A male is talking about shoes – WTF

Lady Killer and Ba Take Manhattan 3.0

So back when we told the family that we were moving up to Manhattan there were mixed reactions. Naturally The Lady Killer, nephew, was luke warm at the thought of visiting us up here. Granted the kid was 10 but his list was pretty much the same as a lot of first time tourists;

  • Empire State (nope)
  • Jimmy Fallon Show (sorry dude you have to be 18 to see the show)
  • Ice Skating at Rockefeller Center (we ain’t visiting the ER this trip dude)
  • Statue of Liberty (how about a trip on the Staten Island Ferry instead)
  • 9/11 Memorial, Wall Street, Stock Exchange, Bull (think we got 2 of 4 knocked out)
  • Times Square (you must want a punch in the throat)
  • Nike Town (oh someone must have been on “the google”)
  • Gap in Times Square (just seeing if you are still paying attention)

Since this trip was the 3rd trip for Ba and the Lady Killer we had added trips to Stadium Goods and Fight Club. If you are not sure what those stores are, get a load of this shit. If you want to find a pair of those Patrick Ewing Georgetown Nike’s that were all the rage back in 1985? I am sure one of these stores has them but you better bring your wallet because you are going to pay a pretty penny for them. This trip Lady Killer didn’t get any fancy old school shoes but he did swing by The NBA Store and NikeTown to get some swag.

IMG_1979Tortured J-Bob a little in saying that it was going to be closed during the weekend for cleaning. He didn’t buy it!

IMG_2009Lady Killer and Cuz AL (in addition to shaving that shit off his upper lip we are going to work on his smiling)

IMG_2010How can I snub someone who came to Patrizias to celebrate their birthday. I may be an asshole but I am not an insensitive one. *photo credit to AL

IMG_1999Lady Killer and “My Aunt Bette” – Again dude why no smile? Oh and next trip we are cutting the Bama Bangs a little.

IMG_2002Bacon and Tomatoes – What else do you eat at Peter Lugar?

IMG_2004Oh yeah, I had a mild chubby when they brought this sucker to the table. Pro-Tip – save some bread for the meat juice.

IMG_2005The View of one of the shoe walls at Flight Club. Please note that this picture was taken while I was sitting my big ass on a bench.

We had a fun time! Come back next summer and we can take you to Coney Island!


Weber, My Shit be Broke!

Sorry for the vulgarity this early in the morning, I had to quote former All American “Big” Freddie Childress.

Welp it was bound to happen. 47 year old feet supporting a svelte 175 pound frame that is averaging about 5 miles a day walking in Manhattan and something has to give. I started having some ‘heel’ pain about a month ago and was hoping that it was just plantar fasciitis and not something worse like a stress fracture. I limp around the UES for a couple days until the pain was so great that I had to find a podiatrists who specialized in sports medicine. That is the great thing about New York, there are more podiatrists in Manhattan than there are Irish bars and I now understand why.

When we moved from Memphis to Gotham our mileage went from 0 to about 4 miles a day and there was little to no ‘ease in’ period. If you aren’t wearing shoes that are designed for walking then you are asking for trouble. When BD & SD were in town B was telling me how he wore a pair of leather soled shoes to make sales calls on a trip up here. The next morning he awoke with shin splints. Anyway after almost 2 years of living up here my right foot finally gave out and the tire went flat.

I meet with Doc B and he is one of the podiatrists who is on staff for the NY Knicks. Apparently basketball players have this ailment all the time. Doc looks at me and tells me that rest (yeah like that can happen) is the best treatment but I will have to undergo Physical Therapy. Pretty much that is Ultrasound, deep tissue massage, exercises and a tape job. He fits me for some orthotics and sends me on my way. Now for you Memphians who are wondering what the big deal is having plantar fasciitis is for a guy who walks instead of driving to make sales calls. Try driving your car with 4 fucking flat tires. This shit hurts!


Here is what happens when you suffer with this ailment. AKA This shit hurts each and every step.


