CBT in NYC

Lay off Fuckers! I have been busy!

Welcome to another Sunday Evening post from Carbunkle Trumpet/Paul Allen where he may (or may not) have been enjoying some Sunday Funday while he was compiling this.  Anyway I have still have a couple posts brewing and I will do better this week but here are some pics I have that I can share with you;

moments_08_03_18_03_32These are the faces of people who were tormenting me last week. I will get you all back, I promise.

IMG_3950Booze may or may not have been drank at this joint this week. TQ you were missed. Next time!

IMG_3933Note to Self – NEVER EVER EVER FUCKING PISS OFF NOVA! Seriously this is some funny shit and I will wear it on occasion up here in Liberal New York!

IMG_3948Yes I posted the same pic again from the Featured Picture! Congrats to my Bar Wife on getting gainful employment up here in the North East! I can’t wait to hear her bitch about the winters up here. She doesn’t know what she is in for up here.

And yes folks it is Elvis Week! *EP gets his own billing*

IMG_3946Always impressive

IMG_3902Again I am not on a Fucking BBQ Team! By the way to my 21 readers – please tune into the Food Network on Tuesday night for the BBQ Edition of Chopped. I happen to know “A Guy” on that show!

IMG_3928These two may be the reason that I didn’t post much last week. Love them both to death but never get into a Vodka Drinking contest with them. Nobody will win!

Have a good week and I promise I will do better this week.

 

CBT!

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Strike up the Band We have lived on these Rocks for 3 years!

Wow! Another Year has come to pass and yet here I am still banging away on this laptop. I celebrate this milestone because I haven’t gotten hit by that crosstown bus or fallen ass over teacup down a bilco door. Sadly, I celebrate this 3rd birthday solo while right now Mary Louise is heading on a Ferry to another island down in Mexico with the MoHo’s. No I am not bitter about this one bit. I promise.

In her absence I have been writing this post in my head for a couple of days and I  have to say how humble I am that we are still plugging along in a city that could possibly eat us alive. I have always said that there are two things here in The Empire State that I always run out of; time and money. This year has been a whirlwind and I can’t believe it has been 3 years from when we rolled up to 1300 First Avenue and emptied our contents into the UES. This year there have been some major changes to our lives this year and l have always said that sometimes change is good.

In the past year some of our friends have also followed suit and made moves from familiar Memphis surroundings and dipped their toe into new cities and regions. I always tell them from our experiences that right now there may be tears of uncertainty but each day and week things will normalize and level out. I still look back and say to myself that if you told me 3 years and change that I would be living in New York and love each day of it I would have told you that you are crazy as hell. I am serious when I say that this was the best thing that we have done in our adult lives. The experiences and things that we have and continue to learn about have been amazing. Much like Anthony Bourdain told us on each show was that we need to explore and try out new things. Do the uncomfortable and you will be amazed at to what you learn and it will make you a richer person internally. I still miss that fucker. His story wasn’t finished.

People still ask me how I like living here I always tell them the same response. We love it and should have done this sooner. I am in no way dogging Memphis or our friends back there but Mary Louise and I always had an ‘explorer’ gene in us that was dying to get out. New York is a strange city and has a lot of people from many different walks of life. Much like a child we are always asking questions and seeking information. You know what we found out. They may be from a different country, have a different person that believe in or vote for but we are all children playing in the same sandbox and we better find a way to get along. Call me crazy but the first thing that I ask the yellow cab driver, after I tell them *in my best New York Accent*, is where they are from and “Tell me about yourself.” People love telling their story to strangers. There is a lot of pride in those words and I cherish each and every one.

