Good Friends

Hey CBT, I got something for you….

That was a text message that I got from LJZ last week.

****Disclaimer, I was in a foul mood that afternoon. Seriously, I would have just as soon masturbated with a cheese grater than visit the home office during business hours that day. Regardless, I pulled up my socks, put on a fresh smile, and agreed to swing by to get “said gift.” When I arrived I found out that my boss was there…..I found out that her boss was there……I found out that her wanted-her-to-be boss was there..

Seriously, I would have just as soon sat in the backseat of an un-air conditioned station wagon between two 15 month olds kids in car seats sucking on pixie sticks of sugar than be there. Did I mention that I was on a 14 hour road trip to Florida and said kids hadn’t been out of those chairs for 7 hours? It was that bad of a day for me.

Hopefully I have given you enough imagery to tell you how pissed I was that fateful day when LJZ asked me to come to the home office for a gift she made for me.

IMG_2953This was the gift that LJZ gave me. *SECOND DISCLAIMER – No I don’t use elicit drugs, I got 99 other problems than this one. (booze, beer and cigars are still ok right?)

IMG_2962I was floored. I loved it!

The fact that LJZ cross-stitched this in the airport on a work trip makes gift so much more special. Oh what is the big deal about “Not Doing Coke in our Bathroom” you ask? (see next picture and comment)

img_0267This is the original cross-stitch that sits at a bar a couple of steps away from our soon to be former apartment and we have a funny story about it. I guess Shobo and I need to go back into the bar business.

HEY RJ – You listening…… #NextYearCoozie

For those of you who are wondering what storyline you missed please don’t read to much into this post. I appreciate this gift for a many reasons.

Thank you LJZ you really are a treat!

 

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Spring Like Weather and Then Hurricane Tucker

Hope you guys had a fun weekend. I am sure that there a some of you in Memphis who didn’t heed my warning on Twitter and blew it out hard at Rajun Cajun yesterday. Here is to hoping that your hands aren’t shaking too bad as you read this. Finally the weather broke on Friday and Saturday till 5PM. It actually was ‘bead of sweat’ warm on Friday as I joked with the doormen that people will probably be bitching about the heat. Saturday didn’t disappoint until the front moved in and it got chilly on our ride home from Brooklyn.

Friday I got home and we had our Midwestern friend Tucker heading in from New Jersey. She was across the Hudson for work training and decided to spend an evening with us and fly out Saturday. This was just fine with us as we knew we were in for a full fun night. Since she was rolling into town I was able to find 3 tickets to Losers Lounge Friday night as they were giving tribute to “The Last Waltz.” We met up at the apartment and then had dinner at a Geoffrey Zakarian joint in Midtown East.

If you have been paying attention you will know that I have been doing some juice cleansing and clean eating. Well that shit came to a tumbling halt on Friday as I switched over from green grass and tree bark drinks to Potato based liquid and what the hell. I got me a GZ burger and added bacon to it too! The show didn’t disappoint and the post show drinks were good (?) and before Tucker’s hair could deflate she was headed to LGA.

Saturday we went over to Downtown Brooklyn to check out apartments and had drinks with lady barrister since Mr. 3 First Names was out of town.  Walking into The Commissioner was warm and sunny and temps in the 70’s. Walking out the bottom dropped out of the bottom and it was around 50 with a good wind. Thankfully we had some jet fuel in us but that walk to the subway was brutal!

IMG_2970Sadly I never saw the movie and the second act didn’t dissapoint

IMG_2968Yep all the favorite were preforming tonight

IMG_2965But first lets take a selfie!

IMG_2980Yep he did a Van Morrison song and for those of you wondering that is the same person who sang George Micheal

national-gallery-images-7The interior of GZ’s National – Nice dinner

untitledPretty much it starts out nice here then goes downhill very soon afterwards!

IMG_2986More on this later but we went to Downtown Brooklyn on Saturday

 

Thanks for a fun weekend Tucker and hope everyone behaved this weekend. Its going to be a shitty couple of days up here weather wise.

Pictures of the Week

Hope you had a good week. It is supposed to be actually warm today with a high in the low 70’s! Of course my arse is going to be in a training this morning and Hurricane Tucker rolls into town this afternoon. Here are pictures from a couple of weeks back. Have a good weekend, we are heading over to Downtown Brooklyn to check things out and maybe see the Lady Barrister.

