A Grizz Game, Cigars on Tuesday, A Nor’Easter and by the way Its Only Thursday

“So is this a normal week for you guys?” That is what #2429 asked while we were belly up at the Juice bar this past evening.

#2431 replied in his best Southern/New York accent; “Well not really, it is quite odd that we have 4 Nor’easter’s in is as little 1 month.”

If you are wondering what those numbers mean, I will be glad to tell you but I will have to kill you. I really don’t want to do that because I just put a deposit on a condo south of the Mason Dixon Line and I do hate to waste money…….and beer.

So being that today is Thursday or as we call it Day 3 of Spring (kiss my ass you effin Groundhog) we have done a lot so far.  Monday our Grizzlies were playing Brooklyn and let me tell you, that game was depressing.

Tuesday I decided since we were going to have bad weather on Wednesday I decided to retreat to Adult Men’s Daycare The Cigar Inn and hung out while Mrs. Trumpet was at school.

Wednesday on the day of the Nor’easter we saw the deterioration of the weather with first rain, then sleet, snow and the wind that could suck start a Cumming Diesel engine. Let me tell you, I am ready for some nice weather this spring.

IMG_2850The either snickered at my scarf or felt sorry for me on Monday.

IMG_2851It really is pretty arena given that the acoustics suck.

IMG_2852Hung at the American Express suite for a while during pre-game.

IMG_2824Really? Again? Go home Salt Truck You are Drunk!


BBKw0eaYeah there were no flights on Wednesday

IMG_7676Any short jokes and I will call “my guy” and have this taken care of!

Have a good day!


Living The Rock Star Lifestyle Here

Clubs, 3 Michelin Star Restaurants, Partying till 4AM on a Tuesday Night/Morning what a week I have had this week….wait who am I kidding here? My ass starts wants to head to bed by 10:30PM each night. We had a busy week given it was a snow day on a Wednesday. On Friday night I met up with UWS Holly, Mrs. Trumpet and a school friend for some wine before they went to musical. UWS was heading to New Jersey and I was heading to the UES to do laundry. Yep Friday night and who do I have a date with? Tide Pods, Bounce dryer sheets and a good stiff Tito’s and Soda. I made that laundry my bitch by the way!

Saturday morning we got our Fresh Direct order so I was up early. After giving a shout out to “April the pregnant Crab in Baltimore” on the Book of Face I decided to do a little spring cleaning. Mind you it was a ball shrinking 30 degrees Saturday morning so any outdoor activity would require a lot of clothing and lets be honest – I AM FUCKING OVER THIS COLD WEATHER! I mean it is the friggin 12th of March, could we at least have mid 50’s for a high?

I took the dogs out, fed them, shaved my balls & back, I fixed breakfast for Mrs. Trumpet, then I decided it was time to clean out some closets. One of the great benefits of this 535 square foot apartment is that we have killer closets. It isn’t the walk in beauty that RJ and Mallory now have at 595 in Memphis but we are very lucky. Anyway I decided to tackle the entry hall closet, Shobo’s purse closet and then the attic (you wondering what the hell I am talking about) storage area. Yep it was a busy Saturday.

One would think that if you have already downsized one wouldn’t have to do it again for at least 5 years. Well nope, my goofy ass filled a suitcase that would cost over 200 bucks to fly domestic and I haven’t’ even tackled my own personal closet.

IMG_2808Wine Flights for 12 bucks at happy hour? Now I wonder why Mrs. Trumpet picked this place.

IMG_2812Pay no attention to the “Maintenance Wine” or my fancy La Croix bubbly water?

IMG_2813The Purse/Sweatshirt closet

IMG_2816The Attic/Back Room where we store all of our $hit. Yes those are gallons of water in the top right. We have to use distilled water for our humidifier (THAT WE STILL FUCKING HAVE TO USE IN MID MARCH!)

IMG_2817Since we just got rid of our larger suitcase we are now down to 2 carry on pieces of luggage.

IMG_2818The Office/Guest Luggage Storage/Beach Chair Storage Area/Monkey Head Bedroom

Bored yet? Yep, that was our Friday and Saturday. RELAX Folks, next weekend is the Super bowl of drunken drinking or as the Irish call it – St. Patrick’s Day. I have already spoken to my St. Patrick’s Day date and she is ready to drink with guys who have swords with me. This year is a bonus since this St Patrick’s Day falls on a weekend so Mrs.. Trumpet can join us this year for the whole drunken episode.

Sorry Folks, That is life in our Rock star lifestyle.


