CBT in NYC

Hope you like a lot of pictures of the dog.

I just realized that the last time I ventured past Nevins Blvd or 3rd Avenue was maybe Saturday of last week? Pretty much I walk across the street to the park to let the dog pee on the curb and then walk back. Either I have morning or evening duty as I swap that with Geranium. Another highlight is walking downstairs to get a package but that is pretty much it.

This presents a problem in that you dozen or so readers of this worthless dribble are now going to get tired of the pics of the dog. FYI make sure you follow Maya on Instagram – @Maya_in_NYC because she is going to be the new Influencer.

Without further adeau here are some pics I have on the iFoam.

I have said before I don’t watch the news. Thankfully JR lives over on The Rockaways and reported the Comfort is on it’s way
The Shit Got Real Folks – Can you readers who are still playing the “Oh this won’t happen to us” stop with the FUCKING secret house parties? People are going to die here and my biggest priority in my life right now is for none of my NYC friends to end up here on this boat.
Seriously STAY THE FUCK HOME Why are you out? Keep your ass at home!
I mean if we can do this in 500 square feet with no backyard then what is your excuse.
S/O to Mr. 3 First Names as I had no idea about the show “Take Me To The River” Pay no attention to that Orange Juice in the glasses.
This is Maya’s boyfriend who waits patiently each morning for her to come out and say hey. Seriously George’s mum tells us that he meow’s for hours to come out to wait by our door.
I really question how moving is allowed right now?
Wore this the other day to piss off my dad.
No I am not taking a pic of my Junk (Behave Kitty) I was showing how Maya enjoys it when I take a break and lay on the bed.
Also you can see the white table on the right which is my desk in comparison to Geranium’s work station. We have been doing this now for 17 days and haven’t killed each other.
Fooking broke another pair.
I hope that everyone pranked thier kids yesterday.

Seriously folks stay home. The sooner we all do this the sooner we can come outside and hug and openly kiss people. I messaged one of my peers on the Garment District Team and told NC Tarheel M(squared) that I missed her face.

Support Local But More Importantly Know How To Heat Up Food Properly

So I work with 2 people, probably 3 who don’t cook at home. One of them even boasts that his fridge is empty with the exception of maybe a banana and just has Vodka in the freezer. The Rutgers grad, shit, I am pretty sure she keeps her sweaters in her oven. I mean with the endless food options up here why not. Sadly our favorite restaurants are hurting right now with the new rules they have to abide by. But let’s be honest. Take Out Food can suck when it gets cold right?

So the other night Geranium and I ordered some good ole Brooklyn BBQ from the fine folks over at Morgan’s in Park Slope. We ordered some pulled pork, brisket and ribs for dinner. Oh we also had slaw, mac & cheese and of course cornbread. By the way when did Cornbread become a staple of BBQ?

Here is what I did and for you 3 who don’t know how to boil water – pay attention;

  • When the food arrived I removed the plastic lids from the tin boxes and put them on a sheet pan. Side Note – It really is strange to still see Styrofoam containers in Memphis. We got rid of them a while back.
  • Now Rather than popping into the oven and have the food dry out. I Poured some water in the pan and then covered it tightly with foil. Place the tray in the preheated oven for about 10 minutes. This is called steaming and will put much needed moisture back into the food.
  • What came out was good ole smoked goodness and one would think we ate it straight from the line.
I may have arranged the food to look like the featured picture to stoke some more fun.
That is the last time I let Geranium order bulk foil. Almost taken 4 years to burn through it.
Pour about a cup of water on the tray and cover tightly with foil
NG – You do this for “Here Boy” and you will be elevated to the likes of Ina
The Ribs were good. Mac & Cheese – meh
Oh the Photographer…..drunk!
I do like Morgan’s Queso and Chips
Yo Chef Kelly English – Can you make a PSA down there asking the fine Memphis folks when they order food say if they need disposable service packs or not? These guys gave us just one. The amount of food we ordered in terms of normal take out – family of 4.
Seriously Folks – By telling the restaurant we can help them save costs and save what is left of this environment.

