Downtown Brooklyn

Pictures of the Week

It was a good week. Geranium returns tomorrow morning as she is catching the red eye from Seattle.

Geranium made the crapper smell nice
Bloomingdales….Oh the Shame! Its a Union Thing.
Going to see one of these jokers next month. Another one in this picture also celebrated his Divorce. “Second Happiest Day of my Life….Divorced!”
Summertime means breaking out the fun suits!
Decided that the Chuck Taylors needed a bath and cleaning.
Had the owner of the Madewood Flop House Sneak into town!
GurleyGurl, Doty and Mel – You want to come into town on September 11th and go to an old tennis stadium?
Yep, I was in Brooklyn on Sunday. Matching Buns
“Hello 911 – There is a plane crashing into the East River.” – you would be suprised how many of those calls happen in a week.

Have a good weekend Folks!

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Can We Have This Brownstone?

My Russian Brother from another mother decided that he wanted to sell his current house and move to the non Italian side of Staten Island. While I can’t wait to break in his new backyard with a proper Memphis BBQ I am going to have to wait a couple weeks till he closes on the new home. That being said, this weekend we decided to go forth and find some plants for our windowsill.

While we were walking back from the flower shop we stumbled upon this beautiful brownstone on State Street not too far from our place. Anybody want to go in halvesies?

Steps away from the 4/5 and 2/3 Train Stop.
First Floor we could have the communal sharing with kitchen and living room and dining room.
Second Floor someone can have the entire floor
Third Floor someone can have the entire floor
We could Air BnB the apartment in the basement to pay for the beer
Yeah there is traffic but think about it!
How cool is that outdoor upper Terrace?
I wanted to get this for Geranium but we went for variety
We need a water feature for our apartment

Taco girl I bet it costs a little more to heat and cool than the Taco Hut. Oh and by the way, I give the plants 3 weeks before we are getting new ones.

Saturday Shenanigans With Bobcat, Mr 3 First Names and Lady Barrister

I am sure that some of you are wondering What In The Cornbread Feck I am doing posting on a Sunday? I can barely type on some Sundays and now I am posting on this worthless dribble today? I am blaming Geranium (the woman not the plant) *Shout out to Jean-Jean the Dancing Belizean Queen for making me snort the other day with her comment* on making me get up at the crack of ass of dawn now 2 days in a row. I am thinking that she has given me her Switzerland Jet Lag!

So yesterday the aforementioned in the title gathered at Greenwood Park for some Libations and Laughs. I have not visited some of the Memphis haunts that I see people talk about but I equate it to Loflin Yards or Railgarden (thank you GurleyGurl) as it has been re-purposed and turned into a pretty cool venue. Oh did you think I am going to show any pictures of us wearing our Superhero capes from yesterday? Nope!

The Front of Greenwood Park
I am betting that outside bar is kinda of a bitch to work when it’s really hot or cold
Photo I nipped off the internet of the outdoor space
Got to love the old school Muscle Cars
Cloudy Sunset from our building
Why can’t we have that patio and apartment?
Brooklyn Point under construction. Street on the left is Schemerhorn, Street on the right is Livingston
Looking towards Queens
The East River and Manhattan

Have a good Sunday and weekend.

Pictures of the Week…And Last Week Too!

*Disclaimer – I am preloading this on Wednesday night so next week my stuff will be more current.

Hey Nice Graffiti!
We sat at the bar and watched Skillet do this for about 30 minutes. My question was – “How the F Did he get there and how did he get off?”
I took this pic because the beer was good at the Mead festival!
A Gin Tonic and a Guinness? They have Irish bars in Switzerland? Yes they do!
Meant to show this to Mr. 3 First Names on Tuesday night.
Love me this dive bar. They have The Queen on the wall!
This won’t hurt will it?
Alabama and their abortions – This is my retort.
The Half Head CBT/Geranium Selfie!
Taco Girl. I got you a bouquet of balloons.

