CBT you are so full of Shit

Pictures of the Week

It was a good week. Geranium returns tomorrow morning as she is catching the red eye from Seattle.

Geranium made the crapper smell nice
Bloomingdales….Oh the Shame! Its a Union Thing.
Going to see one of these jokers next month. Another one in this picture also celebrated his Divorce. “Second Happiest Day of my Life….Divorced!”
Summertime means breaking out the fun suits!
Decided that the Chuck Taylors needed a bath and cleaning.
Had the owner of the Madewood Flop House Sneak into town!
GurleyGurl, Doty and Mel – You want to come into town on September 11th and go to an old tennis stadium?
Yep, I was in Brooklyn on Sunday. Matching Buns
“Hello 911 – There is a plane crashing into the East River.” – you would be suprised how many of those calls happen in a week.

Have a good weekend Folks!

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Street Fair Food Fail!

Saturday was Monkey Head Maya’s beauty appointment with Not Yolanda in the UES. Yes my dog is so bougie that she still keeps her regular girl in the Upper East Side even though we live in Brooklyn. I guess she doesn’t want a bun or wear a pork pie hat. Anyway after I drop off Maya I then head down to have a cigar at my old stomping grounds at Cigar Inn.

A couple of hours I am heading back to Brooklyn with a clean and nicely cut dog. Now while I was leaving the Cigar Inn to get the dog I noticed that the First Avenue Street Fair was in full effect. Considering I was a tad hungover from the night before I thought that Geranium and I should come back and walk around. Considering I didn’t have anything planned for the day and I was craving a Pronto Pup and an Italian Sausage sandwich.

I am guessing the Pronto Pup and Sausage guy didn’t get the memo because for 12 square blocks there was none of that to be had. Corn Guy, Arrepa, Gyro and a bunch of other non-fair food tents but What The Fuck First Avenue Festival planners? You going healthy on us?

A Gyro on every corner
Crowd was light too
Cajun Nut Meat…I think I will pass
What the Cornbread Fuck
What did you do? BBQ a shoe?
This one is for you FitzJohn.
Needless to say we high tailed it out of there.

Would it kill a Street Festival to get a Pronto Pup Stand Up here?

It’s Friday Bitches!!!!!!! We Made It!

To my 7 out of 15 readers who are not from Memphis; there is a DJ in Memphis who would scream her battle cry “Its Friday Bitches!” on Fridays when she opened her show. Naturally “The Lady Killer’s” best buddy, Christopher Blaine Jarman would bring it down a notch and just say “It’s Friday Snitches” because he was the afternoon guy and he knew that kids were in the cars at that time. Shout out to the Jar!

I have had a couple of people ask me what the hell is going on since I have been on a Blog writing tear lately. What can I say, when Geranium is back in town the world revolves better. Thank you to all of you who commented on my Say No To The Bag/Styrofoam post because that has been on my mind for a couple of days since my return from Switzerland. Actually last night I went down to Target to get a couple of things and naturally I brought my Old Lady Cart and LL Bean bag. The cashier informed me she is required to put scanned items into a bag because it is a security issue. This is going to break TCB’s Mom’s heart but Target is a huge contributor of plastic bag waste. Even though I was putting the bagged items in my buggy the bitch still double bagged it. I counted 16 plastic bags after I got home. They got to do better!

Anyway here are some pictures that I have taken for the past 3 weeks.

Prayers for the Repose of the Soul of James “Jimmy” Farrell a classmate of mine. He was the type of a person who would give you the shirt off of his back. 49 years old is just scratching the surface and prayers to his family and also to the Class of 1988. Honestly, I am most sad that I was not able to attend our reunion last year and get to see him. To be around him was a good thing. Sadly It seems like we have been losing a classmate every 6 months.

Jimmy, I will see you on the back nine or at Buckley’s Bar on Poplar and I appreciate all that you have done for the reunions. Nobody can ever replace your spirit.

