Brooklyn Baby

Weekends in New York can really suck ya know?

You recall when I was whining like a little bitch talking on Monday about having MPH and I was glad it was back to work? I better give you the cliff notes because if I went went blow by blow on each night then some of you may want to have an intervention. Trust me when I say that the RJ Fun-O-Meter was pegged pretty much every night.

Friday Night was the wedding and dance recital of Z(Squared) at the Boat House in Central Park. The Asian Fireman and Realtor Wife were in attendance as well as Muphranks. The Work Wife (The Managing one) was there with her Midtown Uniform wearing husband as well as a bunch of other Time Square double decker tour bus ticket sales reps. The wedding was short, to the point and everyone said yes. The food, the never emptying glasses of wine, the band, and even dancing were a great and then when the glow sticks came out……aww shit it was on like Donkey Kong!!! Many thanks to Lady Barrister for remaining awake to navigate our safe arrival to Downtown Brooklyn. I hope that Mary Louise didn’t snore too bad. Truth be told Mr. 3 First Names and I weren’t really sleeping, we were just resting our eyes. Congrats to Z(squared) on making it legal and thanks for a great party.

Hey D(squared) at AMF/HQ on Tully Street in Crime-Free New Chicago – call me this week. I saw a really cool thing at this party that you may want to consider it for your next Thanksgiving Wedding. #RoboCares

Saturday day was spent relaxing and celebrating Mary Louie’s anniversary of circling the sun. That evening we attended the Losers Lounge rendition of Barry Manilow & Bette Midler. I learned something very important about this show. Apologies to my homosexual readers but I found out that I really don’t like the music of Barry Manilow. I mean other than Copacabana his stuff is just crap. Here is where I am going to further upset you more – any rendition of Bette Midler and the movie “Beaches” really needs to Fucking Stop also.

Sunday was spent yet again with a music theme and as luck would have it we got to hang with Vivian Longstreet and Della Forte again. We saw them Saturday night and then when we arrived at the Barclays for Phil Collins they were also in the same suite we were in. Phil Collins was great and his voice is the same and even though he was recuperating from back surgery which slowed him down a bit his 17 year old son played the Drums. Great Show and we were glad that we decided to attend the show.

IMG_4467Yep, we are in Black Tie heading to the event stuck in traffic

IMG_4469I am so glad that Mr. 3 First Names, Asian Fireman and I sat down at someone else’s table because the amount of glassware full of booze is really appalling. We all drank mineral water that night.

IMG_4473You can always tell a good night out by what you purchase the next day for lunch. Work Wife (Managing One) got World Famous Halal guys on Saturday. We opted for $50 worth of greasy Mexican Food and a nap.

IMG_4477Pregame dinner and drinks before Losers Lounge

IMG_4482Anna Copacabana singing what else? Copacabana and it was great.

Image-1Yes that was Phil singing “In the Air Tonight” after the drum solo! Boom!

IMG_4500Whole Band Killing It. If you can see a show I highly encourage you to go see him.

Like I said it really was a shitty weekend in New York. I hope that we get to do it again.

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Maya – You want to go “outside”?

I bet if Maya could read this worthless dribble she would be saying; “Nope I am good, I am looking forward to taking a nap!” What Maya didn’t realize when we asked her if she wanted to go outside that we were going to head down to Dumbo (Down Under Manhattan Bridge Overpass) for the day. She already had a big day by going to the UES to get groomed and then she got to get out and stretch her little legs.

To get down to Dumbo from our home you take the 2/3 Train. I guess I can never be a Supreme Court Justice because we broke the MTA law and didn’t put her in a bag or enclosure. She was tucked in Mary Louise’s arms and was very content making the 3 subway stops to Clarke Street. Once we got out we let her walk and I have to admit that I was concerned how she was going to do with crowds and lots of feet with her 9 inches off the ground. She did pretty good. She would follow me as we walked around and would hide between our legs when we stopped to look around.

