Don’t hate the player

What’s in the Box?

If you have not seen the movie “Seven” I won’t spoil the fun. One of the many things that I have been trying to do is support the arts. When we moved up here we joined The Met for a year. Since then we kind of became homebodies but I have always been trying to do something.

The YMCA up on 92nd street in the UES had been doing a long lecture series that I have been keeping my eye on. Some were sold out before I could even buy tickets but when I noticed that Gwyneth Paltrow would be interviewing Evan Funke I circled the date on the calendar. Ok Truth – I have always had a little thing for her. I mean if you aren’t a fan of The Royal Tenenbaums then we can’t be friends.

Anyway if you are not a foodie you won’t recognize that Evan Funke is well known chef having worked at Spago and is a Pasta Making God in the restaurant world. The talk was great and many thanks to the Russian for being my date since Geranium was out of town.

It really was a good show.
Getting settled in our Seats
Crib Notes
Snapped this when the Picture Police had her back turned
They do a Guest Q&A and someone asked what would Evan cook for the President. He said that The Obama’s have eaten at his joint a bunch.

Robert De Niro is on the 7th of October. Hey UWS you want to be my +1? Geranium is going to be out of town again.

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Pictures of the Week

So I started putting notes together for the Blog post on our trip to Dale Hollow. I haven’t published it yet because I want to have my proofreader Kitty put some eyes on it before I publish. Problem is that Kitty is in Belize and she is busy down there.

Anyway here are some pictures from this week and weeks past. Have a good weekend and stay cool Memphis folks. I hear it is hotter than 2 rats fucking in a wool sock down there.

Many Thanks to you who reached out to me and my family on the loss of Little Michael. He will be missed by many.
It is tough being Maya
George from 38P wanted to come say hello to Maya.
What’s the Fucking Point? This is like a Blind Eunuch (Someone who has been castrated) going to The Purple Church on Mt Moriah.
Yep!
Damn Geranium is going to be out of town again!

Have a good weekend folks and I will work on the other posts.

Della Forte’s Camera Kicks Some Serious Ass!

Happy Monday Folks! And don’t let your eyes fool you. You are actually reading a past weekend post on a Monday. Like I said last week, Geranium is away all week and I got left alone on Sunday afternoon. Also The Murphranks were out of town so instead of having some Sunday Funday I worked on this worthless Dribble.

This past Friday Vivian coordinated a field trip on the Circle Line Boat Tour for the WFUV Disco Boat Cruise. Or as My (former) Work Wife (The Domestic One) said to me; “Oh you are on a booze cruise.” This past Friday we had bonus because not only was it a Friday the 13th but it also was a Harvest Moon. Let me tell you. Seeing a full Moon on the Hudson and East River….it Fucking Rocked.

Now while we were snapping pictures I couldn’t help but notice how sharp and clear the pictures on Della Forte’s Samsung foam. I realized right then that I would ask her to send me some pictures so I promptly put my phone away and decided to drink cold beer instead.

Here are some great pictures from Friday Night.

This is my camera. Notice the crappy blob of a moon?
This is from my iFoam and I was playing around with the camera functions
Della Forte’s Camera of the Moon and the Empire State.
Della’s View of the Brooklyn Bridge
Manhattan Bridge
Manhattan Bridge by Della
Seriously Della’s Foam Kicked Ass!

Have a good week and be nice to each other. Except for Brett Kavanaugh. He is a rapist and should be put in shackles. Debate me on this. I dare you.

The Kramer/Newman Can/Bottle Deposit Money Making Scam

We have all seen that episode. The one where Kramer and Newman devise a plan to make it rich by returning all the cans and bottles to Michigan. They are doing this because Michigan has a higher deposit refund than New York. Logistically it can’t work unless they ‘borrow’ a mail truck. You folks in the south, I don’t even know if they do this anymore. Do they?

So while we were at Dale Hollow Lake in between our juice cleanses I was having a discussion with Ralph, the owner of the Mobile home community. In addition to great conversation about Men’s colognes from the late 80’s I inquired about the recycling effort here at Star Point on Dale Hollow Lake. You see at Dale Hollow Lake I didn’t see any recycle bins or paper bins. Do you recall my post when I got back from Switzerland about recycling? Anyway before you start labeling me the Liberal Granola Hipster, I do have a point.

Ralph informed me that they have kids at the Marina who will sort the trash and get the recycle cans to turn them in for a charity. This confirms the point that no money can be made by recycling and it confirms Kramer’s point. Meanwhile “Ralph” and I were enjoying a yummy Kale and Captain and he inquired about the recycling effort here in New York. I inform him that the “Can People” handle that and actually it makes the Trash Pick Up really a breeze.