While I sit here smoking a Perdomo stinking up my work laptop I recall all the things we did. They are in no particular order include;

  • Mary Louise completes and graduates with a MBA from NYU and this better complete her higher education quest. We don’t have any fucking room in closet for a Doctoral Robe and all that crap. (I am very proud of her for this)
  • Mary Louise takes a new job and a whole bunch of new responsibilities that I don’t doubt she will do great in.
  • Made a trip to Philly and got me an authentic Cheesesteak.
  • We moved from the Upper East Side to the Gritty Hipster streets of Downtown Brooklyn. That wasn’t easy folks, oh and moving sucks here in New York City.
  • One would think that downsizing from 1300 square feet to 535 square feet would be easy but try to move to another studio that is configured differently. Thankfully Ba made a trip to Brooklyn and helped us with the move.
  • I made Senior at my work so I am now a Senior Sales Rep for selling tourists tickets on those double decker buses.
  • We made a trip to Maine for Lobster.
  • We made a trip to the Riviera Maya of Mexico for a work counterparts wedding and made a one night trip over to Isla Mujeres in December.
  • Made a trip back home for Christmas and got to see our friends and family.
  • Had to check in on Kitty down in Belize in February and to get warmed up from the 4 Nor’easters we had this past winter.
  • Were honored to become Godparents for Willimena in April and now have another one who will possibly wipe our asses when we get older.
  • Reconnected with Vivian Longstreet and Stone and enjoyed a great weekend with them Upstate.
  • Had to make yet another trip to Mexico and insure that RJ and Mallory didn’t have tres children. (still unknown but we will see in 9 months if that was a success)
  • Mary Louise made a trip to The Hamptons while I smoked meat on Katonah Avenue in the Bronx.
  • Mary Louise currently is down in Mexico right now with the MoHo’s and will return on Monday.

Yep we had a blast on this island and on a couple other islands. Rather than collect stuff we have decided to collect memories and passport stamps. I am nearing 1000 words and will end with a quote that I always love. “Travel is the only thing that you buy that makes you richer”

IMG_2489Much like Black Eyed Peas and Greens on New Years day if you celebrate New Years eve wearing a Bowler hat you will have good luck. *taken 2 blocks from Times Square on NYE

IMG_1883New York Food and Wine Festival Event

IMG_1641Pipes and Drums Prom. Who knew that Mary Louise and Lady Barrister wore the same color dress.

IMG_0059Madison Square Garden Event – here Mary Louise is saying “W.T.C.B.F. Carbunkle Trumpet, LZ goes to all the good shows and you take my ass to a Collegiate Hockey match? You better step up your game and start bogarting the good tickets too!”

IMG_2151Funny I don’t hear her bitching about this one. Aboard the USS Intrepid for the Marine Corp’s Birthday Celebration

IMG_3427Willimena is going to be a handful I can already tell.

IMG_4024 (1)Who has 2 thumbs and completes her MBA from NYU in 2 years while working full time and interviews for a new job. This one! Seriously though. This is it for higher level education.

IMG_2821Right before we move out of the UES they open a bonafide Queso Mexican Restaurant Joint and we find a great Cajun place too! Thank God we have the Q Train!

IMG_3128Boerum Hill is pretty cool. If you walk across the street from our joint you are in Boerum Hill neighborhood. If you make a left and walk across Flatbush you are in Fort Greene. You walk 3 more blocks and you are in Park Slope. Confused yet?

IMG_1262So glad to see Kitty when she made a trip up to the Big Apple.

IMG_0501This is the face of a woman who is about to walk out into a friggin Northeast Nor’easter. 50 MPH Winds with below windchill temps and Snow. I ‘worked from home’ that day!

IMG_8491And here was the first pic when we moved in. 3 years later and we are still here and I may or may not be a liberal democrat.

Thanks for reading and for following this worthless dribble. Now pull that band-aid off and go out and make yourself richer and happy 3rd Anniversary to us!

Pictures of the Week

So the dogs are getting tired of me and we still have 4 more days till Mary Louise gets back from her “work” trips. I know that she will be glad to be back home and I have done a lot of chores this week getting the house ready for her arrival. Do you know how hard it is to clean a studio? Regardless, I plan on doing another post about enjoying Robopalooza but that is for another day. Here are some pictures that I didn’t post from Mexico and the past weeks.

