CBT Takes on NYC

Living The Rock Star Lifestyle Here

Clubs, 3 Michelin Star Restaurants, Partying till 4AM on a Tuesday Night/Morning what a week I have had this week….wait who am I kidding here? My ass starts wants to head to bed by 10:30PM each night. We had a busy week given it was a snow day on a Wednesday. On Friday night I met up with UWS Holly, Mrs. Trumpet and a school friend for some wine before they went to musical. UWS was heading to New Jersey and I was heading to the UES to do laundry. Yep Friday night and who do I have a date with? Tide Pods, Bounce dryer sheets and a good stiff Tito’s and Soda. I made that laundry my bitch by the way!

Saturday morning we got our Fresh Direct order so I was up early. After giving a shout out to “April the pregnant Crab in Baltimore” on the Book of Face I decided to do a little spring cleaning. Mind you it was a ball shrinking 30 degrees Saturday morning so any outdoor activity would require a lot of clothing and lets be honest – I AM FUCKING OVER THIS COLD WEATHER! I mean it is the friggin 12th of March, could we at least have mid 50’s for a high?

I took the dogs out, fed them, shaved my balls & back, I fixed breakfast for Mrs. Trumpet, then I decided it was time to clean out some closets. One of the great benefits of this 535 square foot apartment is that we have killer closets. It isn’t the walk in beauty that RJ and Mallory now have at 595 in Memphis but we are very lucky. Anyway I decided to tackle the entry hall closet, Shobo’s purse closet and then the attic (you wondering what the hell I am talking about) storage area. Yep it was a busy Saturday.

One would think that if you have already downsized one wouldn’t have to do it again for at least 5 years. Well nope, my goofy ass filled a suitcase that would cost over 200 bucks to fly domestic and I haven’t’ even tackled my own personal closet.

IMG_2808Wine Flights for 12 bucks at happy hour? Now I wonder why Mrs. Trumpet picked this place.

IMG_2812Pay no attention to the “Maintenance Wine” or my fancy La Croix bubbly water?

IMG_2813The Purse/Sweatshirt closet

IMG_2816The Attic/Back Room where we store all of our $hit. Yes those are gallons of water in the top right. We have to use distilled water for our humidifier (THAT WE STILL FUCKING HAVE TO USE IN MID MARCH!)

IMG_2817Since we just got rid of our larger suitcase we are now down to 2 carry on pieces of luggage.

IMG_2818The Office/Guest Luggage Storage/Beach Chair Storage Area/Monkey Head Bedroom

Bored yet? Yep, that was our Friday and Saturday. RELAX Folks, next weekend is the Super bowl of drunken drinking or as the Irish call it – St. Patrick’s Day. I have already spoken to my St. Patrick’s Day date and she is ready to drink with guys who have swords with me. This year is a bonus since this St Patrick’s Day falls on a weekend so Mrs.. Trumpet can join us this year for the whole drunken episode.

Sorry Folks, That is life in our Rock star lifestyle.



Oy Vey……

*In order to get the full effect this should be read aloud in a Jewish Mother’s accent – “You never take me anywhere, I come home from work, slave away in the kitchen to make your dinner and you never appreciate me.” No Mrs. Trumpet didn’t say it exactly like that but it was along the lines of “we used to always have Super Bowl party plans.” Now before half of you readers start in on my ass with the “Yeah Cheap Ass Carbunkle Trumpet, why don’t you take the little lady out on the town.” We are leaving this Friday for some much-needed warmth and binge drinking so lay off!

We already had some plans going into the Cold Ass Weekend. We were going to see a play that our cousin was working in at her school. And another thing, it is cold as Balls up here, do you know how exhausting that is? Friday afternoon when we both got home we both took a nap and that hasn’t happened in a long time. After our nap we walked up the block to Manhattan Marymount where our cousin AL attends. AL is a fulltime student getting a degree in theater performance and double minor and when she isn’t doing all of that her little butt seeing every Broadway show known to man! She is a good kid and even will keep our Monkey heads when we sneak out of town.

The play was “Punk Rock” written by Simon Stephens and is based 6 student who attend an English Private School. AL told us on the front end that there would be some language and mature content and I am always down for some cursing and ‘awkward touch’ but this was a really good performance. It was dark and what I always appreciate about seeing something like this is that it makes you think afterwards. Hell, even at our dinner on Saturday night we were discussing the play. So thank you AL for the invite and please keep us on line for any future shows.

Saturday morning I had to take the Monkey Heads to the groomers and got some chores done. Earlier in the week Time Out Magazine mentioned that there were still some tickets available for Losers Lounge’s Tribute to Barbara Streisand. Maria was unavailable and because there were a small number of seats available (like right in front of the horns section) it was just me and Mrs. Trumpet. The show was great and as usual Joe and the gang killed it.

