Good Friends

A Moment of Silence For The King Please

Do you know what you were doing when you found out when Elvis Died? Considering that with the exception of S(Squared) and I think the “Swedish Connection” who are on my team but nobody else can answer that question they weren’t born yet. Anyway I do, I was at Paul Chandler’s House in East Memphis.

More Visitors Than The White House
Bjarni? Purple Dranks?
How cool would that be seeing him at the Stop Light
Can’t wait to see this one in a couple weeks!
I think that a Fire Truck giving a “Love Tap” to someone like this is perfectly acceptable.
Shout Out to the person who for whom we know in this picture. Get Well. We Love You and Your Time isn’t up yet!

Put on some Suspicions Minds Today and Sing it Loud! Have a good Weekend!

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What is up with the picture of the baby Elvi?

I just like it. It makes me happy and I also know that Memphis is probably going to be in a heat advisory since it is Dead Elvis Week. Did you know that I can also forecast the Memphis weather?

  • Coldest Day of the Year in Memphis – Whatever day they play the Liberty Bowl Game
  • Hottest Day of the Year in Memphis – Around Dead Elvis Week
  • Rainiest Day/Week of the Year in Memphis – Beale Street Musicfest or World Championship BBQ Cooking Contest.

I mean if you know the past, you can predict the future.

I am going to share with you some pictures I snapped this past Sunday from the Murphranks Rooftop. Bobcat & Professor were there along with Rocky and Monkey Head Maya. Sorry folks but No pictures of the Humans – I mean have you ever seen Meg or Bobcat in the same place? Same goes for Matt or the Professor? Come to think of it, I haven’t seen Geranium for the past 24 hours. I bet she is in Seattle again.

Maya prefers to be sitting in a lap getting petted. Don’t we all?
Don’t worry Dad, I will protect the Cheese Cooler
The Jar-Man used to say that the sunsets over beautiful West Memphis Arkansas. I guess we can say it sets over beautiful New Jersey
Wonder what asshole lives in that tall as building? I understand from Mr. 3 First Names that my view of the Empire State Building is about to change.
That doesn’t suck. Oh and I found out that The Bobcat and Professor were married in that church to the left of the row houses.

Tomorrow I take the gloves off and blast expedia for their shitty customer service.

Pictures of the Week – Saturday Edition

One would think that when Geranium is out of town I would be able to turn out a bunch of this worthless dribble. I mean, I consider it a dick move while we are together on the weekend for me to blog and not spend time with her. You may be wondering why at this particular moment I am not doing that but she is still in the rack asleep with the dog. And one of them is snoring like a freight train.

Here are some pictures of the past week that I have had in my iFoam.

My Mermaid Bikini wearing slinger of spirits lets me make bad decisions. That’s why we love her so!
Kept the plants alive while Geranium was away!
I am never going to see him up here in New York.
B Duffel had some strong shoe game going on yesterday. I wasn’t about to take it lying down. It is after all Dead Elvis Week
I don’t know what is more ballsy. Sitting on the steps at Penn Station or wearing sandals instead of a HazMat Suit.
And then you have got this. Notice her hands are died Aqua as well. She got off at (dramatic pause) Times Square

I hope you have a good weekend. We are chilling here today and then finding a rooftop in Park Slope tomorrow.

4 Trips Around the sun living in the Empire State

Last week I got one of these notifications that 4 years ago that it was my last board meeting at HW/AMF. I started to think to myself that time has flown by. It was just yesterday that we were hanging at the South Bluffs pool having our Friday board meetings and the Horners only had 1 kid.

Looking back over the past year it has been a whirlwind with Tons of Travel. In no particular order;

  • St. Louis for Missy & Kristina’s Wedding (September)
  • Northwest Arkansas for Hogs/Bama Football weekend (October)
  • Geranium made 3 trips to Japan, Germany, Spain and France
  • She also has made a bunch of trips to Seattle. Either she really loves the Starbucks coffee and flannel or she has a side piece over there. Oh wait her new momma is domiciled there.
  • Memphis for Christmas
  • Northwest Arkansas for Family Christmas (January)
  • London for a Quickie Weekend (February)
  • Weekend Trip to Cryder Hollow (March)
  • Quickie trip to the Fun Side of the Wall before Geranium headed to Switzerland (April)
  • Geranium headed to the land of Swiss Army knives for a month.
  • Trip to Barcelona over BSMF weekend to see Geranium
  • Trip to Geneva over WCBCC weekend to see Geranium
  • Trip to the Redneck Rivera to hang with the Horner’s and their 2 kids.

