Good Friends

Where do you come up with these names?

Sorry for the delay in posting. I was busy last week because we had a long weekend to the Midwest for a wedding and I am getting back into the swing of things. Oh that and Mary Louise is +13 hours ahead of me in Japan so I am running this household all by myself. What pisses me off is that Mary Louise won’t tell me the Final Jeopardy answers since she is a day ahead of me. I hate to tell RJ but I think that she has found a new Sushi Buddy.

While we were in the Midwest this past weekend I had a couple of my readers of this worthless dribble ask me; “Where do you come up with the names of the people you interact with?” Naturally I “change the names to protect the innocent or non-sober” but some of the Mo-Ho’s were asking me how I created their names. Let me give you some insight into some of the players you read on this worthless dribble;

  • Mary Louis/Mrs. Trumpet – Thanks To Vivian Longstreet, she penned this because it is her soap opera name. She is also a perfume designer.
  • Maria – She keeps her name because she is my trusted consigliere and quite frankly she knows where all the bodies are buried. Seriously, has anyone seen Trucker Jim or Box of Rocks lately? I rest my case.
  • The Work Wife, The International One – Well she is a work friend and that is what she does
  • The Work Wife, The Domestic One – Currently Vacant
  • The Work Wife, The Managing One – See “Work Wife, The Domestic One” because she got a promotion.
  • The Asian Fireman – Well his last name is Lee so you do the math here.
  • Mr. 3 First Names – What can I say, this Staten Island resident has 3 first names in his first and last names.
  • Lady Barrister/Landlord – It is what she does and she is the landlord to Mr 3 first names
  • Z Squared – Couples name for 2 people whose last names start with Z (this isn’t rocket science folks)
  • UWS Holly – Someone names Holly who may live in the Upper West Side?
  • Baby Fine Hair (Haven’t spoken about her lately) but this person uses a shampoo that is specifically for people with Baby Fine hair. Hey it is better than me calling her “Person with a Mongoloid Foot Tattoo”!

Now this past weekend at this wedding we attended a new nickname was created. No it wasn’t from my (So in need of therapy) brain. It was from her own Flesh and Blood…..

With that, and I will do a proper blog post on the wedding and weekend. Congrats to Baby Fine Hair and Kristina on their wedding this past weekend!!!!

IMG_4270Hey don’t blame me Kiki (what I used to call Kristina before this weekend) blame your brother! Congrats and we were so happy to share with you your special day!

For those of you who weren’t in St. Louis the Celebrant (the bride on the left’s brother) when announcing the names of the newly married instead of saying K—n inserted his own wife’s name, Kristina, by mistake. Me I am going to roll with it!

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Pictures of the Week – Heading into the 3 day weekend!

Loves and Kisses to our friends heading to Dale Hollow this weekend. We love you guys and Fuck Charlie!

55693598682__A579D5F1-0E57-41AA-BD9D-8C19BB1DF5F4This joint in Baltimore is a good one!

IMG_4102To say it was hot in New York on Wednesday is an understatement.

IMG_4092Next time we are going to visit this joint! We had brunch reservations and couldn’t go in.

IMG_4084Who knew my old roomate from 742 Storer was holding out on me

IMG_4094The guys at 1300 First Ave missed us. Well they missed Shobo and tolerated me.

IMG_4085What the hell is that on my beer can?

IMG_4072Ashley Bonds is snickering at me right now.

IMG_4075Love a David Bowie Quote above the bar

IMG_4083Baltimore has a unique feel to it with the Row Houses and the NOLA courtyards

IMG_4077This speaks to me!

Hope you have a good weekend.

 

The Trumpets Got Crabs Last Weekend

Well that should get your attention if you are reading this not fully awake this morning. Get your mind out of the gutter you sick Fecks. We went to Baltimore on Amtrak this past weekend and we had a blast. Not only did we over indulge on shellfish and other goodies we got to spend time with some former Memphians too! Yep we got to see Baltimore BjorkSue, The Good Doctor, and baby Elvis and we got to hang out with my former Bar wife and her husband too!

We arrived night via Amtrak and let me tell you how great it really as compared to air travel. Arrive anytime before your train departs, coach seats are as nice as First Class, you can retreat to the quiet car if you like. The Bar Car opens right after the train takes off and you have power outlets all over the place. Seriously, no wonder Former VP Joe Biden prefers it over air or car travel.