IMG_4080Geranium approved this picture for me to post. She really hated Isla as you can tell.

IMG_3886Thanks to EGP and EGP’s Mom for the Shirt. I wore it the other day and forgot to snap a pic of me wearing it.

IMG_3883Forgot to snap a pic of the new Cole Slaw Dressing/Marinade

IMG_3870When the (Domestic) Work Wife’s midtown uniform vest wearing husband leaves his iFoam in the bathroom it gets a thorough cleaning, scrubbing, sterilizing and disinfecting.

IMG_3869If she had a Haz-Mat suit she would have worn it. Thankfully I had some gloves that I gave her. #Robocares

IMG_383038 years ago a movie about “a Cinderella story. Outta nowhere. A former greenskeeper, now, about to become the Masters champion. It looks like a mirac… It’s in the hole! It’s in the hole! It’s in the hole!” Came Out. And FRIGGIN LZ NEVER SAW IT! Guess what you are getting for your wedding LZ……

IMG_3824JP moves away from 501 and Ginger’s on 7th Ave closes. The Mighty Flynn (just coined that btw) leaves Leroy Street and then this joint closes. I am afraid if SP moves on then Down the Hatch will close.

IMG_3820You should always look over your shoulder when traveling abroad. You never know who you will run into. Yep going Left to Right we have – New York, New Orleans, New York, Memphis, and Memphis. So great to see the old Memphis Mafia.

IMG_3810Monkey Head Maddy is starting to resemble a predecessor Tiny Toy Poodle that my parents had by the name of Gigi. She loved sleeping in-front of the Refrigerator. Of course back in the day that Avocado side by side had an exhaust at the bottom that kept Gigi warm. Maddy is just lazy and lays out wherever she wants to.

IMG_3721Hey Work Wife – Down in Front!

IMG_3841Don’t feed the PorkOsaurus Web Master

IMG_3772I really am going to be pissed if Mary Louise Geranium and The Mo-Ho’s visit Isla Mujeres on Sunday. And if they get Breakfast Pizza and have Oscars…..

IMG_3758This place is what I think about every Sunday for now on. Just relaxing at the public beach with the island kids and families as I drink my weight in beer and listen to great music.

By the way – I may be posting a special Post on Sunday as it our anniversary of living here in New York.

Pictures from the Week(s)

Got a bunch of pics on the ole Camera roll that aren’t all shitty firework pictures so I will share with you today. Taking next week off because I am going to be busy making sure that the parents of Mary Louise and my (if I conjugated that wrong kiss my ass, I am typing this at 2AM because I can’t sleep) godchild don’t drink any tainted water on the fun side of the border wall. Oh I am sure that I will probably upload one or two pics next week. Anyhoo have a good weekend and keep cool.

IMG_3646We have now arrived at Swamp Ass Temps in the Subway. What you don’t see or smell is the sweat pooling in my shoe or the faint smell of GoldBond

IMG_3670Shout out to Baker Street Pub who was nice enough to put on the Summer League game for us last week. And Happy Birthday to our favorite slinger of Bud Light!

IMG_3586My Favorite Greek Restaurant has a really cool display of prayer beads in their front lobby that I just noticed.

IMG_3584That right there is old Skool Midtown Uniform or the Frank H Sweater Vest! Oh and the temps that day were well into the “Feels like 100”! What the Corn Bread Feck Pops!

IMG_3562Shout out to Shannon O’ L as I saw this shirt and thought of her.

IMG_3653When in Hipster Brooklyn…… Note the prices on the 2X4’s and half case too

IMG_3567I do love living here because I see stuff here that reminds me of living in Memphis. I mean who didn’t see this on Summer Avenue or on Stage Road atop the hill in Rocking Raleigh?

