CBT in NYC

This Town Sucks!

I mean there is not shit to do here in the summer! I am kidding because if you didn’t find something to do this past weekend then you really weren’t fucking trying. Friday afternoon we decided to meet up with UWS Holly for drinks. Now back in the days of us living and working in the UES it was kind of easy finding a place. But with momma coming in hot from Dirty Jersey, me being down in the West Village and Holly being in the UWS we figured that the Top of the Metropolitan Museum was only fitting.

The weather on Friday was prefect. Not too hot, not too cold and we didn’t have any rain on Friday! It was a win-win! Now there is a big ass disclaimer on attending any rooftop in New York City. Bring an ass-load of cash! Seriously it costs a lot of money to catch your buzz overlooking the city. I won’t go into detail on what a round of two glasses of wine and a specialty drink cost you but it does create a moment of pause when you think that you want to get your swerve on the top of the Met. It was fun and if you are here in the city during the summer I suggest you put this on the list.

IMG_3431It has been a while since I was in the proper Museum and we never went to the Greek Wing to get to the rooftop. We need to head back.

IMG_3428Looking towards Midtown

IMG_3429Notice that the folks on the rooftop dress up just like the Peabody Rooftop bars.

IMG_3430Looking towards the UWS and the Dakota is in the distance. Or is it the Ghostbusters building. I need to work on visiting the UWS more often.

IMG_3432Damn Nova even has her own building up here. She has the cool president, free healthcare, a building with her name on it but she doesn’t have Bud Light. So take that!

More tomorrow as Saturday we cranked up the Damn Volume and Ripped off the Knob!

 

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Pictures of the Week – Who doesn’t love cold and rain?

Yeah, pretty much this weather sucked balls. If it wasn’t blistering cold it was a gully washing rain. Here are some pictures from the past weeks.

IMG_2988_LIDon’t you hate waking up the morning after a couple of beers and you text your drinking consultant? Oh come on….you know that you have done it. Stop judging me RJ and JL. You too LVD we have all done it!

IMG_2987“Why is there a bunch of crap in the sink?” – said the next morning after aforementioned drunken bender.

IMG_2976Sober….ish

IMG_2951Oh.Hell.No! If he wasn’t over 6 feet I was going to go over there and tell him that it wasn’t capri pant season yet!

IMG_0935Happy Birthday to this little Devil! Back when you were little and cute and didn’t have hair on your pencil.

Carnegie Deli pastramiThis always helps when you over serve yourself.

We are heading over to Philly this weekend for a 3year old birthday party. I bet it is going to be cold.

 

Pictures of the Week

Hope you had a good week. It is supposed to be actually warm today with a high in the low 70’s! Of course my arse is going to be in a training this morning and Hurricane Tucker rolls into town this afternoon. Here are pictures from a couple of weeks back. Have a good weekend, we are heading over to Downtown Brooklyn to check things out and maybe see the Lady Barrister.

IMG_2928So what that I have a diet rich in salted meats, cheese and you have to unhinge your jaw to get this thing in your mouth. (That’s what she said)

IMG_2942Oh look here is where Mrs. Trumpet goes to everyday

IMG_2908Great bar on the West Side and when you walk in it is like you stepped into a time machine

IMG_2910I am sure a penthouse on 5th Avenue overlooking Central Park isn’t that expensive. Lets buy two!

IMG_2946So I decided to do a little Juice Cleanse to “study” for my blood test for my yearly physical. Shout out to my cousin for suggesting this Bermuda grass and Tree Bark company.

IMG_2950Actually it isn’t as bad as one would think. Expensive and I am having some wild food cravings but I guess it will pay off.

IMG_2932Of course when you go Vegetarian (stop Laughing Amy Farrah Fowler) you do start cramping up so I suggest you get a couple bottles of this life saver. HEY AJ – Get these ready for the bar would you?

Have a good weekend

 

Pictures from the Week

As we close out the week with yet again shitty cold weather I think back to when it wasn’t ball shrinking cold here and there were leaves on trees and such. Is it obvious that we are growing weary of Ole Man Winter? Daily I cure RAB’s name for calling Mother Nature a crack whore because this is for the birds.

IMG_2899Who ever heard of Opening Day getting Snowed Out? It has happened twice since moving up here.