IMG_4354Wait you mean I have a choice? I can stay here or go walk 6.6 miles today? Fuck You Paul and Mary Louise!

IMG_4361But First we have to take a Selfie

IMG_4362By the Brooklyn Bridge

IMG_4365The Carousel down on the waterfront. And no I am not going to insult your intelligence by saying “This is Jane’s Carousel made by the Philadelphia Toboggan Company” You can read that shit yourself.

IMG_4367Beautiful day for a wedding. These two got married by the banks of the East River.

IMG_4368Resting having a beer and glass of wine admiring the view before heading home.

IMG_4369Here is that Pizza Place they talk about. The line was long to say the least.

IMG_4370To say that Maya was worn out is an understatement.

And before you drop a line and call the ASPCA on my ass know that she stayed in on Sunday.

Don’t Rock The Boat – Losers Lounge takes to the Hudson

You have heard about our many visits to Joe’s Pub to see The Losers Lounge. During the summer the Losers traditionally take a break and don’t perform but kick back up in the fall months. The next show is next month but there was a special performance that Vivian and Stone had purchased tickets and suggested that we attend. The show was a Disco Themed and it was on the Circle Line boat.

Joe and the Losers didn’t disappoint at all! Playing all the hits and with the backdrop of Manhattan you get the picture. It was cool as crap!

IMG_4341Fun Times with the Gang!

IMG_4311Still never gets old looking at this view

IMG_4319But First Let’s take a Selfie!

IMG_4315Of Course they had Karaoke Set up!

IMG_4321Aunt Terry I can’t believe you didn’t even acknowledge us!

IMG_4332Brooklyn Bridge Shot

IMG_4331Connie and Katia

IMG_4326Great show and lots of fun!

IMG_4334Nice “Action Shot” of the Empire State Building from the West Side

Thanks to Vivian and Stone for suggesting we do this. It was lots of fun

The Carl Lipbalm Memorial Scholarship Winner Comes to The Big Apple

Remember back 2 years ago when we had one of our niece’s come up to celebrate her graduating from High School. So we had a cousin aka “Love Bug” come up this past weekend. The agenda for the past weekend was dinner Thursday Night. Bum around town on Friday and have dinner with the other cousin in downtown Brooklyn. Saturday a play was in order and then we would figure out dinner.

We really had a great time spending the weekend with “Love Bug” and naturally watching her experience a lot of things that we now take for granted up here. “Love Bug” had a blast and she found out a couple of things; Raw Oysters on the half shell are a hard no. Breaded and Baked Clams ala Patrizias of Brooklyn are also frowned upon. But I am happy to report that escargot from Blue Ribbon gets a pass and she loved street meat from The Hallal Guys.

The weekend was fun and we had a blast with her. Thanks to her momma and daddy for letting us hang out with her.

IMG_4154Love Bug Takes on The Big Apple and Times Square!

IMG_4155The closest that I made it to a Broadway musical! That is Mary Louise’s job!

IMG_4156All kidding aside Times Square is still pretty cool and has an undeniable energy about it!

IMG_4163Getting a slice at Joe’s Pizza! Can’t get anymore Authentic NYC than this!

IMG_4166Here Love Bug is about to take down here first Raw Oyster!

IMG_4167Unfortunately I don’t have the picture of her reaction when she put the ‘snot like’ oyster in her mouth. She was a good sport by trying it! I mean they don’t have an abundance of saltwater oysters in Northwest Arkansas!

IMG_4174“Wait we are going to an intersection in Midtown Manhattan to have lunch?”

IMG_4176We made our way downtown by Trinity Church/The 911 Church and she found some old dead guy’s grave. For those of you wondering – the white grave is Alexander Hamilton’s grave. I hear he had a play written about him.

IMG_4184Wait it isn’t my birthday……

IMG_4183Let us Celebrate “Love Bug’s” fake birthday!

