Author: Carbunkle Trumpet

Former Memphian who is now living on the mean streets of Downtown Brooklyn/Boerum Hill depending on how you ask Siri. Happily married to a bad ass cancer survivor and celebrates having no children except for some poodles.

Hope you like a lot of pictures of the dog.

I just realized that the last time I ventured past Nevins Blvd or 3rd Avenue was maybe Saturday of last week? Pretty much I walk across the street to the park to let the dog pee on the curb and then walk back. Either I have morning or evening duty as I swap that with Geranium. Another highlight is walking downstairs to get a package but that is pretty much it.

This presents a problem in that you dozen or so readers of this worthless dribble are now going to get tired of the pics of the dog. FYI make sure you follow Maya on Instagram – @Maya_in_NYC because she is going to be the new Influencer.

Without further adeau here are some pics I have on the iFoam.

I have said before I don’t watch the news. Thankfully JR lives over on The Rockaways and reported the Comfort is on it’s way
The Shit Got Real Folks – Can you readers who are still playing the “Oh this won’t happen to us” stop with the FUCKING secret house parties? People are going to die here and my biggest priority in my life right now is for none of my NYC friends to end up here on this boat.
Seriously STAY THE FUCK HOME Why are you out? Keep your ass at home!
I mean if we can do this in 500 square feet with no backyard then what is your excuse.
S/O to Mr. 3 First Names as I had no idea about the show “Take Me To The River” Pay no attention to that Orange Juice in the glasses.
This is Maya’s boyfriend who waits patiently each morning for her to come out and say hey. Seriously George’s mum tells us that he meow’s for hours to come out to wait by our door.
I really question how moving is allowed right now?
Wore this the other day to piss off my dad.
No I am not taking a pic of my Junk (Behave Kitty) I was showing how Maya enjoys it when I take a break and lay on the bed.
Also you can see the white table on the right which is my desk in comparison to Geranium’s work station. We have been doing this now for 17 days and haven’t killed each other.
Fooking broke another pair.
I hope that everyone pranked thier kids yesterday.

Seriously folks stay home. The sooner we all do this the sooner we can come outside and hug and openly kiss people. I messaged one of my peers on the Garment District Team and told NC Tarheel M(squared) that I missed her face.

Support Local But More Importantly Know How To Heat Up Food Properly

So I work with 2 people, probably 3 who don’t cook at home. One of them even boasts that his fridge is empty with the exception of maybe a banana and just has Vodka in the freezer. The Rutgers grad, shit, I am pretty sure she keeps her sweaters in her oven. I mean with the endless food options up here why not. Sadly our favorite restaurants are hurting right now with the new rules they have to abide by. But let’s be honest. Take Out Food can suck when it gets cold right?

So the other night Geranium and I ordered some good ole Brooklyn BBQ from the fine folks over at Morgan’s in Park Slope. We ordered some pulled pork, brisket and ribs for dinner. Oh we also had slaw, mac & cheese and of course cornbread. By the way when did Cornbread become a staple of BBQ?

Here is what I did and for you 3 who don’t know how to boil water – pay attention;

  • When the food arrived I removed the plastic lids from the tin boxes and put them on a sheet pan. Side Note – It really is strange to still see Styrofoam containers in Memphis. We got rid of them a while back.
  • Now Rather than popping into the oven and have the food dry out. I Poured some water in the pan and then covered it tightly with foil. Place the tray in the preheated oven for about 10 minutes. This is called steaming and will put much needed moisture back into the food.
  • What came out was good ole smoked goodness and one would think we ate it straight from the line.
I may have arranged the food to look like the featured picture to stoke some more fun.
That is the last time I let Geranium order bulk foil. Almost taken 4 years to burn through it.
Pour about a cup of water on the tray and cover tightly with foil
NG – You do this for “Here Boy” and you will be elevated to the likes of Ina
The Ribs were good. Mac & Cheese – meh
Oh the Photographer…..drunk!
I do like Morgan’s Queso and Chips
Yo Chef Kelly English – Can you make a PSA down there asking the fine Memphis folks when they order food say if they need disposable service packs or not? These guys gave us just one. The amount of food we ordered in terms of normal take out – family of 4.
Seriously Folks – By telling the restaurant we can help them save costs and save what is left of this environment.

Folks you have to support these mom & pop places. They need the most help. Get Creative and help these folks. There was an old saying that read;

“If you don’t buy something we both are going to starve!”

Wash your hands and stay inside!

