One should always pay proper homage to their southern roots. What does this mean folks???? A trip to the FloraBama and Waffle House!
Recall when Sean Brock and Anthony Bourdain went to Waffle House and these words were muttered?
“You don’t come here expecting the French Laundry,” Brock says. “You come here expecting something amazing.” “This is better than the French Laundry,” Bourdain replies.
No disrespect to Thomas Keller (Landlord and Mr. 3 First Names – Cover your eyes) but in the south the Waffle House kicks the shit out of French Laundry and twice on Sunday Morning! After a quick trip to the Florabama RJ and I asked our driver if they would drop us off at the Waffle House for a small meal. We arrived just before midnight and after a brief wait were ushered to a seat at the counter.
In proper respect to Sean Brock & Bourdain, I ordered a Pecan Waffle as an appetizer which puzzled RJ and settled for the 2 eggs fried, Scattered, Smothered, Covered X 2, Bacon and toast breakfast. I believe that RJ chowed down on a Philly Breakfast plate but when I recalled looking over there it was gone!
Maria – is there a Waffle House around these parts? I see a couple in PA.
Again apologies to Jenn for forgetting the hashbrowns in the Uber. I blame RJ for leaving it!
In an effort to save a little money since we are about to go on vacation we have been cooking a little more at home. Also with Geranium being on the road the last thing she really wants is food from a restaurant. For my inspiration on new dishes I have been reading Jose Andres’ book “Vegetables Unleashed”.
I really like the book and the recipes in it because cooking foods that are from a different culture really opens you up to new flavors and tastes. It is no secret that I started cooking from watching the chefs at Chez Philippe when I was a waiter there. “What do you mean that you don’t have heavy whipping cream in your fridge? How the Fuck am I to cook?” Yes I was trained to cook Classic French Cuisine. Thankfully the food shows gave me some balance but with “Vegetables Unleashed” it really puts you on notice.
For the menu we made a couple weeks back included;
Miso Roasted Asparagus (before this I had no clue what Miso was)
Microwaved Cacio y Pepe (Parents you need to make this for your kids)
Sesame Yogurt Corn on the Cob
Jose Andres’ Famous Beefsteak Tomato Sandwich
Lots of Wine and a little Tito’s
Apologies to Taco Girl who probably just fried her laptop because she was drooling on her keyboard.
Recall the post when I was bitching about cooking for one person? Well Geranium did it to me again…..she ordered another Marley Spoon on her way to Seattle. By the way L.J.Z. – I have supported your ass now for 3 years….. When are you going to send “Banker Man” to one of my eye-talian suit guys? *If you are wondering what I am talking about. There is an un-written rule for us fellow sales reps that sell tickets on the double decker buses. You always support your own*
Anyway I informed Jackie, our evening desk person, that I would be cooking for her because I had 3 meals to either cook or trash. She was excited and didn’t bring dinner last night. The order that you have to cook proteins for Marley Spoons are in this order; Seafood, Meat/Pork and Vegetarian. ****Imagine that, the food that the cow’s shit on can last longer****
Last night I made the grilled salmon and grilled vegetables with a red pepper pesto sauce. I cooked it to the recipe directions (ish) by using a cast iron skillet plate that I have had for years. If you are not sure what I am talking about it. This is a cast iron rectangle plate that has a flat side and on the other side is ribbed for her pleasure. TRANSLATION – This gives you the open flame grill marks if you are not cooking outside on a Weber charcoal grill. I made the dish to the directions and grilled the Broccoli, Squash, Red Onion and Salmon in the apartment using the plate. I take it down to Jackie and fellow peer and they are freaking out on the grill marks.
“Did you go down to the 3rd floor and use one of the outside grills? (By the way those fuckers are electric) I inform them I made it in the apartment and used a plate.
“Oh, you made this on a special plate that I will never need unless I have to cook inside, I will be fine ordering from Seamless or Uber Eats.”
I look at Jacky and ask her if she has never cooked on an open flame before. *She is originally from Barbados* and she says that she has. I told her that if I didn’t have a plate I could have made due with a bakers cookie cooling rack and my stove. It was right then that I lost the poor girl and realized that the millennial generation needs to step it up. Seriously you fuckers may starve to death if the microwave gives out or Uber Eats can’t deliver.