Afterwards Mrs. Trumpet and I went big balls and dined at the famed Le Coq Rico or as I called it “a chicken joint.” I will post separately about this joint because one can’t appreciate the meal that we had and I am nearing my 500-word limit.
So which one of you bastards wants to call me out for not taking Mrs. Trumpet out on the town? A play, a concert, a fancy dinner, plenty of good drink… Yeah That’s what I thought!

IMG_2649_LI (2)The Program from the play on Friday night. And until she wins a Tony or turns 21 whichever comes first you don’t need to know her name. We are very proud of her and know that she will be a success.

IMG_2660My view Saturday night at the show. Yeah my right ear is still ringing from this dude’s trumpet but it was a great show.

IMG_2669 (1)The Cast from “Punk Rock” from the program. It is neat knowing that at least 1 if not all will be preforming on Broadway or somewhere similar down the road.

IMG_2668I see that face and can’t stop thinking of “Meet The Fockers”

IMG_2663Sorry Grainbin Girl – Yes this is Chicken Stock Risotto with Shaved Parmigiano Reggiano and Black Truffles. It was decedent and good to the last drop!

Image-1It is always nice to know that Babs “Does Bring Me Flowers” as she sent this to Joe and the band!

So what did you Fuckers do this weekend? You still suffering from “Ring of Fire” from eating too many wings last night watching the Super Bowl?

Merry New Year – Beef Jerky Time!

Hope that you had a great New Years Eve and New Years Day. I am currently enjoying poor health (not from alcohol you jackasses) because 300 gallons of snot is being produced in my head so my throat and nose have been on overdrive today. The joys of living here in the North.

Anyway I am going to try to catch up with this post so my next post (probably towards the end of the week) will be current. With that here are some pics on my iFoam.

IMG_2443Son, I don’t care if you are from the Fucking North Pole, it is winter here in New York City and the floors are NASTY. Put some fucking shoes on! Oh and this is the same guy who pulled my (still in the dryer and on the cool down cycle) laundry out and put it in a basket. He may be missing some clothes…..

IMG_2432Our WiFi name is “Penny Get Your Own Wifi” from Big Bang Theory. I am glad to know that there are some Seinfeld fans out there still!

IMG_2455Shout out to my favorite Hoosier Work Wife!

IMG_4077So glad these two knuckleheads came into town and I was able to meet up with them for a drink. I need to get out to Colorado for a trip.

IMG_7873Let this be a lesson to you iFoam people. If you have your ‘airdrop’ app thing on then people can put pics on your foam. Thankfully it wasn’t a hammer pic like I understand is the all the rage on the subways but some girls who were at the next table to us. They were cute and had a blast.

IMG_2486W46th Street between 8th and 7th Ave. Or as I told my father – the closest that I wanted to get to the silliness of Times Square.

IMG_2483Looks like I will never have to cook another meal while living in New York City. *unless we go visit Lightbulbs parents and I have to smoke meat* Momma got her an InstaPot. The problem is that I am not a big fan of yogurt.

IMG_2509Zsquared on New Years Eve #theyweresober

IMG_2510The Trumpets on New Years Eve #wewerenot

Hope you had a good laugh and had a great New Years Eve.

As a friend of mine said there are 365 days in a year so we have 365 chances. Go Make A Fucking Difference! If 2017 wasn’t your year then change your circumstances. Don’t bitch!





Special Saturday Post – Go Tigers Go

Been busy since getting back from Memphis. We just left town as the Flu Bug was arriving and have been overdosing on Airborne and all kinds of old wives tales on how to stay healthy. Anyway it was a good trip and we tried to see as many people as we could in such a short time.

I plan on ‘borrowing’ an idea from JENSIZED and post something similar to her 10 things she accomplished probably tomorrow. Right now it is snowing, I have to go get the dogs from the groomer and there should be cigars smoked this afternoon with the boys.

Go Tigers and if you are sitting on the couch right now and have Liberty Bowl Tickets get your ass off the couch. Go put on your bedroom comforter coat and get your ass to the game! We can’t let Iowa State show us up!

IMG_2460This is Monkey Head Maya’s sister. As you can see Maxi is much larger than Maya but we love them both.

IMG_2462Lady Killer – “Uncle CBT you paying for dinner tonight.”
Me – “Yeah but keep it light, I may be living in New York City but I don’t want to be reminded of those costs down here.”
Lady Killer – “No problem, Um Sir (*to the waiter) I will have the Surf and Turf!”