IMG_1018Waiting for my time in the chair!

IMG_1020Don’t worry this won’t hurt me one bit

IMG_1019The Bad Wheel, it would cost too much to cut it off according to the doc

IMG_1021It only cost me a small fortune for these things and they make my feet feel worse till they get broke it.

IMG_1023Tape Job while I am walking around the city. It helps but still this stuff hurts

Have a good weekend. I still have a bunch of posts that I need to work on over the weekend. I will do better.

Pictures of the Week – It has been a wild one!

I know that I have been slacking lately but give me a break. Here are some snippets of the past week and weekend. We had the lady killer in town last weekend. Oh and he has a twitter account….but I won’t post it just yet. He better get me that Vince Carter Jersey that I want for Christmas. #justsaying

img_2553J-Bob – Why do I have to stand here?
Me – Shut Up Kid, Cousin AL may go to school here.
J-Bob – But I want to go visit NikeTown…..

fullsizerenderGo Visit the USS Intrepid on the West Side of Manhattan. And you get to see the Enterprise too!

img_2550Yo K-Man!!! (Seinfeld comment)

Side Note – It was mid 50’s that morning…..

img_2552Guess we must be getting near the Marathon. The mailbox locks are in place.

img_2558Early Morning Prior to the Marathon – First Ave

img_2555These dudes were flying by!

img_2568Made it to Hunts Point this week! Hunts Point < South Memphis

img_2565I had to laugh and cry at the same time. This was by 87th and Park near one of the high rises.just wjem

img_2573Just when New York State went Blue on Election night I get this text message from my father.

img_2584Smoked Pastrami and Sausage – I kind of like Long Island City! S/O to Meg C

fullsizerenderI can predict that it will be congested for the next 4 years around 5th & 56th

Have a good weekend. I promise to do better!


End of May – First Mention of Gold Bond in New York City

You guys remember my post about Gold Bond and surviving the heat in a major city from last August? Well guess who reared their ugly head this past week????Summer Heat and Humidity. I have documented how I don’t think that New Yorkers have sweat glands from wearing winter coats on warm days to how some places won’t kick on the air even if the ambient temperature is in the high 80’s. You add these and the fact that “I run hot” anyway and yep, our bathroom now resembles a Columbian Cocaine Kegger!
I know that there are some of you who are in outside sales saying “Come on CBT, you big P word” it was hot in Memphis too, grow a set!” Yes Memphis humidity is “Hotter than two rats fucking in a wool sock hot” (S/O to SM aka Mr. Wizard for teaching me that statement) but trust me when I say that the radiant heat from the buildings and concrete make it just as unpleasant. Another big problem with outside sales here in Gotham that is different than Memphis is you don’t have a car AC to cool down. When I was working for HW/AMF I would blast that cold air in my Jeep between appointments to keep me from sweating through my shirt and shorts. Here we have to walk to our next appointment or worse, take a subway. Subways are great but they are underground where there is moisture and when you add heat and moisture……anyone ever walk down Middle Street in early September in San Pedro Belize? Trust me it sucks.
This past week I would leave the office, walk 10 blocks to my first appointment, lather up a good sweat and then go into the building. Thankfully my first appointment felt sorry for me and got me a glass of water. You then repeat this process 7 more times a day and you get the picture. I get back to the office and my shirt is sticking to me, my tie around my neck is now moist (love you Kaylee & Lana) and well lets just say that there is some serious chafing.  We have some guys on our team who also run hot and I looked to them for advice on how to stay cool. One guy sweats so bad he actually has a fan on his desk to keep cool but both of them told me that pretty much you have to deal with it. Walk on the shady side of the street. Schedule appointments with some ‘cool down’ at Starbucks and if at all possible stay in the same block or building. Oh and they also said to plan on spending a small fortune on dry cleaners during the summer too. Thanks guys and stay out of my drawer full of Gold Bond and deodorant.

IMG_1274Cabs help when having to go across town because you don’t know that lower Manhattan isn’t that close to Nolita

IMG_1281Hello boys, welcome back!