Have a good Memorial Day Weekend!

Wait…What…You Mean Today is the 23rd of May….FUCK! Geranium Returns Today! RoboPalooza is OVER!!

Would it have killed one of you Fuckers to remind me that today is the day that Mary Louise returns? I have been busy AF getting the house back to normal. I just found the dog buried under a pile of dirty clothes – Throw that shit away…..the dirty clothes, not the dog. Get the printer table cut down so Geranium can work from her work station or she isn’t going to be happy. Where is the fucking toilet brush???? No time, just use her Quip Toothbrush and get another one later this afternoon. Now I got swing by the bank and pay all the neighbors off for the month long Robo-Palooza festivities we have been having. She asked me to text Maria to get her a hair appointment. Maria you got help a brother out and say you have been too busy to respond to me!

Wash the sheets…Fuck it call Bed Bath and Beyond and tell them I got a code Blue!
Been looking at this for 25 days. Who do I have to Fuck to get this cut down. Thanks to Chris at The Hub for hooking me out!
Fits like a glove!
Way to one up me there Maya with the roses. I got the $5 arrangement but I see you went big balls. Wait till I tell her that you shit on her pillow!

I am kidding folks. I am ready to see my wife. I am ready to spend a nice weekend with her. I am ready to make no plans this weekend with her. I am proud of her for this experiment. I am very gracious that I was able to see her 2 times during her 32 day trip and I am ready for her to be State Side for the next 180 days!

Cooking Solo – This Sucks!

So I got back from Barcelona. I got over the jet lag. I spent last weekend more or less chilling on the couch with the dog and managed to do a little ‘celebrating’ with the Landlord and Mr. 3 First Names. They got the final approval and permit on the remodel job they have been doing since this fall so we had some drinks to celebrate. Last weekend was great and very much needed after spending 18 hours traveling to a +6 time zone the weekend prior.

On Monday, Geranium informed me she made a mistake and a Marley Spoon food delivery slipped through so I should expect a box arriving on Monday. If you are familiar with the food meal plans out there you can get as many days as you wish and can pick the number of portions per meal. We are a 2 ass house so we get 2 meals X the number of days with Marley Spoon. Normally there are enough leftovers for Geranium’s lunch the next day and we normally get 3 days of meals.

Problem is that I am currently a one ass house and the meal came so late on Monday that I only have 2 days to cook a 3 day 2 person meal box. I figured that I would leave one meal for our dog sitter G-Man but I would need to cook on Tuesday and Wednesday. Another issue was that my lunches the next day were going to be booked so I am basically wasting a portion. How do single people cook a meal for one person? I joke with of one of my peers who is celebrating his birthday today that his fridge is full of condiment packets and beer since they don’t cook.

I forged on and made the meal with the idea of giving the other portion away. Problem was that George the Cat’s mom was away and the Bahamians at the end of the hall hadn’t been seen in weeks. Who the hell am I going to give this extra meal to? I made the extra meal and figured that I would either give it to our building concierge Jackie or I would take it across the street and give it to one of the homeless guys in the park. Please note that I am normally hesitant to give food away in the park. By that hour those guys in the park are either going to sleep or are just getting warmed up if you know what I mean. You just don’t know how many people are going to be in the park or what stage of high they may be.

Thankfully Jackie was at the desk and she loved her some sirloin steak. I informed her that I had another meal for Wednesday so she told me that she would pass on her normal food. Last night I didn’t feel bad because I was cooking this week for at least one person. By the way, when I told Geranium who I cooked on Tuesday night for she informed me that she ate potato chips for dinner that night. #SadTromboneSound

Bring your ass home Geranium and let me cook for you!

The fridge is full of stuff I have no time to mess with now! Incidentally Sam S – Velveeta and Red Bull are staples during single Carbunkle Trumpet Times.
Well I might as well make this damned thing
Potato Rounds and Green Beans in the oven
Oh I cooked them just fine but one sprung a leak!
Jackie was happy and even loved on Maya who was less than thrilled!