IMG_2928So what that I have a diet rich in salted meats, cheese and you have to unhinge your jaw to get this thing in your mouth. (That’s what she said)

IMG_2942Oh look here is where Mrs. Trumpet goes to everyday

IMG_2908Great bar on the West Side and when you walk in it is like you stepped into a time machine

IMG_2910I am sure a penthouse on 5th Avenue overlooking Central Park isn’t that expensive. Lets buy two!

IMG_2946So I decided to do a little Juice Cleanse to “study” for my blood test for my yearly physical. Shout out to my cousin for suggesting this Bermuda grass and Tree Bark company.

IMG_2950Actually it isn’t as bad as one would think. Expensive and I am having some wild food cravings but I guess it will pay off.

IMG_2932Of course when you go Vegetarian (stop Laughing Amy Farrah Fowler) you do start cramping up so I suggest you get a couple bottles of this life saver. HEY AJ – Get these ready for the bar would you?

Have a good weekend

 

What do you do when you circle the Sun 48 times?

You celebrate it just like you came into this world: Naked, Confused, and Hungry.

One of the positive things about Facebook is that Facebook Birthdays ARE FRIGGIN AWESOME! I have been having a love/hate with this social media platform as of late but to all those who sent me a message (even some of inappropriate ones) I appreciate you and them!

So for this birthday I decided to cash in on one of my personal days and I am really glad I did because the weather sucked balls. I started the day off by heading over to the West Side for some work shoe shopping. Following that I decided to pamper myself and got myself a “Royale Shave” from my barber Mark. I figure that I started shaving around 14ish so 34 years is about time to have someone else give you a decent shave and hold a straight razor at your neck. For those of you who are wondering what all this is, it is pretty much a facial but with a shave. Any my face feels fabulous!

When you have a 48 year old face that feels like a baby’s butt after a shave what do you do then? Why you get a cheeseburger at Finnegan’s Wake! I have heard ramblings that this Irish UES joint in addition to serving a proper pint of Guinness also has a great burger. It didn’t disappoint.

To finish out the afternoon I headed up to Adult Daycare on E73rd street where I was welcomed by some of the boys while we watched the Yankees Home Opener. I smoked a $30 dollar stick, drank a Nespresso and busted balls with the best of them.

I assure you that a Royale Shave, Burger from Finnegan’s Wake and fancy cigar and all of your shout outs was the best damn birthday I have ever had! Thank you!

Oh and I have 2 more years on the warranty until I have to start to find a General Practice doc who has the smallest hands in Manhattan! Anyone got the number of “The ASSMAN”?

MW40_40ZC_03_COLE_HAAN_BROWN_SETI got to be hip is what they told my old ass today at the shoe store. They look funny and my former boss is laughing at me right now!

best-world-wide-barber-Old-School-Barbershop-tattoo-ink-Gdynia-PolandLie back and have a hot towel on your face while you DGAF > a good day at work

5887911559_7c6b1da84b_o.0We drank here one time and for some reason it didn’t click. Granted half of the patrons are old(er) than us but they serve some good food here.

IMG_2912Disclaimer – I attempted to get a full Pastrami sandwich but I forgot that it was RAB’s holiday!

IMG_2914Cigar Inn on a cold rainy afternoon with the boys watching the Yankees Game while smoking a $30 stick and (allegedly Embargoed) cigar from a country that is 90 miles from our border KICKS THE ASS OF YOUR DAY!

IMG_2907I miss my favorite Mixologist who is older than me by 1 day. This was the greatest!

Again Thank You for all the E-Mails, Texts, Calls and Obscene videos!

Happy Easter Spud! CBT, Mrs. CBT, EGP & Cali-SAB went to Easter Service.

Some of you are expecting an off the cuff comment but let me stop you right now. We went to Catholic Mass on Easter Sunday. Let me say it again for those of you who are in disbelief….. Carbunkle Trumpet Esquire attended High Catholic Mass on Easter Sunday.

What I have failed to mention to you for those of you who are still reading and not in complete disbelief please follow along… We attended church at The Church of St. John Nepomucene down the street from where we live. Were you not raised Roman Catholic or have Brother Joel McGraw for class let me help you again. John Neopomucene was the patron of Czechoslovakia, where he is invoked against floods and against slander.

No big deal right? Well make sure you don’t slurp your morning coffee for this next paragraph. The High Mass that EGP, Cali-SAB, Mrs. Trumpet and I attended was said in the Slavic language. Yes for an hour and a half we sat in full Catholic Mass not knowing a spoken word that was being said. Put it this way, EGP leans over in my direction and mouth whispers; Whisky Tango Foxtrot!  Regardless of the fact that we didn’t know any of the responses or were too petrified we did find out that we were in the company of the Arch Bishop who led this service.