IMG_1286 (1)My dry cleaner loves me

Stay cool folks!

Country marries a Portugese Man-o-war 09

So you have always heard the stories of Attila the Bridezilla, or the one that the bride is sitting in the middle of a room crying because “cousin Eddie” just bumped the cake table and the expensive arse desert is now upside down? Well let me tell you if anyone had the opportunity to do this it would be Country as her and the Man o War could not catch a friggin break all weekend.
Now a little bit of history on Country as I have known her my own life, she is my parents godchild (catholic thing) and the youngest of an older sister and brother. A while back Ms Trumpet and I took her up to NYC to visit Maria for a weekend during Christmas. We had a blast and did the whole NYC eat/drink weekend and one day the girls got the Imelda Marcos bug and waunder into Sacks for some sandal and cho chopping. Since I used to be a clothes whore back in the day, I went with my Bitches and chopped too! As I come up I see Country trying on a pair of shoes as she has her right foot in a 4 inch pump colored red and is heading to the check out counter for a pair of shoes that I can imagine cost well over 500.00 for the pair. (Women I do not understand your infatuation with 4 inch heels that can cost as much as a flight to Belize) Anyway we head back to the suite after Country now hits up the fake Kate Spade purse sellers and almost spends as much on the crappy knock off bags as she did her shoes. Anyway as we are chilling in the Suite and have taken off coats and winter wear Country comes out in her sock feet and (remember the right foot in the shoe that she was trying on?) her left foot sock has a hole in it that not just one little piggy is showing but 3 of them! Needless to say we bust her balls a bit as here is a girl who just threw down 5 beans and is wearing a pair of 50 cent tube socks that have holes in them!
Anyway after 911 she gets shitcanned from her work and applies to a company and she gets an interview. This company is nationwide and we kind of throw the thought into her head that Memphis is fun but she is single, good looking and why not re-locate on someones dime. Well she chooses NYC and thankfully has a great support group and sure enough Country moves to Manhattan! After a couple of years there she then re-locates to Boston and sure enough the cowboy hat now resides in Bean town. Well fast forward and sure enough she finds a great guy and as luck would have it is Portuguese and comes from a family as big as hers (Italian) and next thing we know we are circling the 2nd weekend of June as Country is getting married!
Now the Wedding venue and reception joint (Pink Palace) has been picked, the rehearsal dinner place (her parents house in the country) is checked off, now the only thing left is to get them Yankees in town and let’s party. Well it would appear that Mother Nature wanted an invitation and when the bitch didn’t get invited she was a little pissy……To the tune of 3 tornadoes through the middle of town on Friday (Rehearsal dinner) afternoon.

Had to pull over due to the fear of getting hit by a tree!

Do I see a cow?

Now thankfully the storm passes but we now don’t have any power but in true Italian fashion we pull the tables out on the porch, ice down the beer and the party must go on! Here is Country’s brother and his wife and youngest son.

The sun came out and the kids wanted to look at the Ponies!

“Andrew, I don’t care what Mr CBT says, you can not have a Red bull and get a mo-hawk!”
BTW the little girl in the lower right corner was a darling, her parents are going to be in trouble!

The Happy Couple taking their licks from the speeches! (they weren’t bad)

The Groom’s brother busting some balls on his brother!
Now the storm passes and Saturday is a beautiful day but recall that storm on Friday? Well Mother Nature took out roughly 135,000 MLGW customers including the Pink Palace. Well Country takes it in stride and the show must go on! We move the nuptials outside and let the good times roll!

Big Brother and Big Sister of Country

Country’s NYC (and our too) friends and us!

Us and the Bride (camera was jacked up)

Hey look CBT’s dad is cutting a rug!

Pearl has had a little wine and BY GOD she deserves some!

The Bride and my Mom

It was a tad hot and even warm air was welcome but we had a blast!

The Ring Bearer getting after it!
In the end a good time was had by all and Best wishes to Country and to her Portuguese Man o War!