Brooklyn Baby

Lets Go Mets!

I know, I know, it makes me feel dirty for just saying that. This past Sunday was the last regular season game for all of the 2019 baseball season. Given that my beloved Cubs were going to be enjoying October off I decided to host a customer for the Mets/Braves Game in Citi Field.

Before you Cubs fans start in on me, cool your damn jets. There is nothing better than watching a home team who isn’t going to the playoffs play a team who has clinched. Long story short, the Mets went into extra innings and won on a home run blast in the bottom of the 11th. Baseball is now in the post season which drives me crazy because Joe Buck sucks. No seriously he is worse than trying not to sneeze while having explosive diarrhea.

RAB – Lets Party Like its 1969. They had a lot of that stuff being sold in the park.
*Disclaimer – this is the 1986 World Series Trophy. I can’t bust too many chops. The Cubs only have 1 of these.
Once Again. Baller Seats!
Hey Tapeworm NFG – You missed a fun time.
He hit a Home run
What the Fuck is that Gimmick? Shout out to Carl!
Not really sure why you have to strip the player who hit the home run but it was a fun time at Citi Field.!

Let’s hope that it is a Yankees/Cardinals World Series!

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Pictures of the Week

So I started putting notes together for the Blog post on our trip to Dale Hollow. I haven’t published it yet because I want to have my proofreader Kitty put some eyes on it before I publish. Problem is that Kitty is in Belize and she is busy down there.

Anyway here are some pictures from this week and weeks past. Have a good weekend and stay cool Memphis folks. I hear it is hotter than 2 rats fucking in a wool sock down there.

Many Thanks to you who reached out to me and my family on the loss of Little Michael. He will be missed by many.
It is tough being Maya
George from 38P wanted to come say hello to Maya.
What’s the Fucking Point? This is like a Blind Eunuch (Someone who has been castrated) going to The Purple Church on Mt Moriah.
Yep!
Damn Geranium is going to be out of town again!

Have a good weekend folks and I will work on the other posts.

Della Forte’s Camera Kicks Some Serious Ass!

Happy Monday Folks! And don’t let your eyes fool you. You are actually reading a past weekend post on a Monday. Like I said last week, Geranium is away all week and I got left alone on Sunday afternoon. Also The Murphranks were out of town so instead of having some Sunday Funday I worked on this worthless Dribble.

This past Friday Vivian coordinated a field trip on the Circle Line Boat Tour for the WFUV Disco Boat Cruise. Or as My (former) Work Wife (The Domestic One) said to me; “Oh you are on a booze cruise.” This past Friday we had bonus because not only was it a Friday the 13th but it also was a Harvest Moon. Let me tell you. Seeing a full Moon on the Hudson and East River….it Fucking Rocked.

Now while we were snapping pictures I couldn’t help but notice how sharp and clear the pictures on Della Forte’s Samsung foam. I realized right then that I would ask her to send me some pictures so I promptly put my phone away and decided to drink cold beer instead.

Here are some great pictures from Friday Night.

This is my camera. Notice the crappy blob of a moon?
This is from my iFoam and I was playing around with the camera functions
Della Forte’s Camera of the Moon and the Empire State.
Della’s View of the Brooklyn Bridge
Manhattan Bridge
Manhattan Bridge by Della
Seriously Della’s Foam Kicked Ass!

Have a good week and be nice to each other. Except for Brett Kavanaugh. He is a rapist and should be put in shackles. Debate me on this. I dare you.

Pictures of the Week (And A Shout Out Too!)

I have a bunch of stuff building up on some scratch pads. That and Geranium is going to be away all next week so get ready for more production out of me. In so many words/phrases here is what I have cooking;

  • “The Big Chill” at Dale Hollow Lake (Relax, I got this)
  • “Memphis Basketball Fans have ‘A Guy’ when they visit Brooklyn”
  • Boat Ride on the Hudson
  • “Would Someone Fix My Cigar Bar? Fucking Please!”
  • “Way to Piss Me off” – Airport Decorum
  • “A return to the old haunts” – Going back to the USE roots
  • “So I came out of the closet with the blog at work”

First off, I want to give a shout out to RMT from PA. She has been a ‘stalker’ of this worthless dribble of a blog ever since we moved up here. Her son did some time down by Union Square for the past 4 years as we have lived here. Albeit, I may have never met him, but I feel like I know him. You see RMT got her Christmas, Birthday, Tooth Fairy, and Mothers Day present all rolled into one a couple of weeks back. This makes me happy and puts a serious smile on my face. Oh and by the way RMT – I want a MOG pic texted to me on the blessed day. #UgotThis

I know that I have been kind of scatter brained but I promise when I say this….we have been (really fucking) busy. I mean Geranium has been away more days in a month than she has been in Brooklyn. We aren’t bitching, she works her ass off and she actually loves what she does. She also is getting some great exposure on selling those Bed Pans. On my side…Yeah, I don’t feel so guilty working longer hours on my double decker tour bus sales gig or having a cigar with the boys. This is what people in their mid to early 50’s do in NYC right? More to come, more to come.