*Back History – I grew up in the time when there wasn’t a food network. There wasn’t a cooking demonstration at William Sonoma. There certainly wasn’t a cooking show on TV. I mean I pretty much learned how to cook watching my mother/father or the maid. However in this case, I learned how to cook at the ripe age of 23 years old from the chefs at the 4-star Chez Philippe Restaurant in the Peabody Hotel Meanwhile I while living in the Shrine Building in downtown Memphis.*
I have said many times that I am little shit. No seriously, I admit it openly. Poor Geranium, while we were dating, grew tired of eating all the Heavy Cream dishes that I would make each weekend. To my defense, I would watch the guys on the line make these dishes nightly. I would think “I could do this!” Actually, I am surprised I didn’t kill her because I later realized that the chefs would par-cook the proteins and I just watched the finishing moment. In other words, my shitwas half cooked.
“The way you make an omelet reveals your character.”
He was referring to if you bring a person home for the night you at least owe him/her a decent meal before they are about to do the “walk of shame.” Millennials you need to start paying attention. You need to go buy you some items to put in the kitchen before you buy that Cross Fit membership. Then you should start playing around with cooking by watching You Tube or a cooking show. Try your dishes on your friends or that roommate that you always hate. This way when you are ready to cook for someone special you will be ready and not burning an a simple omelet for that one-night stand. Seriously folks, eggs are sold by the dozen. I even taught the Lady Killer how to break an egg without breaking shell. I mean, you need to do this and do it with grace. Wait till his mother, *who is the author for the title of this worthless dribble* finds out I have made the lady killer more marketable.
Changing the Subject yet again – My nephew when he was 12 fucking years old made Philly Cheese Steaks for Geranium and I. He was self-taught and figured it out from watching YouTube. *Of course Geranium was right behind him but he wanted to cook and by GOD he made dinner with little to no help…..And it was good too!* People, this is not brain surgery. Go forth and learn how to feed yourself! I am not asking you to field dress a deer, I am asking you to cook a decent burger and then serve it to someone.
So, in no consequential order this is the list of items that one should have in their kitchen. Jose Andres goes big baller with a Juicer but I say do this in baby steps. So here is what I say you need;
Bottom Line is Try Different Stuff.
Try to cook something other than your normal drunk food.
And if you have a new Kitchen Toy or recipe please don’t be bashful. I love things that are different.
I recall it like it was yesterday. The first text came from GrainbinGirl at like 7:AM (6:AM Memphis Time) then the next came from Pepe. “Anthony Bourdain was gone and by his own hand.” *Disclaimer – I have lost many a good friend and family member by their own hand. This post is not in any way shape or form trying to speak of this horrible disease. Sadly it takes too many good people*
So the loss of Antony Bourdain has bothered me for a while. Now that I have just finished up on a whirlwind tour with Shawna (yeah, I am serious when I use real names) I miss him even more.
For this post I plan on speaking about some of Tony’s quotes that I hold dear to my heart. His friend Jose Andres said it best in his latest book in the tribute;
“To our friend Anthony Bourdain, who
spent his life planting seeds”
That man put a bunch of seeds in my head and I owe it to him to make them grow and experience some of what he got to see. Let’s be honest….the Cock Sucker had the best life in the world and I am so grateful that I can try to do as much as I can!!! Enough with the chatter. Here are my favorite Bourdain Quotes in no sequential order and some notes;
changes you. As you move through this life and this world you change things
slightly, you leave marks behind, however small. And in return, life — and
travel — leaves marks on you.” –
Loved my trip to a small town in Switzerland. You don’t get the same experience
in the larger towns. Here I was just an American who couldn’t speak French and
didn’t know I needed to bring a bag.
you’re twenty-two, physically fit, hungry to learn and be better, I urge you to
travel – as far and as widely as possible. Sleep on floors if you have to. Find
out how other people live and eat and cook. Learn from them — wherever you go.” – Or if you are 49 years old do this
and load up on the ADVIL! I am not going to lie, the travel I did to see Shawna
was tough but I look back and loved every minute of it!
“The journey is part of the experience — an expression of the seriousness of one’s intent. One doesn’t take the A train to Mecca.” – I landed at Heathrow exhausted but figured out the Tube Schedule, walked my ass through the rain and got to the hotel. I could have wimped out and paid a King’s Ransom for a Black Car but what is the point if you aren’t going to see and experience Rush Hour into London on a Friday?