Man Time Flies

One of the only redeeming qualities of Facebook these days is the “On this date” part where you can see what you posted on this day for up to 10 years. On the 5th year of this past week we were across the pond for our good Friend’s wedding. Yep Papua New Guinea Mike and Claire were married 5 years ago this past week. Naturally we wished him congratulations and a text thread started with a couple of the boys. I didn’t want to remind anyone but in the past 5 years the following have occurred;

  • RJ & Mallory sell the Flophouse to Jenna
  • We sell 595 to RJ & Mallory
  • We then move to New York to drink with the Asian Fireman & Mr. 3 First Names and be an hour from Pepe.
  • RJ & Mallory go to +2
  • The Asian Fireman and the Real Estate Tycoon can’t be outdone and go to +3
  • Pepe and D3 go to +1
  • PNG Mike – MAKE SURE THAT CLAIRE DOESN’T DRINK THE WATER!!!!! Mrs. Trumpet has been drinking bottled water for the past 5 years.

734287_10151619122299928_599437964_nKegs and Eggs with the Lads. See all those Dark Liquid Glasses that are in front of everyone. That is English Coffee.

IMG_2766Right after that the Bar decided it was “Last Orders” because the Americans were swinging an invisible jump rope.

482274_10151634510739928_890101125_nIf you see this man and he says “Lets do a shot” you run like hell!

554896_10151634511129928_1783965562_nOh Look PNG Mike “Iced” down some beer for us.

526799_10151634511054928_1136011644_nMike and Clarie’s English Garden – We will put in an outdoor bar at the fenceline!

555064_10151634511259928_589787889_nI am only posting this so that the Asian Fireman and his wife can save it and we can torment Wee Fiona when she gets older and starts to date.

10554965_10152729330539928_1140361562_nBack when all 3 of these boys weren’t procreating.

I think that we need a return trip to Big Smoke soon. Anyone up for a field trip?



Pictures of the Week – Happy Fish Friday Folks!

Shout out to my favorite Pseudo Catholic R A B – She does loves Lent more than Brown Water Season.

So last weekend I was down in the count with a sinus infection and I guess because I live in the petri dish of society (aka New York) I am not any better. I was coughing up a storm this evening sitting next to Golden T (see what I did there TG) at dinner and she was concerned. I assured her that it was self induced and I would be back to my cigar smoking self soon. Regardless here are this week’s (it has been a short week) pics of the week. And I apologize if you are stalkers of mine on Instagram because you may see some repeats.

IMG_2739This is the equivalent of Krystal’s up north. And they ship them in a friggin box of 30!

IMG_2740So those two guys in the middle of the picture…yep they are twins and they just celebrated 45 trips around the sun. Oh but one of them is going to Memphis for Memphis in May BBQ Fest. So Staten Island S Squared (see did what I did there again) you want to be my date that weekend? I got “A Guy”!

IMG_2741Sunday we ate well on some Sunday Sauce

IMG_2751Not sure what is more frightening. The Tribble (Star Trek reference) on LJZ’s purse or the carpet at the Downtown Marriott.

IMG_2753So if I may bust some chops now. I had no idea that the A**** F****** was on tour. Photo Credit to Air Traffic Jenna

Have a good weekend folks. It’s been a wild week for us. I am looking forward to having a Sunday Funday one of these days.


Shopping in New York City….Who do I have to F&*K to get Cajun food up here?

So Mrs. Trumpet was hosting her Christmas party last weekend. I know what you are saying, its mid January. Her menu was to include BBQ Sliders and Muffaletta Sandwiches as well as some other party food items. I was dispatched to get the Olive Salad needed to make the sandwiches and I figured this would be an easy task right? Well the cost of shipping Central Grocery’s Olive Mix is cost prohibitive so I figured I would make my own. First I needed a bottle of Giardiniera which is picked vegetables (cauliflower, carrots, banana peppers, pepadew, and olives) and is the base of any good olive salad.

After 4 trips to different stores, bodega’s and specialty stores produced absolutely ZERO Giardiniera. How in the world can New York not have Giardiniera or anything similar? I have talked a couple times how we struggle finding good Cajun food up here. I am starting to think that this is a conspiracy. Needless to say after all my trips to the stores I created the best I could do of an Olive Salad. Thankfully because all of these New Yorkers have never had a Muffaletta it was a hit and they loved it.

MZ_Product_GIARDINIERANow some of you are going..Oh so that is what he is talking about

IMG_2578Yeah I kind of made a bunch, oh well at least it won’t go bad!

IMG_2589It was a hit to say the least!

I guess me finding a Shrimp PoBoy or a good Roast Beef Debris Sandwich is going to be futile up here too.

You want to go drink some wines from Switzerland?

Yeah, Yeah, Yeah, I am back. I was busy last week tormenting the Memphis parents of kids who were out of school for 10 days. It was a lot of fun and it really is like shooting ducks at the Peabody hotel between the hours of 11AM and 5PM. We got an email from Lady Barrister of the Murphranks asking if we wanted to go taste & drink swill some wines from Switzerland. Naturally I was intrigued because I have never tasted any wines from this country and I am always up for some day drinking with the Murphranks.