Last weekend we took in a bit of culture and visited a Rye Bourbon distillery. Baltimore at one time was the largest Rye distillery in the country as Rye was used to replenish the soil from Tobacco farming. Afterwards we got to ‘bust up some crabs’ at Nicks on the water and again ate our asses off. That evening we dined in Little Italy and had some drinks afterward in the Pirate section of Baltimore. We will be back! Baltimore is a fun time!

 IMG_4066He is going to break hearts I tell you! Wait till he gets the drum set that Tio Robo sends him for Christmas!

IMG_4082Next time we are going to order the Large Crabs, They were good!

IMG_4069Was in Baltimore roughly 43 hours and we ate that many oysters too!

IMG_4068Delaware Bay and Salt Pond were the best!

IMG_4071Roughly I ate my weight in Lobster too!

IMG_4078We got to taste some of the goods at Sagamore Spirit. FYI – The White Rye tastes like it should be in Mason Jar.

IMG_4104Out front before the tour.

IMG_4105Love the old pics on the wall at the Distillery

IMG_4106View While busting up some Crabs!

IMG_4088No this isn’t church. This was Sunday Brunch.

IMG_4090I do love Sunday Brunch!

Again it was great to see everyone and hang out. We will be back for sure!

We are caught in a Trap….in Westbury Long Island

A couple weeks back Maria asked us if we wanted to go to the ETA (That is Elvis Tribute Artist) show at the Westbury Theater in Long Island. My first questions were; “Where the hell is Westbury, and how do we get there?” We took the LIRR from the Atlantic Station (again it is so nice not having to go into Penn if we don’t have to) to the Jamaica station and made a transfer. Bill and Maria picked us up from the station and we made a quick drive to the theater.

I have to say that I was impressed with the venue and the line up. Granted it is geared towards the older crowd but the future line up includes; Wayne Newton, Smoky Robinson, Paul Anka and some others. As Maria said to us, Wayne Newton is someone on the list that you have to see before they die. Why do you think that I always go see Jerry Lee Lewis when he would play at MIM BSMF.

The crowd was into it. I gathered that there were a bunch of those in attendance who were in Memphis last weekend and then came back to Long Island to catch the show. Lots of Elvis and Graceland gear in the lobby. This years act was a full piece band and the ETA who were preforming were Cody Ray Slaughter and Shawn Klush who were big ETA winner either from BBC or Elvis Presley Enterprises. They played all the hits and were great with the crowd giving them what the King would done if he were still alive.

IMG_4032Suspicious Minds

IMG_4026Jumpsuit Elvis was a hit!

IMG_4020Poke Salad Annie

IMG_4016Viva Las Vegas

IMG_4022Mom why is everyone wanting my picture and this thing itches!

It was a good time in Long Island.

Friday Round Up

Tough day yesterday for the Music Industry. Not only was it the 41st anniversary of the death of The King (if you don’t know who that is then we can’t be friends) but Aretha Franklin died yesterday. On the evening of the Candlelight vigil I texted my two fellow Elvis fans and we watched “The Highwaymen”. God Help us when we lose Willie Nelson. That will not be a good day.

Oh and Congrats to Queens Bully’s Chef Melvin “Boots” Johnson on his win on the Memphis version of Chopped. He edged out my friend Ernie Mellor and we plan on getting over that way in the near future to try his food out.

Here are some pictures from the past week;

IMG_3988The Lady Killer on his first day of school. Don’t you just want to pinch those cheeks of his?

IMG_3981Momma Don’t Babies Grow Up to be Cowboys

IMG_3954You never know who will jump over that wall and come see us!

IMG_3993One of the many Street Tributes to the King!

IMG_3992You can almost feel the heat coming from this ETA from being in Memphis in August, the unforgiving of polyester to breathe and from being with 2 hot ladies

IMG_3984Love ya Mel!

IMG_3957This could almost be us with this Ad

IMG_3989The golden rule is “If it tastes bland or doesn’t have Grease or Cheese on it then it must be good for you.”

Have a good weekend. We got to a ETA tribute in Westbury this weekend.