“I’m a big believer in winging it. I’m also a big believer that you are never going to find perfect city travel experience or the perfect meal without a constant willingness to experience a bad one. Letting the happy accident happen is what a lot of vacation itineraries miss, I think, and I’m always trying to push people to allow those things to happen rather than stick to some rigid itinerary.” – This was 100% Barcelona! I only had a list from The Notorious NFG but it was going to be a total wing it. I love that town. I want to go back and I want to go back now.
heavily with locals whenever possible.” – No Comment
learn a lot about someone when you share a meal together.” – Loved our visit
with English Mike & Ellie as well as our visit with The Tour Agent and Curly
Sue in Switzerland. I know that our paths will cross again and when it does. I
plan on picking up from where we left off.
body is not a temple, it’s an amusement park. Enjoy the ride.” – It is very well documented that I
smoke cigars, drink alcohol on occasion, and need a cholesterol pill. Sure, I try
to keep myself leaning towards the cleaner side of life but what’s the point of
living if you can’t slide down butt naked on a sheet of ice. Yes, I ordered the
damn goose liver and I loved it!
“I learned a long time ago that trying to micromanage the perfect vacation is always a disaster. That leads to terrible times.” – I am hoping she never reads this but I so disagree with Z-Squared and her guerrilla vacation tactics. I love her to death and will be that “3AM phone call guy to come bury a body” guy but I can’t vacation with her. Let that shit roll off the back.
And will I finish with this one. I will always have the deepest respect and love for Ernie and Lynn Mellor for giving an out of work carnie a job.
“Barbecue may not be the road to world peace, but it’s a start.” – Nothing is better than standing over a hot smoker busting balls and or discussing life. I am always appreciate of the visits with the Asian Fireman in Woodlawn.
So, if you have not figured out by my already 900 words this is telling you to go out and explore. It doesn’t have to be in a different country. It can be in a different part of your home town.
All you have to do is be friendly, be respectful and always be humble.
Rest in peace Tony. I am still pissed I didn’t get to drink with you at Billy Mark but that is more for a selfish reason.
To honor you I will try to see as much of this world as you did.
To my 7 out of 15 readers who are not from Memphis; there is a DJ in Memphis who would scream her battle cry “Its Friday Bitches!” on Fridays when she opened her show. Naturally “The Lady Killer’s” best buddy, Christopher Blaine Jarman would bring it down a notch and just say “It’s Friday Snitches” because he was the afternoon guy and he knew that kids were in the cars at that time. Shout out to the Jar!
I have had a couple of people ask me what the hell is going on since I have been on a Blog writing tear lately. What can I say, when Geranium is back in town the world revolves better. Thank you to all of you who commented on my Say No To The Bag/Styrofoam post because that has been on my mind for a couple of days since my return from Switzerland. Actually last night I went down to Target to get a couple of things and naturally I brought my Old Lady Cart and LL Bean bag. The cashier informed me she is required to put scanned items into a bag because it is a security issue. This is going to break TCB’s Mom’s heart but Target is a huge contributor of plastic bag waste. Even though I was putting the bagged items in my buggy the bitch still double bagged it. I counted 16 plastic bags after I got home. They got to do better!
Anyway here are some pictures that I have taken for the past 3 weeks.
22 years of marriage on Saturday, Momma got home on Thursday, and we had a 3 day weekend – Maya and I were happy! This is going to be more of a Friday Picture post. That being said;
Hope you have a good week folks. Be thankful that it is only 4 days. Oh and Geranium is leaving my ass to head to Seattle today as well. She gets back on Friday and she is going to meet me at Andi’s bar at Baker Street in the UES.
Would it have killed one of you Fuckers to remind me that today is the day that Mary Louise returns? I have been busy AF getting the house back to normal. I just found the dog buried under a pile of dirty clothes – Throw that shit away…..the dirty clothes, not the dog. Get the printer table cut down so Geranium can work from her work station or she isn’t going to be happy. Where is the fucking toilet brush???? No time, just use her Quip Toothbrush and get another one later this afternoon. Now I got swing by the bank and pay all the neighbors off for the month long Robo-Palooza festivities we have been having. She asked me to text Maria to get her a hair appointment. Maria you got help a brother out and say you have been too busy to respond to me!
I am kidding folks. I am ready to see my wife. I am ready to spend a nice weekend with her. I am ready to make no plans this weekend with her. I am proud of her for this experiment. I am very gracious that I was able to see her 2 times during her 32 day trip and I am ready for her to be State Side for the next 180 days!
