CBT you are so full of Shit

Pics of the Week Live From Belize!

Too Many Good Pictures not to post somewhere.

You Coming or Going? The Old Veteran Jet Holland!
Oh He is getting Bouchy!
Slow Your Role Tropic! It isn’t even the 15th of November and The Tree is UP?
Such a great addition to the island. Great Staff and Owners!
If you have to have a sign then there must have been an incident.
Over Achievers!
Good to See the Bronx Representing!
Note To Self – Only get on Boats that Have Bars on them!
View North from CV
The Famous Shrimp Sticks from Blue Water Grill!
Catching Up with CNN Belize Felipe!
Geranium – Please take a picture of that for me.
Me – Ok, I will but may I ask why?
Geranium – I want to make that my signature on inner office emails.
Me – Good Call
Did you know it was his birthday?
And that he is the same age as Belikin only makes it better!
View of the Pool from CV

It was a great trip!

Have you Seen Ben?

Say that you need to find a couple to make sure that your first born navigates The Belize Airport and gets into the US without incident.

You would probably ask someone who is responsible and can be trusted right?

You certainly wouldn’t want to entrust this responsibility with someone who has an invisible child would you?

You know where this is going don’t you?

Survived his Maya Flight and made it to Delta Check In!
I got him on the flight but I am back here in steerage and Geranium’s fancy NY Ass is flying first class.
Here is where it goes bad, She starts in on the wine with her warm towel….
Shit we lost the Kid!

LYLTU#! Mrs. Otter! You two come up here and smack me for this Sunday Funday Post!

Have you never flown before? Did your mother not teach you better flight manners?

I recall those days of flying with my little sister and mother like it were yesterday. When we would fly I would be required to dress to the nines with shirt, tie and blue blazer. My sister would be done up in her best Sunday dress with bows in her hair and naturally we would sit in the smoking section of the plane. It was great!

Think about that for a second.. We had a fucking smoking section on those dirty ass metal tubes! I will be honest, I loved sitting in the smoking section growing up. It meant that we were closer to the flight attendants work area so we would get free refills on cokes. Yep Barbie would let my sister and I get all jacked up on Cokes while she smoked her Vantage Ultra Lights.

Geranium when she would fly for work would text me from time to time when she felt the need to punch someone in the dick for acting like an A-hole. I would normally make some snide comment because I knew was sitting in the First Class lounge having a drink while working. The best story was the woman who decided she would ignore the flight attendant’s request to turn her phone off and still was talking on it the engines were revving to take off. Geranium called the biotch out and got a couple “thank yous” from fellow passengers I might add.

So on some of my past trips I have been snapping people’s pictures who pretty much deserve to be put on Passenger Shaming. If you don’t follow them on IG (my boss informed me that this is the correct term to use instead of Instagram) you need to. Anyway here are some Pet Peeves of mine while traveling.

AKA if you do this………please Fucking Stop Immediately! The other option is don’t ever fly with me because I will call your ass out. I am serious when I say we are talking Ashley B “taking a photo of your food” calling out!

Rule Number 1 – Think of your Uber as a buddy driving you to the airport. Don’t act like they are your personal driver. If you do then you should give them cash money for a tip.
If not you are a Dick!
Rule Two – While Walking in Airports act like you are driving on I-240. Always stay to the right unless you are passing. If I pass you on the right I may give you a shitty stare.
If not you are a Dick!
Rule Three- You see Holmes here? He has his rolling bag, he has his hanging bag and he has his laptop bag. Airlines when they get full (pretty much all the time) will limit your carry on’s to 2 pieces. I bet this jackass tries to bring on all 3 pieces and then play the “You see that I have status on your airline?”
If you do this then you are a Dick!
Rule Four – Do we need to talk about this? Put your damn shoes on!
Rule Five – I am actually calling myself out on this one. When you belly up to a bar make sure you are respectful of the amount of space you occupy. I admit I was spreading out but if the bar was busy then you need to play nice.
If you do this then you are a Dick!
Rule Six – Snagged this off of the Internet. Do Not Be Gate Lice! Sit your Ass Down until called!
If you do this then you are a Dick!
Because even if you are going to hover around the gate you will still get to this. Its called a bottleneck you assholes.
Rule Seven – She is sitting in First Class, she gets those fancy socks but she decides to infect the entire space with her damn feet.
If you do this then you are a dick!
Rule Eight – Where are my scissors? If someone does this then they will be getting a trim.
If you do this then you are a dick!
Rule Nine – My Pet Peeve. You have been on a 2 hour flight. Why do you think you can shave off .2 seconds by jumping up in the aisle before everyone else.
If you do this you are a Dick!
Rule Ten – If you have 3 large bags then don’t call for an Uber Pool you need to call a moving Van! However, this woman did and went wild on 2 Uber Pool Drivers who told her to GFY. Actually when taking a pool try not do it from a New York Airport. Its just mean to the Uber Driver!
Oh and This lady is a Dick!
So if you break Rules One through Ten don’t be surprised if I call you out.
Don’t be that person. Be Nice! Fly right!