Folks you have to support these mom & pop places. They need the most help. Get Creative and help these folks. There was an old saying that read;

“If you don’t buy something we both are going to starve!”

Wash your hands and stay inside!

This One Could Get Me An Award

Geranium and I are very thankful for a lot of things. I am thankful that we are employed. Both of us have occupations that allow us to stay busy and focused during this. Like I have said numerous times, we don’t watch the news and my Twitter Feed is pretty non-current events as much as I can but still stay informed. Facebook, I have gotten to the point where I am just blatantly blocking people for their ignorance and or belief that there aren’t slants on news sources.

So on the weekend we don’t have much to do in terms of work and we now find ourselves finding shit to do. I do this because well, lets be honest, you can only watch Tiger King so many times. Another thing is that we don’t need to start drinking at 10AM. Yeah the vibe is getting serious up here.

Pre COVID-19 my Saturday would consist of doing laundry, taking the dry cleaning with Maya and then knocking out the other ancillary items. A drink with the Murphranks or some other fun item would be on our Saturday plans and that was it, we loved it! Now days we are missing it but know we shouldn’t sneak over and have a “house party” because it takes one fuck up and someone’s mother or father is dead.

So we are on lockdown and seriously, nobody really needs to be out in this shit. Because of this I created a list of stuff to do. This particular Saturday after we did the laundry I decided it was time to clean that oven and stove and the kitchen. I cleaned the bathroom like it was in a MTA Subway. Then I went big balls and went after Geranium & my jewelry cabinet.

Yes folks I am about to fucking blog about cleaning the oven and other stuff. Oh and because your ass better be inside you are going to read it too! Oh and the last picture on this thread is a bonus because that will tell you how bored I was today.

Yep, I shower every day and put on my uniform of Jeans, Golf Shirt and my Black Pull over. I did this when I was Fun-Employed 10 years ago.
Yeah I know it’s 10AM and I haven’t been out since 11:30 last night but there is another hooman in the bed so I am good.
Cleaned all the spices and oils.
Yep, This wasn’t fun but at least it is clean
Like I said, we are blessed so we paid the maid last week to make sure she stayed the fuck home.
Picture solely to annoy my foodie friends. Each box marks a trip to per se at Christmas.
I am glad this is done.
Geranium has a lot of necklaces
Broke out the Iron and did my handkerchiefs.
Who I am I kidding, I am not getting on the Manhattan Streets till maybe May and some think June. But they will be ready!
Now feel free to Judge The Fuck out of me.
Yes I ironed and starched the pillowcases.

So a friend of Vivian & Stone who we met many moons ago in Belize and now lives in Tudor City told me that he has his bedding starched. I was enthralled because I normally will just put the clean pillow case on the pillow and call it a day. So in my attempt to keep from drinking I followed Ty Middelton’s (that is his Soap Opera Name) advice and starched them. Wait till our maid returns and I inform she is to now do this. Like I said, this is some award winning shit!

Seriously folks – Stay the Fuck Home!

"Maya Lets Go Get The Package"

I was doing my work expenses from the Week ending March 13th. Last week I didn’t really have the energy to get it done. Normally I do my expenses each week and that reminds me; “Hey Staten Island Sam – do your freaking expenses!”

That week I had lunch at Tommy Bahama on Thursday March 12th with a client and VA. Now the brightest part of my day is taking the dog down when I get a package. I don’t know what is worse. That I am blogging about going to get 2 boxes or that you are now reading it.

Maya now leads the way when we go out.
Park is empty, normally you see some kids but they are stuck at home now. God Bless anyone who is working from home with little ones. Spoke with Don today and you can hear the stress in his voice.
At least it was a nice day yesterday.
You don’t see much activity on the streets or traffic.
Got to keep Trevor, Jackie and the staff at The Hub Safe.
As you can imagine the deliveries have picked up Substantially. Normally the food guys will lean on the counter and that isn’t fair to our staff.
Lots of Junk Food on that Cart. Got to Find out where they live
Social Distancing in full effect here folks. You have no idea how strange this is for New Yorkers.
I am happy to report that Maya is very happy with Social Distancing.
The staff has been great here. Once we get done with this I am hugging everyone!