Do this tonight! Don’t make me call your mother or punch you in the throat

Tonight is the “Memphis Style BBQ Edition”of Chopped Grill Masters. My good friend and owner of A Moveable Feast/Hog Wild BBQ Catering Company, Ernie Mellor, is competing against 3 other Pitmasters in a chance to win over 50K in prize money. The show comes on the Food Network and is 9 Eastern/8 Central Tuesday, August 14, 2018.

*Disclaimer – I don’t know any more than you do if he wins or loses. All I knew was when he came up to Manhattan back in early March.

Ernie Mellor ChoppedGet em Ernie! Do us proud!

Best of luck to him tomorrow. We will be cheering for you from Crime-Free Brooklyn.

Lay off Fuckers! I have been busy!

Welcome to another Sunday Evening post from Carbunkle Trumpet/Paul Allen where he may (or may not) have been enjoying some Sunday Funday while he was compiling this.  Anyway I have still have a couple posts brewing and I will do better this week but here are some pics I have that I can share with you;

moments_08_03_18_03_32These are the faces of people who were tormenting me last week. I will get you all back, I promise.

IMG_3950Booze may or may not have been drank at this joint this week. TQ you were missed. Next time!

IMG_3933Note to Self – NEVER EVER EVER FUCKING PISS OFF NOVA! Seriously this is some funny shit and I will wear it on occasion up here in Liberal New York!

IMG_3948Yes I posted the same pic again from the Featured Picture! Congrats to my Bar Wife on getting gainful employment up here in the North East! I can’t wait to hear her bitch about the winters up here. She doesn’t know what she is in for up here.

And yes folks it is Elvis Week! *EP gets his own billing*

IMG_3946Always impressive

IMG_3902Again I am not on a Fucking BBQ Team! By the way to my 21 readers – please tune into the Food Network on Tuesday night for the BBQ Edition of Chopped. I happen to know “A Guy” on that show!

IMG_3928These two may be the reason that I didn’t post much last week. Love them both to death but never get into a Vodka Drinking contest with them. Nobody will win!

Have a good week and I promise I will do better this week.

 

CBT!

Strike up the Band We have lived on these Rocks for 3 years!

Wow! Another Year has come to pass and yet here I am still banging away on this laptop. I celebrate this milestone because I haven’t gotten hit by that crosstown bus or fallen ass over teacup down a bilco door. Sadly, I celebrate this 3rd birthday solo while right now Mary Louise is heading on a Ferry to another island down in Mexico with the MoHo’s. No I am not bitter about this one bit. I promise.

In her absence I have been writing this post in my head for a couple of days and I  have to say how humble I am that we are still plugging along in a city that could possibly eat us alive. I have always said that there are two things here in The Empire State that I always run out of; time and money. This year has been a whirlwind and I can’t believe it has been 3 years from when we rolled up to 1300 First Avenue and emptied our contents into the UES. This year there have been some major changes to our lives this year and l have always said that sometimes change is good.

In the past year some of our friends have also followed suit and made moves from familiar Memphis surroundings and dipped their toe into new cities and regions. I always tell them from our experiences that right now there may be tears of uncertainty but each day and week things will normalize and level out. I still look back and say to myself that if you told me 3 years and change that I would be living in New York and love each day of it I would have told you that you are crazy as hell. I am serious when I say that this was the best thing that we have done in our adult lives. The experiences and things that we have and continue to learn about have been amazing. Much like Anthony Bourdain told us on each show was that we need to explore and try out new things. Do the uncomfortable and you will be amazed at to what you learn and it will make you a richer person internally. I still miss that fucker. His story wasn’t finished.

People still ask me how I like living here I always tell them the same response. We love it and should have done this sooner. I am in no way dogging Memphis or our friends back there but Mary Louise and I always had an ‘explorer’ gene in us that was dying to get out. New York is a strange city and has a lot of people from many different walks of life. Much like a child we are always asking questions and seeking information. You know what we found out. They may be from a different country, have a different person that believe in or vote for but we are all children playing in the same sandbox and we better find a way to get along. Call me crazy but the first thing that I ask the yellow cab driver, after I tell them *in my best New York Accent*, is where they are from and “Tell me about yourself.” People love telling their story to strangers. There is a lot of pride in those words and I cherish each and every one.