IMG_2885Made a trip to Patrizia’s during Holy Week.

IMG_2886See I had my recommended daily allowance of Fruit!

IMG_2884Took the College Kids to a Burger Joint in a Hotel. I think they were impressed

 

IMG_2911If I had known that this joker were in town I would have met up with him for a drink. One of these days I am going to sit down with him and drink some Vodka!

IMG_2879Was able to grab a Pastrami the other day since these guys weren’t closed for Passover

IMG_2866Nobody notices that you are doing the walk of shame lady! You hold that head high with your smudged make up and your dignity wadded up in your purse.

Have a good weekend!

What do you do when you circle the Sun 48 times?

You celebrate it just like you came into this world: Naked, Confused, and Hungry.

One of the positive things about Facebook is that Facebook Birthdays ARE FRIGGIN AWESOME! I have been having a love/hate with this social media platform as of late but to all those who sent me a message (even some of inappropriate ones) I appreciate you and them!

So for this birthday I decided to cash in on one of my personal days and I am really glad I did because the weather sucked balls. I started the day off by heading over to the West Side for some work shoe shopping. Following that I decided to pamper myself and got myself a “Royale Shave” from my barber Mark. I figure that I started shaving around 14ish so 34 years is about time to have someone else give you a decent shave and hold a straight razor at your neck. For those of you who are wondering what all this is, it is pretty much a facial but with a shave. Any my face feels fabulous!

When you have a 48 year old face that feels like a baby’s butt after a shave what do you do then? Why you get a cheeseburger at Finnegan’s Wake! I have heard ramblings that this Irish UES joint in addition to serving a proper pint of Guinness also has a great burger. It didn’t disappoint.

To finish out the afternoon I headed up to Adult Daycare on E73rd street where I was welcomed by some of the boys while we watched the Yankees Home Opener. I smoked a $30 dollar stick, drank a Nespresso and busted balls with the best of them.

I assure you that a Royale Shave, Burger from Finnegan’s Wake and fancy cigar and all of your shout outs was the best damn birthday I have ever had! Thank you!

Oh and I have 2 more years on the warranty until I have to start to find a General Practice doc who has the smallest hands in Manhattan! Anyone got the number of “The ASSMAN”?

MW40_40ZC_03_COLE_HAAN_BROWN_SETI got to be hip is what they told my old ass today at the shoe store. They look funny and my former boss is laughing at me right now!

best-world-wide-barber-Old-School-Barbershop-tattoo-ink-Gdynia-PolandLie back and have a hot towel on your face while you DGAF > a good day at work

5887911559_7c6b1da84b_o.0We drank here one time and for some reason it didn’t click. Granted half of the patrons are old(er) than us but they serve some good food here.

IMG_2912Disclaimer – I attempted to get a full Pastrami sandwich but I forgot that it was RAB’s holiday!

IMG_2914Cigar Inn on a cold rainy afternoon with the boys watching the Yankees Game while smoking a $30 stick and (allegedly Embargoed) cigar from a country that is 90 miles from our border KICKS THE ASS OF YOUR DAY!

IMG_2907I miss my favorite Mixologist who is older than me by 1 day. This was the greatest!

Again Thank You for all the E-Mails, Texts, Calls and Obscene videos!

Whisky Tango Foxtrot Carbunkle?

Stop yelling at me, you are probably going to see fewer posts between now and the middle of May. No I am not doing some weird Post Lent purge, momma is nearing the end of her NYU Grad School so the laptop is in full use. Anyway we really haven’t been doing much as of late *BECAUSE IT HAS BEEN SO FUCKING COLD* I mean seriously, we have had 4 Nor’Easters and this Sunday is the start of Seersucker Suit Season!

I do have a future coffee shop blog post/rant about 4 C-Word Upper East Side hard working housewives as I sat next to them at 80th and Lexington. Let’s just say that they might as well have been wearing tennis skirt outfits and or Lulumon leggings as pants. This past weekend was kinda lame but we have new iFoams and it only took me 5 hours to get that done on Sunday.

And as we know this week is Holy Week or as Julian Maile from Losers Lounge said on Good Friday last year “So Jesus died today but he will be back in 3 days. Pretty much anything goes!”

Happy Easter Folks!