So here is the deal. In New York our recycle specifically the cans and bottles are handled by what I call is the Can Mafia/People. You see our Recycle/Trash/Dumpster is put on the street during certain times of the week. Naturally, I am not around during this time but I have seen the can sorting happen in different parts of the city. So in Brooklyn at our building the Can People (Primary people of Asian Descent) show up and sort the bags to pull out cans and bottles. No big deal right? Well then a big arse truck shows up and they load them into the truck and by God this is a fucking Network. These folks are better organized than the Eye-Talians. Oh and you better not encroach on ones’ turf. I have seen this. It isn’t pretty.

We got a damn Can Network Going on here in New York!

I can’t recall when trash day is for our building but I looked at this like it was normal.
Don’t piss these folks off. They will yell at you!
I should tell them that they should be out front of a certain house in The Boogie Down or a Church in the UES on St. Patrick’s Day.

Have a good day!

A Trip to 161st Street to sit in “The Baller Seats”

Sometimes it is good to be Carbunkle Trumpet. Oh and sometimes it is even better to be sitting in Baller seats for a Yankees/Red Sox home series on Friday night. Needless to say it is a helluva good perk of working for the Double Decker Tour Bus Company. Oh and for the Yankees to win too? What can I say? I am money!

Second Row on the Third Base Side Doesn’t suck!
Wish they would put last names on the Jersey’s because I don’t know all my players yet.
Not too bad for a Friday Night
The Red Sox’s TV Personality
Seriously Judge is a grown damn Man!

Feel Free To Hate. I even hate myself for sitting in these seats since I am not such a huge Yankees Fan. But I will still live with myself. Oh and I am 1-0 sitting in these seats and the Yankees swept the Red Sox on this series.

What is up with the picture of the baby Elvi?

I just like it. It makes me happy and I also know that Memphis is probably going to be in a heat advisory since it is Dead Elvis Week. Did you know that I can also forecast the Memphis weather?

  • Coldest Day of the Year in Memphis – Whatever day they play the Liberty Bowl Game
  • Hottest Day of the Year in Memphis – Around Dead Elvis Week
  • Rainiest Day/Week of the Year in Memphis – Beale Street Musicfest or World Championship BBQ Cooking Contest.

I mean if you know the past, you can predict the future.

I am going to share with you some pictures I snapped this past Sunday from the Murphranks Rooftop. Bobcat & Professor were there along with Rocky and Monkey Head Maya. Sorry folks but No pictures of the Humans – I mean have you ever seen Meg or Bobcat in the same place? Same goes for Matt or the Professor? Come to think of it, I haven’t seen Geranium for the past 24 hours. I bet she is in Seattle again.

Maya prefers to be sitting in a lap getting petted. Don’t we all?
Don’t worry Dad, I will protect the Cheese Cooler
The Jar-Man used to say that the sunsets over beautiful West Memphis Arkansas. I guess we can say it sets over beautiful New Jersey
Wonder what asshole lives in that tall as building? I understand from Mr. 3 First Names that my view of the Empire State Building is about to change.
That doesn’t suck. Oh and I found out that The Bobcat and Professor were married in that church to the left of the row houses.

Tomorrow I take the gloves off and blast expedia for their shitty customer service.

4 Trips Around the sun living in the Empire State

Last week I got one of these notifications that 4 years ago that it was my last board meeting at HW/AMF. I started to think to myself that time has flown by. It was just yesterday that we were hanging at the South Bluffs pool having our Friday board meetings and the Horners only had 1 kid.

Looking back over the past year it has been a whirlwind with Tons of Travel. In no particular order;

  • St. Louis for Missy & Kristina’s Wedding (September)
  • Northwest Arkansas for Hogs/Bama Football weekend (October)
  • Geranium made 3 trips to Japan, Germany, Spain and France
  • She also has made a bunch of trips to Seattle. Either she really loves the Starbucks coffee and flannel or she has a side piece over there. Oh wait her new momma is domiciled there.
  • Memphis for Christmas
  • Northwest Arkansas for Family Christmas (January)
  • London for a Quickie Weekend (February)
  • Weekend Trip to Cryder Hollow (March)
  • Quickie trip to the Fun Side of the Wall before Geranium headed to Switzerland (April)
  • Geranium headed to the land of Swiss Army knives for a month.
  • Trip to Barcelona over BSMF weekend to see Geranium
  • Trip to Geneva over WCBCC weekend to see Geranium
  • Trip to the Redneck Rivera to hang with the Horner’s and their 2 kids.

We also made our yearly pilgrimage to Per Se for Christmas. We made a trip to Philly for a Christmas party and had some fun times with our friends over the past year too.

Back when I had longer hair and there wasn’t any grey in there either.
Barcelona!
London with this guy!
Got to see the Parade thanks to Zsquared
A little Phil Collins
Selfie at the Bridge
Swiss Alps!
Glad we knocked that one off the list. Not like Oaklawn at all.

