Central Park

Interesting Facts about this Rock

I was reading Time Out on “The Twitter” this weekend and they had a post that I have to share with my 9 readers. If you want to see the original post you can click Here. Don’t worry I won’t take offense if you find their article better than mine. Doesn’t matter…..

Ok, so according to one of the latest US Census and Baruch College there are 8.5 Million people living in New York. If you give each New Yorker 5 square feet of space in their own crowd they would cover 42.5 Million square feet. That is 1.52 Square Miles which is a few blocks larger than Central Park.

Of the 8.5M people 52% are male and 48% are female which destroys the old adage that I always thought that there were more females in the Big Apple.  If you broke it down by race it goes like this;

  • White – 32%
  • Hispanic – 29%
  • Black – 22%
  • Asian – 14%
  • 2 or more races – 2%
  • Other  (what does this mean exactly) – .8%
  • American Indian (that is feather not dot) – .2%

If you broke it down by age and this really is puzzling to me;

  • Under 10 – 12%
  • 10 to 19 – 11%
  • 20 to 29 – 16.5% (effing Millennials)
  • 30 to 39 – 15.8%
  • 40 to 49 – 13% (hey that is me!)
  • 50 to 59 – 12.7% (hey that is Mrs. Trumpet)
  • 60 to 69 – 9.8%
  • 70 to 79 – 5.3% (guess they now live in Florida)
  • over 80 – 3.4% (tons of older people live up here as I have found)

When you walk down the street you can hear all kinds of languages. And I am not talking about a southern accent either.

  • English Language – 50.6% (I guess Irish accents count as this)
  • Spanish Language – 24.6%
  • Other Languages – 19.8%
  • Chinese Language – 5% I would think this is more

People in NYC

I think that the pictures are what gives you the best idea of all that high math.

And we aren’t even talking about the rodent problem we have here either! Hope that you aren’t claustrophobic on your next visit to NYC. 



Weekends are for rest right?

I am glad that the weekend is over. I am about worn out and it is only Monday! Now I promised my boss that I would not have “Whisky Voice” this morning so keep those “Oh CBT is hungover” because that isn’t the case. After our snow day on Thursday I had a bunch of stuff to get completed on Friday and play catch up. I get done with my day and head over to the Cigar joint for a quick cigar before I have to get ready to go out that night.

Friday night we headed down to Joe’s Pub to catch Losers Lounge tribute to Philly Soul. Not sure what that is? Think Teddy Pendergrass, The Spinners, The Delfonics and songs like “Love Train”, “Disco Inferno” and who could forget “You got what I need.” The show was great as usual and we headed to Blue Ribbon for a 1AM dinner reservation. Blue Ribbon was a mainstay when we would come up to visit Maria in New York. The fried chicken and oysters did not disappoint.

Saturday we slept in a little considering we got home at 3AM. I get my normal errands done and Mrs. Trumpet had to get some studying done. UWS Girl had mentioned about attending the Central Park Ice Festival Silent Disco and considering it was cold but not too cold I was game. Mrs. Trumpet stayed behind so I headed crosstown to W72nd street. Met up with her at an Irish Dive Bar by the name of Malachy’s. Trust me when I say that this place did not disappoint. The bartender was in her late 60’s and resembled Flo from the old sitcom “Alice.”  Headed over to the park and I learned something very valuable about free events in New York. Everyone and their brother will show up if you don’t have to pay for it. Met up with some friends to watch the Silent Disco for a while and ended up heading back to the house.

Sunday we had a friend in town from the old ACMB days and frequent offender of Belize Trips. Met up with her and her husband and tried ABC Kitchen for brunch. Let me tell you, the 3 week reservation that I had to get was well worth it. Hung out with LAB and her husband and we laughed and caught up. Since it was sleeting earlier in the day Mrs. Trumpet and I decided to behave on Sunday and she took a nap while I went to have a cigar with the boys. Made some spaghetti gravy/sauce and watched the Grammy’s.

img_0280Opening The Losers Lounge with a BADB (Big Ass Disco Ball)

img_0282Kiss and Say Goodbye by Tony Zajkowski

teddyI have to say his Teddy Pendergrass is pretty good.

losers-loungeI should have pressed my parents to let me play the Tambourine in band.

img_0324I think they had a couple bottles of booze there.

img_0326At the Silent Disco. They have 2 DJ’s and people can either switch between the blue DJ or the red DJ. I guess the Blue DJ was jamming

img_0329Thanks again for the Vino and the California Oranges LAB and RB. I bet we will run into you in Belize in October! Love you guys.