We also made our yearly pilgrimage to Per Se for Christmas. We made a trip to Philly for a Christmas party and had some fun times with our friends over the past year too.

Back when I had longer hair and there wasn’t any grey in there either.
Barcelona!
London with this guy!
Got to see the Parade thanks to Zsquared
A little Phil Collins
Selfie at the Bridge
Swiss Alps!
Glad we knocked that one off the list. Not like Oaklawn at all.

It is still the best decision moving up here we ever did.

“Should we return to our roots and go to a Redneck Show in Queens?”

Shout out to BK who is a faithful follower of this “Worthless Dribble” of a blog! (putting this here so it will appear in the header of my Social Media posts)

Regarding the Title…that was the body of the text message that I got from (Name Withheld To Protect our Northern Values) about 6 weeks back. So it would appear that Hank Williams Jr was doing a show with Lynyrd Skynyrd in a farewell tour for Skynyrd at Forrest Hills Stadium. Now before I sell out the person who sent the text message I doubled down on them. I informed (said) person that I will have to check. I told them I know “a guy” who works on the Hank tour and I would message him to see if 1- he still was still on tour and 2 – he could get us some better seats.

BK responded back to me saying that he could take care of us and get us some tickets (he knows I am not a ticket mooch) because I wanted to see him and hang out. For those of you wondering who this BK guy is…..well… we served time together. I am not talking about Federal “Pound You In The Ass” Prison, I am talking something much worse…. A month long festival that included a 3 day Music Festival, Rednecks with Smokers and then KC & The ‘Mother Fucking’ Sunshine Band! Oh did I mention that we also had an almost Tornado hit the park so on night 2 of the Music event we evacuated >30K people? Yep, BK and I may have been different ships at sea at the time (I was fun-employed, he was about to get married the following January) we respected each other and played well with others which made it easier to deal with that crap……Well…..Except for the WCBCC Volunteers. We both would choose Communism over them! (that may take a hit on the blog but nobody reads this shit anyway)

Say what you will about Social Media and Facebook. I don’t post much on FB except to plug this worthless dribble but BK and I kept up with each other via this platform. When his (Saint of a wife,I might add) posted that she needed some birthday cards for BK’s monumental celebration how did she get the word out? Facebook. Anyway this was the mode of keeping up with our lives for the past 9 years.

Flash forwarding to the show. Let me tell you (sorry Maria) but Forrest Hills Stadium FUCKING ROCKS as a venue! Holy Shit and it is fun as crap too with the Food Trucks and the booze! The fact that its nestled in the middle of Forrest Hills Queens (MEMPHIS FOLKS – Think Cross between Mud Island Theater Seating but in the midtown are like the Levitt Shell Location) it blows my mind. Oh and the line up this summer isn’t that too fucking bad either.

So before I go into the pictures; Thank You BK. Thank you for tickets and thank you for following this worthless dribble of a blog. But most importantly thank you the fact that one of these days I won’t have to come to your office so we can hang out have some laughs. “Play it Loud” runs at the Met till the fall so come on up! If not I welcome a trip down south and we can giggle at some of the stuff we have seen over the past 10 years. Thank you.

The current Line Up for Forrest Hills. Hey GurleyGurl, Dessert Buddy & Geranium’s Sushi Buddy, and naturally Doty – September 11th. Come Up! You Got a Guy!
Pic of the Venue from Sound World
Like I said, Small Venue but its fun and lots of history!
Venue from the Food Trucks/Tents
Tons of Food and Drink – Bring your wallet!
Seriously, Thank you Billy! I might add we still look good for all that clean living too!
Hank Jr Baby!
The ICON and his son.
Oh these Knuckleheads tagged along too!
So did these Knuckleheads too!
This actually is one of the greatest live Concert Pictures that I have ever taken from an iFoam. And the Fact that Jethro in front giving us Double Hook em Horns is even better!
As expected, I didn’t post a picture of us at the event. I promise we were there. I need to work on those Robo Selfies!

What a great Sunday in Queens. Anyone want to come up for September 11th. I want to go see Willie……

Smoked Meats in Glenside PA

After returning from the Redneck Rivera we have had a full weekend schedule pending. The first weekend since our return had us heading over to Philly for a Memphis Style BBQ. Geranium being the world jet setter was in Seattle for work so she decided to fly the red eye straight into Philly and I would take Amtrak over to Philly. Since I already booked our travel I invited LJZ since her husband is enjoying summer school.