While I sit here smoking a Perdomo stinking up my work laptop I recall all the things we did. They are in no particular order include;

  • Mary Louise completes and graduates with a MBA from NYU and this better complete her higher education quest. We don’t have any fucking room in closet for a Doctoral Robe and all that crap. (I am very proud of her for this)
  • Mary Louise takes a new job and a whole bunch of new responsibilities that I don’t doubt she will do great in.
  • Made a trip to Philly and got me an authentic Cheesesteak.
  • We moved from the Upper East Side to the Gritty Hipster streets of Downtown Brooklyn. That wasn’t easy folks, oh and moving sucks here in New York City.
  • One would think that downsizing from 1300 square feet to 535 square feet would be easy but try to move to another studio that is configured differently. Thankfully Ba made a trip to Brooklyn and helped us with the move.
  • I made Senior at my work so I am now a Senior Sales Rep for selling tourists tickets on those double decker buses.
  • We made a trip to Maine for Lobster.
  • We made a trip to the Riviera Maya of Mexico for a work counterparts wedding and made a one night trip over to Isla Mujeres in December.
  • Made a trip back home for Christmas and got to see our friends and family.
  • Had to check in on Kitty down in Belize in February and to get warmed up from the 4 Nor’easters we had this past winter.
  • Were honored to become Godparents for Willimena in April and now have another one who will possibly wipe our asses when we get older.
  • Reconnected with Vivian Longstreet and Stone and enjoyed a great weekend with them Upstate.
  • Had to make yet another trip to Mexico and insure that RJ and Mallory didn’t have tres children. (still unknown but we will see in 9 months if that was a success)
  • Mary Louise made a trip to The Hamptons while I smoked meat on Katonah Avenue in the Bronx.
  • Mary Louise currently is down in Mexico right now with the MoHo’s and will return on Monday.

Yep we had a blast on this island and on a couple other islands. Rather than collect stuff we have decided to collect memories and passport stamps. I am nearing 1000 words and will end with a quote that I always love. “Travel is the only thing that you buy that makes you richer”

IMG_2489Much like Black Eyed Peas and Greens on New Years day if you celebrate New Years eve wearing a Bowler hat you will have good luck. *taken 2 blocks from Times Square on NYE

IMG_1883New York Food and Wine Festival Event

IMG_1641Pipes and Drums Prom. Who knew that Mary Louise and Lady Barrister wore the same color dress.

IMG_0059Madison Square Garden Event – here Mary Louise is saying “W.T.C.B.F. Carbunkle Trumpet, LZ goes to all the good shows and you take my ass to a Collegiate Hockey match? You better step up your game and start bogarting the good tickets too!”

IMG_2151Funny I don’t hear her bitching about this one. Aboard the USS Intrepid for the Marine Corp’s Birthday Celebration

IMG_3427Willimena is going to be a handful I can already tell.

IMG_4024 (1)Who has 2 thumbs and completes her MBA from NYU in 2 years while working full time and interviews for a new job. This one! Seriously though. This is it for higher level education.

IMG_2821Right before we move out of the UES they open a bonafide Queso Mexican Restaurant Joint and we find a great Cajun place too! Thank God we have the Q Train!

IMG_3128Boerum Hill is pretty cool. If you walk across the street from our joint you are in Boerum Hill neighborhood. If you make a left and walk across Flatbush you are in Fort Greene. You walk 3 more blocks and you are in Park Slope. Confused yet?

IMG_1262So glad to see Kitty when she made a trip up to the Big Apple.

IMG_0501This is the face of a woman who is about to walk out into a friggin Northeast Nor’easter. 50 MPH Winds with below windchill temps and Snow. I ‘worked from home’ that day!

IMG_8491And here was the first pic when we moved in. 3 years later and we are still here and I may or may not be a liberal democrat.

Thanks for reading and for following this worthless dribble. Now pull that band-aid off and go out and make yourself richer and happy 3rd Anniversary to us!