So if you haven’t figured out yet “What was in the Box?” We got our order from Meh.Com. We ordered some new pillows and now that we are stuck in here we are happy.

“God has given You a huge block of Time. What are you going to do with it?”

There is a 2 pc band up here that we like listening to by the name of The Tall Pines. It is a husband/wife team of Connie Petruk and her husband Christmas Davis. They play on a lot of Losers Lounge Tributes and have a unique sound. They had a virtual concert (would you have said that term 15 days ago?) last night on their roof in the UWS. Connie said that term that I have decided to use as my title.

So what are you going to do? You going to drink your face off with Vodka, Gin and Rum? Gang, I lived that phase back in the day and you can only really do about 7 days until you have a body shutdown. Here in New York we are in a “Essential Lockdown”. Both of our work places are still blowing and going and we are trying to stay normal.

So what are you going to do during this ‘self quarantine” time? I mean eventually the booze, cooking, cleaning and Netflix binging is going to get boring. What next? As you can see I am ramping up this worthless dribble. But is it really making me a better person? I think it is time to ‘get uncomfortable’ gang. Step out of that safe place that we have been in for the past 5 days.

I look forward to these things. Please keep doing this. Seriously folks people need this!
Schermerhorn Street – Normally it is a ‘look both ways or you will get run TF over’ street. Now it is empty.
SERIOUSLY FOLKS – STAY THE FUCK HOME!
Hey US Retailers – DO THIS! I understand that baby Formula is in high demand. Stop hoarding!
Owner of Sid’s Gold Karaoke Bar and lead for all the Losers Lounge Shows is now doing a daily spot too! This keeps me happy guys.
What Fooking Day is it? I laugh at my old person pill organizer but it does help.
If you can – Keep those Reservations for future events.
“We spoke about how this is going to change things that we have never imagined but people still need people.”
First off ignore that Mug Shot pic on the left.
The Professor/Bobcat/Mr. 3 First Names/Lady Barrister/Geranium/CBT day drinking via virtual was a success.
Side Bar – if you want to have drinks in NYC shoot me a text and we can have drinks. This is now the new norm and people will need to hear voices and talk this out.
Berocca/Shelter in Place Vitamins are in house. We have an additional 15 days for the both of us. This isn’t so much for Corona Virus – it is for the nasty hangovers we are having each morning.

So what are you going to do with this ‘gift of time’?

Pssst Hey Man….I will give you $40US for a roll of Roses Toilet Paper….

If you don’t know what I am talking about I apologize, it is a Belize thing. Now, if you have ever had the pleasure of wiping your behind with that particular brand of toilet paper you will know what I am talking about. Why is everyone hoarding Toilet Paper during a Pandemic? Says the man who is stockpiling Vodka and Maintenance Wine…..

I have had a bunch of people inquire about how things are going on here in New York with regards to COVID-19. Can I be honest, you know that feeling when Dave Brown, Tim Simpson or Jim Cantore has been hyping the fuck out of a storm and you can almost feel it come in? You aren’t sure if it’s going to be bad or a complete miss but you recall that feeling? Welcome to Thursday March 12th because that is where we are in now, aka,,,,we don’t have a clue.

Are we being cautious? Yes. Are we washing our hands a whole lot? Yes. Are we covering our mouth when we sneeze or cough? Yes. But what about all those other fuckers on the subway or on the street? Have you ever felt sick or been running a low grade fever yet went to work instead? Can you recall when Micheal Jordan played the playoff game with the Flu? That is what we are worried about. Well at least me, I know how I feel and should I go into work or not. It is the person to my left/right that is holding onto the subway pole that I wondering about.

From what I can report to you is that we are all being overly cautions. My Tour Bus Clients are a little on edge which is to be expected. Some are working from home right now and some are fearing of having to work from home and losing major in-store income. Again, we are just waiting to see what happens. Oh but can I add that we are all are still riding the Subway System. Which now apparently should be avoided at all costs. Go Figure.