Saint John Baptist de La Salle…..Pray for us.
Recall when I said that Cooking For One Person SUCKS? I broke out some stale French bread that Geranium and I didn’t eat so I made some Catalonian Tomato Bread this week. I hate messing up the kitchen.
We are now in 2 Handkerchief carrying weather. One is for my sweaty ass and the other is always for a lady that may need one. Is this something that a 90 year old Southern Gentlemen would do? I think so.
Wait till Tay-Tay or Anna Copacabana is at The Double Decker Tourist Tour Bus Ticket Sales office and needs a napkin. #RoboCares
Not a Molatov Coctail – Vodka Soda and Tea in a Light Bulb!
Speaking of Vodka Soda or Tonic…..
Don’t give me shit about my hat…I like my Silence of the Lamb’s Hannibal Lecter Hat. Wait till I wear this thing in the UES!
Insert Chelsea Handler Nugget Food Joke here
The fiscal year ends today at midnight. Everyone has been blowing out vacation since we can’t carry it over. I haven’t done shit this week.

Have a good weekend Folks.

A Dive Bar Find – The Classiest Shit Show in Red Hook! And we dig it!

On Monday Mrs. Trumpet informed me that we would be making a trip to Red Hook to partake in some crab and seafood at Brooklyn Crab. I had recalled this place as it is next door to Hometown BBQ and across the street from Fairways in Red Hook. Monday was a beautiful day so we sat at the upstairs bar and had a King Crab Roll and a steamers pot.

We decided that we would start walking and see what we can find in Red Hook because we only know this area by having Ikea and the Defonte’s Sandwich Shop. We come up on The Brooklyn Ice House and decide that we would give it a go. When we walked in we quickly realized that this locals only bar is just our speed. From the neon lighting, various bar posters and old beer cans on the wall this was our place.

This joint actually has a full menu and looking at the prices it was much more economical than Pig Beach and they boasted that their bbq was the best. We stuck to beers and occasional shot and took in the crowd watching. They have a nice outdoor patio area and it has a homey feel.

From the Brooklyn Crab Bar
This begs the question – why is there a cassette deck component atop the chimney. Got to love Red Hook!
The portable Smoker over at Hometown BBQ!
Belize?
Prices are not that bad considering it is Brooklyn
Beer and a shot – $6
Love all the stickers
Bring Cash Folks – No Credit Cards accepted
Coaster on top of drink – Universal Sign of “I went to pee or smoke”
Neon and stickers!
For those of you with a sugar rush they have a pickle jar full of candy
Not Everyone Can Wear Capes!

Don’t worry to my Max Sport Bar lovers who will be making trips up here. I promise to take you here!

Carbunkle is on his soapbox again

Now I have to come clean with you 15 readers. I really enjoyed my trips over to Spain and Switzerland to see Mrs. Trumpet. But what I am about to tell you may shock some of you. I really enjoyed being somewhere that has their shit together when it comes to the environment. Relax, I am not going to be chaining myself up to any trees or will get involved in the ongoing debate about Tom Lee Park in Memphis. I am referring to the way that in both Spain and Switzerland they have their shit together with recycling and the banning of plastic and Styrofoam.

Case in point – my corner deli and frequent breakfast haunt. While I was living the bachelor life I would head down there and get me some eggs, bacon and sausage. I would get a single use Styrofoam to-go container, take the container to be weighed and would have to almost yell at the cashiers; “I don’t need it in a bag or any utensils” and they would look at me like I told them I wanted to sleep with their sister. All I was doing was walking upstairs to eat it at the apartment and I have all that shit here. Why do I need to create more waste if I don’t need to? 

If I got a San Pellegrino, they would be trying to put that in a plastic bag and also throwing in napkins and a straw too! I can’t fault them, they are ingrained that everyone wants a bag and everyone needs a knife, fork, spoon combo kit. Seriously, how many of your offices have that drawer with all the ketchup, utensils, soy sauce and millions of napkins. The worst are the food delivery guys. You are delivering to a residence, I bet if you had an option to not get all that crap with the order maybe they would knock 50 cents off the order. Whole Foods does that if you BYOB.

