Brooklyn Baby

Hope you like a lot of pictures of the dog.

I just realized that the last time I ventured past Nevins Blvd or 3rd Avenue was maybe Saturday of last week? Pretty much I walk across the street to the park to let the dog pee on the curb and then walk back. Either I have morning or evening duty as I swap that with Geranium. Another highlight is walking downstairs to get a package but that is pretty much it.

This presents a problem in that you dozen or so readers of this worthless dribble are now going to get tired of the pics of the dog. FYI make sure you follow Maya on Instagram – @Maya_in_NYC because she is going to be the new Influencer.

Without further adeau here are some pics I have on the iFoam.

I have said before I don’t watch the news. Thankfully JR lives over on The Rockaways and reported the Comfort is on it’s way
The Shit Got Real Folks – Can you readers who are still playing the “Oh this won’t happen to us” stop with the FUCKING secret house parties? People are going to die here and my biggest priority in my life right now is for none of my NYC friends to end up here on this boat.
Seriously STAY THE FUCK HOME Why are you out? Keep your ass at home!
I mean if we can do this in 500 square feet with no backyard then what is your excuse.
S/O to Mr. 3 First Names as I had no idea about the show “Take Me To The River” Pay no attention to that Orange Juice in the glasses.
This is Maya’s boyfriend who waits patiently each morning for her to come out and say hey. Seriously George’s mum tells us that he meow’s for hours to come out to wait by our door.
I really question how moving is allowed right now?
Wore this the other day to piss off my dad.
No I am not taking a pic of my Junk (Behave Kitty) I was showing how Maya enjoys it when I take a break and lay on the bed.
Also you can see the white table on the right which is my desk in comparison to Geranium’s work station. We have been doing this now for 17 days and haven’t killed each other.
Fooking broke another pair.
I hope that everyone pranked thier kids yesterday.

Seriously folks stay home. The sooner we all do this the sooner we can come outside and hug and openly kiss people. I messaged one of my peers on the Garment District Team and told NC Tarheel M(squared) that I missed her face.

Support Local But More Importantly Know How To Heat Up Food Properly

So I work with 2 people, probably 3 who don’t cook at home. One of them even boasts that his fridge is empty with the exception of maybe a banana and just has Vodka in the freezer. The Rutgers grad, shit, I am pretty sure she keeps her sweaters in her oven. I mean with the endless food options up here why not. Sadly our favorite restaurants are hurting right now with the new rules they have to abide by. But let’s be honest. Take Out Food can suck when it gets cold right?

So the other night Geranium and I ordered some good ole Brooklyn BBQ from the fine folks over at Morgan’s in Park Slope. We ordered some pulled pork, brisket and ribs for dinner. Oh we also had slaw, mac & cheese and of course cornbread. By the way when did Cornbread become a staple of BBQ?

Here is what I did and for you 3 who don’t know how to boil water – pay attention;

  • When the food arrived I removed the plastic lids from the tin boxes and put them on a sheet pan. Side Note – It really is strange to still see Styrofoam containers in Memphis. We got rid of them a while back.
  • Now Rather than popping into the oven and have the food dry out. I Poured some water in the pan and then covered it tightly with foil. Place the tray in the preheated oven for about 10 minutes. This is called steaming and will put much needed moisture back into the food.
  • What came out was good ole smoked goodness and one would think we ate it straight from the line.
I may have arranged the food to look like the featured picture to stoke some more fun.
That is the last time I let Geranium order bulk foil. Almost taken 4 years to burn through it.
Pour about a cup of water on the tray and cover tightly with foil
NG – You do this for “Here Boy” and you will be elevated to the likes of Ina
The Ribs were good. Mac & Cheese – meh
Oh the Photographer…..drunk!
I do like Morgan’s Queso and Chips
Yo Chef Kelly English – Can you make a PSA down there asking the fine Memphis folks when they order food say if they need disposable service packs or not? These guys gave us just one. The amount of food we ordered in terms of normal take out – family of 4.
Seriously Folks – By telling the restaurant we can help them save costs and save what is left of this environment.

Folks you have to support these mom & pop places. They need the most help. Get Creative and help these folks. There was an old saying that read;

“If you don’t buy something we both are going to starve!”

