CBT you are so full of Shit

Merry New Year – Beef Jerky Time!

Hope that you had a great New Years Eve and New Years Day. I am currently enjoying poor health (not from alcohol you jackasses) because 300 gallons of snot is being produced in my head so my throat and nose have been on overdrive today. The joys of living here in the North.

Anyway I am going to try to catch up with this post so my next post (probably towards the end of the week) will be current. With that here are some pics on my iFoam.

IMG_2443Son, I don’t care if you are from the Fucking North Pole, it is winter here in New York City and the floors are NASTY. Put some fucking shoes on! Oh and this is the same guy who pulled my (still in the dryer and on the cool down cycle) laundry out and put it in a basket. He may be missing some clothes…..

IMG_2432Our WiFi name is “Penny Get Your Own Wifi” from Big Bang Theory. I am glad to know that there are some Seinfeld fans out there still!

IMG_2455Shout out to my favorite Hoosier Work Wife!

IMG_4077So glad these two knuckleheads came into town and I was able to meet up with them for a drink. I need to get out to Colorado for a trip.

IMG_7873Let this be a lesson to you iFoam people. If you have your ‘airdrop’ app thing on then people can put pics on your foam. Thankfully it wasn’t a hammer pic like I understand is the all the rage on the subways but some girls who were at the next table to us. They were cute and had a blast.

IMG_2486W46th Street between 8th and 7th Ave. Or as I told my father – the closest that I wanted to get to the silliness of Times Square.

IMG_2483Looks like I will never have to cook another meal while living in New York City. *unless we go visit Lightbulbs parents and I have to smoke meat* Momma got her an InstaPot. The problem is that I am not a big fan of yogurt.

IMG_2509Zsquared on New Years Eve #theyweresober

IMG_2510The Trumpets on New Years Eve #wewerenot

Hope you had a good laugh and had a great New Years Eve.

As a friend of mine said there are 365 days in a year so we have 365 chances. Go Make A Fucking Difference! If 2017 wasn’t your year then change your circumstances. Don’t bitch!

 

 

 

Advertisements

2017 in Review – What did What?

Thanks to Jensized on a great post. Do yourself a favor and go over and check out what she accomplished in 2017. Talk about an overachiever! I mean the little shit ran 3 half marathons. Hell my old ass got tired watching the one outside my apartment and I was drinking beer and smoking a cigar! No in all seriousness great job Jen on your accomplishments. You got me beat in that I could cook pretty much anything under the sun except my pancakes making skills stink.

Anyway with out further fanfare here is Carbunkle Trumpet’s List of stuff that I, we or as a group did in 2017 in no particular order.

  1. Rode the pretty new shiny Q on Years Day from the Upper East Side to Coney Island to watch the Coney Island Polar Bears plunge into the Atlantic Ocean! You can kiss my ass if you think I am going to do that tomorrow. It is supposed to be in the low teens and the wind will be blowing like a bitch!
  2. Ate at some nice restaurants this past year to name a few and we drank a couple beers in some killer dive bars too; The James Beard House, Peter Lugar, ABC Kitchen, Boulud Sud and Boulud Bar. Sadly we missed Jean Georges due to the shomits and were out of town for Per Se’ this year. For the Dive bars we went to a bar on recommendations from Andi and had killer frozen drinks, found the Trailer Park Bar and the Murphranks took us to a couple fun bars. Not too shabby if you ask me. I can already hear Grainbin Girl cursing me. Hey Allison, we are going to make a go of it at Rao’s. I will let you know how it turns out.
  3. Mrs. Trumpet and I celebrated 20 years of marriage! I think we may make it, I guess we need to talk about having kids now.
  4. Saw some stuff that I still could not explain to my parents/priest/doctor. I am still trying to wrap my head around the Coney Island Mermaid Festival and let’s not forget Elegant Elliot!
  5. Got to dust off the Passport and got off the island. Dominican Republic (during rainy season) and Rivera Maya/Isla Mujeres
  6. Visited 2 new cities this year and had a blast; Portland Maine and Gulf Shores Alabama.
  7. Got to welcome Wilhelmina & Light Bulb into the world and got to see little baby Kristy get married this year! More kids to eventually wipe our asses when we get old.
  8. Mrs. Trumpet powered through Grad School and only has 1 class left in 2018. Then her arse will be hanging a masters from NYU on the wall. I am very proud of her for undertaking this.
  9. We made not 1 but 2 trips to the New York City beaches this summer. And its not as bad as one would think. Thanks work wife and Andi!
  10. We dressed up a couple times this year for fun. NYPD Pipes and Drums Dinner, Marine Prom, Pigs and Pints during Food and Wine week!