Hope you had a good weekend too!

I can’t believe I am about to say this….

I miss humidity. You heard it here first folks, the guy who orders Goldbond by the pallet misses swamp ass humidity. Before you start to put me on your prayer list let me explain myself. In the winter (well we should be in winter, it is after all November 18th) it gets very dry here. So dry that Mrs. Trumpet and I are prone to getting nosebleeds, dry ass skin and our sinuses go into hyper drive. Add to that, you should see what all I am having to do to keep my cigar humidor regulated. It is hell I tell you!

Another thing that I am missing and wish we had is a consistent temperature base. Two weeks ago it was ball shrinking cold, this week I almost hit 70. This weekend break out the puffy coats because it is going to be chilly. No wonder everyone is sick in this town. About twice a month I have to head to the local CVS and go to the pharmacy for pills. The exchange is something like this;

Me – “I need the 96 count of Sudafed please.”
Pharmacist – “I am going to need to see your id sir.”
Me – “Can’t I just show you that I have teeth and they are white?”

I mean we are constantly having sinus infections here in the UES. Poor momma is battling one now and do you know how hard it is to sleep with her and the white dog when both of them are snoring at top speed and volume? I was supposed to have some dental work done last month to put in a permanent tooth but we had to scrap it because my sinuses were all full of ick. Now I got to go find an ear nose and throat doctor. I ain’t time for that!

So, could we have a little humidity there Mother Nature? I don’t need curl your hair humidity just some. Just give me a little would you?

img_2605My poor cigar humidor, I am battling it every day. The only way I can keep the cigars fresh is by smoking them all. It is hell but what is a guy to do.

img_2598Don’t let the white one fool you. She snores like a freight train.

img_2601At least the trees in the park are changing. 2 weeks ago it was all green.

img_2591The decorating on 5th avenue has already begun

img_2606I hope my cousin who is in town auditioning for Go-Go dancing school brought a coat. She may get chilly walking on the UES. We get to have dinner with her mother on Sunday. At least one of my cousins have come up here. Yes I am looking at you Stephanie & Janna.

Have a good weekend and if you are celebrating Friendsgiving and you have a theme let me know. I was telling someone about it up here and they didn’t understand.


Look Up

One of the perks with my job, other than I get to steal all the office supplies I can fit into my pockets, is that I get to visit some really cool locations in Manhattan. Now due to a whole bunch of non-disclosure documents I can’t divulge much. The premise of this blog isn’t what I do in real life (Naked Cowboy singer in Times Square) anyway. What I will say  is that I get to visit some really cool offices that have killer views of the New York skyline, and parts of Brooklyn and New Jersey.
Before I put on the BVD’s and strutted myself around Times Square I had to follow some of my fellow street performers and see how they did their act. One day I was following one the reps who had to visit various offices on the East Side of Manhattan. We are finishing up meeting with her client and I asked if I could take a peek out of the clients 53rd floor window. Naturally the client was happy to oblige *I think he could tell by my accent I wasn’t from NYC* and I got a great view of Central Park looking north. We get into the elevator and I could tell that the rep was wondering why I asked that question to her client. I looked at her and said “we are in trenches and underground 90% of the day, it is nice to see how the ‘other side’ views the city. I don’t think she understood my comment or that her Midwest to Southern translator wasn’t working that day. *I am hoping that she isn’t one of my 5 NYC readers or she may punch me in the throat*
When I am with clients downtown or on the west side I am always taking a peek out their windows because it really can humble you when you think about the sheer size of this island. One of my favorite places to view the NYC Skyline is also one of Mrs. CBT and I’s first NYC date places, The Metropolitan Museum of Art on the Upper East Side. This past Friday to celebrate the weekend we headed over to 5th Avenue and headed upstairs to the rooftop. During the summers months they have drinks so one can hang out and drink overpriced beers but also check out the sweeping views of the city *who da fuck is this guy typing this dribble, sweeping views? He should have his ass kicked for saying that*. Anyway enough words, here are some killer pictures from this past Friday.