Anyone know of a good Single person menu item/dish other than Pizza or Fried Egg Sandwiches? I have a couple more days next week.

Living the Bachelors Dream Here Folks

I was trying to think back the other day when was the last time I lived alone. I had to go back to 1992 when I was living in the Shrine Building, working at Chez Philippe. and making more money than God. Since then I went out to East Memphis for a brief stint and then back downtown and started cramping Didi’s style at 71 Union Ave. Then I met Mary Louise and since then the toilet seat has been down ever since.

Mary Louise is to return back in the US on the 22nd of May until then it is going to be just me and the dog. Oh and don’t worry, I am not sitting here on the couch crying my eyes out. Vivian and Stone and I had dinner last weekend and I have a feeling that Maria and I will catch a dinner in the next couple of weeks. Of course Mr. 3 First Names and I have been out every night coming home in the early hours of the morning with Memphis in May sobriety. Ok that is a lie, he and the Landlord have been busy over there in the Slope with a remodeling job that is over halfway done. Maybe we can get some drinks next weekend.

I have been spending a lot more time at work and getting stuff done which isn’t bad for me. Naturally I have been spending a couple more hours than normal at the Gym that I belong to. The gym is over on East 73rd street between 1st and 2nd Avenue and I walk out of there needing a shower because I stink. For those of you who are not doubled over laughing need to know that the gym isn’t called Soul Cycle or Equinox but The Cigar Inn.

Oh and don’t cry for me too much. My ass is leaving this evening heading over to Barcelona to meet up with Geranium. She is going to be there for training so I figured I would crash her style and get some Spanish culture in too! Oh and by the way, when I text or facetime with Geranium she doesn’t care about me, she wants to see pics of the dog. Below are some of the pics from this past week.

Made me a work station while Geranium is away
Why are you walking me at 5:30AM? Why can’t I sleep in?
What the Corn Bread Fuck? I am never in here when there are 2 of you here.
I am going to get all my toys and play on the bed while you are pooping dad
Life is Hard
Stretching before we go out to pee
Kind of hard being this cute dad.
Even got one of those Nanny Cams. It is kind of boring since she is kenneled while I am away
See you fuckers on Monday!

Have a good weekend folks!

Pictures of the Week

Since Mary Louise has left my ass for the neutral zone country I will have more time to get on this worthless dribble. My pictures that I will be posting will be a couple weeks off but that is fine. You guy’s don’t pay for this entertainment anyway.

I asked them if they knew Laurie and they said they never heard of her.
Did some remodeling before Geranium left my ass with the dog.
Still a work in process.
Congrats to UWS Holly on being at the close of the NY Stock Exchange Bell. Bucket List item for a lot of people.
Does this mean that Zim-Bob could be a New Yorker? Hell Yes!

Have a good weekend. I am heading to Philly for a quick trip to hang with Pepe.

How Far Is It From…..

Looks like New York City is going to be a favorite destination for a bunch of our friends from Memphis and from all parts of the world. We love it and hope that our schedules mesh so we can spend some time catching up. One question that we get a lot from our friends is “How far is it from where you live?”

If you look at the greater part of Manhattan north of 14th Street it resembles a rectangle. The streets are mapped out in a grid and it is pretty easy to give directions; instead of saying “1300 First Avenue” you can say “1st Avenue between 71st and 72nd.” When we lived in the UES we found that it was a bitch getting cross town. However, when going North and South it was pretty easy. To give you good way to put the city into quadrants; 5th Avenue is the East/West Line and 59th Street is North/South Line. People would ask us all the time where should they get a hotel. We found that even though it was chaos 24/7 around Times Square it was the best starting place because of it being centrally located in Manhattan. The Surrey and The Mark hotels are very nice hotels but being tucked up by 77th and Madison Avenue makes it hard getting downtown or around the city. Same goes with the Upper West Side. (Sorry UWS Holly)

When we were looking for places to live we found that Downtown Brooklyn was a really good option for a number of reasons. For starters it is 2 subway stops from Manhattan. Add to that we have over 13 different subway lines to pick and choose from to get into the city. This really helps when lines are down on the weekend. We looked briefly at Long Island City over in Queens to live but ruled that out when looking at subway options. The L line was slated (at the time we were apartment looking) to be shut down and the 7 train always has issues so that was ruled out.