Swiss wines are grown in roughly 15,000 Hectares (37K Acres) of land. Put it this way California produces wine from 520K acres. So 93% of the wine produced in Switzerland never leave the country. Add to that it is hard to harvest the grapes due to the terrain and the high cost of living in Switzerland and the climate…..this ain’t cheap bottle of wine. The tasting was held at Anfora restaurant in Greenwich Village and let me tell you, they do a great job there.

The wine guy came out and said that this wasn’t going to be a snobby wine tasting and he encouraged us to speak up if we liked it or not. Naturally they served us some food to nosh on and I can already tell that I am a fan of Switzerland. They had one of those cheese melt broiler thingie’s on the bar. I was in love. Booze and Cheese….(hey Neighbor, quit drooling and get in the car)

We sampled 8 wines (3 white and 5 reds) and I found out that even though it may be expensive Swiss Wines are the bees knees. I may have to make a trip there (in the summer) to check it out.

IMG_2599They Fancy at Anfora. Even had a placemat of the wines we were going to taste.

IMG_2603What is that thing I asked the bar manager. She told me wait and the show will start soon.

IMG_2597Wait is that a block of cheese and one of those broiler things. Oh hell yes!

IMG_2598Hey Chef, just move that over here and give me a crack at it.

IMG_2600Melted Cheese Goodness over potatoes and meat. How good is life right now?

IMG_2606The wines that we sampled. Yes I originally said we had 8 wines but there are only 7 listed here. We got bonus wine at the end!

IMG_2595Naturally we had to prepare our palettes with some booze and sought out Tavern on Jane Street. Snapped this as it reminded me of Bardog!

IMG_2604Naturally we finished up the evening at a Greenwich Village staple and had burgers with Vodka from Austin.

A good time was had by all. Thanks Murphranks.

14 days can make one two week…..

I know I should keep my day job because of that groan’r. No it isn’t Lent just yet as my yearly Lenten tradition of providing you with corny kid jokes on The Book of Face. For 14 days (hopefully ending today) in a row we have had below freezing temps in Gotham. This past weekend it was BSC (Ball Shrinking Cold) as with the wind chill from the East River temps were below freezing and were -1 to -15 degrees.

Yes I know that Memphis had some cold weather and there are some who have to pay a plumber and even some of my San Pedro folks were bitching but give me a break. When you have to put more layers than an onion to take the dogs out you know it is cold. Hopefully today (Tuesday) the temps get above freezing and we break the streak. We had snow last Thursday and for all of you who think that the snow in New York is so pretty have obviously never been here a couple of days after it snows. The snow turns into New York Snow aka dirty and smelly.

IMG_2532You know it is going to be bad when they send out alerts because of weather.

IMG_2519What the Hell are These Things Used For?

IMG_2524Thanks to UWS Holly for this Gem of information. Get you a cheap pair of snow goggles during a Cyclone Bomb. Blowing Snow into your eyes sucks but wearing these helps.

IMG_2523Oh look how pretty 1st Avenue is. Yeah it sucks!

53677705979__45D17950-2FF6-4AF6-B990-81795E5E223FSnow on our window.

IMG_2537Afterwards the sidewalks are shoveled but normally you lose a couple feet to the piles of snow. This makes for lots of bottlenecks during rush hour. Especially at the corners which aren’t plowed.

IMG_2546It can be a mess if you are parked on the right side of the street. That’s where the plows push the snow. Aka your car will get blocked in! Recall that shovel in the earlier picture?

IMG_2535This dog loved the snow. Our dogs…not so much!

IMG_2538Here is what sucks about plowed streets. I can’t jaywalk as easy unless I want to mountain goat up and over the ice mountain.

IMG_2520Best Part of Thursday during the snow storm!

Hope you had a good one!


Merry New Year – Beef Jerky Time!

Hope that you had a great New Years Eve and New Years Day. I am currently enjoying poor health (not from alcohol you jackasses) because 300 gallons of snot is being produced in my head so my throat and nose have been on overdrive today. The joys of living here in the North.

Anyway I am going to try to catch up with this post so my next post (probably towards the end of the week) will be current. With that here are some pics on my iFoam.

IMG_2443Son, I don’t care if you are from the Fucking North Pole, it is winter here in New York City and the floors are NASTY. Put some fucking shoes on! Oh and this is the same guy who pulled my (still in the dryer and on the cool down cycle) laundry out and put it in a basket. He may be missing some clothes…..

IMG_2432Our WiFi name is “Penny Get Your Own Wifi” from Big Bang Theory. I am glad to know that there are some Seinfeld fans out there still!

IMG_2455Shout out to my favorite Hoosier Work Wife!

IMG_4077So glad these two knuckleheads came into town and I was able to meet up with them for a drink. I need to get out to Colorado for a trip.