img_0148God Love these folks. It will be cold as balls tomorrow!

IMG_1586Kicking Ass and taking names since she got up here!

IMG_1875I have been watching Robert Irvine’s shows now. He is great!

1408906_1280x720Love me some beach! And it only takes an hour train ride on either LIRR or MTA

IMG_1082The Mermaid Parade. LZ was a good sport and wore that heavy arse crown all day long!

IMG_0940Lisa Marie and her little sister!

img_0425You got plenty of time to have kids Doctor Kristy. We are so happy for you guys!

img_0338I still say that I won Valentines Day! Had 2 smoking hot dates that night! Hopefully I get to see the one on the left minus all these coats (get your head out of the gutter you pervs) this February down on another island below the 17th parallel.

IMG_2181Lobster Mac and Cheese? Why yes I will!

IMG_1288I go from Lobster Mac and Cheese to Waffle house. By the way does any of my NYC readers know if there is one up here? And it doesn’t take 3 subway transfers, a bus transfer and a burro ride?

IMG_0553This was a fun bar, it is a time machine and defiantly was staged but nevertheless it was fun. Oh and the Tots were killer too!

 

Happy New Year and may your 2018 be a good one! Thanks for reading!

Pics from the Week – Christmas Edition

Man o Man has this week flown by. Amazing what happens when you have 4 days off and you roll into the week balls to the wall. This week was a good one and it is officially Christmas since our tree is lit, the one Rockefeller Center is lit and the former neighbor in Atlantic City is probably lit too!

IMG_2269Tree in Rockefeller Center the day before lighting.

IMG_2268Our Tree before lighting and trimming. #lotsofSap

IMG_2249The guys on 1st Ave at E71st were blowing and going.

IMG_2284Our Tree Lit and Decorated with the 8 ornaments.

IMG_2283Oh Look The Tree is Lit in Rockefeller Center *as seen on TV

IMG_2289It’s Christmas because the Doormen are working overtime!

Seasoned Greetings Folks!

Pictures of the Week (oh boy)

I am actually going to break this up into 2 pics of the week because if I am going to go to hell I don’t want to be judged because I also made fun of Christmas Trees. This past week was a wild one. I ran into Elegant Elliot twice, I saw a huge violation with the MTA and a bunch of wild stuff happened too! On a personal note, I love living in this city. It is quirky, weird, has strange people living here and it has embraced me with open arms.

IMG_2291I do love the “failing” media up here. Nothing is sacred!

IMG_2280Yes that is a bucket of KFC on the Queens Bound F Train

IMG_2241Soak it in Folks, Soak it in! Technically this dog is in compliance of being in a bag or kennel

IMG_2270And Here is LZ’s customer, I should have called these guys for the aforementioned picture

IMG_2224Very Strange to me, who can leave their clothes in the laundry room for 2 weeks and not need them. I would run out of undershirts after a week.

IMG_2267I love me some of this Little Brown Woman! She and I Snapchat all the time during Sunday Fundays

IMG_2290You know how wonderful it feels to have to purchase Suntan Lotion in December? Mexico bound next week!

IMG_2294Happy 5 years of having this little Monkey Head! I ran the Memphis Half Marathon 5 years ago and we went over to my dad’s house and they got her for me. They asked me what we should name her and this was the year the Mayan calendar was to end. I run a half marathon and the world should end – Hello Maya!