It is still the best decision moving up here we ever did.

“Should we return to our roots and go to a Redneck Show in Queens?”

Shout out to BK who is a faithful follower of this “Worthless Dribble” of a blog! (putting this here so it will appear in the header of my Social Media posts)

Regarding the Title…that was the body of the text message that I got from (Name Withheld To Protect our Northern Values) about 6 weeks back. So it would appear that Hank Williams Jr was doing a show with Lynyrd Skynyrd in a farewell tour for Skynyrd at Forrest Hills Stadium. Now before I sell out the person who sent the text message I doubled down on them. I informed (said) person that I will have to check. I told them I know “a guy” who works on the Hank tour and I would message him to see if 1- he still was still on tour and 2 – he could get us some better seats.

BK responded back to me saying that he could take care of us and get us some tickets (he knows I am not a ticket mooch) because I wanted to see him and hang out. For those of you wondering who this BK guy is…..well… we served time together. I am not talking about Federal “Pound You In The Ass” Prison, I am talking something much worse…. A month long festival that included a 3 day Music Festival, Rednecks with Smokers and then KC & The ‘Mother Fucking’ Sunshine Band! Oh did I mention that we also had an almost Tornado hit the park so on night 2 of the Music event we evacuated >30K people? Yep, BK and I may have been different ships at sea at the time (I was fun-employed, he was about to get married the following January) we respected each other and played well with others which made it easier to deal with that crap……Well…..Except for the WCBCC Volunteers. We both would choose Communism over them! (that may take a hit on the blog but nobody reads this shit anyway)

Say what you will about Social Media and Facebook. I don’t post much on FB except to plug this worthless dribble but BK and I kept up with each other via this platform. When his (Saint of a wife,I might add) posted that she needed some birthday cards for BK’s monumental celebration how did she get the word out? Facebook. Anyway this was the mode of keeping up with our lives for the past 9 years.

Flash forwarding to the show. Let me tell you (sorry Maria) but Forrest Hills Stadium FUCKING ROCKS as a venue! Holy Shit and it is fun as crap too with the Food Trucks and the booze! The fact that its nestled in the middle of Forrest Hills Queens (MEMPHIS FOLKS – Think Cross between Mud Island Theater Seating but in the midtown are like the Levitt Shell Location) it blows my mind. Oh and the line up this summer isn’t that too fucking bad either.

So before I go into the pictures; Thank You BK. Thank you for tickets and thank you for following this worthless dribble of a blog. But most importantly thank you the fact that one of these days I won’t have to come to your office so we can hang out have some laughs. “Play it Loud” runs at the Met till the fall so come on up! If not I welcome a trip down south and we can giggle at some of the stuff we have seen over the past 10 years. Thank you.

The current Line Up for Forrest Hills. Hey GurleyGurl, Dessert Buddy & Geranium’s Sushi Buddy, and naturally Doty – September 11th. Come Up! You Got a Guy!
Pic of the Venue from Sound World
Like I said, Small Venue but its fun and lots of history!
Venue from the Food Trucks/Tents
Tons of Food and Drink – Bring your wallet!
Seriously, Thank you Billy! I might add we still look good for all that clean living too!
Hank Jr Baby!
The ICON and his son.
Oh these Knuckleheads tagged along too!
So did these Knuckleheads too!
This actually is one of the greatest live Concert Pictures that I have ever taken from an iFoam. And the Fact that Jethro in front giving us Double Hook em Horns is even better!
As expected, I didn’t post a picture of us at the event. I promise we were there. I need to work on those Robo Selfies!

What a great Sunday in Queens. Anyone want to come up for September 11th. I want to go see Willie……

1 Hour To The Airport Door to Door – Downtown Brooklyn to EWR

When I was taking all of those trips abroad to see Geranium I became well versed in airport travel and flying in and out of Newark International (EWR) airport. I liked flying out of there based on the fact that it is a United hub and they had more options than JFK to Europe. Before we moved to Brooklyn we hardly ever flew out of EWR since LGA was the quicker airport and JFK had the flat $50.00 fee. Uber to EWR from the UES or Brooklyn always cost us about $100.00. That was until we found New Jersey Transit.

The other day one of my peers asked me why I was always flying out of Newark International Airport considering that JFK and LGA were closer. I told him that I actually found that public transportation to EWR is actually quicker and much more reliable than to JFK and a shit ton better than LGA. It also only costs me like roughly $15.75 and I don’t have to worry about traffic or a bad uber driver. Let me explain via pictures that I took on my trip to the Redneck Rivera.

*Editors Note – You can’t be traveling with tons of luggage on MTA or NJT. You will get scolded and its a bitch to go up and down the stairs.

