Downtown Stuff

The Carl Lipbalm Memorial Scholarship Winner Comes to The Big Apple

Remember back 2 years ago when we had one of our niece’s come up to celebrate her graduating from High School. So we had a cousin aka “Love Bug” come up this past weekend. The agenda for the past weekend was dinner Thursday Night. Bum around town on Friday and have dinner with the other cousin in downtown Brooklyn. Saturday a play was in order and then we would figure out dinner.

We really had a great time spending the weekend with “Love Bug” and naturally watching her experience a lot of things that we now take for granted up here. “Love Bug” had a blast and she found out a couple of things; Raw Oysters on the half shell are a hard no. Breaded and Baked Clams ala Patrizias of Brooklyn are also frowned upon. But I am happy to report that escargot from Blue Ribbon gets a pass and she loved street meat from The Hallal Guys.

The weekend was fun and we had a blast with her. Thanks to her momma and daddy for letting us hang out with her.

IMG_4154Love Bug Takes on The Big Apple and Times Square!

IMG_4155The closest that I made it to a Broadway musical! That is Mary Louise’s job!

IMG_4156All kidding aside Times Square is still pretty cool and has an undeniable energy about it!

IMG_4163Getting a slice at Joe’s Pizza! Can’t get anymore Authentic NYC than this!

IMG_4166Here Love Bug is about to take down here first Raw Oyster!

IMG_4167Unfortunately I don’t have the picture of her reaction when she put the ‘snot like’ oyster in her mouth. She was a good sport by trying it! I mean they don’t have an abundance of saltwater oysters in Northwest Arkansas!

IMG_4174“Wait we are going to an intersection in Midtown Manhattan to have lunch?”

IMG_4176We made our way downtown by Trinity Church/The 911 Church and she found some old dead guy’s grave. For those of you wondering – the white grave is Alexander Hamilton’s grave. I hear he had a play written about him.

IMG_4184Wait it isn’t my birthday……

IMG_4183Let us Celebrate “Love Bug’s” fake birthday!

IMG_4187The Traffic here really bites you know Uncle CBT? Why didn’t you get me an Uber for Helicopters?

IMG_4190I can see my house from here! Sadly the day we went to the roof it was overcast but I am sure that some good snaps were taken.

Come back anytime Love Bug but make sure that you don’t tell your little brother about what goes on in New York. Next year is his turn.

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Friday Round Up

Tough day yesterday for the Music Industry. Not only was it the 41st anniversary of the death of The King (if you don’t know who that is then we can’t be friends) but Aretha Franklin died yesterday. On the evening of the Candlelight vigil I texted my two fellow Elvis fans and we watched “The Highwaymen”. God Help us when we lose Willie Nelson. That will not be a good day.

Oh and Congrats to Queens Bully’s Chef Melvin “Boots” Johnson on his win on the Memphis version of Chopped. He edged out my friend Ernie Mellor and we plan on getting over that way in the near future to try his food out.

Here are some pictures from the past week;

IMG_3988The Lady Killer on his first day of school. Don’t you just want to pinch those cheeks of his?

IMG_3981Momma Don’t Babies Grow Up to be Cowboys

IMG_3954You never know who will jump over that wall and come see us!

IMG_3993One of the many Street Tributes to the King!

IMG_3992You can almost feel the heat coming from this ETA from being in Memphis in August, the unforgiving of polyester to breathe and from being with 2 hot ladies

IMG_3984Love ya Mel!

IMG_3957This could almost be us with this Ad

IMG_3989The golden rule is “If it tastes bland or doesn’t have Grease or Cheese on it then it must be good for you.”

Have a good weekend. We got to a ETA tribute in Westbury this weekend.

933 Days and I got it done!

What did I do that took almost 2 and half years to accomplish you ask? I am proud to report that I have the Entire Upper East Side of Manhattan (North of E60th Street to E96th Street,  West of 5th Avenue to the East River) speaking Southern!  It is a thing of beauty, I have everyone saying “hello” and “good morning” on the streets. Snapple and fizzy water has been replaced with freshly brewed Lipton Iced Tea. Bacon Lettuce and Tomato with Pimento Cheese has replaced the Gyro carts on the streets. And Finally the first Friday after Memorial Day everyone will be wearing Seersucker!