Be on the lookout for a noontime post! And have a good weekend!

And then it happened…….

So the Bar Wife/MILF and I would tweet each other this football season how much we hated football. Primarily this exchange was because our beloved Razorbacks sucked worse than Tennessee. Side note – I do worry that Bar Wife/MILF is introducing her daughter to all kinds of new curse words but only time will tell. I was telling her that she can become a Hockey Fan and I would even get her a New York Rangers sherzie if she wanted one. So far she is still sticking to her guns and not giving up on the Hogs. Before I go any further do you recall this POST when I called myself out for not watching much college football?

Well I did it again and this time I fear that I may be banned from Max’s Sports Bar because of it. Over the Thanksgiving holiday the work place had the suite in MSG. The event was for Red Hot Hockey which is Boston University vs Cornell in Men’s Collegiate Hockey. I invited some customers who actually were excited to attend the game (I found out that it is actually called a game instead of a match) and I got to take Mrs. Trumpet also.

As we were heading to the Garden I get a text from Utah TS asking me if I was watching the Iron Bowl (for you Yankees that is Auburn vs Alabama football game) and I had to call myself out. I wasn’t watching the game and was choosing ice hockey over college football. I know, I am kind of ashamed to admit it and I think that I may be also turning into the Las Vegas Canadian. #letsgoRangers

IMG_2272I am kind of ashamed to admit it to anyone but the Hockey was pretty good. And trust me when I say that the Fans get into it!

IMG_2258Since the Grizz are the new dumpster fire, I may officially become a fan of these guys.

IMG_2265Here is a cool thing that the Garden does. On the walls of the suite level they have pictures of past performers that have visited the garden. Yes that is Sting, Annie Lennox and Lenny Kravitz back stage.

IMG_0059Johnny and June Carter Cash

IMG_2266Elvis’ 1972 visit to the Garden. You got to represent!

IMG_2260Mrs. Trumpet – “man it is cold sitting in the seats”
Me – “Ice is cold honey.”

IMG_2262As usual the Garden was packed!

IMG_2263Fun Fact when Cornell scores they taunt the visiting goalie by chanting “It’s all your fault!” That didn’t go over too well with my work momma who’s son is on the 8th grade hockey team and is the goalie.

So hopefully when I visit Max’s Sports Bar in December the will serve me beer. I promise not to ask if we can put on the Rangers or Islanders if they are playing. I promise.

I hope you had a good laugh today.

CBT Breaks His Own Rule

Forgive me Lord, I took a bunch of food pictures this past weekend. And to make matters worse, I am now about to blog about it. I know that Ashley B is probably laughing her head off right now but yes, I am breaking Robo Rule #1. Anyway here are the pics of the wonderful food that we ate this past weekend and Shout Out to my favorite brown Belizean who would sent me ugly Snapchat messages all weekend long.

IMG_2162Half Dozen were killed within 3 minutes of arrival

IMG_2163How about that for a Lobstah Roll?

IMG_2165Lobster Eggs Benedict and Bacon – Sorry Brother Sam but this is defiantly not allowed

IMG_2179Half Dozen and had to have a Red Rocket since they were out of Bud Light. S/O to Ernie Mellor!

IMG_2181Lobster Mac and Cheese – You starting to hate me Mary?

IMG_2187Shit, we ate them so fast they didn’t even get an ‘Ashley’ picture!

IMG_2186Seriously we ate us some great seafood this weekend!

IMG_2189Bacon Lettuce Tomato and Lobster Roll!

IMG_2190Lobster Bisque

IMG_2197“We will have a dozen Oysters”
“Um sorry sir but we only have 5 oysters left in the house”
“Well ok then, giddy up!”

So do you still hate me Mary? Oh and for the record, I had me a salad for lunch on Monday and plenty of water!