31 Minutes to LGA with ZERO traffic
39 Minutes to JFK with ZERO Traffic and the Public Transportation is slightly better
By far the longest travel by car and Traffic can be a bitch and expensive
Leave out of the Nevins Station via the 2/3 Train to Penn Station
Penn Station jump on a EWR Bound New Jersey Train that runs every 15 minutes for 3 stops to Newark International
Jump off New Jersey Transit and you grab the Air Train to the Terminal
Clear TSA Pre Check and I am sitting here 1 hour from when I boarded the 2/3 train in Brooklyn
Next Thing I know I am on the plane heading out of here!
Well look who I ran into in the Pensacola Airport!

In Memphis the magic saying was “It is 15 Minutes to the airport.” Here it is “It is 1 Hour to the airport.”

The 2019 Carl Lipbalm Memorial Caddy Scholarship Winner 1 of 2 – ZF

Do you recall 3 summers ago we hosted The 2016 Caddy Scholarship Winner Special Ed? What about last summer when it was the 2018’s Caddy Scholarship Winner Love Bug? By the way, the 2017 Caddy Scholarship winner elected to forgo her trip to NYC and took the cash equivalent. What that means is that her parents are free to use our condo when we are away as long as they keep the dog alive. So this spring we had 2 High School graduates which can cause a logistical issue considering we only have room for 1 stinky body at a time. Thankfully we told both sets of parents (who happen to be sisters) that it would be first come first served for dates that can fit our schedule. ZF selected this past weekend which unbeknownst to him would also happen to be the hottest weekend.

No need to cry over spilled Gold Bond! Come on and we will adjust the schedule to accommodate time to reapply powder to prevent Swamp Ass. ZF arrived Thursday evening and thankfully Geranium was able to collect him at the airport and bring him in via New York Subway.

Friday Morning I took young ZF with me as I was going to show him around town, make some calls for work and then hand him off to Geranium in the afternoon. We were like Tourist Ninja’s on Friday Morning and hit the following;

  • Wall Street and NYSE
  • Federal Hall
  • The Charging Bull on Broadway (I fucked up and forgot they moved Fearless Girl to the NYSE and it was too hot to go back)
  • Staten Island Ferry and a Trip to see the Bitch in the Harbor (FYI – Friday AM is the best time to do this)
  • 9/11 Footprints
  • 10 Ladder/10 Engine
  • Alexander Hamilton’s Grave at Trinity (The CBT Surprise)
  • Times Square (kill me BTW)
  • Cobert Studio
  • Fancy Lunch at a Midtown East Sushi House
  • Rockefeller Center
  • Fallon’s Marquee
  • Joe’s Pizza
  • St. Patrick Cathedral
  • UES trip to see some of CBT’s customers
  • Grand Central Station

So after that we came home because well let’s be honest. I was dripping wet and even though he wouldn’t admit it, he was miserable too. Thankfully we knocked off a lot on that trip. That evening Geranium took ZF to see “House of Mormon” and I went to get a cigar.

Saturday we changed it up and because it was miserable hot we did the Bus tour called “The Ride.” It was neat but unfortunately the AC in the bus couldn’t keep up but nevertheless we had a good time. That evening we went to see Blue Man Group which we have never seen. It was good and we enjoyed the AC.

Sunday we took it easy and took ZF over to Coney island for a Nathan’s Hot Dog and to see the boardwalk. We didn’t last long and ended up back at the apartment to suck in some AC.

As always, it was a great time to spend time with someone you normally don’t spend time with at Holiday events and it is always fun to see someone experience New York City for the first time. Sure its a pain in the ass in Times Square during the heat but that is what makes this city so much fun. The guys who emcee The Ride were taken back when we told them we were from Brooklyn. Then they figured it out when we said ZF was from Little Rock Arkansas. On to the pictures..

What do you mean I have to pose for pictures. Nobody told me this in my orientation.
Shut up kid and smile with the Bitch in the harbor!
I am guessing I am getting Thumbs up because Grand Central is Air Conditioned!
Or maybe ZF prefers Stephen Colbert in the UWS
Cousin Trumpet you are taking this picture because the girl in the blue jean shorts aren’t you?
Missed this by 30 minutes on Friday heading into the city.
You are tweeting Geranium aren’t you?
I give this props, it is pretty fun!
On The Ride
Disclaimer – They have performances pre set along the route.
I mean they are killing it and it was probably 100 degrees in Columbus Circle on Saturday.
But what is fun is that this is New York and the Tourist on the Bus don’t see it yet.
Seriously nobody has seen it yet.
Thanks guy bathing in the Fountain. Only in New York!
For Blue Man Group
Let’s Take a Selfie
We were in Orchestra, down below is called “Poncho” for obvious reasons
Really another picture?
Who are you tweeting now?
Please, last pic, I am dying in this heat!
We had fun playing with you ZF!

It was fun but it was hot and thankfully ZF was a good sport. We had fun playing with you.