moving to someplace cheaper and with more square footage.
Melissa said it was great weather yesterday.
I can empathize with her. Geranium and I are craving oysters right now.
Distance from her spot to the fence yep that’s our apartment.
Disclaimer – I actually enjoy looking at peoples yards and pools. I find it therapeutic.
Building is 33% occupied and one of our fucking high rise elevators is on the fritz?
Would someone please return the “Brady Bunch” Hawaiian idol back to its rightful place and end this shit?
I mean really? What in the Actual Fuck?
Love us some K & J on the 38th floor.

So what are your COVID-19 Hacks? I think I have mentioned that I am going stale here.

For Example – I heard if you clean your glasses with white foamy shaving cream it will help prevent them from fogging up. It actually works.

Shoot me a message and I will post them.

And thanks Sweet Melisa for letting me post your pictures. When this is over I am coming there and we are going to drink like its our JOB!

Writers Block

It was bound to happen. I mean one eventually will come to the end of the internet right? Even Taco Girl who is recovering from a chipped tooth and Scooop have changed up the way they are posting during this. I looked at my pictures this morning to post today and even I can’t come up with something clever.

I do have a fun tongue n cheek that I am going to work on Saturday while the sheets are drying. But I am just warning you dozen or so readers of this worthless dribble it could go boring here folks.

Anyway here is what I got going.

If I don’t lead with a picture of Maya I make LJZ upset. FZ doesn’t need that in his life right now.
Geranium ordered up some Gold Belly for us.
Sorry Scoop, I know you don’t need that negativity in your life
Multi Tasking – Happy Hour and DJ Bobby Smith
Surf and Turf
Like I said, I have been bored

And I refuse to be one of those. So big plans this weekend?

Pictures of The Week – Look at the Time…

Hey all you Crazy Cats and Kool Kittens.

Sorry folks but I am behind the 8 ball today (Thursday Night) so only one post on Friday.

I am working on a fun “Reporting from the streets” blog post and my target market is going to be from the residents of San Pedro Belize. I do need more responses by the way!

Sadly I just ran out of time this week. I will work on this this weekend.

Blame the COVID-19 because even during a Global Pandemic I get gummed up from time to time.

Anyway here are some fun pics I have had on the phone.

Rhino snapped this picture this week. Seriously, this is a killer shot and you get a double coverage post. Way to Go Rhino!
I agree with this because what you just did was pee in that pool we are all swimming in. Thanks!
I am sure I am going to piss off someone with this. But here is my response.
Bless Your Heart.
Trash is down in our building – The boys told me that our 750 apartment building is maybe at 33% occupancy
And notice that properly Popped Collar on the right side of the shadow too!
What am I doing? Maya hasn’t been in this for 40 days and probably won’t be for 40 more.

I miss this so much! I wish I could go down there and hug the G Train.
For you Non-New Yorkers The G-Train is one of a few trains that doesn’t run into Manhattan.
It also is only 5 cars long.
Do yourself a favor and follow Carlton J Smith on Instagram – he sings like it’s his show on earth
I can’t wait to see this man live again.
Oh and I am going to SO hug Him too!
Early Mornings mean that Maya and I walk around the block.
By now these would have been clipped and stolen.
This damned virus has made New York City and Brooklyn Nice Again!
Another garden on Livingston.
Hey Pal, I need to get to X and X and make it snappy!
Oh and if they smell like puke when we get back in these suckers I am going to go full New York on them!
Side Eye Maya is in full effect. And yes that is my work station!
Never seen these streets so clean!

Sorry folks, I just ran out of time and didn’t have any white board advice.

Wednesday is the New Saturday Right?

Man O Man The Murphrank’s, Professor, Bobcat, Homeless Tim, The Asian Fireman and Wife are going to be jealous of this post.

Those previously named are in The Per Se Christmas Dinner invited list that we thankfully make the cut each year. Don’t let the fancy dinner confuse them as all high fancy folk. I mean with the exception of Homeless Tim all of them can crush Bud Light like it is their job. Actually if my memory serves me correctly we did go crush Bud Lights after this past years dinner.

I have mentioned a couple times that we have always been a fan of the Grocery service Fresh Direct. A couple clicks of mouse and BOOM someone is delivering my groceries and doing the heavy lifting. You don’t understand what a pain carrying heavy stuff around without a car is up here. Put it this way grab an 18 pack of beer and a normal grocery store haul and try to walk that shit 8 blocks in a boat tote bag. Yeah, you get the picture.

Prior to COVID-19 we could get a delivery slot for the next day pretty easy. Now days they are sold out for the entire week. This does present a problem but we know a couple life hacks to get around this.