IMG_4187The Traffic here really bites you know Uncle CBT? Why didn’t you get me an Uber for Helicopters?

IMG_4190I can see my house from here! Sadly the day we went to the roof it was overcast but I am sure that some good snaps were taken.

Come back anytime Love Bug but make sure that you don’t tell your little brother about what goes on in New York. Next year is his turn.

Pictures of the Week – Labor Day Shenanigans

Sorry I haven’t been doing my job lately, the abbreviated week and the start of school has kept us busy. Hope everyone is happy that College Football is back in the swing of things and that now the NFL is about to start back up too. Here are some pics from this past Labor Day weekend.

IMG_4113I think that if I didn’t wear my traditional Seersucker Suit on the last Friday of the summer my team would revolt.

IMG_4119I wonder what Asshole lives in this eyesore. View from the Murphrank’s roofdeck.

IMG_4122Believe it or not we didn’t stage this picture. Maya could have been trying to cuddle up with Rocky because she was afraid of the humans. I think this was when Bobcat decided to ‘take a nap’!

IMG_4129She is as happy as a cat in a canary store.

IMG_4130“Oh sure you can sit on the throne and wear those funny crowns and let you believe that you are the boss of us.” #saidnooneever

IMG_4110BEFORE YOU START JUDGING ME – Not one bottle of this is mine (I only buy half gallons & Mary Louise’s maintenance wine comes in standard bottles) but I wondered if the old drunk South Bluff Neighbor moved into our building.

IMG_0505First Day of School for The Little Bastid! He is growing so tall!

IMG_4149We are those people who now take our dog to bars. In New York if a bar doesn’t serve food then dogs are welcome. Maya likes the bars in Boerum Hill.

This weekend we have The Carl Lipbalm Memorial Caddy Scholarship winner in town so I am sure we will have some fun pics to share with you next week. Keep it light.

Lay off Fuckers! I have been busy!

Welcome to another Sunday Evening post from Carbunkle Trumpet/Paul Allen where he may (or may not) have been enjoying some Sunday Funday while he was compiling this.  Anyway I have still have a couple posts brewing and I will do better this week but here are some pics I have that I can share with you;

moments_08_03_18_03_32These are the faces of people who were tormenting me last week. I will get you all back, I promise.

IMG_3950Booze may or may not have been drank at this joint this week. TQ you were missed. Next time!

IMG_3933Note to Self – NEVER EVER EVER FUCKING PISS OFF NOVA! Seriously this is some funny shit and I will wear it on occasion up here in Liberal New York!

IMG_3948Yes I posted the same pic again from the Featured Picture! Congrats to my Bar Wife on getting gainful employment up here in the North East! I can’t wait to hear her bitch about the winters up here. She doesn’t know what she is in for up here.

And yes folks it is Elvis Week! *EP gets his own billing*

IMG_3946Always impressive

IMG_3902Again I am not on a Fucking BBQ Team! By the way to my 21 readers – please tune into the Food Network on Tuesday night for the BBQ Edition of Chopped. I happen to know “A Guy” on that show!

IMG_3928These two may be the reason that I didn’t post much last week. Love them both to death but never get into a Vodka Drinking contest with them. Nobody will win!

Have a good week and I promise I will do better this week.

 

CBT!

Strike up the Band We have lived on these Rocks for 3 years!

Wow! Another Year has come to pass and yet here I am still banging away on this laptop. I celebrate this milestone because I haven’t gotten hit by that crosstown bus or fallen ass over teacup down a bilco door. Sadly, I celebrate this 3rd birthday solo while right now Mary Louise is heading on a Ferry to another island down in Mexico with the MoHo’s. No I am not bitter about this one bit. I promise.