IMG_2463This is just F’d up! Why have wine in the grocery store if you can’t buy it on Sunday.

IMG_2466And for those of you wondering, no that dress that Mrs. Trumpet is wearing is not meant to be serious. It was her Tacky Sweater outfit that she got from China for $10.00 and took 6 weeks to arrive.

IMG_2468Yes, I even went to Mass on Christmas Day with my mother, wife, EGP, & EGP’s Dad. And no the church didn’t fall down either.

IMG_2467Because when you go to Mass you never know what you will see in the Nativity Scene. Take a look at one of the Wisemen that I put in the center of this pic. Is that M’effer wearing a pimp hat? I think so! Oh and if you laughed then you will join me in hell too! Welcome aboard!

IMG_2469Ziggy in the House!

IMG_2470Going to be disappointed that I can’t drink beer with this guy on New Years Day like we did last year!

IMG_2480Well I have always said that if it is going to be this cold it might as well snow. What an asshole I am!


Have a good Saturday and Thanks for reading.


Pictures from Thanksgiving Week (didn’t take a lot of pics)

Had a lot of fun with friends who were in town over Thanksgiving Weekend.

IMG_2255It was kind of chilly and the crowds at Holiday Market on Union Square made my butt twitch so I needed a warmer and something to calm my nerves.

IMG_2243Walked to get EGP at Penn Station and snapped this picture. This is the front of Macy’s where they show the parade.

IMG_2244The Camera and Viewing Station for the Macy’s Parade

IMG_2247Best View of the Parade on Thursday. From the comfort of the couch with a coffee and on the couch.

IMG_2253Christmas decorations at Lillie’s on 17 Street. Hey RJ – We drank there!

IMG_2254If you don’t get into the holiday spirit after drinking here you have something wrong with you.

IMG_2250I thought that EGP was going to have a stroke when I purchased a Tall Boy Bud Light for the Train ride to Woodlawn. I told her it was tradition.

Hope you had a great Thanksgiving.


What a Week We Have Had last week

This has been a busy last week for the both of us. Here are some pictures to showcase them.

IMG_2018Even the dogs get into Halloween! No the Monkey Heads did not dress this year.

IMG_2025Got to visit one of my customers who is at 59th and 5th Ave.

IMG_2026Park Avenue

IMG_2027Yes I am in Sam’s territory. It is after all a shared territory

IMG_2029Mrs. Trumpet got in some “Summer Lovin” singing last week!

IMG_2035Asshole Cat

IMG_2008I mean it is the day after Halloween and you put that out?

IMG_2038Christmas season must be here if they put out the Panettone in the grocery stores.

IMG_2039Got to love Trader Joe’s and their wine delivery!

IMG_2040I mean did you really chain your bike to a subway car on the Q?

IMG_2046I think I may need some coffee for this weekend in Maine!

Hope you have a good weekend. We head to the state of LL Bean. 


More Pics of the Trip – Lady Killer and Ba take Manhattan 3.0

So this trip we did a couple things differently. For one we took the subway a little bit more considering we have the wonderful Q Line. Ba wasn’t too thrilled about taking the Subway. No she isn’t a public transportation snob. She was a little taken aback that once she stepped into the subway car half of the people sitting jumped up and offered her their seat. We did giggle a little about this during the trip.

IMG_1993While we were being delayed due construction I snapped a pic of Lady Killer on his iFoam

IMG_1994Here is a pic of Sissy playing Candy Crush sitting next to The Lady Killer

IMG_1995And here is Ba also on her iFoam while we waited 11 stories below ground. At least they all were acting like New Yorkers and avoided eye contact with the crazy people!

IMG_2003Good Times at Peter Lugar with the Family!

IMG_2006Normally everything in Shobo’s hand looks huge but not when you are comparing your hand to Kevin Durant. #TWSS

IMG_1998I need to come over for one of the lunch specials.

Like I said, a good time was had by all!


You want a burger?

Recall when I went to grab a burger with FZ while the girls were slugging wine like it were their jobs having wine club? I may have found a very good contender to knock Le Parker off the pedestal. Since the Losers Lounge show was starting at 9:30 we decided to grab dinner prior. The restaurant at Joe’s Pub is so-so and very expensive so I told Mrs. Trumpet we would explore the East Village before the show.

We walked down the street and found Paul’s Da Burger Joint on Second Avenue. It was dimly lit, looked like you needed a tetanus shot just to walk in the joint so it was perfect. We grabbed a table and within seconds 2 Bud Lights appeared. Mrs. Trumpet went for the sliders as all the burgers are half a pound. I opted for the “Soul Burger” in memory of that little burger joint on South Main. The “Soul Burger” is a half pound burger cooked with fried onions, cheese and ham, lettuce and tomato are optional. Sorry Rock-Mo and Andy, the don’t have a Greek Burger on the menu.

