New Yorkers are resilient. They can put up with a lot of shit that normal people would say “Oh Hell No, Check Please.” We cram into dirty sardine cans daily to get to work secretly hoping that the person next to us doesn’t stink or fart. We live in small ass spaces and pay more money for this when it is the complete opposite of people in other parts of the world. We live in a place where we have people from so many different countries it is just the norm to see people dressed in their native attire or hear their accent or native tongue.
New Yorkers survived 9/11, Hurricane Sandy and we most certainly will survive this damn thing. But what is going on right now is really strange to people who don’t live here. Case in point this whole Social Distancing thing and that there is NOBODY outside. This is what is really strange to us who have gotten used to it.
Oh I guess when we survive this thing and Geranium and I don’t kill each other we can get our “New Yorker” pin. Maria I am looking to you for your ruling.
You know how I hate to use the terms “The New Normal”, “Un-Presented”, “UnCharted”, “Be Safe”, and “Be Well”? I would kill to get on the subway and give one of my “Are you Fucking Kidding Me?” looks!!!
Some of you didn’t know this but I started in professional sales working for a Food Distributor. This was the old D.Canale Foods where the old downtown warehouse is now condos and apartments. When you start out working for them you go into the ‘Express’ where you handled smaller accounts. In addition to sales you also loaded and delivered your own orders. This made you get up early in the morning and naturally in the summer you sweated like a whore in church.
When I moved on to working for Caterpillar Material Handling I found that I missed that type of sales because you got some exercise but let me tell you something. I now have a huge respect for any person who has to deliver in the elements. My old former neighbor, the late great Wild Bill Craven, drove the Brown Truck for UPS. As he told me one time over a couple of beers, it sucks sometime but it isn’t like we are curing cancer.
Ladies and Gentlemen when we get done with all of this, I may openly hug and kiss any delivery person I encounter. Here they are out delivering the things that we need, making minuscule of wages and risking their lives to make sure we get our shit. I am serious when I say that anytime you get a delivery right you make sure you tip them to the point of financial uncomfortableness. God Bless You Men and Women.
Ok, I am off my soapbox now. Here are the pics from Monday. Oh and I didn’t leave the house till the evening walk for Maya. It rained all day and Maya really didn’t want to go out in that shit anyway.
Again, make sure you tip those saviors who are delivering your stuff. And be nice to your fellow Man/Woman.
I had a couple more pictures on my iFoam yesterday so here is your bonus Sunday post. And for those of you who are paid subscribers this one is on the house. #CBTCares
Oh and featured picture was taken about a month ago. It is very strange to say that I miss riding the Subway. At least I could see some strange people who are acting like a fool.
Z(squared) and I were talking the other day and we said when we do get to come out and re-socialize that it could be like THUNDERDOME! I mean this will be some epic drinking gthat will make St. Patrick’s Day, Santa-Con, West Village Halloween, and Coney Island Mermaid festivals seem like the Catalina Wine Mixer!
If you don’t know what I am talking about I apologize, it is a Belize thing. Now, if you have ever had the pleasure of wiping your behind with that particular brand of toilet paper you will know what I am talking about. Why is everyone hoarding Toilet Paper during a Pandemic? Says the man who is stockpiling Vodka and Maintenance Wine…..
I have had a bunch of people inquire about how things are going on here in New York with regards to COVID-19. Can I be honest, you know that feeling when Dave Brown, Tim Simpson or Jim Cantore has been hyping the fuck out of a storm and you can almost feel it come in? You aren’t sure if it’s going to be bad or a complete miss but you recall that feeling? Welcome to Thursday March 12th because that is where we are in now, aka,,,,we don’t have a clue.
Are we being cautious? Yes. Are we washing our hands a whole lot? Yes. Are we covering our mouth when we sneeze or cough? Yes. But what about all those other fuckers on the subway or on the street? Have you ever felt sick or been running a low grade fever yet went to work instead? Can you recall when Micheal Jordan played the playoff game with the Flu? That is what we are worried about. Well at least me, I know how I feel and should I go into work or not. It is the person to my left/right that is holding onto the subway pole that I wondering about.
From what I can report to you is that we are all being overly cautions. My Tour Bus Clients are a little on edge which is to be expected. Some are working from home right now and some are fearing of having to work from home and losing major in-store income. Again, we are just waiting to see what happens. Oh but can I add that we are all are still riding the Subway System. Which now apparently should be avoided at all costs. Go Figure.