IMG_1461Looking South. Notice that big ass tall building in the middle of the picture. That sucker when complete will be the tallest residential building in the Northern Hemisphere. Problem is when there is a low cloud coverage the t0p 1/4th will be above the clouds and can’t see shit. Oh that and I hear it sways too.

IMG_1459Mother, you would like her….Yes that is the house from Psycho and pay no attention to that person taking my picture. I think my fly was down.

IMG_1462New Moon between the buildings

IMG_1464My favorite room in the Met.

So as the late Casey Kasum would say at the end of his broadcasts “Keep your feet on the ground but keep reaching for the stars.”

James, drive me through the park

Back in the fall we met a gentlemen who also was from Memphis and for 20 years now calls New York home. He was a great source of information about the neighborhood and told us about taking day trips to the Hudson Valley. “When you get stir crazy and need to see grass take a trip up there or walk through Central Park.” He said one evening as he was walking his dog. I was thinking to myself, I am good. Who the hell gets stir crazy walking in the concrete jungle? I can always go up to Woodlawn and see the Asian Fireman if I need to see grass, our old condo in Memphis was in the middle of the business district, we got this.

Friday I took the day off because my boss yelled at me for leaving vacation time on the table. I did some admin work and then headed out the door with a couple Perdomo cigars. The weather was a top ‘5 beautiful’ day sunny, temps in the high 70’s and zero chance of rain. I decided to play tourist and check out Strawberry Fields over on the west side of Central Park. If you have been living in a vacuum Strawberry Fields is the memorial to John Lennon, that Beatles fella, who was murdered and is a ‘must see/do’ for tourists. I took the crosstown bus and ventured up to the entrance to the park at W72nd. The memorial was pretty cool and there were many tourists snapping pics and a guitar singer playing Beatles songs.

I then walked down to Tavern on the Green and I can’t recall who told me about the patio but it is a nice spot to watch people and have beverage. I decided that I would walk through the park to get to the East Side and I have to say it…you forget you live in one of the most populated city in the world when you are in the park. The lawns were full of people lying out and it is funny seeing people in bathing suits without any water around. I made my way to the basin and saw the sailboat rental joint and I am going to lay it out on the table for all to read. I got lost. I thought I was going to exit around E77th but ended up exiting almost E86th street. I walked down to the Metropolitan Museum and got harassed by the CD selling guys and found a nice spot to smoke a cigar and watch the tourists go by.

Ran into Mrs. Trumpet later and told her about the park and she accused me of going to see them film the miniseries where they had naked women. (S/O to SN for the 411 but I didn’t see any filming) We talked about going there with our niece when she visits us next month and maybe take the Monkey heads. Needless to say, I am a fan of Central Park. You should go there once.

IMG_4357Kinda of a nice day to see the Memorial

IMG_4359It is touristy as hell but like I said, I was a tourist today

IMG_4374Note to self – Bring a traveler of Vodka for the Tea

IMG_4373I was the only one speaking English in the park today.

IMG_4372It was a great day to be in the park

IMG_4371Entrance into one of the lawns

IMG_4369Kind of cool with the buildings overlooking the sailboat pool

IMG_4368Lots of people on the steps at the Met

IMG_4367It was a good day to smoke a cigar!

Go visit the park on your next trip.

Below the streets is a Steam Room and a Keg Party!

I had mentioned on an earlier blog post that this past Sunday was No Pants Subway rides and as much as I wanted to join the rest of the CB’s (Crazy Bastards) I figured against it. I can say that living up here you see a lot of odd things that normal people would stop, point, take a picture, and probably upload to Snapchat.  New Yorkers, they keep on walking and pass it off as just another weirdo. Case in point, I encountered a long haired European looking fella wearing cargo shorts (Shout out to my boy Jon Roser) a Tank Top, combat boots and to offset the 17 degree weather we were experiencing this morning a full length mink coat.  It was just another day on the 7 train.  

