hate the game

A Trip to 161st Street to sit in “The Baller Seats”

Sometimes it is good to be Carbunkle Trumpet. Oh and sometimes it is even better to be sitting in Baller seats for a Yankees/Red Sox home series on Friday night. Needless to say it is a helluva good perk of working for the Double Decker Tour Bus Company. Oh and for the Yankees to win too? What can I say? I am money!

Second Row on the Third Base Side Doesn’t suck!
Wish they would put last names on the Jersey’s because I don’t know all my players yet.
Not too bad for a Friday Night
The Red Sox’s TV Personality
Seriously Judge is a grown damn Man!

Feel Free To Hate. I even hate myself for sitting in these seats since I am not such a huge Yankees Fan. But I will still live with myself. Oh and I am 1-0 sitting in these seats and the Yankees swept the Red Sox on this series.

Some Pictures of London

I have been remiss in posting these so here is a bonus Post Presidents Day entry for you 15 readers. We had a blast in London and hopefully we will be doing something like this again in the near future.

Regarding London, it was great seeing PNG Mike and Lady E as well as Lord Jimmy and his parents and seeing Vegas JD was a bonus too.

Had no idea that the Landlord has such a following here in London.
Parliament they seem to have some issues much like we do. To quote Jimmy’s father “Please don’t impeach Trump, if you do then we will be the only assholes with issues!”
I think that I have drank some Gin with picture of that fella on it
Sure you can always get a selfie of Buckingham Palace but can you get a bird to stop in mid flight for a Photo Bomb?
10 Downing Street or Number 10 depending on who says it.
Man I have smoked a bunch of this man’s cigars.
I know some people from Whitehall!
Hey Look Kids, Big Ben, Parliament….and Fucking Cold ass Rain!
Too bad we didn’t get to see Master A as we were told he is over 6 feet tall.
Driving on the other side of the street can confuse you

Oye Ceras, por favor, no te bajes la pierna. Es considerado grosero por los estándares de inglés.
I passed on the Ribs at Harrods
Always loved Peter O’Toole
As I have heard that the Angel of Darkness has fallen ill, I am wishing I saw this show while we were there.

It was a great time and we will be back!

Living in New York – Shit we take for Granted

Back when we had Love Bug visiting us you take things for granted living up here. Naturally seeing the expressions on someone who has never visited New York affirms our decision to move up here. The other day I was talking to someone and I was telling them that I use Jet.com to get my household supplies rather than shopping for them. They asked me why I don’t just swing by Target or the store and get my Toilet Paper. I told them that I didn’t like carrying that stuff 5 blocks. I could immediately sense that the hamster wheel was spinning but the hamster was dead.

When Love Bug was here I made note of a couple things and jotted them down. A couple days later I was looking on Instagram and I noticed former Memphian @Brizzyc post a pic of her husband making wine. The making of the wine didn’t really seem that odd to me but the fact that this was being done in the bathroom did. Her husband was sitting on the “closed” toilet seat using a drill to stir the contents but in the background was a chest freezer. You see folks, space up here is at a premium. The simple fact that they have a freezer in their shitter tells me that the probably have some other unique storage that we probably do also.

  • Closet Space is a such a premium that you don’t expect for your luggage to be empty. Normally it is full of out of season clothes.
  • Yes we spend north $4.75 of a square foot to have the opportunity to live in New York/New Jersey. Oh and you can kiss your ass if you think you can get a garbage disposal or non-hotel style air conditioner.
  • Why lug your groceries/dry cleaning/booze/laundry detergent when you can have someone deliver it for you? I can recall when Theo’s momma was all happy when she could get her booze delivered to her back in Memphis. God bless Astor’s Wine & Spirits for delivering Mary Louise’s “maintenance” wine for 3 years now.
  • The last time I have driven in Manhattan was on August 5, 2015 and that was to empty the UHall truck and then promptly dropped off said truck in Long Island City. Nope I don’t miss it at all! I take cabs and Ubers when I want to ‘spoil’ myself or are too drunk for the subway.
  • Regarding Subways and Mass Transit – Avoid the empty subway car at all costs. Also it is best to let sleeping people lie. It isn’t your fault if the person sleeping off their night of cheap drinks has been to Coney Island and E96th Street 5 times. That is on them.
  • Do not text and walk on the New York city Streets – DO YOU FUCKING HEAR ME KATIE/LIL GENERAL? This takes some self discipline because even Love Bug was struggling with this when she was taking pictures. Seriously you will run into something/someone and may get yelled at.
  • Street Meat is very good and is encouraged to eat at all times – Man I miss Anthony Bourdain! His show on Queens and the food culture is recorded on Tivo and I am planning on making a trip one of these days when GrainBin Girl comes up here. When I took Love Bug to the Hallal boys she couldn’t believe that such good food came from a food cart.
  • When they say it is going to rain and “be a washout” or my next favorite word “Nor’easter” do yourself a favor and try to stay home. Those two words can strike fear into many a New Yorker. It sucks and having to walk around in that shit really sucks.
  • Whenever you can – stop and take a look at the view.
  • Upside to living in a city that has 3 large airports – Taking a Non-Direct flight is for suckers!
  • The cost of a glass of wine can run about $14.00 and a Budlight can run north of $6.00. You do a lot of home drinking/Subway Coffee cups.