The things you see running the marathon

Like I said earlier this week if you have never witnessed a Marathon it is a special time. The New York Marathon is a huge and as Katherine Switzer said; “If you are losing faith in human nature, go out and watch a marathon.” She hit the nail on the head with that comment.  Below are some funnier costumes we saw this past Sunday.

IMG_2111The Blues Brothers braving the rain on 1st Avenue

IMG_2110Wizard of Oz runners. S/O to the St. Jude Hero in the back of the picture

IMG_2109Dude don’t fucking Marathon and Text! That is Rule 2 behind ‘get nipple guards’

IMG_2101Um ok, I get it Mario

IMG_2100Yo Luigi, you better get your ass in gear, you be running second

IMG_2112She.Is.Wearing.Flip.Flops.For.A.Marathon. Yes saw that too!

IMG_2098I can’t really give them grief because if I ran this far I would be wearing a Tu-Tu also

IMG_2097In the middle of the 2 yellow shirt runners is a blind person. How cool is that!

IMG_2088Viva France!

IMG_2081Ok, I will bite, I guess that the other superheroes took the day off

IMG_2079Didn’t know it was a formal affair!

IMG_2078Running Aztec or is he a Mayan.

IMG_2072Don’t mess with his Tu-Tu

IMG_2080He must have lost a bet

andi and joNow the 50K runners who finished the marathon got a medal but these two were the real MVPs of the Marathon. They kept us in ‘bottled water’ after the Quitter Bus went by. Love me some J & A!

Have a good evening, it is supposed to be cold tomorrow!

“I have made a huge mistake” or “I am going to finish this Mother Fucker!”

Sorry for the profanity right off the bat. Those were the two very different comments from Marathon Runners said to the Asian Fireman and I yesterday. Happy Marathon Sunday Folks! From what I learned yesterday there are two huge events in the UES that one should attend; St. Patrick’s Day and Marathon Sunday. The previous two Marathons were either spent in bed with MPH or last year when Ba and “The Lady Killer” came to town.

This year the Asian Fireman and I hung out on First Ave to cheer our friend Stuart who decided to fly across ‘the pond’ and pay good money to run in 5 boroughs. The weather was great for the runners this year. Well aside from the rain but it wasn’t too hot nor too cold. If you have never ran a marathon you probably won’t get what this post means. Hell I wogged (walked & jogged) the Memphis half Marathon about 5 years ago and I hated it. I couldn’t imagine doing 26 miles much less a 5K these days.

Regardless, there were a bunch of significances and noted stories for this year’s marathon. One was the retirement of Meb Keflezighi who is one of the most celebrated US long distance runners in history. Second was the return of Katherine Switzer who was the first woman to run in the Boston Marathon. If you don’t know who she is, go ahead and google her. She is pretty special with regards to women’s rights. Oh and she was running the NYC Marathon at age 71 years young. My 47 year old ass got tired standing there in the rain yesterday.

And finally we were there to celebrate our buddy Stuart who was running on behalf of the MacMillan Charity. Stuart did a fine job yesterday and finished the beast. Also running in the marathon was Jessie who was also a friend of Mrs. Trumpet and mine. Great Job gang! Hope you had a blast and enjoyed the ride!

IMG_2047To say that security was tight is an understatement. We were not allowed to cross the street starting at 8AM and the cops didn’t play.

IMG_2052Here come the ladies. The order of the race is; wheelchair, ladies elite, men’s elite, general masses X5

IMG_2053Blonde haired runner in the middle of the pic, yep that is Shalane Flanagan and she won the women’s elite!

IMG_2058To say that the women were running fast is an understatement.

IMG_2060One of the wheelchair marathoner’s

IMG_2063Here come the Men’s Elite division

IMG_2065Tight Pack of runners, how they didn’t knock into each other I will never understand.

IMG_2066There he is folks, 42 years old and running professionally. He finished 11th this year.

IMG_2068Meb had more press and security around him than anyone! I am glad to say that I saw him run by me at 8mph!

IMG_2084The rain was a pain in the ass but I was ok with the temps

IMG_2090Snapped this pic as to it seemed a strange outfit to run in. Then Katherine Switzer ran by. Obviously he was security, or maybe he liked running in jeans.