In her absence I have been writing this post in my head for a couple of days and I  have to say how humble I am that we are still plugging along in a city that could possibly eat us alive. I have always said that there are two things here in The Empire State that I always run out of; time and money. This year has been a whirlwind and I can’t believe it has been 3 years from when we rolled up to 1300 First Avenue and emptied our contents into the UES. This year there have been some major changes to our lives this year and l have always said that sometimes change is good.

In the past year some of our friends have also followed suit and made moves from familiar Memphis surroundings and dipped their toe into new cities and regions. I always tell them from our experiences that right now there may be tears of uncertainty but each day and week things will normalize and level out. I still look back and say to myself that if you told me 3 years and change that I would be living in New York and love each day of it I would have told you that you are crazy as hell. I am serious when I say that this was the best thing that we have done in our adult lives. The experiences and things that we have and continue to learn about have been amazing. Much like Anthony Bourdain told us on each show was that we need to explore and try out new things. Do the uncomfortable and you will be amazed at to what you learn and it will make you a richer person internally. I still miss that fucker. His story wasn’t finished.

People still ask me how I like living here I always tell them the same response. We love it and should have done this sooner. I am in no way dogging Memphis or our friends back there but Mary Louise and I always had an ‘explorer’ gene in us that was dying to get out. New York is a strange city and has a lot of people from many different walks of life. Much like a child we are always asking questions and seeking information. You know what we found out. They may be from a different country, have a different person that believe in or vote for but we are all children playing in the same sandbox and we better find a way to get along. Call me crazy but the first thing that I ask the yellow cab driver, after I tell them *in my best New York Accent*, is where they are from and “Tell me about yourself.” People love telling their story to strangers. There is a lot of pride in those words and I cherish each and every one.

While I sit here smoking a Perdomo stinking up my work laptop I recall all the things we did. They are in no particular order include;

  • Mary Louise completes and graduates with a MBA from NYU and this better complete her higher education quest. We don’t have any fucking room in closet for a Doctoral Robe and all that crap. (I am very proud of her for this)
  • Mary Louise takes a new job and a whole bunch of new responsibilities that I don’t doubt she will do great in.
  • Made a trip to Philly and got me an authentic Cheesesteak.
  • We moved from the Upper East Side to the Gritty Hipster streets of Downtown Brooklyn. That wasn’t easy folks, oh and moving sucks here in New York City.
  • One would think that downsizing from 1300 square feet to 535 square feet would be easy but try to move to another studio that is configured differently. Thankfully Ba made a trip to Brooklyn and helped us with the move.
  • I made Senior at my work so I am now a Senior Sales Rep for selling tourists tickets on those double decker buses.
  • We made a trip to Maine for Lobster.
  • We made a trip to the Riviera Maya of Mexico for a work counterparts wedding and made a one night trip over to Isla Mujeres in December.
  • Made a trip back home for Christmas and got to see our friends and family.
  • Had to check in on Kitty down in Belize in February and to get warmed up from the 4 Nor’easters we had this past winter.
  • Were honored to become Godparents for Willimena in April and now have another one who will possibly wipe our asses when we get older.
  • Reconnected with Vivian Longstreet and Stone and enjoyed a great weekend with them Upstate.
  • Had to make yet another trip to Mexico and insure that RJ and Mallory didn’t have tres children. (still unknown but we will see in 9 months if that was a success)
  • Mary Louise made a trip to The Hamptons while I smoked meat on Katonah Avenue in the Bronx.
  • Mary Louise currently is down in Mexico right now with the MoHo’s and will return on Monday.

Yep we had a blast on this island and on a couple other islands. Rather than collect stuff we have decided to collect memories and passport stamps. I am nearing 1000 words and will end with a quote that I always love. “Travel is the only thing that you buy that makes you richer”

IMG_2489Much like Black Eyed Peas and Greens on New Years day if you celebrate New Years eve wearing a Bowler hat you will have good luck. *taken 2 blocks from Times Square on NYE

IMG_1883New York Food and Wine Festival Event

IMG_1641Pipes and Drums Prom. Who knew that Mary Louise and Lady Barrister wore the same color dress.