Am I scared…….Bitch, I survived Memphis Ice Storm in 1994. I lived through Hurricane Elvis in 2003 and I am ready for whatever happens. Obviously, we live on the 38th floor which can be a struggle but we can always find solace somewhere close. I hear that the Russian has a new pad in the UES. Z(Squared) has booze in Manhattan, I can feel it! Peppers and Maria – I know where the spare key is at that now that Wantaugh Long Island house is vacant….
We will be fine, thankfully Geranium and I are both healthy and don’t have any respiratory issues. Again, let me be very clear, we are taking this virus very seriously much like the flu.
We lost brother Jay about 6 years ago and he was in his early 40’s so any virus isn’t a laughing matter. But if we do catch it, I assure you that we will be stuck at home in 500 square feet.
I just hope all of my fellow New Yorkers do the Same.
Be Safe Folks and let the Doctors and Health Organizations tell us what we need to do.
As you can see from the featured pictured that on the 18th of December I get an email from RJ saying that the gauntlet has been thrown. I confer with Geranium on her schedule and within 5 minutes of getting that email we are informing our favorite travel agent that we can’t be one-upped by RJ and Mal-O-Rie and to book us the same time down in Mexico.
I realize that the weekend we will be down in Mexico will also be the Super Bowl. I already knew by mid October that the Jets and Giants were out so I was ok watching a sporting event from another country. I was in London the previous Super Bowl and I didn’t really miss much. We stayed at a brand new resort and had a blast. Of course we don’t have to have much (except for a shitload of Wine and Vodka) to have a good time with the 4 of us.
We had great weather, the game was actually fun and it was good to get away from Memphis and New York for a couple days.
So who will you be emailing with 45 days notice to come to a foreign country and drink with them?
I know that this post is a couple of weeks late. I have been kinda busy and add to that Geranium has been working at my creative desk…….#herfault
So I started jotting down all the events that have occurred in the past 10 years. I was filling up a Legal Pad I realized HOLY FUCK! We have done some major shit in the past 10 years.
Without further adeau and in no certain order are some highlights, difficulties, not so great moments. I look back on this list and I see things that have defined us. I chose that certain quote about the windshield vs rear view mirror for a reason. Without further adeau;
CBT was “fun-employed” for a bit – Let me tell you there really isn’t much fun in that. Mind you it was 10 years ago but as I look back it was the greatest thing that happened to me. I will elaborate on this later.
CBT became a Carnie for Memphis in May and lived to tell about it. I tell people up here what I did that spring they still can’t believe it. It taught me a lot. Most importantly I learned that one should always have a nickname and periodically yell “Go For Robo” when answering a call.
Geranium went back to cleaning bedpans. I joke when I say that she was asked to come back after she came down to the river and hung out with me as a carnie. That was true by the way. This also was a good thing for our progressive movement.
CBT went to work for AMF/HW. Yep I needed to get off the streets and I found a little nitch for myself and we made a little money and had some fun too. In all seriousness God Bless Ernie and Lynn Mellor for taking a chance on me. I will always be in your debt.
English Mike/Claire, RJ/Mal-O-Rie, & Mr. 3 First Names/VQ all got hitched in the past decade. What is important about this stat is that we now have a full basketball team roster of kids. More kids to help us when we get older.
Geranium got diagnosed and Then kicked the ever loving Fuck out of Cancer. Let me just say that not all superheroes get to wear capes. Since then we sadly have some friends of ours join this club too. This also defined us and put things in perspective.
Geranium decides to not only get an Undergrad but then a Masters in Bed Pan Cleaning. I have told her that there is no reason for her to go get her Doctorate or Juris Doctorate. Her ass is done with text books.
Carbunkle Trumpet completed his first and only 1/2 Marathon. Again, if my knees could bend backwards I would kick my own ass.
After many years of owning a bar in South Bluffs we pulled off a Ponzi Scheme and moved to the core of Downtown Memphis. Yep we had to get RJ/Mal-O-Rie’s house sold, then they bought ours and we got the condo. God Bless Ponzi Scheme Pawn JL for believing a bunch of strangers at the pool that one day. *Disclaimer – I don’t have good nickname for her so this will work till I come up with one*
Geranium gets her a Job in New York City! What can I say, we like it up here. We probably are going to stay for a little more while. Anyway we haven’t seen all the dive bars in all 5 boroughs.
I get a job seeing Double Decker Bus Tickets to Tourists. Ironic that I had to move to New York to get this job.
New Job (again) for Geranium – She left cleaning those bed pans to working for a company that would make the cleaning solution for the pans.