I am pretty proud of myself, I didn’t think I could do it. Hell, I even have my work family now issuing “Bless Your Heart” to people instead of saying “F You!”  So what is next for Carbunkle Trumpet you wonder? WE ARE TAKING OUR SHOW IN THE ROAD TO DOWNTOWN BROOKLYN! Yep! We are moving out of the UES and heading to the borough of Brooklyn! Home of Jay Z, Manbuns and Hipsters and I am putting all of you on notice! Ok, so the real reason could be that Momma has taken a new job so we have to move out of her employers housing but we are excited for the new adventure.

We looked at a number of different locations on this rock and other rocks and decided that we needed the following things;

  • One or two subway stops back into Manhattan and easily walkable
  • Multiple Subway Lines for when there are delays, cancelations or weekend repairs
  • Full Service Building so they can accept our Vodka & Wine fruit & vegetable deliveries
  • Office or business center shared space in common area
  • Outdoor space and maybe an outdoor grill for daddy to burn red meat
  • Had to be cool and have a neighborhood tavern (or two)

Downtown Brooklyn checked all the boxes so we started to find a new home in that area. We looked into one building but they would only allow one dog and since we have two that collectively weigh 11 pounds that was out. We found another joint that is just as good and pending the vetting process we are in. We are shooting for next week to move so don’t be surprised if this sucker is quiet next week.

data=2M2OiB_yxfn5DcdjDRgvI6wr69jNRy3suS-zfNpCNuuMB_IbWMxsjfy6d2reA7Kcv5tiy7Pqdj1XX4k_InfgQqIgpJBUQt63NdtgsnjRhj--JFktXUBjgvOMCIXHj8hTyuyOWe are smack dab in the middle of everything. Walking distance to the Barclays Center, right next to a University that we may know the head men’s basketball coach, it is a quick Subway ride to the Murphranks and there is an IHop on the Fulton Mall!

IMG_3004Roughly 13 subway lines I can jump on to get into the city!

imagesHere is the front of our Non-Hipster Building

Dattner-Architects_HubOasisAll186_web-1-840x580I mean this isn’t too bad for those 30 nice days of summer for us to enjoy!

IMG_3011Maya is saying “Wait, I like the UES! People tell me that I look cute and want to pet me! I don’t even like the Beastie Boys”

IMG_3012Maddy is looking forward to taking a wiz on the artificial grass in the dog run that they have. Yep she will peeing on Brady Bunch Astroturf!

IMG_3070This part sucks, basically because we don’t have much room to put shit

IMG_3069Office and Holiday Crap is in boxes!

IMG_3068You will notice that the Cigar Humidor and the Steve Bartman Bobble Head are still here. I will pack those last of course!

IMG_3067Blue Dogs are packed and ready to move to Brooklyn

IMG_3065Not to say that we don’t have a lot to offer but do any of your future residents make Logo Cornbread? Please accept us and can you make it quick, we are starting to get nervous!

We will keep you posted, till then I will be busy growing out my hair for the Man bun!

 

Special Saturday Post – Go Tigers Go

Been busy since getting back from Memphis. We just left town as the Flu Bug was arriving and have been overdosing on Airborne and all kinds of old wives tales on how to stay healthy. Anyway it was a good trip and we tried to see as many people as we could in such a short time.

I plan on ‘borrowing’ an idea from JENSIZED and post something similar to her 10 things she accomplished probably tomorrow. Right now it is snowing, I have to go get the dogs from the groomer and there should be cigars smoked this afternoon with the boys.

Go Tigers and if you are sitting on the couch right now and have Liberty Bowl Tickets get your ass off the couch. Go put on your bedroom comforter coat and get your ass to the game! We can’t let Iowa State show us up!

IMG_2460This is Monkey Head Maya’s sister. As you can see Maxi is much larger than Maya but we love them both.