A Trip Down Memory/Middle Street on Sunday. Lots of S/O’s

Got a lot on my mind as of late and I needed to find something to occupy my day on Sunday. As you saw from my post on Saturday I was looking for stuff to do so I cleaned the oven. Social Media was getting heavy so I decided to re-read two of my favorite Bloggers down in Belize. I actually emailed Scoop and Taco Girl to tell them what I was doing. They both will have seen the spike in their account metrics and wonder what was up. Each of the blog platforms give you idea of how many visitor click on posts and what country they were from.

I read both of the blogs to the start and I have to say this was a welcome distraction. Granted I didn’t click every post but I was amazed at how, going back to their starts how they have evolved. Me, my goofy ass and this worthless dribble….I still can’t spell for shit.

Below are some screen shots I grabbed and if you are one of those ACMB’rs you may want to take a look back as well. There are some great old pics of those early pub crawls. Thank you Rebecca and Laurie for a much needed distraction.

So here is Scoop aka Rebecca – She originally is from New Jersey and lived in Manhattan as a bond trader till she moved to Belize in 2007. Originally going to chill for a while she then babysat a bar as the manager for a spell. She now lives up north of the bridge with her boyfriend who runs the Cayo Frances Farm & Fly.
She started https://www.sanpedroscoop.com/ and gives you a great look at the country as a whole.
This is Taco Girl on the left. Laurie moved to San Pedro in 2006 from Canada. She has a lot of great information about San Pedro. She can be found at
https://tacogirl.com/

From TacoGirl – Spurs and Simon at BC’s. Seriously ACMB’rs there is some good stuff in the archives
From SanPerdo Scoop – God I miss Gino and the Shake Shackers
From TacoGirl – Pedro’s from back in the day.
From San Pedro – Wade the Gringo is the only guy I know who got a ‘cease and desist’ from a major Burger Chain in the US.
TG – I love this picture for so many reasons. Sadly, the bar and that guy in the white tanktop are no longer with us.
SPS – I post this picture in the fact that Scoop and I prefer those older cougars and sugar daddy’s as both our spouses are older than us.
It is also a fact that Jeff and I share the same OB/GYN.
Ok so there are 3 doctors on the island and the town OB/GYN is also the doc you go for stiches, general illness and I have visited Doctor Gonzales when I had a bug bite that got infected. Jeff took the tip of his toe off and needed stiches.
He is doing fine by the way
TG – I picked it for 2 reasons – I can’t believe how young the Kinnion Kids are in this picutre and how great Laurie looks now since she lost a bunch of weight and has kept it off.
SPS – Here Scoop played off that she was interviewing this couple when it was secretly a proposal that the groom worked up. And Conch Creative was in on the charade too so they could get some pics for the real proposal.
Reb – You ever keep up on them?
TG – Stop Laughing Travelqueen, Dita, Isla and DCG
SPS – This is Maya from Conch Creative
Oh and don’t get your nose out of whack Badass Auntie.
I am getting to you this weekend. (oh that sounded cheeky)
TG – What tha? Taco Girl blogged about me?
This was when I was cooking chickens in Kitty & Shuffles’ courtyard when they owned their B&B
SPS – When the guy formally known as Prince came to Belize
Anyone remember this one? Here is Muppet on her faux Wedding.
For those of you who read those crappy jokes this is Cindy who provides the other half of those jokes.
If you can’t tell that’s SPS and she snuck over to Caye Calker to stalk celebs
TG – I love this one. This is her at her Surprise 50th birthday.
SPS – The production assistant who tried to block the pictures of the Bachelor.
TG – The Surprise Wedding Vowel Renewal of Otter and Mrs. Otter.
SPS – One of her first posts.
TG – You Fuckers Molested Flat CBT
TG – Back when people would jump out of perfectly good airplanes in Belize.

It was great afternoon doing nothing. I hope you enjoyed the walk down Memory Lane.

Weekend Fun Here in Brooklyn!

Here is what is currently going on here in Brooklyn

DJ Bobby did a show on Friday Night – Thanks for doing it Bobby. It was a welcome break.
Get The House Party App. It keeps us Mo-Ho’s together.
So there was a error when I was ordering my Rum for Painkillers. Anyway we now have plenty of post COVID-19 Rum Drinks!
Mr. 3 First Names with the Win!
It was a long week!
Yes we are Nerds but what else are we going to do?
That was what Cinco Askew requested for dinner
It rained on Saturday so it kept people inside which is what everyone needs to do!
Lots of Alcohol being drank!
This Bitch!

Hope you had a good day and stayed inside!