Anyway here are some pictures from this past week. It has been a powerful week to say the least.

Saint John Baptist De La Salle…..Pray for Us but Most Importantly Thank You!
Happy Birthday Monkey Head!
All aboard the A Train!
Thanks Alex! Way to made the guys in Green look FAT! Seriously it was great To See Joe and Henry up in the Big Apple!
Thanks to LJZ for leaving Spin Class to come down for Evening Service.
(She doesn’t read this, I am safe)
No real words never need to be said here
Disclaimer – I omitted the name of the person who posted this out of the deepest respect for them and their family. This was posted on Wednesday and yet again it brings me to tears. What occurred 18 years ago still digs deep into the hearts and souls of so many people.
I may have a story about this day but I will never speak it. This day isn’t about me.
It is about those who lost their mothers, their fathers, their wives, their husbands, their partners, their children, their neighbors, their work peers and so many more.
We shall always remember their names and we will also remember those who are still perishing from 9/11 illnesses.
God I hope this kicks ass! And I also hope they speak with a worse accent than I am accessed of having up here.
“I am going to wake up in the morning on the couch…..wearing a kilt.” Name withheld to protect the Fellow Drunken Uber Rider.

Have a good weekend. Be nice to a Stranger.

Call your Mother and Father because they probably worry about you.

Never miss a chance to tell someone you love them.

And hug your babies a little closer.

As one of my cigar buddies always says “These are interesting times we are living in.”

The Kramer/Newman Can/Bottle Deposit Money Making Scam

We have all seen that episode. The one where Kramer and Newman devise a plan to make it rich by returning all the cans and bottles to Michigan. They are doing this because Michigan has a higher deposit refund than New York. Logistically it can’t work unless they ‘borrow’ a mail truck. You folks in the south, I don’t even know if they do this anymore. Do they?

So while we were at Dale Hollow Lake in between our juice cleanses I was having a discussion with Ralph, the owner of the Mobile home community. In addition to great conversation about Men’s colognes from the late 80’s I inquired about the recycling effort here at Star Point on Dale Hollow Lake. You see at Dale Hollow Lake I didn’t see any recycle bins or paper bins. Do you recall my post when I got back from Switzerland about recycling? Anyway before you start labeling me the Liberal Granola Hipster, I do have a point.

Ralph informed me that they have kids at the Marina who will sort the trash and get the recycle cans to turn them in for a charity. This confirms the point that no money can be made by recycling and it confirms Kramer’s point. Meanwhile “Ralph” and I were enjoying a yummy Kale and Captain and he inquired about the recycling effort here in New York. I inform him that the “Can People” handle that and actually it makes the Trash Pick Up really a breeze.

So here is the deal. In New York our recycle specifically the cans and bottles are handled by what I call is the Can Mafia/People. You see our Recycle/Trash/Dumpster is put on the street during certain times of the week. Naturally, I am not around during this time but I have seen the can sorting happen in different parts of the city. So in Brooklyn at our building the Can People (Primary people of Asian Descent) show up and sort the bags to pull out cans and bottles. No big deal right? Well then a big arse truck shows up and they load them into the truck and by God this is a fucking Network. These folks are better organized than the Eye-Talians. Oh and you better not encroach on ones’ turf. I have seen this. It isn’t pretty.

We got a damn Can Network Going on here in New York!

I can’t recall when trash day is for our building but I looked at this like it was normal.
Don’t piss these folks off. They will yell at you!
I should tell them that they should be out front of a certain house in The Boogie Down or a Church in the UES on St. Patrick’s Day.

Have a good day!

Pictures of the Week on a Thursday? What Gives

What can I say, I am giving you paid subscribers a little Jerry Lewis MDA Labor Day Telethon bonus. You remember that Labor Day tradition? Anyway we are going to be out of town for a couple of days.

It is going to be a Circus this weekend! #FCharlie
Miss all 3 of these Knuckle Heads!
Found this recipe in one of Jean-George’s Cook Books

Have a good weekend!

A Trip To Gerritsen Beach in Brooklyn

Back in February The Professor mentioned possibly field trip to The Tamaqua when it got warm. A few weeks ago when we were enjoying the roof deck in Park Slope Mr. Three First Names reminded us that we should make a trip to The Tamaqua. Since I had no idea what I was in for, I was all in. So we planed the trip this past Sunday.

Folks, I have visited some unbelievable Dive Bars here in New York. Milano’s Bar, Hanks Bar (when it was still open), The Ice House in Red Hook, Franks Lounge in Fort Greene, Farrells, Rudy’s with that Red Pig, and The Trailer Park Bar. All of these places hold a special place in my heart because they offer something that you can’t just buy or install. They are national treasures. Hold of to your hat folks. Here is where you are going to probably swallow your gum….