IMG_2462Lady Killer – “Uncle CBT you paying for dinner tonight.”
Me – “Yeah but keep it light, I may be living in New York City but I don’t want to be reminded of those costs down here.”
Lady Killer – “No problem, Um Sir (*to the waiter) I will have the Surf and Turf!”

IMG_2463This is just F’d up! Why have wine in the grocery store if you can’t buy it on Sunday.

IMG_2466And for those of you wondering, no that dress that Mrs. Trumpet is wearing is not meant to be serious. It was her Tacky Sweater outfit that she got from China for $10.00 and took 6 weeks to arrive.

IMG_2468Yes, I even went to Mass on Christmas Day with my mother, wife, EGP, & EGP’s Dad. And no the church didn’t fall down either.

IMG_2467Because when you go to Mass you never know what you will see in the Nativity Scene. Take a look at one of the Wisemen that I put in the center of this pic. Is that M’effer wearing a pimp hat? I think so! Oh and if you laughed then you will join me in hell too! Welcome aboard!

IMG_2469Ziggy in the House!

IMG_2470Going to be disappointed that I can’t drink beer with this guy on New Years Day like we did last year!

IMG_2480Well I have always said that if it is going to be this cold it might as well snow. What an asshole I am!

 

Have a good Saturday and Thanks for reading.

Drinks on the Water – Sunday Funday Pictures

Two Sundays back the Murphranks, the Work Wife, EA, Mrs. Trumpet and I decided to take advantage of a nice day and went down to Pier A in Battery Park. The weather was classic and here are some pics from our trip.

IMG_1434Found this Gem at Stone and Broad down in the Financial District.

IMG_1437Shout out to my favorite Coors Light Drinker!

IMG_1439Here is when Mr. 3 First Names started spewing hate – I reminded him that Staten Island had it’s own Ferry.

IMG_1436The Statue of Liberty

IMG_1440The Sunset was spectacular that Sunday

IMG_1441It doesn’t Suck down here

IMG_1442The Statue at Sunset

IMG_1443Ellis Island at sunset

How was your Sunday Funday?

 

Pictures of the Week – Memphis and NYC

This additional duty of doing a daily Corny Lenten Joke and my other job as an amateur tattoo artist is tough on a guy so I apologize for this not getting posted yesterday. Here are some pics that ended up in my phone from last week’s wedding (some I don’t have a clue how they got there) & some I snapped here in Gotham.

img_0395Only in Memphis on Cleveland at Poplar do they have this awning.

img_0396Mommy, why is that strange man who daddy calls Robo taking a picture of me and don’t the courts say that he has to be 50 feet from me? Love me some Lisa Marie (not her real name) and next trip she will be making my bloody Mary’s for me!

img_0397Sure, let’s go to Wet Willies on a Friday afternoon on Beale Street. What could go wrong. Hey Chicken F*cker (I don’t know if she reads this worthless dribble) – remember when you used to get Call A Cab’s delivered to the pool by your minions? It is amazing that you gials graduated from Rhodes and we didn’t go into liver failure.

img_0399Here is where Rocky at Alex’s Tavern and Josh may fight because both say they are the oldest family owned bar/tavern in the city. I am not getting into the middle of this fight, I love both joints.

img_0400So Happy that this place is Non-Smoking now! Great to see Max knocking the cover off of the ball with this joint!

img_0401Big Spoon/Little Spoon – What goes on in Vegas and in Woodlawn stays in Vegas and Woodlawn. #Idonotcarethatyouhaveacramp #youaregoingtodie

img_0405Love me some Melzie W!

img_0432RAB rocking the old department store label!

img_0422Just about to enter the Matrix and show off her Elaine dancing skills. Great to see you A-Cups! You and ‘The Carol’ need to come up again! Just after March 30th!

img_0446So let me get this straight – I fill this out ‘right’ and I won’t be called for jury duty?
But if I fill it out ‘wrong’ then I get picked and get to hang with the troglodytes of New York?
Hey Big Al – What’s your mailing address?

img_0443Happy Fat Tuesday!

img_0447We kept on wondering why Maya was chewing up all of our stuff. Then we realized that she had destroyed all of her toys. A quick trip to Petco and Maya is a happy dog. Maddy – She couldn’t give 2 F*cks!