IMG_7873Let this be a lesson to you iFoam people. If you have your ‘airdrop’ app thing on then people can put pics on your foam. Thankfully it wasn’t a hammer pic like I understand is the all the rage on the subways but some girls who were at the next table to us. They were cute and had a blast.

IMG_2486W46th Street between 8th and 7th Ave. Or as I told my father – the closest that I wanted to get to the silliness of Times Square.

IMG_2483Looks like I will never have to cook another meal while living in New York City. *unless we go visit Lightbulbs parents and I have to smoke meat* Momma got her an InstaPot. The problem is that I am not a big fan of yogurt.

IMG_2509Zsquared on New Years Eve #theyweresober

IMG_2510The Trumpets on New Years Eve #wewerenot

Hope you had a good laugh and had a great New Years Eve.

As a friend of mine said there are 365 days in a year so we have 365 chances. Go Make A Fucking Difference! If 2017 wasn’t your year then change your circumstances. Don’t bitch!




Special Saturday Post – Go Tigers Go

Been busy since getting back from Memphis. We just left town as the Flu Bug was arriving and have been overdosing on Airborne and all kinds of old wives tales on how to stay healthy. Anyway it was a good trip and we tried to see as many people as we could in such a short time.

I plan on ‘borrowing’ an idea from JENSIZED and post something similar to her 10 things she accomplished probably tomorrow. Right now it is snowing, I have to go get the dogs from the groomer and there should be cigars smoked this afternoon with the boys.

Go Tigers and if you are sitting on the couch right now and have Liberty Bowl Tickets get your ass off the couch. Go put on your bedroom comforter coat and get your ass to the game! We can’t let Iowa State show us up!

IMG_2460This is Monkey Head Maya’s sister. As you can see Maxi is much larger than Maya but we love them both.

IMG_2462Lady Killer – “Uncle CBT you paying for dinner tonight.”
Me – “Yeah but keep it light, I may be living in New York City but I don’t want to be reminded of those costs down here.”
Lady Killer – “No problem, Um Sir (*to the waiter) I will have the Surf and Turf!”

IMG_2463This is just F’d up! Why have wine in the grocery store if you can’t buy it on Sunday.

IMG_2466And for those of you wondering, no that dress that Mrs. Trumpet is wearing is not meant to be serious. It was her Tacky Sweater outfit that she got from China for $10.00 and took 6 weeks to arrive.

IMG_2468Yes, I even went to Mass on Christmas Day with my mother, wife, EGP, & EGP’s Dad. And no the church didn’t fall down either.

IMG_2467Because when you go to Mass you never know what you will see in the Nativity Scene. Take a look at one of the Wisemen that I put in the center of this pic. Is that M’effer wearing a pimp hat? I think so! Oh and if you laughed then you will join me in hell too! Welcome aboard!

IMG_2469Ziggy in the House!

IMG_2470Going to be disappointed that I can’t drink beer with this guy on New Years Day like we did last year!

IMG_2480Well I have always said that if it is going to be this cold it might as well snow. What an asshole I am!


Have a good Saturday and Thanks for reading.

Come on Lightbulb – Pics of the Week from Isla Mujeres y Manhattan

Merry/Happy Christmas, Happy Hanukah/Chanukah or Happy Holidays to you and to  my readers(all 14 of you!) If I have learned anything by living up here is that you always appreciate understanding someone’s heritage and or traditions. It is no lie that I grab my fair share of cabs but trust me when I say that I love asking the back of the head who is driving my cab; “So Boss Man….Tell me about your country.” If you come to NYC I implore you to please do this. Seriously please do it and you will find all kinds of country/family pride.

So I am going to get to the pics because I have had a helluva week and you guys (all 14 of you) hate my diatribe.

 IMG_2300Had a small fire on E70th a couple weeks ago.

IMG_2302Hey Guys is the Asian Fireman or @AB670 on board….yeah I know the answer.

IMG_2347RJ & Mal-O-Rie – So if we get this joint can you please promise not to procreate in the pool? #askingforafriend

IMG_2357I was warm here. I didn’t have to wear a bunch of cold weather gear.

IMG_2389Hey Staten Island S – Can you get us a bottle of this?

IMG_2394Tastes like Sambuca but its pretty good!

IMG_2411Maya is pissed and let me tell you how upset I was considering I was wearing shorts 2 says ago!

IMG_2412Maddy was not happy either!

IMG_24016 days in Mexico and I was offended that my beard was coming in grey. Pay no attention to the hairs on my head mind you! Hashbrown – at least I have hair!

IMG_2434Don’t blame me Maya….Blame the other one who put you in this outfit!

IMG_2440It screamed that I should come in and have a drink but it was 9AM and I had service issues. I will see you next week Village Tavern!

Seasoned Greetings to all my readers. All 14 of you!