IMG_2091How one person can run and still talk is amazing to me. How one who is 70 years old and can finish a marathon is fucking amazing!

IMG_2092#261 was the bib she was wearing when the race organizer tried to remove it from her. Her boyfriend at the time hip checked the race official to the ground. In 1972 Women were allowed to run in Boston.

IMG_2094Lots of St Jude Hero Runners at the Marathon today. Shout out to my good friend Photo Nikki who did a flying trip this weekend to photograph them. I cheered each and everyone of them as they ran by. *Nikki – I hope we get to see you at Christmas!

IMG_2075There goes our friend Jessie in the Blue/Purple Top!

IMG_2102Here comes Stuart!

IMG_2103He doesn’t look like he has run 16 miles does he?

IMG_2106Dude, you are the hero, we are just two shmo’s standing in the rain smoking cigars!

IMG_2113After 2 hours of standing there when Stuart ran by the parade was coming to an end.

IMG_2115Here is the quitter bus. Trust me when I say that if I ever did decide to run this fucker I would be riding in this by the end of the race

IMG_2120 (1)And then there are these 2 assholes!

Congrats to all the runners and finishers!

Pictures of the Week

It was a great week last week and I have the bank statements to prove it!

IMG_1491What this really means is that you should double up on Gold Bond

IMG_1476Friends of ours were in town on Saturday so we met up and had a drink. It was so great seeing them.

IMG_1468Anyone need some Corn? The Farmers Market at Union Square is legit!

IMG_1469We tore it up at the end of Restaurant Week.

IMG_1471Then we tore our livers up!

IMG_1466You can’t tell because of the shadow but “The Water Line” on my pants was up to my knee. The Friday Rain was a bitch!

Have a good weekend folks!

Memphis and MiniBar

So Memphis got Minibar Booze Delivery Service, if I may please issue a word of caution to my 10 readers from the Bluff City.  Don’t get me wrong, I am not a professional on delivery services. I still drop off and fetch my dry cleaning. I still do my own washing of clothes in the communal washing room (stop yelling LZ). I still go down to the corner produce stand and pick out my tomatoes but the rest…I let ‘my guy’ handle the heavy lifting. Here are the top 10 rules for Booze and Food Delivery in my humble opinion;

  1. If you are ordering for a booze/beer delivery to a pool party you may want to re-think this. Fireball, the comment “Hey Y’all watch this” and deep water don’t always mix.
  2. Uber Eats is a great service but do you really need someone to bring you 30 dollars of Taco Bell?
  3. If you only order a 6 pack of Bud Light and a slim Jim then we can’t be friends. No seriously, get the fuck off this page. We are done.
  4. Yes the prices are going to be higher than what Josh at Busters or Dan at Arthurs can offer you but you have someone bringing your hooch to your front door. Get your lazy ass up if you are just going to bitch about it. We (not so much me but the knuckle heads at the Cigar Inn) order high end bottles of scotch and bourbon all the time while we are enjoying a cigar. The rule is simple – If you have to ask the price then you can’t afford it.
  5. Tip the Dude and if he knows your house number by your order then you may have a problem.
  6. Seriously if you have your booze/food delivery guy’s cell number programed in your phone you may want to get out a little bit more and stretch your legs.
  7. Don’t bitch if it is raining or there is an event downtown (for my downtown readers) and dude is late. Don’t be that guy.
  8. For you females/soccer moms – If you have more than 2 Rose deliveries to a ‘house party’ in one day then you may want to get a case.
  9. Same goes for Sangria and Chips & Salsa.
  10. Enjoy your newest additional service in your quest to never leave the house. But it wouldn’t hurt to get out every once in a while and get some exercise or off the couch.

And no I am not looking at you Grainbin Girl, Theo’s Momma or even you Bender. Well yes I am going to judge you RAB if you can’t stumble down the alley to get your brown water.

#CarbunkleCares