I have encountered two things on the streets of NYC that well, as much as I think that I have assimilated to NYC living, I find very odd. One item is the ominous steam vent pipe on various streets in Manhattan and I still can’t get used to. I get that ConEd still has buildings that they provide heat to and there are a majority of older buildings that have radiator heat but why all the vent relief pipes? Two of them popped up on my walk to the subway in the past month and it begs the question. Why all of a sudden do we have to vent that steam now? I would think that if it is colder then the buildings would need all the heat it can get therefore the demand would great so why do we have to heat the outdoors?

Another thing that I see on the streets of Manhattan would be the large Nitrogen tanks that you see at restaurants in the south to supply beer gas to the taps. These rather large tanks are normally on the corners of the intersections and you see a small hose running into the ground. The question that begs to be answered is “Where is this Keg Party underground?” But what really pisses me off about this is “Why the hell wasn’t I invited?” I mean come on Jo, Gary, and Chris at Baker Street Pub, why didn’t you tell me about this underground keg party? Anyway, if anyone knows why NY Streets have to vent steam and keep something cold or full of CO2 can you help a brother out?

cq5dam.web.1280.1280New Pope?

untitledWe have a keg party at E73rd and 5th Avenue – Bring Beer Nuts!

Have a good day!




You going to the Stinky Place today?

I have had a couple of my friends and readers inquire about my normal pattern of Facebook checking into “The Cigar Inn” over on E73rd Street. My canned response is “I can tell you about it but then I would have to kill you” and they laugh it off until they realize that I am serious….I am kidding folks. Back when we lived in Crime-Free Memphis we had a balcony overlooking Main Street that I would sit out and smoke many a stogie, hell I even had a TV with Comcast service out there. Now before you associate those stinky Swisher Sweets or Black and Mild that is not what I am smoking. My particular tastes is medium to mild cigar with a greater than 50 ring size and prefer Torpedo shaped cigars but even that has changed since moving to NYC. I don’t drink alcohol while smoking and only smoke when I can devote at least 2 hours because this is my relaxation and happy place. Back when we were in Memphis I would normally do this solo as Momma doesn’t like the smoke and this is where I would read, play on the tablet and stalk on social media.

When we moved up to NYC I was limited to locations to enjoy a cigar, you see smoking is prohibited in parks as well as any eating establishment so other than going to see the Asian Fireman in Woodlawn it was either the benches outside of Central park on 5th Ave or cigar bars. In Memphis I never really found a cigar hangout (traditionally a Cigar store) that I could call home. The Cigar Store on Union had some ‘characters’ that would frequent there that I never really felt welcome. I did enjoy the Cigar Store a block away from Beale Street but inevitability there would be “that guy” who wanted to talk to everyone and try to start arguments because he wasn’t held as a child. Then I found The Cigar Inn a block away from our apartment. 

The Cigar Inn has two locations and allows Cigar Smoking inside the establishment. They don’t serve alcohol or food but do offer some non-alcoholic beverages and has a decent espresso. When we moved up here, and since I was unemployed, I would head over there in the afternoon before Momma got home from work. Inside the joint on E73rd Street it has a front and rear Cigar Parlor that is divided by the merchandise cases and Cigar Lockers. Both parlors have 3 flat screen TV’s that will have sports, news or whatever you request shown on them. Just don’t ask to watch an SEC Football game the same hour that the Yankees are on because you will be told no. The rear Cigar Parlor is where some older gentlemen hang out and are quick to chastise you for wearing shorts and not long trousers. Yeah, I learned my lesson and I have since abided by the dress code. The downside to the back room is that it is very smoky back there and the older gentlemen are the type of people who want to win the 1.4 Billion Powerball for a tax break. Yeah, I am out of that tax bracket so I sit my ass up in the front room. 