Got to love those guys


Naturally this is at Franklin Street


The View It Doesn’t Suck


Atop the Metropolitan Museum


Current Living Arrangement

Have a good one!

Katie Mac is going to kill me – The Campbell Apartment Bar & Lounge

Yeah, she is over in Europe right now according to her Snaps but when she reads this she may fly direct back to JFK just to whip my arse. You see when I moved up here Katie Mac was the first to tell me about The Campbell Apartment in Grand Central Station and how cool it was. I visited it once to meet up with a former client of mine from Memphis (think “Thank You Cattlemens”) but she had to bag at the last minute. It took me a while to find the joint. I mean I have lived up here now 2 years and I finally can make my way around Grand Central without difficulty but it is still huge.

So when RJ and JL (not Social Media JL, Ponzi Scheme JL) were in town this past weekend we made a trip with the Asian Fireman to The Campbell Apartment for drinks. I was in work clothes but I recalled that when they were with old management it was slacks and dress shirts. Thankfully the new ownership relaxed the rules just a tad.

Drinks at the Campbell are old school New York; manhattans, classic martinis and upscale bourbons and scotches. Our group chose Red Wine, Manhattans, a Martini and someone had to keep it real and ordered a Bud Light. The service at The Campbell is impeccable and we had a good time and left after having 2 rounds. Thank God we left when we did, to drink in Midtown Manhattan you pay to play.

Katie Mac – Don’t worry when you come up I promise to take you there.

the-entranceEnter off of the Vanderbilt Pass which is on the West side of Grand Central. To find it inside the terminal is tricky.

plaque-for-the-campbellYou can also look for the sign too.

IMG_1462 (1)Picture from Ponzi Scheme JL – Of the Main Bar and the huge ass ceilings

IMG_1446The Asian Fireman and I win the award for the most expensive drinks in the joint

IMG_1464Even the coasters are fancy

IMG_1465Gold raised lettering too! Patrick Bateman from American Psycho would drink here

Don’t bust my chops, some of you guys drink on Beale Street or the Peabody Hotel.


Pictures of the Week! And its Restaurant Week Too!

Hope everyone in Memphis is trying to stay cool. I am not going to lie, it felt pretty nice this week not sweating into my socks after our rainstorm earlier in the week. The Kid in the puffy coat still takes the cake, bless his heart. We are starting New York’s summer restaurant week that runs till August 18. In other words this is my Graceland or otherwise its like a fat kid eating cake!

daniel-profile-860x574Oh Grainbin Girl is going to be pissed now. Yep we are going to be dining with this man at not one but 2 of his joints for restaurant week.

IMG_1372I think it was best when Rebecca said that this person must be from Belize. It was 70 degrees out folks.

IMG_1365Shout out to Sandy and Rick our former Rowing Coaches – That is big balls rowing right there folks. That isn’t some little lake, it is the Hudson River! #Power #thatswhatshesaid

IMG_1363Need to make it over there one time. I hear it is nice

IMG_1366Now that folks is a Bar!

IMG_1360Went on a boat ride last Sunday. Nice shot of the Brooklyn Bridge and Lower Manhattan in the background.

IMG_1364Some Bitch in the Harbor! And S/O to Boris my new barber! My hair game was on point this past Sunday!

IMG_1368Well we do have the Bakers Dozen shows of Phish at MSG going on now.