Wash your hands and stay inside!

Weekend Fun Here in Brooklyn!

Here is what is currently going on here in Brooklyn

DJ Bobby did a show on Friday Night – Thanks for doing it Bobby. It was a welcome break.
Get The House Party App. It keeps us Mo-Ho’s together.
So there was a error when I was ordering my Rum for Painkillers. Anyway we now have plenty of post COVID-19 Rum Drinks!
Mr. 3 First Names with the Win!
It was a long week!
Yes we are Nerds but what else are we going to do?
That was what Cinco Askew requested for dinner
It rained on Saturday so it kept people inside which is what everyone needs to do!
Lots of Alcohol being drank!
This Bitch!

Hope you had a good day and stayed inside!

So What Are You Missing The Most Now?

Welcome to the party our friends from Memphis and other parts of the Country. Pull up a chair and set a spell won’t you? Anyway here are some pictures from today.

Yeah I saw this and snickered. I am guessing he is a UTA Alum.
I saw this and was going to send it to LJZ and damned if she didn’t beat me to it.
Geranium and her Mad Towel Folding Skills
I figured I would unplug this thing since Maya is going to have Stay at Home Parents.
Haven’t been in the city till March 13th and I miss a lot of this shit! I texted Lady Barrister the other day that I missed Q and may even hug the F Train.
We are going through some major ass spring cleaning. These Days!
That Grey is coming in strong these days.

Make sure you Breathe in Jesus and Breathe Out Satan!

We are going to get through this.

"Maya Lets Go Get The Package"

I was doing my work expenses from the Week ending March 13th. Last week I didn’t really have the energy to get it done. Normally I do my expenses each week and that reminds me; “Hey Staten Island Sam – do your freaking expenses!”

That week I had lunch at Tommy Bahama on Thursday March 12th with a client and VA. Now the brightest part of my day is taking the dog down when I get a package. I don’t know what is worse. That I am blogging about going to get 2 boxes or that you are now reading it.

Maya now leads the way when we go out.
Park is empty, normally you see some kids but they are stuck at home now. God Bless anyone who is working from home with little ones. Spoke with Don today and you can hear the stress in his voice.
At least it was a nice day yesterday.
You don’t see much activity on the streets or traffic.
Got to keep Trevor, Jackie and the staff at The Hub Safe.
As you can imagine the deliveries have picked up Substantially. Normally the food guys will lean on the counter and that isn’t fair to our staff.
Lots of Junk Food on that Cart. Got to Find out where they live
Social Distancing in full effect here folks. You have no idea how strange this is for New Yorkers.
I am happy to report that Maya is very happy with Social Distancing.
The staff has been great here. Once we get done with this I am hugging everyone!

So if you haven’t figured out yet “What was in the Box?” We got our order from Meh.Com. We ordered some new pillows and now that we are stuck in here we are happy.

The Catalina Wine Mixer is Cancelled Until Further Notice – Then the Panic hit!

When we were here for Christmas it was so strange on Christmas Day because there wasn’t any traffic on the streets and the subways were empty. Right now – Let me tell you this is some wild shit up here with it being quiet. We have views of the Manhattan bridge and Sunday afternoon there were ZERO cars on it. Normally we see helicopter traffic over the East River and there none this evening.

Please note that I am not going to use this blog to rant or criticize (that is what Twitter is for) but if you are a fairly intelligent person please stay your ass at home.

Stillwell Avenue on Coney Island (taken from web)
Sunnyside Queens (Mr. 3 First Names, I can hear your comments) also taken from Web
45th Street in Manhattan. I have never seen this before by the way. Also stolen from the Web.
I got me a Twitter Hard On last night from getting a like by Dustin Wilson. I also got a like by Anna Roisman but she and I are old friends.
The Professor and Bobcat Finished up a puzzle yesterday.
Shout out to the Robo Selfie style too!
Hippo is not doing well with Quarantine
It is changing up here hour by hour. I have a feeling that these guys (all liquor stores) are about to be told to shut down because of the Virus.
When I came back from my Grocery Store run this morning I walked by CVS to see if they had Tylenol. They had some but I realized I hadn’t been down those steps in 10 days. Hell they might be able to clean all of them by the time we get to come out again.