This One Could Get Me An Award

Geranium and I are very thankful for a lot of things. I am thankful that we are employed. Both of us have occupations that allow us to stay busy and focused during this. Like I have said numerous times, we don’t watch the news and my Twitter Feed is pretty non-current events as much as I can but still stay informed. Facebook, I have gotten to the point where I am just blatantly blocking people for their ignorance and or belief that there aren’t slants on news sources.

So on the weekend we don’t have much to do in terms of work and we now find ourselves finding shit to do. I do this because well, lets be honest, you can only watch Tiger King so many times. Another thing is that we don’t need to start drinking at 10AM. Yeah the vibe is getting serious up here.

Pre COVID-19 my Saturday would consist of doing laundry, taking the dry cleaning with Maya and then knocking out the other ancillary items. A drink with the Murphranks or some other fun item would be on our Saturday plans and that was it, we loved it! Now days we are missing it but know we shouldn’t sneak over and have a “house party” because it takes one fuck up and someone’s mother or father is dead.

So we are on lockdown and seriously, nobody really needs to be out in this shit. Because of this I created a list of stuff to do. This particular Saturday after we did the laundry I decided it was time to clean that oven and stove and the kitchen. I cleaned the bathroom like it was in a MTA Subway. Then I went big balls and went after Geranium & my jewelry cabinet.

Yes folks I am about to fucking blog about cleaning the oven and other stuff. Oh and because your ass better be inside you are going to read it too! Oh and the last picture on this thread is a bonus because that will tell you how bored I was today.

Yep, I shower every day and put on my uniform of Jeans, Golf Shirt and my Black Pull over. I did this when I was Fun-Employed 10 years ago.
Yeah I know it’s 10AM and I haven’t been out since 11:30 last night but there is another hooman in the bed so I am good.
Cleaned all the spices and oils.
Yep, This wasn’t fun but at least it is clean
Like I said, we are blessed so we paid the maid last week to make sure she stayed the fuck home.
Picture solely to annoy my foodie friends. Each box marks a trip to per se at Christmas.
I am glad this is done.
Geranium has a lot of necklaces
Broke out the Iron and did my handkerchiefs.
Who I am I kidding, I am not getting on the Manhattan Streets till maybe May and some think June. But they will be ready!
Now feel free to Judge The Fuck out of me.
Yes I ironed and starched the pillowcases.

So a friend of Vivian & Stone who we met many moons ago in Belize and now lives in Tudor City told me that he has his bedding starched. I was enthralled because I normally will just put the clean pillow case on the pillow and call it a day. So in my attempt to keep from drinking I followed Ty Middelton’s (that is his Soap Opera Name) advice and starched them. Wait till our maid returns and I inform she is to now do this. Like I said, this is some award winning shit!

Seriously folks – Stay the Fuck Home!

I miss that Nasty Arse MTA Subway

I mean its nasty, its stories below the ground and lawd knows what other nasty arse things are growing on those poles. Hopefully during this down time they are cleaning them and disinfecting them. Yeah that was funny too but I doubt it. What I figure is that once we get to return probably in May they won’t be stinking but who knows. I am amazed that all of my MTA posts on Twitter about delays are missing. Guess it is true that people are the cause of the delays.

You hardly ever see this. Seriously like never!
Work Break to Torture Maya
Look, I get it you like to mess with me but I better get some cheese for this.
Keeping the sidewalk clean. Thankfully the asshole who non-leash’s his dog and lets it pee right out must be away. He is also the same guy who will reserve his Uber from his apartment and lets them wait for him.
Fek Charlie!
Holy Shit! 6 Cars and a Manhattan Bound Q Train on the Manhattan Bridge
Meatball wanted to so play with Maya
My Screen Saver for my work laptop. This was the old Terminal at Caulker but now its nice and fancy!
Booze Delivery for George’s Mom

Seriously let me know if you want a special request.

Just the Pictures Bonus Friday Post!

You guys getting tired of this shit yet? Feel free to shoot me some questions or requests. No I am not going into Times Square, there ain’t anybody there anyway!

Did our first House Party with the Asian Fireman’s wife and sister
Spoke with the Mo-Ho’s too!
She and I have been told that we wear similar glasses.
Maya is extra loving these days.
So seeing this week was a welcome sight. When we get done with this I can’t wait to sit on the Murphranks roof deck watching the Helicopter traffic return from the Hamptons into the city.
Maya is missing her friends on the hall. No not really but she likes a good run down the hall.
I think it is pretty safe to say that 46-1 will never come back into New York after this.

Let me know if you want to see anything different or have a special request.