IMG_2863When we do get out of our cages we do come up on some really cool shit! This is Grand Central Station as we were walking with my Work Wife (the Domestic One) so she could catch her train home.

IMG_2862The Real and the Domestic One! S/O to the Bar, International, Memphis and HW/AMF wives.

IMG_2856I mean seriously folks! This was taken last Thursday. I saw that the folks in Memphis were bitching about it being hot.

IMG_2858I seriously laughed out so loud that I had scalding hot espresso come out my nose.

IMG_0924Easter for the longest time was always trips down to Destin. I do miss some Peeps Jousting! IMG_2872

Happy Easter Spud!

And to quote RAB – “I can’t wait for you to tell me on Sunday that the bread is ready!”

A Grizz Game, Cigars on Tuesday, A Nor’Easter and by the way Its Only Thursday

“So is this a normal week for you guys?” That is what #2429 asked while we were belly up at the Juice bar this past evening.

#2431 replied in his best Southern/New York accent; “Well not really, it is quite odd that we have 4 Nor’easter’s in is as little 1 month.”

If you are wondering what those numbers mean, I will be glad to tell you but I will have to kill you. I really don’t want to do that because I just put a deposit on a condo south of the Mason Dixon Line and I do hate to waste money…….and beer.

So being that today is Thursday or as we call it Day 3 of Spring (kiss my ass you effin Groundhog) we have done a lot so far.  Monday our Grizzlies were playing Brooklyn and let me tell you, that game was depressing.

Tuesday I decided since we were going to have bad weather on Wednesday I decided to retreat to Adult Men’s Daycare The Cigar Inn and hung out while Mrs. Trumpet was at school.

Wednesday on the day of the Nor’easter we saw the deterioration of the weather with first rain, then sleet, snow and the wind that could suck start a Cumming Diesel engine. Let me tell you, I am ready for some nice weather this spring.

IMG_2850The either snickered at my scarf or felt sorry for me on Monday.

IMG_2851It really is pretty arena given that the acoustics suck.

IMG_2852Hung at the American Express suite for a while during pre-game.

IMG_2824Really? Again? Go home Salt Truck You are Drunk!

 

BBKw0eaYeah there were no flights on Wednesday

IMG_7676Any short jokes and I will call “my guy” and have this taken care of!

Have a good day!

Living The Rock Star Lifestyle Here

Clubs, 3 Michelin Star Restaurants, Partying till 4AM on a Tuesday Night/Morning what a week I have had this week….wait who am I kidding here? My ass starts wants to head to bed by 10:30PM each night. We had a busy week given it was a snow day on a Wednesday. On Friday night I met up with UWS Holly, Mrs. Trumpet and a school friend for some wine before they went to musical. UWS was heading to New Jersey and I was heading to the UES to do laundry. Yep Friday night and who do I have a date with? Tide Pods, Bounce dryer sheets and a good stiff Tito’s and Soda. I made that laundry my bitch by the way!

Saturday morning we got our Fresh Direct order so I was up early. After giving a shout out to “April the pregnant Crab in Baltimore” on the Book of Face I decided to do a little spring cleaning. Mind you it was a ball shrinking 30 degrees Saturday morning so any outdoor activity would require a lot of clothing and lets be honest – I AM FUCKING OVER THIS COLD WEATHER! I mean it is the friggin 12th of March, could we at least have mid 50’s for a high?

I took the dogs out, fed them, shaved my balls & back, I fixed breakfast for Mrs. Trumpet, then I decided it was time to clean out some closets. One of the great benefits of this 535 square foot apartment is that we have killer closets. It isn’t the walk in beauty that RJ and Mallory now have at 595 in Memphis but we are very lucky. Anyway I decided to tackle the entry hall closet, Shobo’s purse closet and then the attic (you wondering what the hell I am talking about) storage area. Yep it was a busy Saturday.

One would think that if you have already downsized one wouldn’t have to do it again for at least 5 years. Well nope, my goofy ass filled a suitcase that would cost over 200 bucks to fly domestic and I haven’t’ even tackled my own personal closet.

IMG_2808Wine Flights for 12 bucks at happy hour? Now I wonder why Mrs. Trumpet picked this place.

IMG_2812Pay no attention to the “Maintenance Wine” or my fancy La Croix bubbly water?