IMG_0059Madison Square Garden Event – here Mary Louise is saying “W.T.C.B.F. Carbunkle Trumpet, LZ goes to all the good shows and you take my ass to a Collegiate Hockey match? You better step up your game and start bogarting the good tickets too!”

IMG_2151Funny I don’t hear her bitching about this one. Aboard the USS Intrepid for the Marine Corp’s Birthday Celebration

IMG_3427Willimena is going to be a handful I can already tell.

IMG_4024 (1)Who has 2 thumbs and completes her MBA from NYU in 2 years while working full time and interviews for a new job. This one! Seriously though. This is it for higher level education.

IMG_2821Right before we move out of the UES they open a bonafide Queso Mexican Restaurant Joint and we find a great Cajun place too! Thank God we have the Q Train!

IMG_3128Boerum Hill is pretty cool. If you walk across the street from our joint you are in Boerum Hill neighborhood. If you make a left and walk across Flatbush you are in Fort Greene. You walk 3 more blocks and you are in Park Slope. Confused yet?

IMG_1262So glad to see Kitty when she made a trip up to the Big Apple.

IMG_0501This is the face of a woman who is about to walk out into a friggin Northeast Nor’easter. 50 MPH Winds with below windchill temps and Snow. I ‘worked from home’ that day!

IMG_8491And here was the first pic when we moved in. 3 years later and we are still here and I may or may not be a liberal democrat.

Thanks for reading and for following this worthless dribble. Now pull that band-aid off and go out and make yourself richer and happy 3rd Anniversary to us!

Pictures of the Week

So the dogs are getting tired of me and we still have 4 more days till Mary Louise gets back from her “work” trips. I know that she will be glad to be back home and I have done a lot of chores this week getting the house ready for her arrival. Do you know how hard it is to clean a studio? Regardless, I plan on doing another post about enjoying Robopalooza but that is for another day. Here are some pictures that I didn’t post from Mexico and the past weeks.

IMG_4080Geranium approved this picture for me to post. She really hated Isla as you can tell.

IMG_3886Thanks to EGP and EGP’s Mom for the Shirt. I wore it the other day and forgot to snap a pic of me wearing it.

IMG_3883Forgot to snap a pic of the new Cole Slaw Dressing/Marinade

IMG_3870When the (Domestic) Work Wife’s midtown uniform vest wearing husband leaves his iFoam in the bathroom it gets a thorough cleaning, scrubbing, sterilizing and disinfecting.

IMG_3869If she had a Haz-Mat suit she would have worn it. Thankfully I had some gloves that I gave her. #Robocares

IMG_383038 years ago a movie about “a Cinderella story. Outta nowhere. A former greenskeeper, now, about to become the Masters champion. It looks like a mirac… It’s in the hole! It’s in the hole! It’s in the hole!” Came Out. And FRIGGIN LZ NEVER SAW IT! Guess what you are getting for your wedding LZ……

IMG_3824JP moves away from 501 and Ginger’s on 7th Ave closes. The Mighty Flynn (just coined that btw) leaves Leroy Street and then this joint closes. I am afraid if SP moves on then Down the Hatch will close.

IMG_3820You should always look over your shoulder when traveling abroad. You never know who you will run into. Yep going Left to Right we have – New York, New Orleans, New York, Memphis, and Memphis. So great to see the old Memphis Mafia.

IMG_3810Monkey Head Maddy is starting to resemble a predecessor Tiny Toy Poodle that my parents had by the name of Gigi. She loved sleeping in-front of the Refrigerator. Of course back in the day that Avocado side by side had an exhaust at the bottom that kept Gigi warm. Maddy is just lazy and lays out wherever she wants to.

IMG_3721Hey Work Wife – Down in Front!