IMG_3566Mary Louise Geranium, MAP is very excited to just read smut books next weekend in Mexico. I am proud of her but will still divorce her ass if she goes to be a Damned Doctor. *editor’s note – that cheap ass University couldn’t spring for a sheepskin holder?*

Have a good weekend folks and hug each other!

Ring Side Seats for 4th of July Fireworks

One of the main perks of living here on the 38th floor of Downtown Brooklyn overlooking Manhattan is the view of the East River. Two years ago we went to Schroder’s house to watch the 4th of July Fireworks with killer views. This year we decided to stay in and see if Maria and Bill wanted to come over and to watch the fireworks. They were in so a trip to Popeye’s Chicken was in order.

Unfortunately the fireworks this year were delayed due to the shows and rather than a 45 minute show (7 barges on the East River at 5K a minute) they only had a 30 minute show. We did enjoy the show but even more enjoyed the fact that we had air-conditioning, a fully functioning bathroom and cold drinks. That to me was the best part of the fireworks. Needless to say we are thrilled with our views and that the building that is being built which would possibly block our view stopped off at 32 floors. Win Win for us.

IMG_3661All the FDNY Fireboats were out in full force before the show.

IMG_3660They kept the boat traffic North of the Manhattan Bridge

IMG_3663Wonder what color the Empire State that night – Red, White, Blue of course

IMG_3664I suck at Firework pictures

IMG_3666Like I said, I suck at taking these pictures.

A good time was had on a Wednesday night even though we had to go back to work on Thursday.

 

 

Emma Stone, Billy Jean King, and Paul McCartney walk into a bar.

Actually they walk into Alan Cumming’s bar, Club Cummings. This is a true story according to the bar owner who we went to see on Saturday night with Maria and Bill. His show “Legal Alien” is a mash up of songs, funny stories but he only down side of the show was that it was at friggin midnight! Seriously don’t you entertainers realize that we us old folks have to be in bed by then? Anyway Alan Cumming is a riot and gave us his outtake on certain issues that the crowd all agreed upon.

IMG_3533Joe’s Pub sure is proud of its Vodka.

IMG_3534I guess I need to start selling more Tickets to the Double Decker Bus tours on Monday.

IMG_3538He puts on a great show

IMG_3543Lace Sleeveless Shirt – No it doesn’t make you look Gay.

Hope you had a good weekend. We sure did!

 

Pictures of the Week

Well we made it to Friday guys! The schools are out for the summer up here so it is officially summer in the North East. This weekend we are excited in the fact that we really don’t have much planned other than a show on Saturday night/Early Sunday morning. Mary Louise told me that she wants to sleep in tomorrow as her ass has been getting up early heading to Penn to catch early trains into New Jersey.

Anyway here are some pictures from the past weeks;

IMG_3495Such a mean woman. Looking out for my best interest so I don’t get my ass fired.

IMG_3480Since we have grills on the 3rd floor I took advantage of them. Honey Ginger Teriyaki marinated Pork Tenderloin that Ernie Mellor of A Moveable Feast/Hog Wild Catering makes.

IMG_3481Hog Wild’s BBQ Shrimp on the grill (they ask that we cook on the foil) very strange if you ask me.

IMG_0428What in the Actual Fuck? Anyone who wears shorts with a suit aka Eddie Munster should have their throat punched. Do you hear me?

IMG_3419Coming up on the 3 year anniversary of us living up here.

IMG_3421When in Times Square

IMG_3423Someone buy my mothers house won’t you? We are jumping the gun and putting her in the Retirement Home with an open Bar. (I am kidding, she is moving near my sister in East Memphis)

IMG_3498A Midtown Uniform Sighting. It was in the mid 80’s that day but douche nozzle felt the need to wear a vest to keep him warm.

IMG_3501I still don’t understand the Pickleback thing

IMG_3500Took her 4 years to finally understand that when I tell her something alcohol related just accept it and don’t ask questions.