Yep we had the Big Brass for the Slovakian Mass. What did you do on Easter Sunday?

197A5221-Version-3Here is the Church on First Avenue at 66th Street. Didn’t THIS BLOG POST back when we were on our way to the bar and ran into The Pope. This happens to be the church we stood by when he rolled by.

HOLYWEEKNote the Easter Sunday, April 1st service and see the 10:15 offering…Yep Full Slovak Mass I guess we should have paid attention to that.

IMG_9072But we saw The Pope almost 2.5 years ago from this church and walked by it a million times to go see Andi, Jo and Ryan at Baker Street and never did we think to take a look at the mass times….

 

Happy Easter!

Whisky Tango Foxtrot Carbunkle?

Stop yelling at me, you are probably going to see fewer posts between now and the middle of May. No I am not doing some weird Post Lent purge, momma is nearing the end of her NYU Grad School so the laptop is in full use. Anyway we really haven’t been doing much as of late *BECAUSE IT HAS BEEN SO FUCKING COLD* I mean seriously, we have had 4 Nor’Easters and this Sunday is the start of Seersucker Suit Season!

I do have a future coffee shop blog post/rant about 4 C-Word Upper East Side hard working housewives as I sat next to them at 80th and Lexington. Let’s just say that they might as well have been wearing tennis skirt outfits and or Lulumon leggings as pants. This past weekend was kinda lame but we have new iFoams and it only took me 5 hours to get that done on Sunday.

And as we know this week is Holy Week or as Julian Maile from Losers Lounge said on Good Friday last year “So Jesus died today but he will be back in 3 days. Pretty much anything goes!”

Happy Easter Folks!

IMG_2863When we do get out of our cages we do come up on some really cool shit! This is Grand Central Station as we were walking with my Work Wife (the Domestic One) so she could catch her train home.

IMG_2862The Real and the Domestic One! S/O to the Bar, International, Memphis and HW/AMF wives.

IMG_2856I mean seriously folks! This was taken last Thursday. I saw that the folks in Memphis were bitching about it being hot.

IMG_2858I seriously laughed out so loud that I had scalding hot espresso come out my nose.

IMG_0924Easter for the longest time was always trips down to Destin. I do miss some Peeps Jousting! IMG_2872

Happy Easter Spud!

And to quote RAB – “I can’t wait for you to tell me on Sunday that the bread is ready!”

A Grizz Game, Cigars on Tuesday, A Nor’Easter and by the way Its Only Thursday

“So is this a normal week for you guys?” That is what #2429 asked while we were belly up at the Juice bar this past evening.

#2431 replied in his best Southern/New York accent; “Well not really, it is quite odd that we have 4 Nor’easter’s in is as little 1 month.”

If you are wondering what those numbers mean, I will be glad to tell you but I will have to kill you. I really don’t want to do that because I just put a deposit on a condo south of the Mason Dixon Line and I do hate to waste money…….and beer.

So being that today is Thursday or as we call it Day 3 of Spring (kiss my ass you effin Groundhog) we have done a lot so far.  Monday our Grizzlies were playing Brooklyn and let me tell you, that game was depressing.

Tuesday I decided since we were going to have bad weather on Wednesday I decided to retreat to Adult Men’s Daycare The Cigar Inn and hung out while Mrs. Trumpet was at school.

Wednesday on the day of the Nor’easter we saw the deterioration of the weather with first rain, then sleet, snow and the wind that could suck start a Cumming Diesel engine. Let me tell you, I am ready for some nice weather this spring.

IMG_2850The either snickered at my scarf or felt sorry for me on Monday.

IMG_2851It really is pretty arena given that the acoustics suck.

IMG_2852Hung at the American Express suite for a while during pre-game.

IMG_2824Really? Again? Go home Salt Truck You are Drunk!

 

BBKw0eaYeah there were no flights on Wednesday

IMG_7676Any short jokes and I will call “my guy” and have this taken care of!

Have a good day!

Carbunkle O’Trumpet’s St. Patrick’s Day Report

Don’t get your hopes up folks, we were pretty tame on the Feast Day Celebration of St. Patrick. We started off with a traditional Irish fare of Corned Beef and Cabbage, Fish and Chips and naturally Guinness Beer. Mrs. Trumpet was able to join in the full shenanigans this year since it fell on a Saturday. Lady Barrister, UWS Holly, Holly’s friend and us started the afternoon at 5 Mile Stone in the UES. The joint was packed and after we ate we promptly headed to St. Ignatius Loyola grade school for some ‘merriment’.