IMG_1362Freedom Tower on an overcast day

I will let you know how Dinner was! #donthatetheplayerhatethegame


Your Chicago Cubs – World Champions

You know how long I have been wanting to type that? I will be honest, I didn’t think it would ever happen. You know how many times I have cursed the Goat, Bartman and some Cardinal Fans? On the Saturday that I went to Losers Lounge I started getting text messages from friends who were watching the game. I texted our good friend AB and asked if we could crash at her house last weekend. She was up for the challenge and we made our way to Chicago. I am going to let the pics do most of the talking but a HUGE shout out to AB for putting us up and it was great to see my favorite Mexican and her husband as well as baby “Jubo.”  I still keep checking the paper to make sure the Cubs are still World Series Champs.

img_2538Flying into O’Hare and you get it that Chicago is pumped for the Cubs.

img_2534Sunday Brunch at Shaw’s Seafood Joint. This place was legit!

img_2529We had to try the Deep Dish. Yeah I know it is corny but it has to be done. Sorta like having a dirty dishwater dog in NYC.

img_2526Saturday wasn’t the greatest day for being a Cubs fan.

img_2533View from AB’s porch. I really want a porch.

fullsizerenderShout out to Seagraves for the text on Sunday morning.

img_2536Decided to change it up on Sunday and went here to watch the game. It helped b/c we won!

buckleyAB & Mrs. CBT at a Chicago drinking establishment.

img_2528Check out the grease board on the fence. Love these guys. 1 block from Wrigley Field.

wrigleyGreat day, Great friends, Great food, shitty score of the game.

img_2527Now I know why Gurleygurl like Jack Daniels.

14907240_10154394735567107_1848897812945533200_nAint’ it pretty? #flytheW

Have a good weekend. We are busy as we have the Nephew and my mother in town this weekend. Lookout Nike Town.


CBT where the hell have you been?

Yeah I know that I have become that guy who has a blog but doesn’t write anything but in my defense I have been kinda busy. After turkey day, we took a cruise, spent the holidays with friends and Santa brought me some new underwear so I have neglected my 3 readers but now I am back! We did a cruise on the Norwegian Pearl and yes we were in the death cabin and thankfully I am still here to report on it. Our stops were Samana, DR, St. Thomas, Tortola and NCL’s private island but as I told someone we could have circled Key West I didn’t care!

Miami Port I knew we were in for something when they delivered a generator that we would later find out was to charge all of the rascals or hovarounds!
You can sing along if you want to “The Love Boat, soon will be making another…”

You don’t have to tell me twice!

Cool shot of Miami and the Carnival Destiny (that Momma and I got married on 13 years ago)

Momma aka Gilligan and Weed playing poolside blackjack!

Pretty much sums it up for me!

WTF happened here why is that wine glass broken?

Matty is throwing Maria under the “She spilled it Bus!”

Is that a little bar off in the distance?

Hey Smales my dingy is bigger than you boat!

Well if you have to do something, you might as well enjoy a sunset!

Got to meet up with Doty in St. Thomas!

Smells like Chicken!

I hate Megan’s Bay!

Sucks doesn’t it?

I mean why the hell are we here, let’s get back on the ship!

Atop the mountain and “Hey look I can see our boat!”

Hmm, I have an idea!

Jan, Gail, Spurs, Dita, Bill, Becky, AJ Bee and Ruthie this one is for you – “Hey Look a Chicken!”

Momma hated the trip as you can see!

And don’t think that we didn’t try to steal one of those suckers, hell we bet “someone” that she needed to ride “reverse cowboy” on one with Pappy at the wheel!

Chocolate Cowboy wasn’t any fun!

Nice Speedo!

Yep we were in the Death Cabin!

Why do I always have pictures taken with bar staff? Strange….
A good time was had by all!

Life is good!