Have a good weekend!

Be kind to each other this weekend.

Taking my ish on the road this weekend. I may be hooked up to the last picture by the time you finish reading this.

img_0348I ‘know’ a guy who has the same name and it didn’t get me anywhere on National Margarita Day!

img_0345So that is why traffic is jacked up

img_0343Not sure what they were shooting but it wasn’t Law & Order. Sorry A Cup

img_0185Funeral Mass procession

img_0189Me – “You got an Asian Fireman working today?” Fireman who about pissed himself because I ripped open the back door – “That Sorry SOB hasn’t worked in forever. He must be on the AB plan!”

img_0361Thanks to little baby sister for the V-Day gift. Better than a gold dipped rose!

vodkaGood thing I know a Baby Nurse and a Spinal Nurse who live downtown. They can hook me up to this Friday afternoon. I would ask my wife but her ass left me for Mickey Mouse !

Have a good weekend!

Hey Kid…..

Bonus post today considering that it is Super Bowl Sunday. Ahh yes the only day of year where eating your face off on wings, pizza, and cheese dip is perfectly acceptable while downing a gallon of beer. Since I really don’t have a NFL team that I call my own. I mean I do pull for the Jets over the Giants because they are the Cubs of the NFL. But what I do care for on Super Bowl Sunday is the score was because I got money on a couple of football boards.

Football boards are as American as Apple Pie and Facebook debates on if the president is doing a great job or not. When I was in Memphis pretty much every bar that I would frequent would have one for the ‘big game’ and pay in was typically a buck to 20 dollars depending on the establishment. I remember back in the day when Rocky would have the 100.00 board and you thought of that as big money. They would have payouts at the end of each quarter but still the chance to win 2K was always fun.

Moving up here betting is on steroids. Not only do they have 5 dollar boards they also have hundred dollar, thousand dollar, two thousand dollar and yep even a ten thousand dollar board. There is a rumor that one of the big investment banking firms downtown has a million dollar board but I haven’t confirmed this. The cigar joint that I frequent has a couple of them and rather than pay out after each quarter they pay out at the end. Talk about a nice day at the track, who wouldn’t want to win 10K on a stupid football game? (psst – don’t tell Mrs. Trumpet but I am in on that board and even splitting another square with a buddy of mine)

Even my boss gets in on the action. Now gambling is frowned upon at the tour bus company but she was getting in on some action for her son’s baseball team for a fund raiser called 50-50. She wasn’t too sure where to pick her square so I told her that she should either go 4 across and 3 down for her birthday (same as mine I might add) or go X across and 10 down because she is hitting a big birthday this year. Both squares were already taken so I suggested she put her anniversary date.

So for me, I really don’t give 2 shits on who wins the game, well yes I do. I want the Falcons to win just because everybody up here hates the Patriots. But all I want is for the final score to be with the last numbers to be Falcons 3 and the Patriots 9. That way we will be getting paid at Baker Street. Also I hope that Jo’s numbers come in too because she went BIG BALLS and is playing the 2K buy in at the pub across the street from Baker Street.  Me I get a text from AS who works at SP and he asked me if I wanted in on a 1K board. Thankfully the squares were sold out before I could talk Justin in half with me. ?

0409501001484255879_filepickerDid you know that there is more money wagered on the Coin toss than the whole game?

img_0262-1 5K payout if we win! Hell to the yes!

Have a good day and don’t be a P word and call in sick tomorrow. Nobody likes a quitter!

Congrats to ABG and Kato!