IMG_2813The Purse/Sweatshirt closet

IMG_2816The Attic/Back Room where we store all of our $hit. Yes those are gallons of water in the top right. We have to use distilled water for our humidifier (THAT WE STILL FUCKING HAVE TO USE IN MID MARCH!)

IMG_2817Since we just got rid of our larger suitcase we are now down to 2 carry on pieces of luggage.

IMG_2818The Office/Guest Luggage Storage/Beach Chair Storage Area/Monkey Head Bedroom

Bored yet? Yep, that was our Friday and Saturday. RELAX Folks, next weekend is the Super bowl of drunken drinking or as the Irish call it – St. Patrick’s Day. I have already spoken to my St. Patrick’s Day date and she is ready to drink with guys who have swords with me. This year is a bonus since this St Patrick’s Day falls on a weekend so Mrs.. Trumpet can join us this year for the whole drunken episode.

Sorry Folks, That is life in our Rock star lifestyle.

 

Man Time Flies

One of the only redeeming qualities of Facebook these days is the “On this date” part where you can see what you posted on this day for up to 10 years. On the 5th year of this past week we were across the pond for our good Friend’s wedding. Yep Papua New Guinea Mike and Claire were married 5 years ago this past week. Naturally we wished him congratulations and a text thread started with a couple of the boys. I didn’t want to remind anyone but in the past 5 years the following have occurred;

  • RJ & Mallory sell the Flophouse to Jenna
  • We sell 595 to RJ & Mallory
  • We then move to New York to drink with the Asian Fireman & Mr. 3 First Names and be an hour from Pepe.
  • RJ & Mallory go to +2
  • The Asian Fireman and the Real Estate Tycoon can’t be outdone and go to +3
  • Pepe and D3 go to +1
  • PNG Mike – MAKE SURE THAT CLAIRE DOESN’T DRINK THE WATER!!!!! Mrs. Trumpet has been drinking bottled water for the past 5 years.

734287_10151619122299928_599437964_nKegs and Eggs with the Lads. See all those Dark Liquid Glasses that are in front of everyone. That is English Coffee.

IMG_2766Right after that the Bar decided it was “Last Orders” because the Americans were swinging an invisible jump rope.

482274_10151634510739928_890101125_nIf you see this man and he says “Lets do a shot” you run like hell!

554896_10151634511129928_1783965562_nOh Look PNG Mike “Iced” down some beer for us.

526799_10151634511054928_1136011644_nMike and Clarie’s English Garden – We will put in an outdoor bar at the fenceline!

555064_10151634511259928_589787889_nI am only posting this so that the Asian Fireman and his wife can save it and we can torment Wee Fiona when she gets older and starts to date.

10554965_10152729330539928_1140361562_nBack when all 3 of these boys weren’t procreating.

I think that we need a return trip to Big Smoke soon. Anyone up for a field trip?

 

 

Pictures of the Week – Happy Fish Friday Folks!

Shout out to my favorite Pseudo Catholic R A B – She does loves Lent more than Brown Water Season.

So last weekend I was down in the count with a sinus infection and I guess because I live in the petri dish of society (aka New York) I am not any better. I was coughing up a storm this evening sitting next to Golden T (see what I did there TG) at dinner and she was concerned. I assured her that it was self induced and I would be back to my cigar smoking self soon. Regardless here are this week’s (it has been a short week) pics of the week. And I apologize if you are stalkers of mine on Instagram because you may see some repeats.

IMG_2739This is the equivalent of Krystal’s up north. And they ship them in a friggin box of 30!

IMG_2740So those two guys in the middle of the picture…yep they are twins and they just celebrated 45 trips around the sun. Oh but one of them is going to Memphis for Memphis in May BBQ Fest. So Staten Island S Squared (see did what I did there again) you want to be my date that weekend? I got “A Guy”!

IMG_2741Sunday we ate well on some Sunday Sauce

IMG_2751Not sure what is more frightening. The Tribble (Star Trek reference) on LJZ’s purse or the carpet at the Downtown Marriott.

IMG_2753So if I may bust some chops now. I had no idea that the A**** F****** was on tour. Photo Credit to Air Traffic Jenna

Have a good weekend folks. It’s been a wild week for us. I am looking forward to having a Sunday Funday one of these days.