Don’t hate the player

Drinks on the Water – Sunday Funday Pictures

Two Sundays back the Murphranks, the Work Wife, EA, Mrs. Trumpet and I decided to take advantage of a nice day and went down to Pier A in Battery Park. The weather was classic and here are some pics from our trip.

IMG_1434Found this Gem at Stone and Broad down in the Financial District.

IMG_1437Shout out to my favorite Coors Light Drinker!

IMG_1439Here is when Mr. 3 First Names started spewing hate – I reminded him that Staten Island had it’s own Ferry.

IMG_1436The Statue of Liberty

IMG_1440The Sunset was spectacular that Sunday

IMG_1441It doesn’t Suck down here

IMG_1442The Statue at Sunset

IMG_1443Ellis Island at sunset

How was your Sunday Funday?

 

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Katie Mac is going to kill me – The Campbell Apartment Bar & Lounge

Yeah, she is over in Europe right now according to her Snaps but when she reads this she may fly direct back to JFK just to whip my arse. You see when I moved up here Katie Mac was the first to tell me about The Campbell Apartment in Grand Central Station and how cool it was. I visited it once to meet up with a former client of mine from Memphis (think “Thank You Cattlemens”) but she had to bag at the last minute. It took me a while to find the joint. I mean I have lived up here now 2 years and I finally can make my way around Grand Central without difficulty but it is still huge.

So when RJ and JL (not Social Media JL, Ponzi Scheme JL) were in town this past weekend we made a trip with the Asian Fireman to The Campbell Apartment for drinks. I was in work clothes but I recalled that when they were with old management it was slacks and dress shirts. Thankfully the new ownership relaxed the rules just a tad.

Drinks at the Campbell are old school New York; manhattans, classic martinis and upscale bourbons and scotches. Our group chose Red Wine, Manhattans, a Martini and someone had to keep it real and ordered a Bud Light. The service at The Campbell is impeccable and we had a good time and left after having 2 rounds. Thank God we left when we did, to drink in Midtown Manhattan you pay to play.

Katie Mac – Don’t worry when you come up I promise to take you there.

the-entranceEnter off of the Vanderbilt Pass which is on the West side of Grand Central. To find it inside the terminal is tricky.

plaque-for-the-campbellYou can also look for the sign too.

IMG_1462 (1)Picture from Ponzi Scheme JL – Of the Main Bar and the huge ass ceilings

IMG_1446The Asian Fireman and I win the award for the most expensive drinks in the joint

IMG_1464Even the coasters are fancy

IMG_1465Gold raised lettering too! Patrick Bateman from American Psycho would drink here

Don’t bust my chops, some of you guys drink on Beale Street or the Peabody Hotel.

 

Get Up Boys, We Are Going To Dine At An Epicurean Institution!

So I returned from The Redneck Riviera the other night. The trip was fun and it was great spending time with family and seeing some friends while in LA (Lower Alabama). One morning I awoke and decided that it was time to broaden the gastric horizon of my two nephews. I slapped them on the leg as they lay on the couch and told them to get dressed as we were going to have breakfast. One of the nephews wasn’t sure what the hell I was talking about but they both agreed since I told them that they didn’t have a choice.

Now you have heard my past foodie exploits here in New York; Dinner at Per Se (twice), Blue Hill at Stone Barns, Peter Lugar (twice), and a number of other great eating establishments. Now sadly New York does not have the Gastric destination that you can find everywhere south of the Mason Dixson line (or I haven’t found it yet) that is pretty much a staple in the Gulf Coast. The destination that I speak of you ask…..Mudda Effin Waffle House!

One cannot become a food snob without a deep admiration for the Waffle House. I mean just look at the cult classic move “Tin Cup”;

Molly: I’ve got money from the bet. Let’s go somewhere fancy and celebrate.
Roy: There’s nothing to celebrate. Besides, these are my people. I’m a Waffle House guy. Got to stay in touch with that.