Let me tell you, the burger is legit! I snapped some pictures of the boys cooking the burgers (it does resemble Ernestine & Hazels) and it did remind me of home. We shall be back.

IMG_1926Established in 1989 – Hell New Jersey Dave was born that year! Its as old as him!

IMG_1927No Seth I am not going to ‘relocate’ this for you. Come up here and steal it yourself.

IMG_1921Mock all you will, I am loyal to those boys in St. Louis!

IMG_1920Looks like the counter was painted by a 6th grade class

IMG_1922You got to love torn up bar stools.

IMG_1923Doesn’t it resemble E&H’s on South Main?

IMG_1924Using the Cake Toppers to cook the burgers, that was unique.

FZ – We can go down there when the girls get their wine on!



Losers Lounge Tribute to The Bee Gees

After a summer hiatus the losers assembled once again at Joe’s Pub and naturally the Loser groupies got a table. This show was a tribute to those Australian boys and Disco Inferno super group The Bee Gees. We were missing some from our group so we invited Vivian Longstreet and her husband to join us. The First set was kind of a yawner as they played a bunch of ‘deep cuts’ that we enjoyed but come on, its a disco band. Play the stuff we know! Needless to say the Second act was much better and Vivian even joined the band and sang a duet with some schmo. “Islands in the Stream” was their choice and even though WordPress won’t allow me to upload the video it is a shame. Vivian killed it.

IMG_1932We were in the back this time. I swear we have not sat in the same seat in this joint.

IMG_1933Opening Song

IMG_1939Who doesn’t love a little Bee Gees A Cappella?

IMG_1941Belize and ACMB Fans (lets see if any of you feckers read this) Doesn’t the Bongo Player look like Ken F of Ken and Mel? Sorry to hear of Ken’s passing. He will be missed.

IMG_1945Yep I was texting UWS Holly who was +6 hours ahead of us in South Africa. It was worth it!

IMG_1947Even Bjarni/Clem was impressed with their rendition of “Grease” or Lubricant as they said they were to be singing.

IMG_1948Vivian getting ready to slay the dragon!

IMG_1950She did great!

IMG_1951Ahem Maria, can you get me a copy of that!

IMG_1952The incomparable Anna Copacabana!

IMG_1956Joe Closing us out!

Hope you had a good weekend! If anyone knows how to take better pics at a concert please let me know. I suck at this.



Pics of the Week and it’s been a busy one too!

In no particular order;

  • Happy Birthday Mrs. Trumpet! (what, do you honestly think I am not going to give her top billing? I realize she doesn’t read this worthless dribble but I am all about keeping the peace in 535 square feet)
  • Congrats to Double D on her engagement! It took that boy long enough! I mean Amy Farrah Fowler and I were starting to wonder if he ever was going to get off the fence and quit living in sin with you. No in all seriousness, congrats and elope!
  • Who has 2 thumbs and saw Martha “Snoop is my nizzle” Stewart on the street with work wife this Wednesday? This guy!
  • Who has 2 thumbs and saw Geoffrey Zakarian with “The Rock and Roll Rep” on the street this Thursday? This Guy!! If you are a foodie you will know who I am talking about.
  • Who has 2 thumbs and is going to the New York Food and Wine Festival on Saturday? *Yeah we can figure it out Carbunkle, go fuck yourself!*
  • And we finally have cooler weather in Manhattan! I only saw 3 puffy coats yesterday and one stocking cap.

Enough about me, have a good weekend

1433159218020Not only is a foodie guy he loves cigars and orange pants too! He actually was taller than I imagined.

IMG_1858Views from the penthouse office doesn’t suck you know!

IMG_1860Art is in the eye of the beholder. Or as I see it, someone went a little crazy with the bedazzler

IMG_1854I am going through reading glasses like Trump is going through popularity points

IMG_1853Hey Former Neighbor – I ment to ask you, did you and EBT husband ride one of these?

IMG_1848Doty – I found us a Honkey Tonk in Hells Kitchen!

IMG_1821You forget that you are also a Cruise Line hub till you see one of these big ass things go by on the Hudson

IMG_1820Missed the West Village!

IMG_1838Sometimes you have to stop and smell the fake flowers in our lobby

IMG_1803Happy Birthday to the Cougar! The Monkey Heads are going shopping today for you!

IMG_1802Guessing Someone is a Hot Rod Fan!

Have a good weekend!