I better remind momma to be careful of opening any letter bombs from the message boarders and to keep the blinds shut as we may get a drive by from an angry animal hospital employee as soon as I hit publish because this post is probably going to anger some people. The past month has been kind of stressful at the Trumpet household and I am glad to report that no Momma is not pregnant but she did just sign up with a new and improved band so if you are looking for new digs please feel free to give her a shout. I am not tooting her horn but it is secretly my plan for her to support me in the lifestyle that I need to become accustomed to and here is to hoping that she makes a ton of money and that this blog goes from making fun of kids doing and wearing stupid things to the first “What happened on General Hospital or Guiding light” blog. Go Forth and Make me some money Momma!
Anyway since Momma has changed jobs up a little, we are unable to take our traditional fourth of July trip as the month of July is going to be busy for her so CBT looked into his crystal ball and calender and did some pondering. Now if you have read any of these previous entries you can guess where it is the Trumpets love going trip after trip after trip so I pulled out my Belize Bucket List and here is what said; experience Lobsterfest, Halloween, New Years Eve, Carnival, and the Costa Maya festival. Well since I could not wait for the fall or the winter, I started looking at Lobsterfest as our trip this year. We found some good dates that we could attend and the Crappy Hotel that we always stay at had rooms so now it was time to play the flight watching game.
Well today I hit paydirt as we found some great airfare and what the hell, I booked those beautiful suckers today at lunch! As I was doing the San Pedro Happy Dance, I shot an email to my brothers and sisters from another mother who are forced to live on the island and it just gets better and better….
First of all we will be there in time to chill with some good friends from Kansas, Philly, Houston, and other places as they will be finishing up their vacations as well as chill with our great San Pedro friends – Bonus
Second we will be on the island the same time as some other blog stalkers and of course the blog mayor of Belize and others. (I am trying the Hyperlink out for the first time if you can’t tell)

And lastly we will be there for the Block Party of Lobsterfest and we get to enjoy 2 Sundays on San Pedro this trip! – Someone Slap Me!

First order of Business – Drink own weight in these!

Go Chill at this “shitty bar”

Go find this guy and drink with him too!

After spending so much time in the bars, I may even kiss this man on the Cheek! Or at least ring his damned bell!

Lobsterfest booth (Stolen from the Blog Mayor)

If I am lucky I may get the “you better watch yourself” Maria finger!

Go eat Breakfast at this joint (stolen from Rump Shaker)

If there is time maybe do this, or possibly Home Depot and Bed Bath and Beyond

But in the end we will be smiling like Cheshire cats!

Ok, I need to tell Momma to go close the blinds – Life is good!


If you have a daughter, sister or neice – READ THIS ENTRY!

Ahh the Sunday prior to Memphis in May which could only mean the Beale Street Wine Race or as some call it the “run naked through the street party!” Now I must admit as we were walking down to the the entertainment district someone asked if I brought my camera and if I was going to talk about this event and he informed me that he may get a chubby reading this post. All I have to say is sorry RJ, even though I am on the express train to hell, I can’t publish pictures of some mother and fathers sweet little Innocent daughter who may or may not be covering all of her ‘lil bits’ (Even if she were the biggest slut on the bar at Alfreds!) I have friends who have daughters and let me give you this advice – If sweet little daddy’s girl tells you that she is competing in the wine race, LOCK HER THE HELL UP IN HER ROOM THAT DAY! You do not want to know what happens down there! TRUST THE CARBUNKLE!
Anyway the Wine race is restaurant event in which various bars will put a team together and compete in the Parade, Queen of the Vine, Grape stomp, and the big one – The wine Relay race! This year we had great weather and the drunk o meter was pegged by 1PM so a good time was had by all. The Wine relay race is a 4 man team and goes like this; 1 team member opens a bottle of wine, pours a glass and caries all that on a tray up a block to his relay man, 2nd team member opens another bottle of wine, pours a glass and off he goes with 2 bottles, glasses back a block. You are judged on speed and total volume so you may have a fast time but if you broke a bottle then you lose points for that. I must admit that I was on a winning wine race team back in the day and we all shared a 2K grand prize and of course had bragging rites for the year. This year’s winner was Flemmings, with the Gold Strike coming in second.
In the end a good time was had by all and it is a great way to kick off Memphis in May! on to the pictures;

a beautiful day for drinking!
Red Rooster Bar in the Parade

Red Rooster’s queen (that ended up being named queen) She was cute, had fun, wasn’t nasty and did not get all naked. Her mom and dad would be proud.

Miss Polly’s team (love the rolling cooler)

Alfred’s carrying in their queen

More on her later….

BB Kings’ team

Ruth Chris’ Queen

Gold Strike

Is that who I think it is? Yo King!

“I want to thank my momma and daddy for my private skool edumacation, and yes I am dressed like a slut and just wait till they ask me my Queen of the Vine question. I am really going to show my arse!”

Jean Jean the Dancing Machine! She was body painted that morning and looked great!

Ok, we are in Alfreds now and let’s get out the whipped cream and let other girls lick it off of various body parts.

Me and the Silly Goose Queen of the Vine

More people on the bar with whipped cream

Aunt Terry and the Trumpets! (we only see him during festivals yet he lives downtown too!)

Now before you call me a perv, that is Ms Trumpet watching the show too, she and I had a good laugh about some of the girls dancing on the bar!