When in Switzerland on Saturday morning I ventured out to get hydration supplies. Traveling 10 hours and then drinking enough booze to sedate a small city does tend to make one thirsty. I walked out onto the plaza and found the Coop supermarket. 3 big 1.5 L of water, 2 Coke Lights and I was ready to go. I get to the cashier and she looks at me asking if I had a bag. With my limited French and her lack of English she informed me that they don’t have bags and I have to bring my own. Try carrying 5 big bottles with a Class 3 Hangover two blocks and not drop anything. Was I kinda steamed? Yep. Why don’t you carry bags Coop Supermarket? Oh, wait why is the Ugly American bitching? Shut the Fuck Up Carbunkle Trumpet and do better.

When they announced the ban on bags here in New York you should have heard the people bitching. “What do you mean I have to pay for a bag? This is an outrage!” Personally, I think that we should all adopt the Aldi Supermarket model. Use a quarter to rent a cart and you bring your own bags or buggies. Think about it, for all of you bitching about the Kroger on Union Avenue how nice would it be with no carts being left in the parking lot? Sure, the number of bums waiting to take your cart would be epic but that solves a lot of problems there. The plastic bag issue….I now carry a couple of the plastic shopping bags that can be balled up into the size of a pack of golf balls. This also limits me on picking up all the big stuff and I am making the environment better. Now I can feel no remorse when I am clubbing the hell out of that baby seal!

Ok, I am nearing 650 words and I know that some of you are losing interest.

Do you know how many of these are flying around the city a given day?
Our Bags for Shopping when we head out the door
I have one of these in my briefcase for when I pick up stuff before heading home
My Old Lady Cart
Seriously, how great is this idea?

But seriously folks can’t we all do better?

Geranium and I had a blast this past weekend. Hope you did too. Pictures from this past weekend

22 years of marriage on Saturday, Momma got home on Thursday, and we had a 3 day weekend – Maya and I were happy! This is going to be more of a Friday Picture post. That being said;

We went to EWR to meet Momma when she got off the plane. Maya was pissed naturally!
Congrats to the Lady Killer on graduating from St. Dominic School for Boys.
Made some MoJo Coffee for Momma on Saturday with her new Keurig
Went into the city on Saturday to get some shirts. I was nice and didn’t curse anyone!
Two cuties right there!
Brilliant – The bar we frequent on occasion in Dekalb Food Market is a stroller destination for the families nearby. I always wondered why they had kids movies on the TV. The tables are full of the kids in highchairs and they are glued into the monitors with headphones on linked via Tunity. The parents are getting their drink on happy as clams. Like I said – Fucking Brilliant because not a child was screaming!
Holy Shit! I feel pretty good about myself considering I am the same age!

Hope you have a good week folks. Be thankful that it is only 4 days. Oh and Geranium is leaving my ass to head to Seattle today as well. She gets back on Friday and she is going to meet me at Andi’s bar at Baker Street in the UES.

Pictures of the Week…And Last Week Too!

*Disclaimer – I am preloading this on Wednesday night so next week my stuff will be more current.

Hey Nice Graffiti!
We sat at the bar and watched Skillet do this for about 30 minutes. My question was – “How the F Did he get there and how did he get off?”
I took this pic because the beer was good at the Mead festival!
A Gin Tonic and a Guinness? They have Irish bars in Switzerland? Yes they do!
Meant to show this to Mr. 3 First Names on Tuesday night.
Love me this dive bar. They have The Queen on the wall!
This won’t hurt will it?
Alabama and their abortions – This is my retort.
The Half Head CBT/Geranium Selfie!
Taco Girl. I got you a bouquet of balloons.

Have a good Memorial Day Weekend!

Playing Russian Roulette flying Standby – Sometimes it may taste like Lead Sandwich

What is the old saying, you ride her until she bucks you or you don’t ride her at all. (I am talking about riding a horse you sick fuckers) That is what happened to me on my last leg of my 3rd international trip in the past 60 days. That my friends is a good damn run if I don’t say so myself. Let me explain.