I have a feeling that when I wake up and hit publish we probably are going to have different rules for living up here. Stay safe, wash you damn hands, stay off the news, but call someone and check on them. People are scared and need to hear another voice.

“God has given You a huge block of Time. What are you going to do with it?”

There is a 2 pc band up here that we like listening to by the name of The Tall Pines. It is a husband/wife team of Connie Petruk and her husband Christmas Davis. They play on a lot of Losers Lounge Tributes and have a unique sound. They had a virtual concert (would you have said that term 15 days ago?) last night on their roof in the UWS. Connie said that term that I have decided to use as my title.

So what are you going to do? You going to drink your face off with Vodka, Gin and Rum? Gang, I lived that phase back in the day and you can only really do about 7 days until you have a body shutdown. Here in New York we are in a “Essential Lockdown”. Both of our work places are still blowing and going and we are trying to stay normal.

So what are you going to do during this ‘self quarantine” time? I mean eventually the booze, cooking, cleaning and Netflix binging is going to get boring. What next? As you can see I am ramping up this worthless dribble. But is it really making me a better person? I think it is time to ‘get uncomfortable’ gang. Step out of that safe place that we have been in for the past 5 days.

I look forward to these things. Please keep doing this. Seriously folks people need this!
Schermerhorn Street – Normally it is a ‘look both ways or you will get run TF over’ street. Now it is empty.
SERIOUSLY FOLKS – STAY THE FUCK HOME!
Hey US Retailers – DO THIS! I understand that baby Formula is in high demand. Stop hoarding!
Owner of Sid’s Gold Karaoke Bar and lead for all the Losers Lounge Shows is now doing a daily spot too! This keeps me happy guys.
What Fooking Day is it? I laugh at my old person pill organizer but it does help.
If you can – Keep those Reservations for future events.
“We spoke about how this is going to change things that we have never imagined but people still need people.”
First off ignore that Mug Shot pic on the left.
The Professor/Bobcat/Mr. 3 First Names/Lady Barrister/Geranium/CBT day drinking via virtual was a success.
Side Bar – if you want to have drinks in NYC shoot me a text and we can have drinks. This is now the new norm and people will need to hear voices and talk this out.
Berocca/Shelter in Place Vitamins are in house. We have an additional 15 days for the both of us. This isn’t so much for Corona Virus – it is for the nasty hangovers we are having each morning.

So what are you going to do with this ‘gift of time’?

Working from Home Tips from Carbunkle Trumpet, Esq. Thursday Update

Co-Working day number 3 is down and in the books. Here are some pics from yesterday and in my photo library.

Seriously folks, make sure you set a timer for every hour you get up and go do something. Walk the dog, do some housework, go sing a song out your window. Keep your sanity and know that Carbunkle Loves you!

First of all when I was in Memphis for the Funeral when did Jimmy John’s take over Café Samovar or that Mexican Joint?
These guys along with any delivery company are the real MVP’s here folks!
So for my Birthday I am getting me a Bougie Parfume Candle from Geranium.
Oh and you are welcome former Work Wife (the Domestic One) & The Female Fat Kid Work Wife (she will be thrilled with this nickname)
Yep us Pisces, Aries and probably Taurus are fucked that we can’t have drinks at Chuck E Cheese but seriously this some Bullshit!
*Stolen from La-Dash-A
I am transitioning to WebEx’s and this whole virtual working from home. I am not ready to start sharing my camera just yet. You have been warned NY East!

Speaking of WebEx – We now put this up when one of us is on a Conference Call
So with the two of us in such a small close proximity and Geranium being used to working from home we are having to adjust. I may have thrown out a “Who do I have to Fuck to get X” while she was speaking to her boss. #whoops
Feel Free to curse and or Fart!
Tito’s Vodka will be just fine through this!
When I was in Memphis I had lunch with Didi at the Rendezvous and saw this old school picture of FedEx.

Like I said folks, stay positive, turn off the fooking news and virtual hug someone today!

We are going to get through this. We have to!