Am I scared…….Bitch, I survived Memphis Ice Storm in 1994. I lived through Hurricane Elvis in 2003 and I am ready for whatever happens. Obviously, we live on the 38th floor which can be a struggle but we can always find solace somewhere close. I hear that the Russian has a new pad in the UES. Z(Squared) has booze in Manhattan, I can feel it! Peppers and Maria – I know where the spare key is at that now that Wantaugh Long Island house is vacant….

I peed at Harpos, I took a poop at Alex’s Tavern with John McCormack laughing at me. I peed at The Stage Stop, I went to Confetti, I even sat on the couch at the Purple Church.
This is what CBGB’s is for you non NYC Folks.
Yes people are staying home. This is the Union Street Platform at Rush Hour. Normally it is packed like a sardine can.
Are things kinda weird right now? Well I guess I have to now schlep my Diet Coke up to the Apartment when my Fresh Direct order will arrive.
You see that Blue Haze over Manhattan? That is Corona Bitches!
LET ME BE VERY CLEAR – I am not making fun of Mask wearing people or my row mate. I am pointing out that unless you put the mask on your face you are just being silly. Kind of like “Oh I can’t use a rubber because I can’t feel things…..”
This makes me smile when I see people call this virus “Fake News!” or “Its just the Democrats putting us down!” Guys when the World Health Organization speaks you need to fucking listen.
But I may have been drinking very close to this joint on Sunday.
Am I disappointed I won’t get to hear those Fooking Bagpipes on Tuesday….Yes. But lets be serious, is the world going to end if the parade doesn’t happen?

In Closing.

We will be fine, thankfully Geranium and I are both healthy and don’t have any respiratory issues. Again, let me be very clear, we are taking this virus very seriously much like the flu.

We lost brother Jay about 6 years ago and he was in his early 40’s so any virus isn’t a laughing matter. But if we do catch it, I assure you that we will be stuck at home in 500 square feet.

I just hope all of my fellow New Yorkers do the Same.

Be Safe Folks and let the Doctors and Health Organizations tell us what we need to do.

17 Hours In Memphis

You recall the Bourdain show called “The Layover?” This post is nothing like that.

So Ba (that would be my mother) celebrated 70 trips around the sun back in December. Ba decided that she would celebrate her party in 2020 as there was a bunch of stuff going on this past December. It was decided that they would do a joint party and have it in late February.

That was great in theory but we had already committed on attending family Christmas up in Northwest Arkansas the week of Valentines day. We explained to Ba that we could only make one event and we agreed to meeting at family Christmas. Ba sent us the invite to the party and it sat on our table for a couple of days. We decided that we would try to make a trip down for the party by rolling that Non-Rev dice and get in and out flying stand by.

Long story short, we got in town Saturday late afternoon, went to the party, went to bed, flew back to New York some 17 hours later after arrival. Now you may be wondering what was the big deal and why didn’t we stay later or longer. You see Geranium was in the middle of a in town/out town trip and we agreed that we would make this trip brief as possible. Also and one of the tricks to flying non-rev standby is that you have to take those early/late flights that nobody likes to fly unless they have to.

Anyway here are some pics and don’t get your noses our of joint Memphis folks. We will be back, we promise.

Flying out of EWR makes one have to take Mass Transit
Given that it is a quick trip we only had to pack the overnighter
So Far So Good, We got on the flight to Memphis. Thanks TQ!
When it is the same temp in NYC and Memphis one can break out the warm pants.
Do I see a box of Caviar on the Tarmac? Sorry Sam.
They were happy and mad at us that we didn’t tell them we were coming in town. She showed us, she ordered a couple cases of Geranium’s Maintenance wine.
The Birthday Girls
I didn’t take any pictures of the party. Anyway we missed the first return flight and were able to get on this sucker heading to LGA
Home with enough time to get Geranium ready for Miami on Monday
Happy Birthday Ba!