To get to Geranium over in Neuchatel Switzerland it goes down like this;

  • Subway from Brooklyn to Penn Station
  • New Jersey Transit to Newark International Airport Train Station
  • Air Train to Terminal C
  • United Flight from EWR to GVA (That is Geneva for you non airport people)
  • SBB CFF FFS Train from Geneva to Neuchatel
  • Walk down a ridiculously steep hill that you will now worry about on your return trip into town.
  • Boom you are there. Total Travel Time – 10 hours give or take

So my return was a little tricky. The flight from GVA to EWR was at an hour that would have made me get up at an ungodly hour on Sunday and the SBB CFF FFS Train was running local so it would have been worse. I found a GVA to Washington Dulles that wasn’t bad and the commuting flight from IAD to EWR was still open. There was another direct flight from GVA to JFK but it was fairly booked so that was my back up plan if I couldn’t get on the Washington DC flight.

So the return trip looked like this;

  • Bus up ridiculously steep hill from town to Neuchatel train station
  • SBB CFF FFS Train from Neuchatel to Geneva
  • United Flight from GVA to IAD
  • Clear Customs walk to the gate for IAD to EWR flight.
  • Find out that you are in position #20 and there are only 8 available seats. TRANSLATION – YO ASS AIN’T GETTING ON THIS FLIGHT
  • Find that there are only 2 remaining flights from IAD to EWR/LGA and they look fairly full.
  • Uber from IAD to Union Station to take Amtrak.
  • Amtrak from Union Station to Penn Station
  • Find out that original flight is now delayed 55 minutes due to weather
  • Arrive Penn Station at roughly the same time I would have if I actually got a seat on that booked flight.
  • Subway to Nevins Street
  • Hug and Kiss Maya! Total Travel Time – 19.5 hours and out train ticket ($200.00) and Uber Pool to Train station ($40.00)

Folks that is a win in my book! I told my former Domestic Work Wife that you have to get creative when traveling. Not only do you have to find additional flights and where hidden cities are you may have to rely on back up cities and train back in. We are talking seeing the Matrix kind of shit here folks.

Shout out to the hardest working people in the airline industry. No I am not talking about the pilots or the STB’s. I am talking about the flight attendants and anyone in HR. You are the real MVP!
Couldn’t get a seat up front but I got the next best thing. 3 seats in the bulkhead.
Neuchatel’s Train Station
Coming in Hot to Geneva
As Homer says on occasion “DOH! You better have plan B ready for the return trip Carbunkle!”
Oh look its Caterpillar Dealership
This flight was thankfully wide ass open! I guess not a lot of bankers want to go to Washington these days. Now I bet the flight from Russia to IAD is always packed.
Yo Holmes, Can you turn on the air a little bit more. It is 87 and I am getting ripe back here!
When you are almost to Philly and you get this notification. I chose wisely and am only out $250.00

Long Story Short – be flexible and always have a plan for back up. It was great seeing Geranium even if it was a short trip. I got to see Neuchatel. We went over to Lausanne on Saturday and met up with some of her work peeps who are Ex-Pats here for at least 3 months. Oh and we drank some beer! Thankfully Geranium returns this Thursday!

Cooking Solo – This Sucks!

So I got back from Barcelona. I got over the jet lag. I spent last weekend more or less chilling on the couch with the dog and managed to do a little ‘celebrating’ with the Landlord and Mr. 3 First Names. They got the final approval and permit on the remodel job they have been doing since this fall so we had some drinks to celebrate. Last weekend was great and very much needed after spending 18 hours traveling to a +6 time zone the weekend prior.

On Monday, Geranium informed me she made a mistake and a Marley Spoon food delivery slipped through so I should expect a box arriving on Monday. If you are familiar with the food meal plans out there you can get as many days as you wish and can pick the number of portions per meal. We are a 2 ass house so we get 2 meals X the number of days with Marley Spoon. Normally there are enough leftovers for Geranium’s lunch the next day and we normally get 3 days of meals.