Pictures of the Week

So the dogs are getting tired of me and we still have 4 more days till Mary Louise gets back from her “work” trips. I know that she will be glad to be back home and I have done a lot of chores this week getting the house ready for her arrival. Do you know how hard it is to clean a studio? Regardless, I plan on doing another post about enjoying Robopalooza but that is for another day. Here are some pictures that I didn’t post from Mexico and the past weeks.

IMG_4080Geranium approved this picture for me to post. She really hated Isla as you can tell.

IMG_3886Thanks to EGP and EGP’s Mom for the Shirt. I wore it the other day and forgot to snap a pic of me wearing it.

IMG_3883Forgot to snap a pic of the new Cole Slaw Dressing/Marinade

IMG_3870When the (Domestic) Work Wife’s midtown uniform vest wearing husband leaves his iFoam in the bathroom it gets a thorough cleaning, scrubbing, sterilizing and disinfecting.

IMG_3869If she had a Haz-Mat suit she would have worn it. Thankfully I had some gloves that I gave her. #Robocares

IMG_383038 years ago a movie about “a Cinderella story. Outta nowhere. A former greenskeeper, now, about to become the Masters champion. It looks like a mirac… It’s in the hole! It’s in the hole! It’s in the hole!” Came Out. And FRIGGIN LZ NEVER SAW IT! Guess what you are getting for your wedding LZ……

IMG_3824JP moves away from 501 and Ginger’s on 7th Ave closes. The Mighty Flynn (just coined that btw) leaves Leroy Street and then this joint closes. I am afraid if SP moves on then Down the Hatch will close.

IMG_3820You should always look over your shoulder when traveling abroad. You never know who you will run into. Yep going Left to Right we have – New York, New Orleans, New York, Memphis, and Memphis. So great to see the old Memphis Mafia.

IMG_3810Monkey Head Maddy is starting to resemble a predecessor Tiny Toy Poodle that my parents had by the name of Gigi. She loved sleeping in-front of the Refrigerator. Of course back in the day that Avocado side by side had an exhaust at the bottom that kept Gigi warm. Maddy is just lazy and lays out wherever she wants to.

IMG_3721Hey Work Wife – Down in Front!

IMG_3841Don’t feed the PorkOsaurus Web Master

IMG_3772I really am going to be pissed if Mary Louise Geranium and The Mo-Ho’s visit Isla Mujeres on Sunday. And if they get Breakfast Pizza and have Oscars…..

IMG_3758This place is what I think about every Sunday for now on. Just relaxing at the public beach with the island kids and families as I drink my weight in beer and listen to great music.

By the way – I may be posting a special Post on Sunday as it our anniversary of living here in New York.

BoogieDown BBQ at the Rambling House 2018

5 years of the BoogieDown. Between Philly and New York a lot of meat has been cooked and served. This year we changed things up and hosted the event at the Rambling House and did more of a benefit for Alex’s Lemonade. The Memphis Mafia arrived on Thursday and on Friday and Philly rolled into town on Friday night.

On the menu this year was Pulled Pork Shoulder, Baby Back Ribs, Beef Brisket, Smoked Mac and Cheese and Cole Slaw with PorkOsaurus’ new Slaw dressing. We figure that there were about 250 guests and we raised over 2600 for the charity. Thanks to all those who came and a huge thank you to the great staff at The Rambling House.

IMG_3840Why yes we are smoking ribs on Katonah Avenue. What of it?

IMG_3842The PorkOSaurus Company Store. They have a new Slaw Dressing and Marinate

IMG_3863Um Guys, can you get some work done today?

IMG_3845About to start to juice the ribs

IMG_3847Isn’t that a Sexy Picture?

IMG_3846The Chief Bottle Washer and Midget Aficionado

IMG_3856Lemonade Stand courtesy of Fiona

IMG_3864The Boys from the Local showed up for some grub and to let the kids take pictures in the rig

IMG_3865Packed House and they could escape the heat

IMG_3861The Rambling House staff was serving up the food and we also had a face painting person. That is her in the hat….or some homeless girl

IMG_3859This is what probably made the Spring on Pepe’s cooker to go bad.

IMG_3867“Please buy some Rub, Sauce and Marinade so I can have my playroom back!” Poor C-Man was getting tired

IMG_3868Again thank you to the staff at the Rambling House. We couldn’t have done it without you!

You will have to excuse me as I have some non-smoked goods this week.