Like I said, it was a little painful but you only circle the sun 70 times and you have party to celebrate it.

Pictures from Last Year and of the Week.

Don’t you hate those people? The ones who will say; “See you next year.” Those people are probably the same people who try to rush onto a crowded subway/elevator car before letting others off first.

Here are some good pics that I had from December and a couple that made it in January. Hope everyone is doing well and keeping to their New Years Resolutions. I am glad that Otter is keeping his resolution of drinking lots of beer and then dining on the finest Gut Grenade in his domiciled city. I am seriously jealous of those square roto-rooter burgers.

Thankfully nobody was hurt in terms of Staff or anyone from Memphis Fire Department. Those boys will rebuild and it will be even better!
One of our friends flew in for a couple of hours in late December so we had to go out and see him.
No wonder those Purple Tail Planes list to the left a little. That is an OBSCENE AMOUNT OF STUFF Costanza!
Never really paid much attention to this building in Tudor City. Wonder what it costs to live at the top?
We didn’t eat much during the Christmas season
Wait its called Lardo Bread and it is stuffed with Ham Goodness? Oh Hell Yes!
Like I said, I starved during Christmas! Thanks Chris, Maria and Inga!
Grabbing a smoke on the fire escape. I am pretty sure this is a No-No. Mr 3 First Names/Asian Fireman – Judges ruling?
Yeah I stole it but kudos to this guy/gal who put it out there!
Geranium got inspired to re-organize the bathroom cabinet. Thanks to Baltimore SB for the encouragement.
Thanks to Z-Squared for the Prince Ping Pong Balls. Did you know that he was a huge ping pong fan? I figured his little ass couldn’t see the top of the table.

Hope you had a good weekend and your football team won. Me, my ass is going to be in Mexico during the Super Bowl so I don’t give much thought to it.

The Decade in Review

I know that this post is a couple of weeks late. I have been kinda busy and add to that Geranium has been working at my creative desk…….#herfault

So I started jotting down all the events that have occurred in the past 10 years. I was filling up a Legal Pad I realized HOLY FUCK! We have done some major shit in the past 10 years.

Without further adeau and in no certain order are some highlights, difficulties, not so great moments. I look back on this list and I see things that have defined us. I chose that certain quote about the windshield vs rear view mirror for a reason. Without further adeau;

  • CBT was “fun-employed” for a bit – Let me tell you there really isn’t much fun in that. Mind you it was 10 years ago but as I look back it was the greatest thing that happened to me. I will elaborate on this later.
  • CBT became a Carnie for Memphis in May and lived to tell about it. I tell people up here what I did that spring they still can’t believe it. It taught me a lot. Most importantly I learned that one should always have a nickname and periodically yell “Go For Robo” when answering a call.
  • Geranium went back to cleaning bedpans. I joke when I say that she was asked to come back after she came down to the river and hung out with me as a carnie. That was true by the way. This also was a good thing for our progressive movement.
  • CBT went to work for AMF/HW. Yep I needed to get off the streets and I found a little nitch for myself and we made a little money and had some fun too. In all seriousness God Bless Ernie and Lynn Mellor for taking a chance on me. I will always be in your debt.
  • English Mike/Claire, RJ/Mal-O-Rie, & Mr. 3 First Names/VQ all got hitched in the past decade. What is important about this stat is that we now have a full basketball team roster of kids. More kids to help us when we get older.
  • Geranium got diagnosed and Then kicked the ever loving Fuck out of Cancer. Let me just say that not all superheroes get to wear capes. Since then we sadly have some friends of ours join this club too. This also defined us and put things in perspective.
  • Geranium decides to not only get an Undergrad but then a Masters in Bed Pan Cleaning. I have told her that there is no reason for her to go get her Doctorate or Juris Doctorate. Her ass is done with text books.
  • Carbunkle Trumpet completed his first and only 1/2 Marathon. Again, if my knees could bend backwards I would kick my own ass.
  • After many years of owning a bar in South Bluffs we pulled off a Ponzi Scheme and moved to the core of Downtown Memphis. Yep we had to get RJ/Mal-O-Rie’s house sold, then they bought ours and we got the condo. God Bless Ponzi Scheme Pawn JL for believing a bunch of strangers at the pool that one day. *Disclaimer – I don’t have good nickname for her so this will work till I come up with one*
  • Geranium gets her a Job in New York City! What can I say, we like it up here. We probably are going to stay for a little more while. Anyway we haven’t seen all the dive bars in all 5 boroughs.
  • I get a job seeing Double Decker Bus Tickets to Tourists. Ironic that I had to move to New York to get this job.
  • New Job (again) for Geranium – She left cleaning those bed pans to working for a company that would make the cleaning solution for the pans.
  • Move from the UES to Crime-Free Brooklyn – Let me tell you, if it wasn’t for Maria we may still be unboxing those damned boxes. Moving in New York sucks!
  • Stamps are getting put on our Passports – Truth be told we chose to move to New York so that we could take advantage of cheaper and direct flights to foreign lands. We really have enjoyed this.