The beauty and allure of The Cigar Inn is that no one is a stranger and what makes it unique is the different clientele who frequent the joint. You have white collar executives who are more than happy to smoke their cigars in their 4K suits and then you have blue collar workers who smoke double corona cigars with their steel toe boots on, pretty much all are welcome. Traditionally I am in there in the late afternoon or weekends so you normally see the same group of folks and as one can expect, there is some serious ball busting going on in there. What I love about place (Mrs. CBT calls it “The Stinky Place”) is that if you sit there long enough you can find a common bond or framework. I will carry my tablet with me but I find that I hardly look at it as I now watch Hockey on the TV or join in the conversation.  The only downside is that you do smell like an ashtray and you will get some stares in the Hospital owned apartment building while riding the elevator because you reek of smoke. Thankfully the head of Cardiac Surgery for the hospital is also a patron of the clubhouse so I can always blame it on him.

IMG_0284Here is the front of the store on East 73rd Street

348sFront Room – I had to nip this off of the internet as I am sure The Boys wouldn’t be too keen on having their picture taken and posted on this crappy blog.

E73rd-334-Cigar-Inn-TA002Merch Area – to the back is the Walk In Humidor and rear parlor. They have all kinds of gifts here, granted it will have to be aired out for a week but if you need a good “Guy’s Gift” give them a call.

The Best Music in NYC for a $2.75 Cover Charge

You hear it just about every time you swing past the turnstile heading into the bowels of NYC. No it isn’t the sound of rats being run over by the Express train, it is music. Sometimes it is a simple person playing a flute, or violin, or some western musical instrument, hell I have seen a kazoo player down there. When I was with one of the tourist bus sales reps we made a trip to the upper West Side (Seinfeld territory) which is one area that I am not that familiar with. We were heading down the 8th street and W45th street station and I stopped and said that I heard some Reverend Al Green. He couldn’t believe I knew who it was then he later gave me mad props when I told him I knew about Yo Gotti. His comment about the band playing ‘Let’s stay together’ was one that I will never forget; “The Best music you will ever hear for a $2.75 cover charge.”
On my daily commute to work, I have to transfer at Grand Central Station and there is young lady who plays the violin. I am normally in a hurry but she always is smiling and happy and that puts me back in perspective and in a happy mood. I throw in a buck every couple of days into her case and she always says thank you to me.
Earlier this fall, I went out to Queens for a job interview. As I was returning back to the UES, a group of Mexican Mariachi players popped onto my subway car and put out a jam. Did I recognize the song…no, did I appreciate the gesture and gave them a couple of bucks….sure did. I know that this breaks my strict “don’t give people money” but in my opinion, they are providing a service.  Who knows the next time you see them they could be headlining at a Music Festival or picked up by Flowered Man Bag Productions.

Here is my violin player as I head to the 7 Train. If I try to stop and take a picture of her head on, I will get run over by the throngs of people behind me.


Not Sure what this damned thing is but it sounds kinda cool.


You boys know “Bamboleo” by the Gypsy Kings?


Not sure of the name but they WERE LOUD!


Dude is a Musical Legend!

Mexican band

These guys were pretty good and also VERY LOUD!


Who doesn’t love a drum line?

Have a good weekend and RMT, there will be a post on Monday.

The Week in Pictures

It was a good week last week. Here are some of the pictures from last week.

Have a good week and we will see you next week.

Behind the Macy’s Thanksgiving Day Parade from Someone on the Street

“Did you see the cast of X perform their act? How did Daughtry sound? “Did Pat Benatar really lip-sync her song? How hot was Eva Longoria?” Yeah, these were the questions that I received during the Parade and the answer to all of them was “Never saw it, that was the TV broadcast.” You know when you go to a live Nationally televised game and it takes longer because of the airing network and the commercials? That is what you get with the Macy’s Thanksgiving Day Parade. I am not dogging the experience we saw because it was killer! Growing up watching it over the years, oh yeah, it was a bucket list item.