Problem is that I am currently a one ass house and the meal came so late on Monday that I only have 2 days to cook a 3 day 2 person meal box. I figured that I would leave one meal for our dog sitter G-Man but I would need to cook on Tuesday and Wednesday. Another issue was that my lunches the next day were going to be booked so I am basically wasting a portion. How do single people cook a meal for one person? I joke with of one of my peers who is celebrating his birthday today that his fridge is full of condiment packets and beer since they don’t cook.

I forged on and made the meal with the idea of giving the other portion away. Problem was that George the Cat’s mom was away and the Bahamians at the end of the hall hadn’t been seen in weeks. Who the hell am I going to give this extra meal to? I made the extra meal and figured that I would either give it to our building concierge Jackie or I would take it across the street and give it to one of the homeless guys in the park. Please note that I am normally hesitant to give food away in the park. By that hour those guys in the park are either going to sleep or are just getting warmed up if you know what I mean. You just don’t know how many people are going to be in the park or what stage of high they may be.

Thankfully Jackie was at the desk and she loved her some sirloin steak. I informed her that I had another meal for Wednesday so she told me that she would pass on her normal food. Last night I didn’t feel bad because I was cooking this week for at least one person. By the way, when I told Geranium who I cooked on Tuesday night for she informed me that she ate potato chips for dinner that night. #SadTromboneSound

Bring your ass home Geranium and let me cook for you!

The fridge is full of stuff I have no time to mess with now! Incidentally Sam S – Velveeta and Red Bull are staples during single Carbunkle Trumpet Times.
Well I might as well make this damned thing
Potato Rounds and Green Beans in the oven
Oh I cooked them just fine but one sprung a leak!
Jackie was happy and even loved on Maya who was less than thrilled!

Anyone know of a good Single person menu item/dish other than Pizza or Fried Egg Sandwiches? I have a couple more days next week.

“The Sure Thing” – No I am not talking about the 1985 John Cusack Movie

Incidentally did you know that this movie was one of the only few movies that John Cusack didn’t also work with his sister Joan? What you think that all I do is sprinkle the word “Fuck” and take half ass selfies? I have another side of me. I just can’t see it because I am too fucking fat.

Regarding the title of this worthless dribble I am referring to the the weather. I was on the phone with someone from the home office in Memphis yesterday. There were some issues with some Double Decker bus tickets that I sold last month and I was trying to get it handled. While we were waiting for her computer to finish the report we were talking about the weather. She said that it was raining in Memphis yesterday and I said of course it is raining. It is Memphis in May and it always rains during Memphis in May.

The person from the home office laughed and didn’t realize I used to live in Memphis. I told her that there are 3 times in Memphis when you could predict the weather;

  • The Hottest day of the year – Dead Elvis Week.
  • The Coldest day of the year – The Liberty Bowl Game
  • 100% Rain on a certain day – Any Memphis in May Event Day

Now I would like to add a 4th Sure Thing to that list;

  • Want to know when it will rain in New York – Just wait till Friday! It always rains in New York on Friday!

Enough words, here are some pictures from the past 2 weeks that have been in my iFoam.

So good to see Joyce a couple weeks back! I didn’t hear of any flooding at the Yale Club! We need to go back to Cozumel!
Meh.Com gave me a shout out and is now reading this worthless dribble
Speaking of BBQ Fest!
Go Netflix this movie. It is great! I saw it on one of my many flights.
Sunday was a nice day at La Playa
We may have drank some Gin Tonics here on Sunday
LVD – They sell Corn Dogs in Spain!
No that isn’t a urine sample. It is Lemoncello!
That damn Picasso sure didn’t paint much inside the frame did he?
The Shit you see in Barcelona!
Narrow Streets with little signage. It can drive one a tad crazy but that is why you drink wine
OTB we found your boat!
I don’t think that RAB reads this worthless dribble but who knew Picasso was a fan of Nuggets

Have a good week I am going to try to get over this sinus infection that I got from flying to the EU last weekend so I can do it all over again next weekend!