IMG_3499If it was only in my size…

Have a good weekend

 

This Town Sucks!

I mean there is not shit to do here in the summer! I am kidding because if you didn’t find something to do this past weekend then you really weren’t fucking trying. Friday afternoon we decided to meet up with UWS Holly for drinks. Now back in the days of us living and working in the UES it was kind of easy finding a place. But with momma coming in hot from Dirty Jersey, me being down in the West Village and Holly being in the UWS we figured that the Top of the Metropolitan Museum was only fitting.

The weather on Friday was prefect. Not too hot, not too cold and we didn’t have any rain on Friday! It was a win-win! Now there is a big ass disclaimer on attending any rooftop in New York City. Bring an ass-load of cash! Seriously it costs a lot of money to catch your buzz overlooking the city. I won’t go into detail on what a round of two glasses of wine and a specialty drink cost you but it does create a moment of pause when you think that you want to get your swerve on the top of the Met. It was fun and if you are here in the city during the summer I suggest you put this on the list.

IMG_3431It has been a while since I was in the proper Museum and we never went to the Greek Wing to get to the rooftop. We need to head back.

IMG_3428Looking towards Midtown

IMG_3429Notice that the folks on the rooftop dress up just like the Peabody Rooftop bars.

IMG_3430Looking towards the UWS and the Dakota is in the distance. Or is it the Ghostbusters building. I need to work on visiting the UWS more often.

IMG_3432Damn Nova even has her own building up here. She has the cool president, free healthcare, a building with her name on it but she doesn’t have Bud Light. So take that!

More tomorrow as Saturday we cranked up the Damn Volume and Ripped off the Knob!

 

Pictures of the Week – Who doesn’t love cold and rain?

Yeah, pretty much this weather sucked balls. If it wasn’t blistering cold it was a gully washing rain. Here are some pictures from the past weeks.

IMG_2988_LIDon’t you hate waking up the morning after a couple of beers and you text your drinking consultant? Oh come on….you know that you have done it. Stop judging me RJ and JL. You too LVD we have all done it!

IMG_2987“Why is there a bunch of crap in the sink?” – said the next morning after aforementioned drunken bender.

IMG_2976Sober….ish

IMG_2951Oh.Hell.No! If he wasn’t over 6 feet I was going to go over there and tell him that it wasn’t capri pant season yet!

IMG_0935Happy Birthday to this little Devil! Back when you were little and cute and didn’t have hair on your pencil.

Carnegie Deli pastramiThis always helps when you over serve yourself.

We are heading over to Philly this weekend for a 3year old birthday party. I bet it is going to be cold.

 

Pictures of the Week

Hope you had a good week. It is supposed to be actually warm today with a high in the low 70’s! Of course my arse is going to be in a training this morning and Hurricane Tucker rolls into town this afternoon. Here are pictures from a couple of weeks back. Have a good weekend, we are heading over to Downtown Brooklyn to check things out and maybe see the Lady Barrister.

IMG_2928So what that I have a diet rich in salted meats, cheese and you have to unhinge your jaw to get this thing in your mouth. (That’s what she said)

IMG_2942Oh look here is where Mrs. Trumpet goes to everyday

IMG_2908Great bar on the West Side and when you walk in it is like you stepped into a time machine

IMG_2910I am sure a penthouse on 5th Avenue overlooking Central Park isn’t that expensive. Lets buy two!

IMG_2946So I decided to do a little Juice Cleanse to “study” for my blood test for my yearly physical. Shout out to my cousin for suggesting this Bermuda grass and Tree Bark company.

IMG_2950Actually it isn’t as bad as one would think. Expensive and I am having some wild food cravings but I guess it will pay off.

IMG_2932Of course when you go Vegetarian (stop Laughing Amy Farrah Fowler) you do start cramping up so I suggest you get a couple bottles of this life saver. HEY AJ – Get these ready for the bar would you?

Have a good weekend