First of all, many thanks to the Asian Fireman and his family for inviting us as the NYFD Pipes and Drums were marching in the parade for the first time since it is the 150 anniversary celebration of the NYFD. We scored grandstand tickets so rather than sleeping on the street the night before like a bunch of people did, we strolled up at 7AM and hung out till the parade started. The weather was perfect and you couldn’t have asked for a better day. Here are the top 10 things that I learned from attending the Macy’s Thanksgiving Day Parade.

  1. The Parade starts at 9AM from W77th and Central Park West and ends at 7th and 34th Street. The Parade route is roughly 3 miles long and takes 2 hours from start to finish.
  2. We were at 7th and Central Park South (halfway on the crosstown route) and the parade started for us at 9:30 and ended at 11:30. The TV show starts I think at 9AM so all those Broadway Musicals you saw? Those were the filler acts before the floats arrive.
  3. The clowns, roller blade people, float holders, and various parade people – Nicest people in the world, if I heard “Happy Thanksgiving” once, I heard it a million times. Great interaction that you don’t see on TV.
  4. When the clowns come by the barricade they sprinkle confetti on the kids and parents who aren’t paying attention.
  5. Those Floats and Balloons how high are they? Probably the rope from the ground to the bottom of the float was 3 to 4 stories. I imagine they use boom cameras for the visual effects.
  6. The float handlers wear the same colored jumpsuits and they group 3 people around a rope so nobody gets tired. Each float has a “Marshall” that tells them to hurry up or stay in the middle of the street.
  7. Speaking of staying in the middle of the street, did you know that they have to remove all the traffic lights that hang over the street? Any flagpoles that jut out over the street have to come down too. Our office is on 7th @ 37th street and I wondered why they were yanking the flagpoles on Tuesday.
  8. Counter Terrorism Officers and NYPD – Yes they were very present and did I feel scared for my life……I am a fucking New Yorker, I ain’t staying home and letting those jokers win. If Police Commissioner Bratton (who I love by the way) says that it will be safe so “get your coat on Momma, we are going to 59th street!”
  9. The musical acts (except for Cirque du Solei) basically sit on the float and wave to people. The Cirque folks do their act the whole route and even while the float is jumping.
  10. You start the parade with “Happy Thanksgiving” and to the end it changes to “Merry Christmas” and no LVD, Mariah Carey isn’t the end of the parade, it is and always will be SANTA.


Here is the Route, we were on Central Park South (59th Street) near 7th Street siting with our back to the park.

IMG_9648Again, thanks to the Asian Fireman for the Tickets! They were much appreciated.

IMG_9650You do have to get there early (2 hours prior) but at least we didn’t sleep on the street like the people across from us on Central Park South did

IMG_9647We assume that they yank the traffic lights the night prior or there will be all kinds of wrecks around Central Park. Oh Maria, aren’t you happy that the Citi Bike Stand is “Out of Service” when I become mayor….

IMG_9654Street Light look a little Cadi-Wampus? They swiveled the light towards the park so they didn’t have to remove it.

IMG_9655We were right across from the Essex House and I kept wondering what that was…It was a flagpole that got removed.

IMG_9656C-Man got cranky but I don’t blame him, he got woken up at 5AM, gets to see Uncle CBT and Aunt CBT then has to sit in the cold for 2 hours doing nothing waiting on the parade. He took a little nap on Grandma and was fine once the parade started.

IMG_9659Kudos the to the Crowd for the clapping & cheering and thanking the NYPD for their service today.

IMG_9687Here are the Ronald McDonald Float Handlers, all dressed alike so it blends in with the float.

IMG_9745“Hey Ian! Look to your left, that is the World Famous Carbunkle Trumpet and his Smoking Hot Wife!” mutters one of the members of the Pipes and Drums.

IMG_9712It was kind of funny watching the Floats hang a right onto Broadway

IMG_9774Poor Nan didn’t realize she was getting Confetti’d each time the Clowns came

IMG_9678Calling All Cars…Be on the lookout for Hello Kitty riding in an airplane. She was last seen heading south on Broadway from Central Park South.

Again, thanks to the J&E L for letting us horn in on the fun. We had a blast and this is one for the wall. Happy Holidays!