Move from the UES to Crime-Free Brooklyn – Let me tell you, if it wasn’t for Maria we may still be unboxing those damned boxes. Moving in New York sucks!
Stamps are getting put on our Passports – Truth be told we chose to move to New York so that we could take advantage of cheaper and direct flights to foreign lands. We really have enjoyed this.
We look back for a moment and are very grateful for our past experiences. Some of those experiences without a doubt has made us move forward.
A couple of weeks back I kept on seeing posts about it being cold by my friends in Belize. Scoop had posted that she was freezing to which I responded that she was number one. Mind you it was a ball shrinking 30 degrees in Manhattan and we were getting some snow/sleet and it was miserable. She fessed up that she was in sweat pants.
Now before I really piss off everyone on Ambergris Caye I guess I better come clean. I too have been on the island during a ‘cold’ front and have even donned a light jacket. Mind you I was still wearing shorts and if you think for one second I had socks on under my flip flops…..awe hell no. To my buddies down there I get it, when you are used to temps in the 80’s & 90’s anything cooler and you are cold.
It all comes to what you are conditioned and used to. Back when we lived in Memphis during those lovely high humidity summers it wasn’t a big deal for us to vacation down in New Orleans during Swamp Ass summers. We moved up here and sure I am not thrilled about Nor’easters but we have gotten used to ‘brick’ cold days.
I recall when Florita A. would come to Memphis as a kid. The only time I would ever see her wearing socks was when she came to see us. Naturally she would get a summer cold and we would have to take her to the pediatrician but I get it. She wasn’t used to Southern Summer Air Conditioning going 24/7. Now she lives in Colorado and I bet her little ass is wearing more than socks!
I used to wonder what was up with Kitty and LuLu when we would meet up with them at Dale Hollow Lake. Here we are on the boat, the sun is shining and both of them are wearing bathing suits and sweat shirts. Once you get used to a climate your body acclimates to it.
So I will let it slide this time San Pedro, but I will still call you wimps when the temps get below 80.
So here is to hope that you guys down in San Pedro get a real snow storm or temps in the mid to low 60’s.
If you are a fan of The Godfather, Bronx Tale, Good Fellas, Micky Blue Eyes you may want to pay attention. About 2 years ago I was visiting with a client whose last name also ended in a vowel. He asked me if I had seen the new trailer for a movie set to come out in the fall of 2019. The name of the movie was “The Irishman” and the cast was going to be kick ass.
Directed by Martin Scorsese the cast includes; Bobby DiNiro, Al Pacino, Joe Pesci, Bobby Cannavale, Ray Romano, Harvey Keitel, Steven Van Zandt, Anna Paquin and many others. I mean this cast demands some serious attention. This past Easter we went over to Vivian & Stone’s house for brunch and met Welker White and her husband Damien. Welker plays John Gotti’s wife. Naturally we didn’t’ want to chat shop but she told us in so many words that it was going to kick ass.
So the movie like many movies there was a snag in production. Pretty much the backer of the movie pulled out and Scorsese sat with a half written movie for about 6 months. Then Netflix comes in and says “Blank check but you got to go with us.” The finish the movie and the plan was to have it in theaters for about a month then it will be on Netflix. Trust me because this movie is a long one.
Well the Movie Theaters get pissed so they don’t show it. What does Netflix do? The rent out the Belasco Theater off Broadway and show it there. We went this past week and it kicked ass! When it comes to Netflix watch this!
For those of you who bitch about Memphis in May gridlock when they take Tom Lee Park down to 2 lanes pay attention. Every September when The United Nations gathers for the General Assembly New York, particularly the East Side, turns into the worlds largest parking lot. There are only 2 things you can do when all 200+ delegates transcend on New York; plan for delays and don’t bitch about it, or go the fuck out of town.
Me, I find it fascinating that so much can happen in a week and it pretty much runs like clockwork. The security this year is going to be paramount. Given all that is going on in the world but I am always amazed at how much prep work is done. Here are some pictures from this weekend and on Monday.
Have a good week and God Bless the Pizza Delivery folks and those who live in Tudor City and near the UN.
So I started putting notes together for the Blog post on our trip to Dale Hollow. I haven’t published it yet because I want to have my proofreader Kitty put some eyes on it before I publish. Problem is that Kitty is in Belize and she is busy down there.
Anyway here are some pictures from this week and weeks past. Have a good weekend and stay cool Memphis folks. I hear it is hotter than 2 rats fucking in a wool sock down there.
Have a good weekend folks and I will work on the other posts.