The Tamaqua could win the Title of the Best Dive Bar in New York.

I know, I know can you believe that I made that ballsy statement on a Tuesday? First off for me to properly describe The Tamaqua is going to be hard/damn near impossible. This place is stuck in a Time Machine. According to the Group it took a serious hit during Hurricane Sandy but yet she still sits there. Seriously as we were sitting there having some afternoon drinks one would not think that you are not in Brooklyn. You would think you are at Harbor Docks in Destin Florida or Tacky Jacks in Orange Beach, AL. For my Memphis folks who are coming up here in November we may have to make a trip there. You won’t believe it either!

The Doors are wide open because they don’t have AC. Remind anyone of Harpo’s?
Aww that is cute. But why is it listing to the right?
Lots of place to sit but they don’t have a kitchen or menu. The serve chips so maybe Maya will come next time. Nope
The put a clothes pin on your tab so it doesn’t blow away!
The Have a Pool Table. Shuffleboard, Dart and even some Poker Machines. God Bless this place
It is even ADA compliant and offers Wheel Chair Parking
Life is good at the Tamaqua

And no Maria, I am not losing my mind and no I don’t need a tetnus shot. Your Fancy NY @ss might not come here but it is good for a laugh. Thanks to Bobcat, Professor, Lady Barrister, Mr. 3 First Names for a fun afternoon.

Well, We Didn’t Kill Anyone This Week….Yet!

That is the normal exchange with my favorite Concierge, Trevor, here in the building. We do this every Friday morning when I take the dog out. It is kind of a tradition. So without further adeau….here are the pictures of the week.

Billy’s Sports Bar and Lounge next to Yankee Stadium – Great Coat/Bag Check
Back in Yankee Stadium but this time it was hotter than 2 rats fucking in a wool sock
I used to make fun of people for wearing funny shoes. I really should think about revisiting it.
Heard all my Memphis Folks talk about the Cousin’s Lobster Truck and didn’t know that it was a chain/food truck.
S(Squared) and RAB – I have some questions about your religion.
Shout out to Celi’s Deli in San Pedro. I saw these Chicken Tostadas and said “Si”
So the White Claw is a thing now eh?
So apparently this joint is now a crime scene. I hope you died a long death Jeffrey.

Have a good weekend Folks. Next week we take our show on the road.

A Trip to 161st Street to sit in “The Baller Seats”

Sometimes it is good to be Carbunkle Trumpet. Oh and sometimes it is even better to be sitting in Baller seats for a Yankees/Red Sox home series on Friday night. Needless to say it is a helluva good perk of working for the Double Decker Tour Bus Company. Oh and for the Yankees to win too? What can I say? I am money!

Second Row on the Third Base Side Doesn’t suck!
Wish they would put last names on the Jersey’s because I don’t know all my players yet.
Not too bad for a Friday Night
The Red Sox’s TV Personality
Seriously Judge is a grown damn Man!

Feel Free To Hate. I even hate myself for sitting in these seats since I am not such a huge Yankees Fan. But I will still live with myself. Oh and I am 1-0 sitting in these seats and the Yankees swept the Red Sox on this series.

What is up with the picture of the baby Elvi?

I just like it. It makes me happy and I also know that Memphis is probably going to be in a heat advisory since it is Dead Elvis Week. Did you know that I can also forecast the Memphis weather?

  • Coldest Day of the Year in Memphis – Whatever day they play the Liberty Bowl Game
  • Hottest Day of the Year in Memphis – Around Dead Elvis Week
  • Rainiest Day/Week of the Year in Memphis – Beale Street Musicfest or World Championship BBQ Cooking Contest.

I mean if you know the past, you can predict the future.

I am going to share with you some pictures I snapped this past Sunday from the Murphranks Rooftop. Bobcat & Professor were there along with Rocky and Monkey Head Maya. Sorry folks but No pictures of the Humans – I mean have you ever seen Meg or Bobcat in the same place? Same goes for Matt or the Professor? Come to think of it, I haven’t seen Geranium for the past 24 hours. I bet she is in Seattle again.

Maya prefers to be sitting in a lap getting petted. Don’t we all?
Don’t worry Dad, I will protect the Cheese Cooler
The Jar-Man used to say that the sunsets over beautiful West Memphis Arkansas. I guess we can say it sets over beautiful New Jersey
Wonder what asshole lives in that tall as building? I understand from Mr. 3 First Names that my view of the Empire State Building is about to change.
That doesn’t suck. Oh and I found out that The Bobcat and Professor were married in that church to the left of the row houses.

Tomorrow I take the gloves off and blast expedia for their shitty customer service.