Hope you had a good laugh! But seriously do better folks and if you know someone who does this then please call them out on it!

Its the Most Wonderful Time of the Year – UN General Assembly!

For those of you who bitch about Memphis in May gridlock when they take Tom Lee Park down to 2 lanes pay attention. Every September when The United Nations gathers for the General Assembly New York, particularly the East Side, turns into the worlds largest parking lot. There are only 2 things you can do when all 200+ delegates transcend on New York; plan for delays and don’t bitch about it, or go the fuck out of town.

Me, I find it fascinating that so much can happen in a week and it pretty much runs like clockwork. The security this year is going to be paramount. Given all that is going on in the world but I am always amazed at how much prep work is done. Here are some pictures from this weekend and on Monday.

They have about a million of these things spread all over Midtown East
Bike Rack for Days
Confirmed with Mr. 3 First Names and Asian Fireman that this was a reserve company for the UNGA
No the NYPD isn’t into the Dump Truck business. They use these for barricades . Hard to ram past one of these when its full of Sand.
Lots of Black Limos and Police Cars
Tons of Suburban’s with flashy lights too
Since the UN is on the East River it is going to be a mess on the FDR too!
This right here is going to be the quickest way to get around town this week!

Have a good week and God Bless the Pizza Delivery folks and those who live in Tudor City and near the UN.

Pictures of the Week

So I started putting notes together for the Blog post on our trip to Dale Hollow. I haven’t published it yet because I want to have my proofreader Kitty put some eyes on it before I publish. Problem is that Kitty is in Belize and she is busy down there.

Anyway here are some pictures from this week and weeks past. Have a good weekend and stay cool Memphis folks. I hear it is hotter than 2 rats fucking in a wool sock down there.

Many Thanks to you who reached out to me and my family on the loss of Little Michael. He will be missed by many.
It is tough being Maya
George from 38P wanted to come say hello to Maya.
What’s the Fucking Point? This is like a Blind Eunuch (Someone who has been castrated) going to The Purple Church on Mt Moriah.
Yep!
Damn Geranium is going to be out of town again!

Have a good weekend folks and I will work on the other posts.

Della Forte’s Camera Kicks Some Serious Ass!

Happy Monday Folks! And don’t let your eyes fool you. You are actually reading a past weekend post on a Monday. Like I said last week, Geranium is away all week and I got left alone on Sunday afternoon. Also The Murphranks were out of town so instead of having some Sunday Funday I worked on this worthless Dribble.

This past Friday Vivian coordinated a field trip on the Circle Line Boat Tour for the WFUV Disco Boat Cruise. Or as My (former) Work Wife (The Domestic One) said to me; “Oh you are on a booze cruise.” This past Friday we had bonus because not only was it a Friday the 13th but it also was a Harvest Moon. Let me tell you. Seeing a full Moon on the Hudson and East River….it Fucking Rocked.

Now while we were snapping pictures I couldn’t help but notice how sharp and clear the pictures on Della Forte’s Samsung foam. I realized right then that I would ask her to send me some pictures so I promptly put my phone away and decided to drink cold beer instead.

Here are some great pictures from Friday Night.

This is my camera. Notice the crappy blob of a moon?
This is from my iFoam and I was playing around with the camera functions
Della Forte’s Camera of the Moon and the Empire State.
Della’s View of the Brooklyn Bridge
Manhattan Bridge
Manhattan Bridge by Della
Seriously Della’s Foam Kicked Ass!

Have a good week and be nice to each other. Except for Brett Kavanaugh. He is a rapist and should be put in shackles. Debate me on this. I dare you.

Back in the Saddle

Sorry for no posts last week. It was a tough week for us. We had to get the Little Bastid off to School and being off for a couple days put us behind. Not much I can really report from the Dale Hollow trip. That sucker was full of Non Disclosure agreements and “don’t post this on Social Media” comments. But lets be honest. If weren’t there you probably wouldn’t think that shit was that funny anyway.

I will be back at my normal self this week. Oh and welcome to my newer readers. More on that.

First Day of 5th Grade 3.0
I hear that Alabama will rebuild.
Happy 7th Birthday to this fluff ball! Hopefully you can take it easy today.