IMG_3841Don’t feed the PorkOsaurus Web Master

IMG_3772I really am going to be pissed if Mary Louise Geranium and The Mo-Ho’s visit Isla Mujeres on Sunday. And if they get Breakfast Pizza and have Oscars…..

IMG_3758This place is what I think about every Sunday for now on. Just relaxing at the public beach with the island kids and families as I drink my weight in beer and listen to great music.

By the way – I may be posting a special Post on Sunday as it our anniversary of living here in New York.

BoogieDown BBQ at the Rambling House 2018

5 years of the BoogieDown. Between Philly and New York a lot of meat has been cooked and served. This year we changed things up and hosted the event at the Rambling House and did more of a benefit for Alex’s Lemonade. The Memphis Mafia arrived on Thursday and on Friday and Philly rolled into town on Friday night.

On the menu this year was Pulled Pork Shoulder, Baby Back Ribs, Beef Brisket, Smoked Mac and Cheese and Cole Slaw with PorkOsaurus’ new Slaw dressing. We figure that there were about 250 guests and we raised over 2600 for the charity. Thanks to all those who came and a huge thank you to the great staff at The Rambling House.

IMG_3840Why yes we are smoking ribs on Katonah Avenue. What of it?

IMG_3842The PorkOSaurus Company Store. They have a new Slaw Dressing and Marinate

IMG_3863Um Guys, can you get some work done today?

IMG_3845About to start to juice the ribs

IMG_3847Isn’t that a Sexy Picture?

IMG_3846The Chief Bottle Washer and Midget Aficionado

IMG_3856Lemonade Stand courtesy of Fiona

IMG_3864The Boys from the Local showed up for some grub and to let the kids take pictures in the rig

IMG_3865Packed House and they could escape the heat

IMG_3861The Rambling House staff was serving up the food and we also had a face painting person. That is her in the hat….or some homeless girl

IMG_3859This is what probably made the Spring on Pepe’s cooker to go bad.

IMG_3867“Please buy some Rub, Sauce and Marinade so I can have my playroom back!” Poor C-Man was getting tired

IMG_3868Again thank you to the staff at the Rambling House. We couldn’t have done it without you!

You will have to excuse me as I have some non-smoked goods this week.

Pictures from the Week(s)

Got a bunch of pics on the ole Camera roll that aren’t all shitty firework pictures so I will share with you today. Taking next week off because I am going to be busy making sure that the parents of Mary Louise and my (if I conjugated that wrong kiss my ass, I am typing this at 2AM because I can’t sleep) godchild don’t drink any tainted water on the fun side of the border wall. Oh I am sure that I will probably upload one or two pics next week. Anyhoo have a good weekend and keep cool.

IMG_3646We have now arrived at Swamp Ass Temps in the Subway. What you don’t see or smell is the sweat pooling in my shoe or the faint smell of GoldBond

IMG_3670Shout out to Baker Street Pub who was nice enough to put on the Summer League game for us last week. And Happy Birthday to our favorite slinger of Bud Light!

IMG_3586My Favorite Greek Restaurant has a really cool display of prayer beads in their front lobby that I just noticed.

IMG_3584That right there is old Skool Midtown Uniform or the Frank H Sweater Vest! Oh and the temps that day were well into the “Feels like 100”! What the Corn Bread Feck Pops!

IMG_3562Shout out to Shannon O’ L as I saw this shirt and thought of her.

IMG_3653When in Hipster Brooklyn…… Note the prices on the 2X4’s and half case too

IMG_3567I do love living here because I see stuff here that reminds me of living in Memphis. I mean who didn’t see this on Summer Avenue or on Stage Road atop the hill in Rocking Raleigh?

IMG_3566Mary Louise Geranium, MAP is very excited to just read smut books next weekend in Mexico. I am proud of her but will still divorce her ass if she goes to be a Damned Doctor. *editor’s note – that cheap ass University couldn’t spring for a sheepskin holder?*

Have a good weekend folks and hug each other!