Who can’t argue with that logic? I mean they serve Waffles, Eggs, and have a secret code for ordering hash browns. So I take the boys for Waffles and naturally I take control and order some Pecan Waffles for the table as an appetizer. They look at me like I have 3 heads. I order my breakfast of 2 eggs medium, side of bacon, toast, hash browns scattered, smothered and DOUBLE covered for my entrée. Shout out to the Neighbor on telling me about double covered (extra cheese) on my hashbrowns.  Naturally I can’t leave the table without a proper dessert so I order a big ole glass of Ice Cold Whole Milk.

*Pro Tip – It helps having 2 teenagers with you so you don’t look like the gluttonous pig that you really are because they only ordered simple breakfasts.

maxresdefaultYou have to appreciate that Bourdain ate at a Waffle House

IMG_1289I mean who doesn’t love a menu that also doubles as your placemat

IMG_1290I have no shame, I ate the entire effin meal!

 Have a good one and if you are near a Waffle House swing by and pour some syrup out for those who can’t eat there.

Pictures on a Thursday?

Yeah I get that I haven’t done much this week in terms of blogging. I have been kinda busy and trying to sew up some loose ends. We leave out for the Redneck Riviera very soon. For those readers who live in Memphis you know where I am talking about don’t you? The mention of this location to my fellow New Yorkers comes with many puzzled looks and or questions.

  • Q – Why don’t you just go down to Miami or Orlando?
  • Q – Aren’t you afraid of getting eaten by a shark?
  • Q – Why do you call it the Redneck Riviera? Why don’t you just call it the pan handle?

For my Northeast readers let me let you in on some information regarding our beach destination. According to Mr. Google the Redneck Riviera is roughly 5 counties along the coast in the Panhandle area. I traditionally have always considered the Redneck Riviera starting at Pascagoula, MS and ending in Panama City. What makes it be called the Redneck Riviera you ask?  Think beer bongs, spring break destination, naturally Jimmy Buffett and trashy girls wearing confederate flag or Budweiser logo’ bikini tops. Pretty sure I am going to catch some shit from my 30-A reader Chase the Chihuahua lover for that comment. For those of you wondering why I am trashing it I want to keep some of the best beaches to myself.  Anyway we will be in Orange Beach near the Florida/Alabama state line. Or for those of you who are familiar with it. The World Famous FloraBama Bar. Talk about Dive Bar heaven! I promise to have some good stories when I get back.

IMG_1233Mudda Effin Duane Reade ran out of my favorite Hillbilly Ale on July 4th.

IMG_1242Snapped this the other day after a bad afternoon rain storm

IMG_1235Cost a small fortune to get this chub of Bologna.

IMG_1248Hey EGP he is young, wet behind the ears and no signs of being married

IMG_1234This warmed my heart when I saw it last week. Godspeed Keenan you were one of the good ones!

See you guys when we get back!

Weber, My Shit be Broke!

Sorry for the vulgarity this early in the morning, I had to quote former All American “Big” Freddie Childress.

Welp it was bound to happen. 47 year old feet supporting a svelte 175 pound frame that is averaging about 5 miles a day walking in Manhattan and something has to give. I started having some ‘heel’ pain about a month ago and was hoping that it was just plantar fasciitis and not something worse like a stress fracture. I limp around the UES for a couple days until the pain was so great that I had to find a podiatrists who specialized in sports medicine. That is the great thing about New York, there are more podiatrists in Manhattan than there are Irish bars and I now understand why.

When we moved from Memphis to Gotham our mileage went from 0 to about 4 miles a day and there was little to no ‘ease in’ period. If you aren’t wearing shoes that are designed for walking then you are asking for trouble. When BD & SD were in town B was telling me how he wore a pair of leather soled shoes to make sales calls on a trip up here. The next morning he awoke with shin splints. Anyway after almost 2 years of living up here my right foot finally gave out and the tire went flat.