When saying that having 13 different subway lines to pick and choose from is a big deal let me explain further. If I want to get to the West Side of Time Square or Penn Station I would take the 2/3 from Nevins Street. If I wanted to get to the East Side of Manhattan and say Grand Central I would take the 4/5 also from Nevins. If I was going to the West Village I might take the A/C from Hoyt & Schermerhorn. And If I was going to say a certain cigar joint in the UES I would take the Q from DeKalb. (Confused Yet?) Let me tell you about a little secret that a lot of New Yorkers use on a regular basis. Google Maps is your best friend. To say that I use that app more than anything is an understatement. It can give you quickest the subway routes and if MTA has their act together it can give you a pretty good spot on schedule.

Now with anything there are always exceptions, and even Google Maps can fail you from time to time. If it is the weekend they will take down lines and or stations for maintenance. Sometimes Google gets that news but in the case of yesterday when there were electrical fires because of the snow and ice. This can create some anxiety if you are not used to the subway but the uniformed agents on hand are always helpful to give suggestions. Hell even fellow New Yorkers are happy to give you advice. It is almost a game with some people in giving the best suggestions. Trust me.

That being said here are some aprox travel times from our joint in Crime-Free Downtown Brooklyn direct to various spots in the city;

  • Downtown Brooklyn to Grand Central – 28 minutes via the 4/5
  • Downtown Brooklyn to Times Square – 30 minutes via Q or the 2/3
  • Downtown Brooklyn to Cigar Inn in the UES – 34 minutes via the Q
  • Downtown Brooklyn to 9/11 Memorial – 20 min via the 4/5
  • Downtown Brooklyn to Empire State Building – 25 min via the B or Q
  • Downtown Brooklyn to Red Rooster in Harlem – 44 min via the 2/3
  • Downtown Brooklyn to Maya’s Dog Groomer – 39 minutes via 4/5
  • Downtown Brooklyn to Yankee Stadium – 47 minutes via the 4
  • Downtown Brooklyn to Mary Louise’s Office in Summit NJ – 1hr 22 min via the 2/3 to Penn Station then NJ Transit to Summit NJ (I suspect she goes to Japan to avoid this commute)

Not that I don’t love Taxi’s or Uber/Lyft but you will pay more and 99.9% of the times be delayed due to traffic depending on the time of the day.

The Red Dot at the bottom is our pad. Getting into lower Manhattan is a breeze and taking express trains can cut a normal 45 min car ride in half.
Of course when your 2 of your main arteries are shut down it makes for an interesting travel day. I guess you could say that 240 was shut down that day.

So who is coming to see us?

Mary Louise Needs to Bring Her Ass Home!

The Dog and I are starting to get on each others nerves. Seriously, she has been gone since last Tuesday and we are missing her. The Seamless Delivery dude and I know each other on a first name basis. The good news is that I have watched pretty much every episode of “M*A*S*H*” and “Two and a Half Men” (She hates those shows) but the DVD is getting full of her midget and Dr. Pimple Popper shows.

Mary Louise requested me to get her a hair appointment. I guess it is kinda hard to book stuff when you are 14 hours away.
Oh No PETA offending sushi this time Geranium?
The Dog and I play a rousing game of “Did you just fart?”

And for those of you wondering when @Maya_in_NYC Instagram will be posting again. She gets in Friday afternoon from her flight from Toyko!