Due to some prior commitments the majority of the BBQ Team would not be able to attend so Pepe called in the “B Team” meaning SK and I would be the substitute pit masters. Other than a pork roll incident we managed to put out some good food for the group.

Since we got there so early into Philly I left LJZ to go see her friends and I headed on the regional train to Pepe’s house.
We really should have brought this up to the cooking pad but it got things going for us Saturday Morning.
Now this is a smoker!
We (well not so much me or SK) burned some of this.
SK’s lovely wife made sure that the guests were good and ‘hydrated’ and kept cool with frozen drinks.
Is this a Kids Drink or a Uncle Robo Drink?
Every time I looked up there was another protein to smoke or cook. Thanks to Pepe’s buddy for helping out.
Oh the Shame (She obviously is not from the south) I told LJZ’s friend that I was going to put this picture on my worthless dribble of a blog. I even put it as the featured picture too!
We had a good time and I didn’t do a repeat of 2 years ago in Glenside when someone slipped me a Mickey.

All in all the B Team did a good job and it was a hit. Appreciate Pepe and D3 for letting us stay the night and we will be back.

The 2019 Carl Lipbalm Memorial Caddy Scholarship Winner 1 of 2 – ZF

Do you recall 3 summers ago we hosted The 2016 Caddy Scholarship Winner Special Ed? What about last summer when it was the 2018’s Caddy Scholarship Winner Love Bug? By the way, the 2017 Caddy Scholarship winner elected to forgo her trip to NYC and took the cash equivalent. What that means is that her parents are free to use our condo when we are away as long as they keep the dog alive. So this spring we had 2 High School graduates which can cause a logistical issue considering we only have room for 1 stinky body at a time. Thankfully we told both sets of parents (who happen to be sisters) that it would be first come first served for dates that can fit our schedule. ZF selected this past weekend which unbeknownst to him would also happen to be the hottest weekend.

No need to cry over spilled Gold Bond! Come on and we will adjust the schedule to accommodate time to reapply powder to prevent Swamp Ass. ZF arrived Thursday evening and thankfully Geranium was able to collect him at the airport and bring him in via New York Subway.

Friday Morning I took young ZF with me as I was going to show him around town, make some calls for work and then hand him off to Geranium in the afternoon. We were like Tourist Ninja’s on Friday Morning and hit the following;

  • Wall Street and NYSE
  • Federal Hall
  • The Charging Bull on Broadway (I fucked up and forgot they moved Fearless Girl to the NYSE and it was too hot to go back)
  • Staten Island Ferry and a Trip to see the Bitch in the Harbor (FYI – Friday AM is the best time to do this)
  • 9/11 Footprints
  • 10 Ladder/10 Engine
  • Alexander Hamilton’s Grave at Trinity (The CBT Surprise)
  • Times Square (kill me BTW)
  • Cobert Studio
  • Fancy Lunch at a Midtown East Sushi House
  • Rockefeller Center
  • Fallon’s Marquee
  • Joe’s Pizza
  • St. Patrick Cathedral
  • UES trip to see some of CBT’s customers
  • Grand Central Station

So after that we came home because well let’s be honest. I was dripping wet and even though he wouldn’t admit it, he was miserable too. Thankfully we knocked off a lot on that trip. That evening Geranium took ZF to see “House of Mormon” and I went to get a cigar.

Saturday we changed it up and because it was miserable hot we did the Bus tour called “The Ride.” It was neat but unfortunately the AC in the bus couldn’t keep up but nevertheless we had a good time. That evening we went to see Blue Man Group which we have never seen. It was good and we enjoyed the AC.

Sunday we took it easy and took ZF over to Coney island for a Nathan’s Hot Dog and to see the boardwalk. We didn’t last long and ended up back at the apartment to suck in some AC.

As always, it was a great time to spend time with someone you normally don’t spend time with at Holiday events and it is always fun to see someone experience New York City for the first time. Sure its a pain in the ass in Times Square during the heat but that is what makes this city so much fun. The guys who emcee The Ride were taken back when we told them we were from Brooklyn. Then they figured it out when we said ZF was from Little Rock Arkansas. On to the pictures..