I meet with Doc B and he is one of the podiatrists who is on staff for the NY Knicks. Apparently basketball players have this ailment all the time. Doc looks at me and tells me that rest (yeah like that can happen) is the best treatment but I will have to undergo Physical Therapy. Pretty much that is Ultrasound, deep tissue massage, exercises and a tape job. He fits me for some orthotics and sends me on my way. Now for you Memphians who are wondering what the big deal is having plantar fasciitis is for a guy who walks instead of driving to make sales calls. Try driving your car with 4 fucking flat tires. This shit hurts!

ds00508_im00939_r7_fasciitisthu_jpg

Here is what happens when you suffer with this ailment. AKA This shit hurts each and every step.

 

IMG_1018Waiting for my time in the chair!

IMG_1020Don’t worry this won’t hurt me one bit

IMG_1019The Bad Wheel, it would cost too much to cut it off according to the doc

IMG_1021It only cost me a small fortune for these things and they make my feet feel worse till they get broke it.

IMG_1023Tape Job while I am walking around the city. It helps but still this stuff hurts

Have a good weekend. I still have a bunch of posts that I need to work on over the weekend. I will do better.

Robo for the Valentine’s Day Win

Sorry to piss upset off my readers from Maine and Nova Scotia who were shoveling snow. Not to mention our friends were down in Belize looking for ‘a chicken’ and keeping the Belikin Beer supply in check. Last night  CBT not only had his smoking hot wife, Mrs. CBT, on his arm but the World Famous Travel Queen made a jaunt through the Holland Tunnel for a Happy Hour drinks. Yep, I win!

Hope that everyone’s Val-in-Times was a good one and you didn’t wake up in a chocolate hangover. It was great to see 3 Day Traveler and catch up. If you ears were burning then you were being spoken about you affectionately. Well except for you Pedro, but I did preface one story by “With All Due Respect.”  (I am kidding) Hopefully we can see Travel Queen this late summer in some far away distant location. Or she comes up here and crashes on our couch. Either way is good for us.

img_0338Go ahead Reaper and show me more pics of how beautiful living Pura Vida is. I win today wearing a heavy coat!

Have a good Hump Day!

Hey Kid…..

Bonus post today considering that it is Super Bowl Sunday. Ahh yes the only day of year where eating your face off on wings, pizza, and cheese dip is perfectly acceptable while downing a gallon of beer. Since I really don’t have a NFL team that I call my own. I mean I do pull for the Jets over the Giants because they are the Cubs of the NFL. But what I do care for on Super Bowl Sunday is the score was because I got money on a couple of football boards.

Football boards are as American as Apple Pie and Facebook debates on if the president is doing a great job or not. When I was in Memphis pretty much every bar that I would frequent would have one for the ‘big game’ and pay in was typically a buck to 20 dollars depending on the establishment. I remember back in the day when Rocky would have the 100.00 board and you thought of that as big money. They would have payouts at the end of each quarter but still the chance to win 2K was always fun.

Moving up here betting is on steroids. Not only do they have 5 dollar boards they also have hundred dollar, thousand dollar, two thousand dollar and yep even a ten thousand dollar board. There is a rumor that one of the big investment banking firms downtown has a million dollar board but I haven’t confirmed this. The cigar joint that I frequent has a couple of them and rather than pay out after each quarter they pay out at the end. Talk about a nice day at the track, who wouldn’t want to win 10K on a stupid football game? (psst – don’t tell Mrs. Trumpet but I am in on that board and even splitting another square with a buddy of mine)

Even my boss gets in on the action. Now gambling is frowned upon at the tour bus company but she was getting in on some action for her son’s baseball team for a fund raiser called 50-50. She wasn’t too sure where to pick her square so I told her that she should either go 4 across and 3 down for her birthday (same as mine I might add) or go X across and 10 down because she is hitting a big birthday this year. Both squares were already taken so I suggested she put her anniversary date.

