Bless Your Heart

14 days can make one two week…..

I know I should keep my day job because of that groan’r. No it isn’t Lent just yet as my yearly Lenten tradition of providing you with corny kid jokes on The Book of Face. For 14 days (hopefully ending today) in a row we have had below freezing temps in Gotham. This past weekend it was BSC (Ball Shrinking Cold) as with the wind chill from the East River temps were below freezing and were -1 to -15 degrees.

Yes I know that Memphis had some cold weather and there are some who have to pay a plumber and even some of my San Pedro folks were bitching but give me a break. When you have to put more layers than an onion to take the dogs out you know it is cold. Hopefully today (Tuesday) the temps get above freezing and we break the streak. We had snow last Thursday and for all of you who think that the snow in New York is so pretty have obviously never been here a couple of days after it snows. The snow turns into New York Snow aka dirty and smelly.

IMG_2532You know it is going to be bad when they send out alerts because of weather.

IMG_2519What the Hell are These Things Used For?

IMG_2524Thanks to UWS Holly for this Gem of information. Get you a cheap pair of snow goggles during a Cyclone Bomb. Blowing Snow into your eyes sucks but wearing these helps.

IMG_2523Oh look how pretty 1st Avenue is. Yeah it sucks!

53677705979__45D17950-2FF6-4AF6-B990-81795E5E223FSnow on our window.

IMG_2537Afterwards the sidewalks are shoveled but normally you lose a couple feet to the piles of snow. This makes for lots of bottlenecks during rush hour. Especially at the corners which aren’t plowed.

IMG_2546It can be a mess if you are parked on the right side of the street. That’s where the plows push the snow. Aka your car will get blocked in! Recall that shovel in the earlier picture?

IMG_2535This dog loved the snow. Our dogs…not so much!

IMG_2538Here is what sucks about plowed streets. I can’t jaywalk as easy unless I want to mountain goat up and over the ice mountain.

IMG_2520Best Part of Thursday during the snow storm!

Hope you had a good one!

 

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The 242nd US Marine Corps Birthday

Being a tour bus ticket seller to the tourists I have some killer perks. In addition to all the office supplies that I can steal I get invited to some really neat events. This time we were invited to sit at a table in our fancy clothes for the 242nd Birthday of the Marine Corps. I was able to get a ticket for Mrs. Trumpet so she got her fancy dress on too. It was a great event and although I can’t publish all the pictures (work people) I will share a couple great ones with you. Happy Birthday Marine Corps.

IMG_2139The US Marine Corps Band

IMG_2149Here are some of the fellas posing for a picture. Wait something looks out of place….

IMG_2151Yep, here is Mrs. Trumpet photo bombing the boys!

Have a good day!

Maine is for Lovers – CBT takes his show on the road

One of Mrs. Trumpet’s work people took a trip up to Portland Maine this fall and was telling her about how neat the trip was. We have been sitting on our hands for a while since momma’s school schedule has been fairly tough and we were ready to get out of town for a weekend. I was in when I was told two things that peaked my interest; cheap beer & cold water lobster. We decided on the second weekend in November knowing that the weather was going to be a crapshoot.

Yeah it was cold on Friday and Saturday in Maine. But you know what, it was cold as balls in New York last weekend too! Hour long flight and we were at our hotel in downtown Portland. We made our way to the local bar and then headed to one of the places that was highly recommended for a proper Lobstah dinner. Now it has taken me 47 years and momma 29 years (see what I did there KLCMan) to come to a stark realization; we actually prefer Cold Water Lobster over Caribbean/Warm lobster. Here is another one that Mrs. Trumpet came to the realization on this trip. She prefers New England/salt water oysters over gulf oysters.

Now let me further set the records straight. Portland Maine fucking rocks! The people up there well…..they do speak funnier than New Yorkers but talk about some of the nicest folks! The price of beer and food is much cheaper than what we find here in New York but so is the cost of living. The little shops that we walked into had items that weren’t “New York Priced” and that can be contributed to the lower cost of rent and taxes. We found the shop owners to be pleasant and very helpful. Naturally the question of where we were from was asked as they picked up on our accents but that is ok. I never said that I had to take a Wicked Pissah!