We look back for a moment and are very grateful for our past experiences. Some of those experiences without a doubt has made us move forward.

Always look forward folks, always forward.

Balance/Transitions for 2020

KC Jayhawk used to talk about transition all the time before he and Mrs. Jayhawk were heading down to Belize. He would post two pictures side by side. (hang on I am going to go find it on his FB page, give me a minute) and talk about how he needed to transition from the one on the left to the right to keep him balanced.

I am assuming, the pic on the left was from his work and well, I kinda recognize that pic on the right. I think this dock bit it a couple years ago but I always like it. Man I think I went through every one of his pictures looking for this. He must be telling me something.

I am a big believer in balance. It wasn’t till I moved up here to New York did I really start to take stock in how important balance is. I am not talking about standing up and able to walk around. That part is pretty easy as long as you haven’t been talking to Uncle Tito. I am referring to balance in your life spiritually, mentally, emotionally, physical and keeping it in check.

2020 is going to be a big year for me as I will have circled the Sun 50 times and I am still around to talk about it. I also will be closing out the past decade that was a roller coaster for not only me but for Geranium. I went to visit my Internist/GP doctor early this week and I was relieved to hear that my previous doctor has left the group. He had really big hands and he kept on how he wanted to check my prostate. My new doctor mentioned to me about my weight, my liver enzymes, oh and my Cholesterol was a tad high.

I actually told Doc that I chose to come in on Christmas Eve for my physical and get my labs run. I told her that I was planning on being somewhat of a hot mess since I just finished up a fairly stressful peak shipping season. Add to that on the Saturday prior I was at a restaurant on the 4th floor next door called Per Se. Fuck I expected my labs to be high, the bill was high. I told Doc that I now have 90 days to clean my shit up (No pun intended) and get this 50 year old machine moving in a better direction.

Relax Andi, Margo, Taylor, Stephanie and all my other bartenders/liquor store owners – I am not going away forever. I am just going to moderate what I am doing for a while. Regarding my diet (right now Geranium is watching a cooking show) I got to do something. Sorry S(Squared) and Don but I am going to be eating a little better at our Cuban refuge on 45th street. I am not a big sweets fan so that is a blessing I guess but gone are those killer rolls at LPQ.

So what is it you are going to do better in 2020?

The Fat Kid Bunch and I were just talking how we hardly eat Fast Food. This was a necessity on the day before Per Se. I had a fairly good hangover going.
It lived up to all the Hype Again!
This is where it went bad Post Per Se – How many Tito/Soda’s can one person drink in 3 hours? Mr 3 First Names, Landlord and I tried to see.
Come to Brunch they said….It will be low key……and your hangover will be fine they said….. Friggin Drag Bruch at Chelsea Market with a Stage 5 Hangover. I may be smiling but trust me I was fucking scared!

I am going to do better, nobody wants to see a 50 year old short fat kid. Notice I didn’t say much about cigars or booze – Hey you have to have balance…..