So my good friend GrainbinGirl and I share a little obsession together. We stalk the F out of chefs and try to garner seats at restaurants that are the talk of the town. Every January we kick ourselves that we did not attend the Caymen Cookout with all the celebrity chefs but in fairness the price tag does make that a hard trip to swallow. Please note that before we moved to New York she had a sizeable lead on me with regards to chef sightings. That immediately changed
When we moved to the UES it was actually her who figured out that Eric Ripert was one of my neighbors and right after that discovery I ran into him. No seriously, Monkey Head Maddy blind as a bat, actually walked right into him on E71st street. As you can imagine he was petrified that he hurt her and picked her up and petted her. Since then we dined at a couple really cool joints and I rubbed it in to her but not to be a complete dick I did get her a book from Ripert.
When I found out that Jose Andres was going to be signing his new book at his new joint in Hudson Yards I messaged the Murphranks to see if they wanted to join. This was right after my return from Barcelona and Mr. 3 First Names responded that I must have really enjoyed Spain since I was now “Everything Spain”. I booked the tickets and last night we headed down to Hudson Yards to check it out.
To say that Jose Andres is a huge celebrity is not an exaggeration. To say that Jose Andres is a humanitarian doesn’t scratch the surface. To allude that Jose Andres isn’t passionate about life and about food you must have never watched of Bourdain’s shows. And what I also love about him is that he is one of the only chefs in the world to currently be sued by a sitting US President. Yeah, he hates Trump as much as I do. Actually who carries a red wine on tap at his restaurant in Hudson Yards called “Democrat”? But of course Jose Andres does.
Adam Rapport from Bon Appetite was the moderator but was more of a “keep things on track” and the back and forth between Andres and Matt Goulding was hilarious. When I say that you really should have been there it is an understatement. I mean who else can total a rental car in Barcelona and say to the rental car employee who is having a come-apart “But I am Jose Andres and I must get to Madrid” and they are thanking him? Jose did mention Anthony Bourdain during one of the questions but I loved this comment the best;
“I am a vegetarian, I mean look at me. I am as big as a cow and I got this way from eating only vegetables.”
And don’t worry GrainbinGirl. There is a FedEx delivery heading your way tomorrow. #RoboCares
What is the old saying, you ride her until she bucks you or you don’t ride her at all. (I am talking about riding a horse you sick fuckers) That is what happened to me on my last leg of my 3rd international trip in the past 60 days. That my friends is a good damn run if I don’t say so myself. Let me explain.
To get to Geranium over in Neuchatel Switzerland it goes down like this;
Subway from Brooklyn to Penn Station
New Jersey Transit to Newark International Airport Train Station
Air Train to Terminal C
United Flight from EWR to GVA (That is Geneva for you non airport people)
SBB CFF FFS Train from Geneva to Neuchatel
Walk down a ridiculously steep hill that you will now worry about on your return trip into town.
Boom you are there. Total Travel Time – 10 hours give or take
So my return was a little tricky. The flight from GVA to EWR was at an hour that would have made me get up at an ungodly hour on Sunday and the SBB CFF FFS Train was running local so it would have been worse. I found a GVA to Washington Dulles that wasn’t bad and the commuting flight from IAD to EWR was still open. There was another direct flight from GVA to JFK but it was fairly booked so that was my back up plan if I couldn’t get on the Washington DC flight.
So the return trip looked like this;
Bus up ridiculously steep hill from town to Neuchatel train station
SBB CFF FFS Train from Neuchatel to Geneva
United Flight from GVA to IAD
Clear Customs walk to the gate for IAD to EWR flight.
Find out that you are in position #20 and there are only 8 available seats. TRANSLATION – YO ASS AIN’T GETTING ON THIS FLIGHT
Find that there are only 2 remaining flights from IAD to EWR/LGA and they look fairly full.
Uber from IAD to Union Station to take Amtrak.
Amtrak from Union Station to Penn Station
Find out that original flight is now delayed 55 minutes due to weather
Arrive Penn Station at roughly the same time I would have if I actually got a seat on that booked flight.
Subway to Nevins Street
Hug and Kiss Maya! Total Travel Time – 19.5 hours and out train ticket ($200.00) and Uber Pool to Train station ($40.00)
Folks that is a win in my book! I told my former Domestic Work Wife that you have to get creative when traveling. Not only do you have to find additional flights and where hidden cities are you may have to rely on back up cities and train back in. We are talking seeing the Matrix kind of shit here folks.
Long Story Short – be flexible and always have a plan for back up. It was great seeing Geranium even if it was a short trip. I got to see Neuchatel. We went over to Lausanne on Saturday and met up with some of her work peeps who are Ex-Pats here for at least 3 months. Oh and we drank some beer! Thankfully Geranium returns this Thursday!