IMG_2159Pro Tip – Always take a picture of your room number so when you come back “tired” you don’t look like a schmo when trying to recall your room.

IMG_2160Pay no attention to that Bud Light on the left of the pic. I had local beers, I promise

IMG_2167This was a nice touch during the Veterans Parade. Take a hat if you needed one!

IMG_2168Anyone need some funny socks? This was a whole store devoted to funny socks!

IMG_2169There is a ton of pride for the residents of Maine. I now get it!

IMG_2171Had some neat nik-naks in a lot of the stores

IMG_2174No Nova there wasn’t any fecking snow on the ground!

IMG_2178Man they love some oysters up there! Best ones that we had that weekend were Pemaquid, Flying Point and John’s River

IMG_2183To say that the seafood was fresh is an understatement.

IMG_2192I mean who doesn’t love cheap oysters!

IMG_2195Rather strange to see, they used half gallons instead of liter bottles.

IMG_21963 bucks a beer! RJ you see this!

IMG_2200Bruised and battered and we are heading home!

Yep KLCMan, we will be back in the summer and we may bring TQ with us too! We had a blast!

More Pics of the Trip – Lady Killer and Ba take Manhattan 3.0

So this trip we did a couple things differently. For one we took the subway a little bit more considering we have the wonderful Q Line. Ba wasn’t too thrilled about taking the Subway. No she isn’t a public transportation snob. She was a little taken aback that once she stepped into the subway car half of the people sitting jumped up and offered her their seat. We did giggle a little about this during the trip.

IMG_1993While we were being delayed due construction I snapped a pic of Lady Killer on his iFoam

IMG_1994Here is a pic of Sissy playing Candy Crush sitting next to The Lady Killer

IMG_1995And here is Ba also on her iFoam while we waited 11 stories below ground. At least they all were acting like New Yorkers and avoided eye contact with the crazy people!

IMG_2003Good Times at Peter Lugar with the Family!

IMG_2006Normally everything in Shobo’s hand looks huge but not when you are comparing your hand to Kevin Durant. #TWSS

IMG_1998I need to come over for one of the lunch specials.

Like I said, a good time was had by all!

Lady Killer and Ba Take Manhattan 3.0

So back when we told the family that we were moving up to Manhattan there were mixed reactions. Naturally The Lady Killer, nephew, was luke warm at the thought of visiting us up here. Granted the kid was 10 but his list was pretty much the same as a lot of first time tourists;

  • Empire State (nope)
  • Jimmy Fallon Show (sorry dude you have to be 18 to see the show)
  • Ice Skating at Rockefeller Center (we ain’t visiting the ER this trip dude)
  • Statue of Liberty (how about a trip on the Staten Island Ferry instead)
  • 9/11 Memorial, Wall Street, Stock Exchange, Bull (think we got 2 of 4 knocked out)
  • Times Square (you must want a punch in the throat)
  • Nike Town (oh someone must have been on “the google”)
  • Gap in Times Square (just seeing if you are still paying attention)

Since this trip was the 3rd trip for Ba and the Lady Killer we had added trips to Stadium Goods and Fight Club. If you are not sure what those stores are, get a load of this shit. If you want to find a pair of those Patrick Ewing Georgetown Nike’s that were all the rage back in 1985? I am sure one of these stores has them but you better bring your wallet because you are going to pay a pretty penny for them. This trip Lady Killer didn’t get any fancy old school shoes but he did swing by The NBA Store and NikeTown to get some swag.

IMG_1979Tortured J-Bob a little in saying that it was going to be closed during the weekend for cleaning. He didn’t buy it!