First of all a huge thank you to the Asian Fireman, Mr. 3 First Names, The Gnome Lover, Skippy, My UConn Twitter Buddy and others for the hospitality and spending time with you guys on your holiday. The drinks were flowing and I even nibbled on some Irish Soda Bread (that wasn’t as bad as I thought) and we got to enjoy some Kitchen Beer towards the end of the evening.

IMG_2838Once Again I peeped the Band from the warmth of a bar. It doesn’t make you a bad person folks

IMG_2839Yeah Liam doesn’t look to happy walking on 5th Ave

29342288_10160367060855599_4058328705326894732_nAll Hail Caesar! FYI Can you see over Skippy’s head? Yep they had a small electrical fire at the school so they called in one of the only sober engine companies to investigate. Talk about pressure they never had 200 folks tell them they were doing it wrong!

29313302_10160364266510599_98311120442347841_nThe Band circling up

IMG_2843What can I say, those boys like to drink some beer.

IMG_2849What is a Saint Patricks Day without an Irish Car Bomb? This was taken on Sunday at Allie Way and no this wasn’t ours.

Hope you had a great weekend and are not reading this from your attorney’s office because your dumbass got a DUI.

 

 

Yeah, Yeah, Yeah I know – Bonus Tuesday Post!

I am guessing that some of you are wanting a refund because I am blogging so infrequently these days. With all due respect when we don’t do much on the weekend it really doesn’t make for good blog material. Last week Momma was busy with a work trip and I had a training downtown so we really didn’t do much that weekend. Now this past weekend we didn’t do much but I was able to get out and about a tad.

Anyway here are some bonus pictures on a Tuesday

IMG_2759Got to Love Thomas Keller and his joints here and on the Left Coast. This was posted at “the pass” at his French Laundry restaurant.

IMG_2765Already spoke to my Mermaid Parade Date for this year. She is going to bring out the crown again!

IMG_2781Look at the focus that Red Dog has right now. What you don’t see is that Mrs. Trumpet has a slice of cheese in her hand. Maya is a cheese whore to say the least.

IMG_2777Why am I on Brain Detail?

IMG_2758Sent this to A-Cup because not only is it a damn shame that they make vegan hot dogs but that someone is going to spend $6.00 on this is a real shame. I guess cardboard is expensive.

Have a good day!

Man Time Flies

One of the only redeeming qualities of Facebook these days is the “On this date” part where you can see what you posted on this day for up to 10 years. On the 5th year of this past week we were across the pond for our good Friend’s wedding. Yep Papua New Guinea Mike and Claire were married 5 years ago this past week. Naturally we wished him congratulations and a text thread started with a couple of the boys. I didn’t want to remind anyone but in the past 5 years the following have occurred;

  • RJ & Mallory sell the Flophouse to Jenna
  • We sell 595 to RJ & Mallory
  • We then move to New York to drink with the Asian Fireman & Mr. 3 First Names and be an hour from Pepe.
  • RJ & Mallory go to +2
  • The Asian Fireman and the Real Estate Tycoon can’t be outdone and go to +3
  • Pepe and D3 go to +1
  • PNG Mike – MAKE SURE THAT CLAIRE DOESN’T DRINK THE WATER!!!!! Mrs. Trumpet has been drinking bottled water for the past 5 years.

734287_10151619122299928_599437964_nKegs and Eggs with the Lads. See all those Dark Liquid Glasses that are in front of everyone. That is English Coffee.

IMG_2766Right after that the Bar decided it was “Last Orders” because the Americans were swinging an invisible jump rope.

482274_10151634510739928_890101125_nIf you see this man and he says “Lets do a shot” you run like hell!

554896_10151634511129928_1783965562_nOh Look PNG Mike “Iced” down some beer for us.

526799_10151634511054928_1136011644_nMike and Clarie’s English Garden – We will put in an outdoor bar at the fenceline!

555064_10151634511259928_589787889_nI am only posting this so that the Asian Fireman and his wife can save it and we can torment Wee Fiona when she gets older and starts to date.

10554965_10152729330539928_1140361562_nBack when all 3 of these boys weren’t procreating.

I think that we need a return trip to Big Smoke soon. Anyone up for a field trip?