Adjusting to Things

New Yorkers are resilient. They can put up with a lot of shit that normal people would say “Oh Hell No, Check Please.” We cram into dirty sardine cans daily to get to work secretly hoping that the person next to us doesn’t stink or fart. We live in small ass spaces and pay more money for this when it is the complete opposite of people in other parts of the world. We live in a place where we have people from so many different countries it is just the norm to see people dressed in their native attire or hear their accent or native tongue.

New Yorkers survived 9/11, Hurricane Sandy and we most certainly will survive this damn thing. But what is going on right now is really strange to people who don’t live here. Case in point this whole Social Distancing thing and that there is NOBODY outside. This is what is really strange to us who have gotten used to it.

Oh I guess when we survive this thing and Geranium and I don’t kill each other we can get our “New Yorker” pin. Maria I am looking to you for your ruling.

This is the Manhattan Bridge from my window. It is a dual vehicle and subway bridge and is the second one going from the Tip of Manhattan going up the East River (BMW = Brooklyn, Manhattan, Williamsburg)
What you are looking at on this shitty day is 1 ten car subway on the bridge. On normal rush hour you see one every 7 minutes and sometimes 2 of them on the bridge at the same time. I counted and the lag time between subway is now 15 to 20 minutes.
Do you know how many elevators I have ridden in the past 2 weeks that I am the only asshole in the car? This building is 750 apartments and everyone is staying in.
It is hard to Social Distance on the streets at times. I find myself walking down the middle of the street at times.
Sadly I didn’t Insta-Story this trip to the grocery store yesterday. As you can see people are not hoarding paper towels in Brooklyn
Andrew Cuomo – “Why are people hoarding TP?” I can report that this particular brand sucks and I won’t use this to blow my nose but its good enough for my arse!
Normal shelves, sure some spots are blown out but its not Doomsday
Again I don’t watch the news so I don’t know what they are saying. I have had a lot of you reach out to me and I am very appreciative. We are going to be ok.
I would give my left eye tooth to grill out but our 3rd floor living space is closed until further notice.
Social Distancing Spots on the Floor.
I got the items I missed Sunday or Saturday when I did the Live Insta-Story. I also got a 12 pack of beer to offset my Vodka addiction

You know how I hate to use the terms “The New Normal”, “Un-Presented”, “UnCharted”, “Be Safe”, and “Be Well”? I would kill to get on the subway and give one of my “Are you Fucking Kidding Me?” looks!!!

So What Are You Missing The Most Now?

Welcome to the party our friends from Memphis and other parts of the Country. Pull up a chair and set a spell won’t you? Anyway here are some pictures from today.

Yeah I saw this and snickered. I am guessing he is a UTA Alum.
I saw this and was going to send it to LJZ and damned if she didn’t beat me to it.
Geranium and her Mad Towel Folding Skills
I figured I would unplug this thing since Maya is going to have Stay at Home Parents.
Haven’t been in the city till March 13th and I miss a lot of this shit! I texted Lady Barrister the other day that I missed Q and may even hug the F Train.
We are going through some major ass spring cleaning. These Days!
That Grey is coming in strong these days.

Make sure you Breathe in Jesus and Breathe Out Satan!

We are going to get through this.

"Maya Lets Go Get The Package"

I was doing my work expenses from the Week ending March 13th. Last week I didn’t really have the energy to get it done. Normally I do my expenses each week and that reminds me; “Hey Staten Island Sam – do your freaking expenses!”

That week I had lunch at Tommy Bahama on Thursday March 12th with a client and VA. Now the brightest part of my day is taking the dog down when I get a package. I don’t know what is worse. That I am blogging about going to get 2 boxes or that you are now reading it.

Maya now leads the way when we go out.
Park is empty, normally you see some kids but they are stuck at home now. God Bless anyone who is working from home with little ones. Spoke with Don today and you can hear the stress in his voice.
At least it was a nice day yesterday.
You don’t see much activity on the streets or traffic.
Got to keep Trevor, Jackie and the staff at The Hub Safe.
As you can imagine the deliveries have picked up Substantially. Normally the food guys will lean on the counter and that isn’t fair to our staff.
Lots of Junk Food on that Cart. Got to Find out where they live
Social Distancing in full effect here folks. You have no idea how strange this is for New Yorkers.
I am happy to report that Maya is very happy with Social Distancing.
The staff has been great here. Once we get done with this I am hugging everyone!

So if you haven’t figured out yet “What was in the Box?” We got our order from Meh.Com. We ordered some new pillows and now that we are stuck in here we are happy.