IMG_2009Lady Killer and Cuz AL (in addition to shaving that shit off his upper lip we are going to work on his smiling)

IMG_2010How can I snub someone who came to Patrizias to celebrate their birthday. I may be an asshole but I am not an insensitive one. *photo credit to AL

IMG_1999Lady Killer and “My Aunt Bette” – Again dude why no smile? Oh and next trip we are cutting the Bama Bangs a little.

IMG_2002Bacon and Tomatoes – What else do you eat at Peter Lugar?

IMG_2004Oh yeah, I had a mild chubby when they brought this sucker to the table. Pro-Tip – save some bread for the meat juice.

IMG_2005The View of one of the shoe walls at Flight Club. Please note that this picture was taken while I was sitting my big ass on a bench.

We had a fun time! Come back next summer and we can take you to Coney Island!

You want a burger?

Recall when I went to grab a burger with FZ while the girls were slugging wine like it were their jobs having wine club? I may have found a very good contender to knock Le Parker off the pedestal. Since the Losers Lounge show was starting at 9:30 we decided to grab dinner prior. The restaurant at Joe’s Pub is so-so and very expensive so I told Mrs. Trumpet we would explore the East Village before the show.

We walked down the street and found Paul’s Da Burger Joint on Second Avenue. It was dimly lit, looked like you needed a tetanus shot just to walk in the joint so it was perfect. We grabbed a table and within seconds 2 Bud Lights appeared. Mrs. Trumpet went for the sliders as all the burgers are half a pound. I opted for the “Soul Burger” in memory of that little burger joint on South Main. The “Soul Burger” is a half pound burger cooked with fried onions, cheese and ham, lettuce and tomato are optional. Sorry Rock-Mo and Andy, the don’t have a Greek Burger on the menu.

Let me tell you, the burger is legit! I snapped some pictures of the boys cooking the burgers (it does resemble Ernestine & Hazels) and it did remind me of home. We shall be back.

IMG_1926Established in 1989 – Hell New Jersey Dave was born that year! Its as old as him!

IMG_1927No Seth I am not going to ‘relocate’ this for you. Come up here and steal it yourself.

IMG_1921Mock all you will, I am loyal to those boys in St. Louis!

IMG_1920Looks like the counter was painted by a 6th grade class

IMG_1922You got to love torn up bar stools.

IMG_1923Doesn’t it resemble E&H’s on South Main?

IMG_1924Using the Cake Toppers to cook the burgers, that was unique.

FZ – We can go down there when the girls get their wine on!

 

Dude, where have you been? Pics on a Humpday!

It is either Feast or Famine. I am ‘En Fuego” or I ‘Suck Cock’ according to A4532 (I am kind of excited I have hate/fan mail from the same person) Shout out to you A4532! Anyway here are some mid week pictures for you. And naturally thanks for reading this worthless dribble.

IMG_1763So we sell a 3 pack of 2X5’s here up here. Why didn’t I realize this sooner?

IMG_1767Yo Chef! How about some love when we try to get a table at your joint on W51st street? *Mrs. Trumpet was very happy about this picture in that this was the first time she saw Eric Ripert in the UES*

IMG_1725A ‘Southern Grocery? Tell me more son.

IMG_1724It may not work up here. I get beat up all the time when I say these phrases. Good Luck buddy!

IMG_1730See the red border pic? We now have 2 portraits behind the bars of fine establishments now.

IMG_1742Is that Mother Fucker wearing Tennis Shoes on his morning commute? F you dude!

IMG_1780This was the 3rd train that I stood online waiting to ‘try’ to get onboard. And this was a Tuesday. #CBTwaslatetowork #Andfuckingpissed #Twitterwasablaze

IMG_1789Shout out to LZ for making me ‘drink on the street’ this past Friday. If you look up in the middle of this pic you can see a half ball to the right of the building. That is the New Years Eve Ball for 2018. And Just think we only have 3 more years till Trump is gone!

Oh and “A4532: do me a favor….Go Fuck Yourself! Don’t make me Michael Rapaport ‘Shame” you…..You Dumb Motherfucker!