So for me, I really don’t give 2 shits on who wins the game, well yes I do. I want the Falcons to win just because everybody up here hates the Patriots. But all I want is for the final score to be with the last numbers to be Falcons 3 and the Patriots 9. That way we will be getting paid at Baker Street. Also I hope that Jo’s numbers come in too because she went BIG BALLS and is playing the 2K buy in at the pub across the street from Baker Street.  Me I get a text from AS who works at SP and he asked me if I wanted in on a 1K board. Thankfully the squares were sold out before I could talk Justin in half with me. ?

0409501001484255879_filepickerDid you know that there is more money wagered on the Coin toss than the whole game?

img_0262-1 5K payout if we win! Hell to the yes!

Have a good day and don’t be a P word and call in sick tomorrow. Nobody likes a quitter!

Losers Lounge – Sir Elton John 2.0

If you are wondering what I am talking about feel free to read the proper back story HERE and don’t worry we can wait on you….. This past Friday Mrs. Trumpet and I headed down to Joe’s Pub to listen to The Joe McGinty 7 perform Loser’s Lounge tribute to Sir Elton John. We did the hard math that night and determined that it was 21 years when we went to the First Losers Lounge show. This year’s show was equally as great. Sadly we didn’t have someone eviscerate “Rocket Man” like the first show but all of them were equally as good.

We attended with Maria and BoBo who was fresh off of his hospital tour and Maria upped the stakes and got us front row seats. 23 songs on the set list, starting with “Tiny Dancer” and finishing with naturally “Step into Christmas” it was a good time Friday night. When I say that you are missing a great time, I am serious. We even got one of my 6 readers out of “Crime Free Upper West Side” to attend and we think she liked it. Not sure who the next tribute will be but we will keep you posted.

img_0012Tiny Dancer

img_0015“I guess that’s why they call it the blues”

img_0016Joe McGinty on the Piano

img_0017Blythe Gruda absolutely blowing out “Rocket Man”

img_0020Why yes that is Anna Copa Cabanna singing “Honky Cat”

img_0021Serena Kuo singing “Philadelphia Freedom”

img_0022Murderers Row

img_0029“The Thirst” by the one and only Julian Maile

img_0031“Whatever Gets You Through the Night” Verena Weisendanger

img_0034No that isn’t Michael Donahue from The Commercial Appeal or Phil Spector. That is Mike Fornatale belting out “Take me to the Pilot”

img_0035David Nagler leading us along with “Bennie and the Jets”

img_0036Nope that isn’t Santa, it is Joe McGinty saying Merry Christmas!

What we do Monday – Friday

I get asked about once a week from people wanting to know if our lifestyle is similar to a “Sex in the City” or “American Psycho” in that we are work crazy hours and then party all night Monday through Friday like it is our job. Sorry to disappoint some of you but nope, it has been quite a long time since we partied till the wee hours in the morning and then made it into work still inebriated….well there was the day after the Cubs winning the World Series Thursday. But I digress, so here in 7 paragraphs or less is what we do in a normal work week.

Monday thru Friday is pretty much get out of bed by 6AM, shower, dogs walked, get out and sell those double decker bus tickets. For Mrs. Trumpet, it is get up at 7 and then she has that shitty commute to the office….all 2 minutes of it. She normally is home by 5sih so we both keep normal hours. On Monday mornings I head into the mid 40’s to one of the satellite offices to take a conference call, get my week organized, and to steal some office supplies. Monday’s are a day that a lot of my coworkers do admin work at home all day and get ready for the week. Eff that if I stayed at home I would still be in my PJ’s so I get my big ass out and get some ish done.

On my way to my territory on Mondays I always swing by St. Patrick’s cathedral on 5th Ave. Even though this isn’t my parish church I consider it close enough. If you have never visited St. Patrick’s Cathedral along the walls in the main sanctuary are individual Saint’s alters or grottos. I make it a point to light a candle at my favorite big 3 alters; St. John Baptist de la Salle, St. Anthony of Padua, and St. Jude the Apostle. I would not categorize myself as an overly religious person but I am a firm believer of Karma and keeping a positive outlook or spirit. I will and always will be respectful of different religions. I believe that you become a better person by opening up yourself to someone while they explain their beliefs to you. Yep, I am getting pretty deep here. Ok, let me pull back some.