Captains Log – Day 2 of living in 500 Square Feet in Crime-Free Brooklyn

So I think that strange times require strange and different methods. I have always a been a fan of posting a barrage of pics from my phone on Friday’s. I call it “Just the Pictures” and it gets little to some press. Given that the entire US is (if not already) on quarantine people may need something on Social Media to smile about. I mean unless you really enjoy seeing crap from people cursing the Left or the Right. Chill folks!

So what I am trying to accomplish here is to put a smile on your face. I want my off day posts to be a place for you to come if you are down or need to get a 5 minute escape from this madness. I am putting a disclaimer out there now – These posts may be a lot of Apartment 38R so I am just warning you.

Truth – I fear that these next couple of weeks if not months are going to get really bad for some people. I know that I now find myself taking quick 5 minute breaks looking at Instagram or my favorite blogs waiting for conference calls or for reports to run. Sometimes I may go grab a diet coke, I may take the dog out to go pee. I may even smack Geranium on the ass while she is on a conference call. Guys and Gials – everyone needs a quick escape from this madness. We are writing a chapter that none of us have ever dreamed about. Shout out to TacoGirl who reached out to me with a great Social Distancing pic that I will use one of these days.

Now let’s be honest, do you really come her for my badly written grammar or run on fucking sentences? I saw Brother Joel McGraw, FCS tow (sp) weeks ago and I felt his scorn for my on regularly badly written blog. Without further adeau;

This is Command Central for Those Double Decker Bus Tours. Yep we are in uncharted times these days but by God we got to keep going.
See the close proximity I am to Geranium’s Bed Pan Cleaning Company? My Gawd! We may need to think about a partition. I showered, shaved and even put in hair gel too!
For those of you that know our “Invisible Kid” he is now stuck at home. Here he is doing his homework in the executive office. This dumb fucker hasn’t realized he has an Alexia in there to help him spell Skool or Kat.
Maya is not fooking happy with this!
Guys, I don’t watch the news up here but this is proof positive that complete strangers are looking out for each other. Oh and we live in a 55 floor building too!
Walked down to my favorite Fort Greene Bodega and they were full of stocked shelves. Anyone need Bodega Sushi?
We have plenty of Baked Goods up here too! No reason to hoard!
So speaking of hoarding we have decided to stop using Paper Towels in the house. We now have our wash bucket out and when a towel becomes MOIST (S/O to Kaylee, Lana and the Hot Asian) we chunk them in here and wash them periodically. Saves on Paper Towels.

So guys, start being nice to each other. Send a random texts and love all!

Social Distancing

Let me be perfectly clear, to whomever came up with that now overly used term you deserve a punch in the throat.

So I have had a bunch of people reach out to me asking how things are going here in New York. I don’t really watch the news on TV so I am not really sure what they are reporting. I went to Target on Saturday everyone was acting civil. There was food on the shelves, but the TP aisle was as expected, empty. I was picking up some Tide Pods and a ream of paper expecting to be stuck at home.

Later that afternoon we went to meet up with Lady Barrister and Mr 3 First Names at The Commissioner. I was happy to report that the bar was behaving correctly and people were keeping their distance from each other per the rules. Also anytime a table left the staff was spraying the table down with Lysol and cleaned the seats. It was great getting out and having some drinks and a much needed distraction.

Yesterday we were more or less staying in and working from home as the majority of my accounts heeded the warning. It was also announced that restaurants were to either close or allow take out only. This is going to really hurt some businesses. I get that we need to disrupt the spread and ‘flatten the curve’ but it is going to be interesting to say the least.

We are fine by the way, the dog is loving having mom and dad home but its everyone else that puts me on edge and makes me nervous. I am afraid that some business won’t make it. The profit margin of running a restaurant isn’t that great. I fear that we are going to lose some great institutions.

Restaurants are required to be 50% occupied and keep your distance but that has now changed.
Going to be strange with nobody out for St Patrick’s Day but it’s expected.
Had a couple of these the other day to ease the pain
Ate Mexican with Laterza on Saturday.
I have a feeling I am going to be watching some of these
My Fly office down on the 3rd floor before they closed it down.
We haven’t sent the “Can you spare a square” email yet.

Be Nice to Each Other and if you can support your fellow man/woman.