And if your football team didn’t win this weekend I hope your beer was at least cold.

A Trip To Gerritsen Beach in Brooklyn

Back in February The Professor mentioned possibly field trip to The Tamaqua when it got warm. A few weeks ago when we were enjoying the roof deck in Park Slope Mr. Three First Names reminded us that we should make a trip to The Tamaqua. Since I had no idea what I was in for, I was all in. So we planed the trip this past Sunday.

Folks, I have visited some unbelievable Dive Bars here in New York. Milano’s Bar, Hanks Bar (when it was still open), The Ice House in Red Hook, Franks Lounge in Fort Greene, Farrells, Rudy’s with that Red Pig, and The Trailer Park Bar. All of these places hold a special place in my heart because they offer something that you can’t just buy or install. They are national treasures. Hold of to your hat folks. Here is where you are going to probably swallow your gum….

The Tamaqua could win the Title of the Best Dive Bar in New York.

I know, I know can you believe that I made that ballsy statement on a Tuesday? First off for me to properly describe The Tamaqua is going to be hard/damn near impossible. This place is stuck in a Time Machine. According to the Group it took a serious hit during Hurricane Sandy but yet she still sits there. Seriously as we were sitting there having some afternoon drinks one would not think that you are not in Brooklyn. You would think you are at Harbor Docks in Destin Florida or Tacky Jacks in Orange Beach, AL. For my Memphis folks who are coming up here in November we may have to make a trip there. You won’t believe it either!

The Doors are wide open because they don’t have AC. Remind anyone of Harpo’s?
Aww that is cute. But why is it listing to the right?
Lots of place to sit but they don’t have a kitchen or menu. The serve chips so maybe Maya will come next time. Nope
The put a clothes pin on your tab so it doesn’t blow away!
The Have a Pool Table. Shuffleboard, Dart and even some Poker Machines. God Bless this place
It is even ADA compliant and offers Wheel Chair Parking
Life is good at the Tamaqua

And no Maria, I am not losing my mind and no I don’t need a tetnus shot. Your Fancy NY @ss might not come here but it is good for a laugh. Thanks to Bobcat, Professor, Lady Barrister, Mr. 3 First Names for a fun afternoon.

Well, We Didn’t Kill Anyone This Week….Yet!

That is the normal exchange with my favorite Concierge, Trevor, here in the building. We do this every Friday morning when I take the dog out. It is kind of a tradition. So without further adeau….here are the pictures of the week.

Billy’s Sports Bar and Lounge next to Yankee Stadium – Great Coat/Bag Check
Back in Yankee Stadium but this time it was hotter than 2 rats fucking in a wool sock
I used to make fun of people for wearing funny shoes. I really should think about revisiting it.
Heard all my Memphis Folks talk about the Cousin’s Lobster Truck and didn’t know that it was a chain/food truck.
S(Squared) and RAB – I have some questions about your religion.
Shout out to Celi’s Deli in San Pedro. I saw these Chicken Tostadas and said “Si”
So the White Claw is a thing now eh?
So apparently this joint is now a crime scene. I hope you died a long death Jeffrey.

Have a good weekend Folks. Next week we take our show on the road.

Smoked Meats in Glenside PA

After returning from the Redneck Rivera we have had a full weekend schedule pending. The first weekend since our return had us heading over to Philly for a Memphis Style BBQ. Geranium being the world jet setter was in Seattle for work so she decided to fly the red eye straight into Philly and I would take Amtrak over to Philly. Since I already booked our travel I invited LJZ since her husband is enjoying summer school.

Due to some prior commitments the majority of the BBQ Team would not be able to attend so Pepe called in the “B Team” meaning SK and I would be the substitute pit masters. Other than a pork roll incident we managed to put out some good food for the group.

Since we got there so early into Philly I left LJZ to go see her friends and I headed on the regional train to Pepe’s house.
We really should have brought this up to the cooking pad but it got things going for us Saturday Morning.
Now this is a smoker!
We (well not so much me or SK) burned some of this.
SK’s lovely wife made sure that the guests were good and ‘hydrated’ and kept cool with frozen drinks.
Is this a Kids Drink or a Uncle Robo Drink?
Every time I looked up there was another protein to smoke or cook. Thanks to Pepe’s buddy for helping out.
Oh the Shame (She obviously is not from the south) I told LJZ’s friend that I was going to put this picture on my worthless dribble of a blog. I even put it as the featured picture too!
We had a good time and I didn’t do a repeat of 2 years ago in Glenside when someone slipped me a Mickey.

All in all the B Team did a good job and it was a hit. Appreciate Pepe and D3 for letting us stay the night and we will be back.