 My apologies because this was to have been posted 2 weeks ago but a bad home wireless junction box and my travels prevented this post from being published. You probably have heard me make mention or seen posts about my exploits as a Carnie. To describe it to someone who never has experienced this type of event work it probably could said best by my old boss Jack D. “It is the best of times and it is the worst of times, all at the same time!” You learn a lot about yourself and those who you work with when you are sleep deprived, stressed to a breaking point, sunburned and in need of a shower. Sometimes you are thankful that it is raining so that “you can’t tell if those are tears streaming down your face or just rain.” 
I had ‘gone into battle’ with the above named 4 times when I was living in Memphis. It was the first year of doing a corporate sponsorship at WCBCC that we were finishing up on Saturday night when it dawned on me something was up. They wanted to stay in the park to go have a drink in a neighboring BBQ tent instead of leaving with the group and ride on the golf cart to our cars. One of the employees asked why they wanted to stay in the park considering we logged 80 hours in 5 days. I remarked “Dude you didn’t see it after being in the park for 4 nights? They are in love.” Needless to say, he didn’t think that I figured it out that quickly. I told that employee that when you put that much stress on a person you can a lot of mannerisms that normally are guarded. That and I caught them kissy facing each other in the trailer one morning.  
I have known AB and Kato for a while and I love them both to death. Sure, there were sometimes we didn’t see eye to eye on occasion but we kissed and made up, carnie love makes one do that. That and if Kato ever screws it up, I know “a guy” and one phone call is all it takes! I do kid. Congrats on your marriage and new life in Eastern TN. Don’t be a stranger and you are always welcome up here in NYC anytime you want. Kato just to let you know; you can’t drive the put-put dirt bike up here so you will have to fly up here instead.

292266_10150899893804928_305584740_nI took them into Tom Lee Park as Children and they emerged Carnies! God I am bloated!

amandaAmanda, you need to make it look pretty. If Kato and I do the display it will look like shit!

975414_10151744259864928_1108921178_nKato – “Why don’t you spray Robo with Sunscreen too?”
CBT – “Dude she is your girlfriend, and I have my ridiculous floppy hat!”

1239490_10203733925817175_3954891357311362098_nI think this was before the storms set in and a chill came over Tom Lee Park. It has to be early in the week, we were still smiling!

yepI bet you sent Trip and invite to the wedding didn’t you?

img_2461Oh and Amanda, I still have the video from WCBCC12 at Bar 595!

Love you both!

Been kinda Bizzy!

Stop yelling at me ok? I get it that I am a slacker and haven’t written in a week. I could give you this sob story about how I am banging out a bunch of hours on the new job. Or that since Momma is pledging her sorority at NYU I have taken up the duty of cooking the evening meals. That on Sunday when I normally bust out a lot of these stories on the laptop but the internet was jacked up.  It certainly couldn’t be that I went to the West Side to drink Whisky and smoke cigars with The Banker. Nah it wasn’t that one, not at all.  let’s get you back up to speed shall we?

Yes, last week I was back in Memphis for selling tickets class for the Tour Bus company and I really didn’t have much time to play. I did some networking, I caught up with my former admin who now lives in Memphis and lived out off of Hack Cross Road for the week. I did ‘sneak’ downtown on Sunday and got to see some folks but this trip was so busy I didn’t sound the alarm so sorry if I didn’t see everyone. We will be back at Christmas so clear your calendar. Anyway here are some pictures that I had on my iFoam so here they are in no particular order. Yes they are way out of order too.

img_5525Those damned South Main Hipsters with their ManBuns……Oh wait sorry Gardo!

img_5533Your Father is an Eagles Fan, your mommy is a Cowboys fan…Let’s piss them all off shall we Lisa Marie? Let’s make you a JETS fan!

img_5534The Dog is thinking – “Who is this Northern Fecker who knocked on my door and camped out on my patio smoking a cigar?”

img_5542That kid is going to be alright. Already camping out under the bar on a busy Wednesday night.

img_5543So good to see these two!

img_5545I will admit that I miss the Memphis News a little.

img_5558Made a trip on the Q Train to Park Slope and walked by the Russian House in Neon

img_5559Congrats to Mr. 3 first names on getting a new title with the NYFD. We are proud of you and hope you will be in the UES!

img_5568Forgot to hit Send on this on Saturday. Thankfully we had Whisky Club on Sunday.

img_5517Still got to use these on Sunday night. Anyone else have keys to a bar in Memphis? I do….at least until Momma changed the lock.

I am off to Boston this afternoon to celebrate my Aruba Wife’s anniversary of circling the sun 50 times. Have a good weekend and I promise to do better.