  • Always have a couple things in your shopping cart to meet the minimum order.
  • Make this like your Christmas Wish List – All the Proteins, all the drinks and don’t be shy. You may get shut out because of inventory is so wonky these days.
  • Don’t get all pissy if you get a sub. They are trying as hard as they can and if you are one of those who bitch. Bless. Your. Heart.
  • Check everyday multiple times to see if there are some open time slots. You always take the first available slot you can get and then you keep adding to the order. Typically you can make changes to the order up until 5PM the day before.
  • You Network the Fuck out of this – Maria keeps an eye on it and so do a couple other friends.

So last Saturday Maria shot us a text that Wednesday was wide open and we needed to grab a slot. Geranium was on the laptop and she threw 3 items to make the minimum and would modify that later. She picked Cold Water Lobster Tail, Bottle of Veuve Clicquot Yellow Label and a Ribeye Steak. (who is she trying to fucking impress, its just her, me and dog)

Saturday after I got done with my chores I went in to amend the order and I couldn’t find the order. Geranium has been known to struggle with this but I am well versed in doing this on my iPad. I was able to create an order and also secure a slot on Wednesday (4.22.2020 with a window of 6AM to 8AM) so I wasn’t too worried.

On Tuesday morning we were still messing with the order and Geranium realized that the original order was still showing in there so she zeroed out those items. Honestly – We have kind of grown used to things and apps acting strange given everyone is home on their devices.

I think you know where this is going…..

So the order I placed got delivered at 7AM and the ‘guy’ was appreciative of the healthy tip I put on the bill. I mean dude was carrying 6 X 12 packs of drinks and a case of 6X1Gallon Distilled Water. He deserves much more for doing this given the environment.

Then at 11AM our doorbell rings and Geranium receives the second order. It just has 3 items but cost as much as my larger order. I just hope it wasn’t the same guy.

It is pretty easy and you can get pretty much all that you get at a Kroger or Aldi’s
They ain’t setting foot in your house and you can’t open the door until they leave.
Booze is delivered downstairs but with food being perishable they have to deliver to the door.
Seriously we have been shut out for like 3 weeks in a row. Carrying Soda Water is a bitch!
We got Cut on SpaghettiO’s with meatballs but I made this shit rock!
FYI – This was Geranium’s Go-To Meal during Chemo
Don’t hate the Player….
Hate the Game!

Dinner was fantastic and doesn’t everyone eat Surf and Turf with expensive ass champagne on a Wednesday? LJZ is going to be pissed at me for not sharing the bubbles or the lobster!

And Just A Reminder – There Are No Rules in a Pandemic! If I Could Have Gotten White Truffles I Would Have Done So!

Bonus Post For You Jokers

So in an effort to not day drink on the weekend we decided to take on other responsibilities. I mean its not like we can go anywhere. So after I did the kitchen cabinets I decided it was time to get the iron out and make some shit less wrinkled.

So I starched and ironed our bed linens. I have to admit that it somewhat satisfying doing a monotonous chore like ironing. Let me cast no aspersions on what some of you smart asses are about to say. We get out of this I am still taking my shit to the laundry/dry cleaners. I am just trying to find shit to do to keep me from hitting the beer.

I blame Ty Middelton for telling me about this.
It burns about an hour of my time so its ok.
See All Done
So we don’t have an automatic ice machine here. I feel like Ernie and Lynn when they lived over on White Station. I had to get new ice trays as the other ones were cracking.
So George the Cat and his Mum moved out on Saturday. How fucked up is that? We couldn’t even have a going away beer with her or even give her a hug goodbye. Man she sure does have a lot of luggage for one person.

So come clean, what are some of you doing to keep sane?

A Big Saturday in Brooklyn

We had shit weather which we consider a blessing because it keeps people inside more. I decided to forgo my closet since we still have cooler weather and I am not ready to shed my warmer jackets and such. I decided that I would devote some time to our kitchen cabinets.

Easter Sunday Geranium spent a time trying to find her piping bags to make deviled eggs so I figured it was time to get that organized.

Yes that is our wedding china that we put in the dishwasher. Hey at least we are getting a return on it.
Hey UWS Holly – Wegman’s carries Glory Brand.
Notice that top left – we eat out WAY too much these days. New York banned Styrofoam a while back.
Jelly Beans and Pork Rinds – the Fat Kid Food of Covid-19
Right before we went on this silly lockdown I ordered a box of L. Skelton To-Go Cups. Where the Fuck am I going drinking these days?
Made Grilled Cheese and Tomato Soup. The third one is for the Little Bastid. He turned back up.
Not bad and I got to use the soup ramekins we never used.

Like I said, it was some stellar shit we did on Saturday.