During the week, we pretty much come home each night after work, have dinner and chill at our apartment. Tuesday’s momma has class so I get the dog sitter to swing by to walk the monkey heads  (best 25 bucks we spend a week) so I can head over to the Cigar Inn for some early evening ball busting. Other than that, we are homebodies, cook our food delivery meals (Blue Apron, Marley Spoon, or Hello Fresh) and we may go out one night for happy hour.

*This past week was somewhat of an exception. Wednesday night we went to a fundraiser gathering for our work’s designated charity. Big deal you are probably saying, right? Well our fundraiser was a happy hour at a Karaoke Bar in Koreatown!  Sorry  Professor Paul, you can take the guy out of Memphis but you can’t take the Karaoke out of the New Yorker! It does say a lot when you can laugh at someone other than yourself when they try to sing “Puff the Magic Dragon” personally I know that I slayed “Suspicious Minds”.

*Thursday was a simple lunch with clients. We, my international counterpart and I, invited another international rep to join us with our two eye-talian customers. Lunch was great, we handled the objectives, and we got to hang with the owner of AS Monaco FC. *Full Disclosure* The international counterpart (who also is southern, THANK GOD) and I didn’t have a clue who the owner was so we got a pass. But let me tell you, if it were Danny Ford, Steve Spurrier, or Lou Holtz, we would have been all over that.

Fridays are normally reserved for follow up calls, prospecting and finish up the admin work.  Let me tell you, there is nothing worse than having to work on the weekend. *Yes I am looking at you SS, ML, & LZ* Momma and I have a strict rule that we have always adhered to since we moved up here. That rule is simple; If you have to work on the weekend it is fine and acceptable but if yo ass has to work on Sunday-Funday well it better be Effing Huge and Tax Bracket Moving Worthy!!!!

I am sorry but Sundays are for friends and family, I learned that from my visits to Belize many times. I think back to the best times I ever had on San Pedro and it was always with my family and my Belizean sister, Florita, and her family on a Sunday.

st-anthonySt. Anthony’s Alter at St. Patrick’s

Saint Patrick's Cathedral In New York CitySt John Baptist de la Salle’s Alter

st-judeSt Jude’s alter at St. Patrick

1915126_97882114927_1293089_nMy Belizean Sister Florita who now ironically lives in Denver – She looks great as she always does. Me – Who is that fat boated gringo?

st-patricksEntrance at St. Patrick’s Cathedral

Anyway, that is what we do in a week. This upcoming week is going to be a short one so we will be busy from the start. The next weekend, hell I get to put on a monkey suit and go hang out at the Waldorf Astoria.

*These were exceptions for the week.

 

Does yelling “Roll Tide” really mean “I sleep with my cousin?”

Cheap shot but hey, show me a Bama fan who isn’t more obnoxious than a Tennessee fan and I will let you ride my unicorn! Thanks to DD and Martha for putting me up  at the casa de Dewey a couple weeks back. Yes the guest room I slept in was bigger than my apartment, my next door neighbors and 2 more down the hall. It was great to see you and a whole bunch of others.

img_2430Goats, yes those are Goats and that is the residence of the Dean of The Agriculture Department. “DD the only goats I see in NYC are on a spit and roasting by a fire!”

img_2421Great to see my old boss Dean Weber. Oh and DW, you got this! You have put up with more shit than this to knock you down! I will see you in Dallas next year for the A&M game!

img_2427If this was open when I was in college I would have weighed 300 pounds. Granted the 10PM Casa Taco Cheese Dip runs didn’t help my waist line but damnit man!

img_2413Great to see my other boss Dave England and Zim-Bob!

img_2417It still gives give me chills to see this, not to mention to run through it!

img_2414Great to see my friend Pig!

fullsizerender-2Sorry, cheap shot to the Ole Miss fans but hey, I got to take every win where I can!

Great to see everyone and thanks for the hospitality.