Happy Wednesday!

 

 

The Mother of all Eye-Talian Festivals – San Gennaro Festival

Go ahead and make your snide comment why don’t you. I get it all the time; You look Irish, sound like you are from Texas but you have vowel at the end of your last name so you are Eye-Talian? If you are a New York Italian and grew up here you probably have a San Gennaro Festival story of some sort. Even with the shrinking Little Italy this festival is everything that you dream about.

The festival is a celebration of Faith to the Patron Saint of Naples, Italy and is a festive atmosphere with tons of food, and religions processions. It also is a fundraiser for the Figli di San Gennaro the not for profit organization that gives  to neighborhood schools, parishes and other charities. TRANSATION – You eat and drink a little too much but it is ok because it helps the kids, capiche?

Mrs. Trumpet and I headed down there on Saturday afternoon after my trip to the grocery store and as expected, it was asshole to elbow. The main part of the festival is on Mulberry street so the local businesses and restaurants put out tents to allow patrons to purchase food or drink. With the tents and the people, it is mobbed (see what I did there KLC Man and RMT?)  so we ducked into a local bar on Spring street to have a rest and beer. Oh and yes, I tried a couple dishes and even Mrs. Trumpet got her a corn dog that unfortunately, wasn’t very good. A good time was had by all!

IMG_1721But before we start with the pictures, let’s take a selfie like the kids do.

IMG_1710For any Fundraiser you got to have rides for the kids. Thankfully we left the Little Bastid at home so we had beer money instead.

IMG_1711Little Man riding the Jumping Star was a hoot, he was having the best time and was commanding a good audience too!

IMG_1712The Bracciole they make up here isn’t like I was used to from the Giovanni’s days.

IMG_1713Trust me when I say it was way more crowded than this picture lets on.

IMG_1714Toasted Rav – I have had better but hey one has to eat something right?

IMG_1716I bet that you can get a decent line on the Notre Dame game in here.

IMG_1717You get a free pass if you drink at a Church event.

IMG_1719We were in search of a clean bathroom and cold beer

IMG_1718No it isn’t a Bud Light, you have to go Native down in Little Italy and have a Peroni

IMG_1723No Jackass we aren’t taking a pic of you, we are taking a pic of the meat in tube form on a stick.

IMG_1722S/O to my work Wife

IMG_1726Since we were good and gave to the church we decided to head over to Milano’s Bar on Houston Street for some Bud Light. That and “I know a guy” who used to own it too!

IMG_1728Classic New York drink – Beer and a shot

Not a bad way to spend a Saturday

 

 

Drinks on the Water – Sunday Funday Pictures

Two Sundays back the Murphranks, the Work Wife, EA, Mrs. Trumpet and I decided to take advantage of a nice day and went down to Pier A in Battery Park. The weather was classic and here are some pics from our trip.

IMG_1434Found this Gem at Stone and Broad down in the Financial District.

IMG_1437Shout out to my favorite Coors Light Drinker!

IMG_1439Here is when Mr. 3 First Names started spewing hate – I reminded him that Staten Island had it’s own Ferry.

IMG_1436The Statue of Liberty

IMG_1440The Sunset was spectacular that Sunday

IMG_1441It doesn’t Suck down here

IMG_1442The Statue at Sunset

IMG_1443Ellis Island at sunset

How was your Sunday Funday?

 

Pictures from the Week

These pics are in no particular order. Have a good weekend.

IMG_1449Why Hello Jeffrey the Husband of Barefoot Contessa. Yep Grainbin Girl is now really going to hate me!

IMG_1400So when you don’t wash your hair for at least a year this is what happens to you.

IMG_1457I am so with this! They did it to me and I couldn’t walk for a year!

IMG_1414I bet that this would be great at the Board Meetings in South Bluffs

IMG_1408Picked up a 36’r for the trip home from the Bronx.

Have a good weekend folks. Be nice to each other!