What do you mean I have to pose for pictures. Nobody told me this in my orientation.
Shut up kid and smile with the Bitch in the harbor!
I am guessing I am getting Thumbs up because Grand Central is Air Conditioned!
Or maybe ZF prefers Stephen Colbert in the UWS
Cousin Trumpet you are taking this picture because the girl in the blue jean shorts aren’t you?
Missed this by 30 minutes on Friday heading into the city.
You are tweeting Geranium aren’t you?
I give this props, it is pretty fun!
On The Ride
Disclaimer – They have performances pre set along the route.
I mean they are killing it and it was probably 100 degrees in Columbus Circle on Saturday.
But what is fun is that this is New York and the Tourist on the Bus don’t see it yet.
Seriously nobody has seen it yet.
Thanks guy bathing in the Fountain. Only in New York!
For Blue Man Group
Let’s Take a Selfie
We were in Orchestra, down below is called “Poncho” for obvious reasons
Really another picture?
Who are you tweeting now?
Please, last pic, I am dying in this heat!
We had fun playing with you ZF!

It was fun but it was hot and thankfully ZF was a good sport. We had fun playing with you.

Pictures of the Week from the Redneck Rivera.

So we will finish the week with some final pictures from our week down in the Redneck Rivera. Like I said, we had a blast and we look forward to next years trip. I figure by then maybe Knuckleheads #1 & #2 will be able to fetch Uncle Robo and Uncle RJ some cold pops! Captain can you start teaching the kids how to make Painkillers for next year.

Returning from the day on the beach. Notice the Cigar in my left hand. That was Cigar #22 for the week.
“Mom, we are tired of posing, Uncle Robo can we act a fool?”
“Go Ahead Kids! Fly that Freak Flag!”
Thank God we ordered the Small Drinks!
Happy 4th of July!
Need a bottle of Tito’s and a Dildo? We have found the place for you!
4 Toe Heads having dinner! I miss them!
I also miss this Bushwacker too!
Maya had a good Vacation too!
Hate to tell everyone but Knucklehead #2 took Daddy to school on the tabletop games!

Next week we will return to normal NYC Shenanigans. One should always get out of the city for a couple of days. We had fun with all of these jokers.

While in the South….

One should always pay proper homage to their southern roots. What does this mean folks???? A trip to the FloraBama and Waffle House!

Recall when Sean Brock and Anthony Bourdain went to Waffle House and these words were muttered?

“You don’t come here expecting the French Laundry,” Brock says. “You come here expecting something amazing.” “This is better than the French Laundry,” Bourdain replies.

No disrespect to Thomas Keller (Landlord and Mr. 3 First Names – Cover your eyes) but in the south the Waffle House kicks the shit out of French Laundry and twice on Sunday Morning! After a quick trip to the Florabama RJ and I asked our driver if they would drop us off at the Waffle House for a small meal. We arrived just before midnight and after a brief wait were ushered to a seat at the counter.

In proper respect to Sean Brock & Bourdain, I ordered a Pecan Waffle as an appetizer which puzzled RJ and settled for the 2 eggs fried, Scattered, Smothered, Covered X 2, Bacon and toast breakfast. I believe that RJ chowed down on a Philly Breakfast plate but when I recalled looking over there it was gone!

Maria – is there a Waffle House around these parts? I see a couple in PA.

The Florabama was warm and very GOP’ish to say the least!
Talk about a dick move by the Florabama. You ain’t in Brooklyn Bitch, you in the South!
It is about to go down!
Yes Please
The Nerve Center of Waffle House – The kitchen
Now that I look at this sober I realize we got screwed!
Oh my Cholesterol is hitting high Triple digits!
RJ’s Plate – Now I know why he was singing Ring of Fire the next morning – Jalapeno Peppers!
Wonder why I was so thirsty!
I am ashamed of the bill. It was high!
The Next morning I had a party scar and I was eating Imodium like it was Pez

Again apologies to Jenn for forgetting the hashbrowns in the Uber. I blame RJ for leaving it!

There are 2 things that will always say the truth no matter what….. 2/2

Spandex and a 3 year old.

So when I left you I was peeing in the Gulf of Mexico with RJ. The rest of the week we pretty much stayed close to home. We did make a trip on a boat one day and that was a lot of fun. During that 3 hour boat tour some folks got White Girl White Claw Wasted and it was good to hang with our friends. Like I said before; for 2 people who don’t have children who freely want to vacation with 2 other families and their children says something. But then again these kids are pretty good and the only real tears shed that week was when we had to leave on Saturday to go back to the real world. Well that was until Expedia Fucked me.

Mallory and Elsie Hanging
Geranium and I
Captain
This was my Cartoon Watching Buddy
Beautiful Day on the water and at the beach!
Geranium preparing lunch
Knucklehead #2 enjoying String Cheese while dipping it into Rotel Cheese. (Makes me tear up just thinking about it)
Pour that shit in the sink. It isn’t even worth mixing it with Vodka!
JMH and RJ