Check out Mom in the Blue dress on the right

DAMNIT I WANT A DRINK, Move you Skanky Arse out of my way!
Screw it, let’s go outside and check out the wine race that is about to start!

Us and Jean

The horses are nearing the starting gate.

He has good speed but…… Aw Shit!

Brother Pat checking out the race

Not bad, good form, looking good (he dropped everything right after I took the pic)

Man down, Man down! (Sorry Jan & Hon but you can’t lick the street, too much glass)

You have a Baby!!!! At the Wine Race!

Blue Monkey Team warming up!

Dude, you are going to have a bad burn tomorrow

Just like that girl’s feet!

That’s a good way to eliminate spillage.

Oh go ahead and have a seat, it isn’t timed or anything.

Brother Mike King!

The Guy on the left is my former brother from another mother Jay Turney of Chez Phillipe, they had a good heat but came up short this year. I love JT’s facial expressions!

Run JT, RUN!

Back to Alfreds and Mary decided to get Jiggy with it to some Funky Cold Medina!

Liz and Brother Sparks

Me and Anna

I have no idea what Ford is doing….

But it looked like fun, so I joined in!

And another wine race is in the books, now bring on Memphis in May!
Now one more time – Mother and Fathers if you sweet little inocent girl wants to compete in the wine race, make sure she is going to do the grape stomp but other than that she may end up on someone’s hard drive showing her……..

Rut Row Uncle Carbunkle is in T-R-O-U-B-L-E!

People ask me from time to time “Carbunkle why don’t you and Mrs Trumpet have any kids?” and my normal response is that I don’t want to to share my toys with anyone else or I don’t want the competition. Don’t get me wrong, it isn’t that I don’t like kids but I don’t know if I could eat a whole one but we spoil everyone else’s kids, case in point my 5 year old nephew. J-bob is a great kid, spoiled rotten, but nevertheless a lot of fun to be around and he is my little sisters boy. At 5 he has already been to Belize twice, numerous trips to Destin and I hear that he is quite the ladies man in that he has many a saddle oxford wearing middle school females affection. One thing that he and I have in common (other than height) is that he and I were both raised to be around adults and were taken everywhere by our parents so we are not that kid that you see in the grocery store who is raising a hissy fit.

Being around J-bob he and I (along with Aunt Sissy) love to harass his mother and grand mother with various comments and or expressions for example when mom was moving into their new house in High Point Terrace. On moving day next door to them were some Hispanic workers painting the exterior of the house and one of them made a wolf’s whistle at my sister which threw her into a tizzy, what did Uncle Carbunkle teach J-bob – to say “Hola Chicka” and then stick out his tongue and move it side to side! Then there was the time that J-Bob was not happy with the fact that it was time to come inside and was trying to play hardball with me, what did I do? I informed J-bob that there were only 2 things that he had to do – Stay White and die. Well with that there are a couple of Uncle Carbunkle words that when he is around me that he can use on occasion and here is where we begin the story…..

On Friday J-Bob wanted one of his little friends to come home with him after school and so he and ‘said friend’ walked over to the girls school where his mother was finishing up and preparing to leave for the day. She informed J-bob that no ‘said friend’ was not coming home with them and that did not sit to well with J-bob and he started a little hissy fit. After mommy informed J-bob that life is tough that J-bob crossed over that bond that he and Uncle Carbunkle have by screaming at the top of his lungs “DAMNIT!” Oh did I mention that when J-bob decided to cross over that line that they were in the main lobby of a private Catholic all girls school in front of many people. Needless to say J-bob’s mother was not to happy with this and I hope that it was the presence of her boss that prevented her from making one of those grocery store scene’s and beating him with an inch of his life.
They leave school and for some reason my cell phone promptly blew up and yes ladies and gentlemen a 39 year old man got ‘time out’ from his younger sister! I apologized to my sister and told her that I would have a little talk with him and I would refrain from using such language in his presence. In my defense, I am at least happy that J-bob used the now banned word in perfect context and I understood that when he yelled it, you could hear it upstairs in the high school.
So the Uncle Carbunkle words are now banned and I even got a lecture from Grandmother’s friends but just wait mommy and grandma till we teach the little bastard how to make the perfect martini!

Sitting in Bar 595 eating dinner

I mean look how we dress him, at least he isn’t wearing faggy clothes like his mother makes him wear.

Loves to come to Aunt and Uncle Trumpets house!

What is not to love about the little turkey butt!

Let us know if you want us to baby sit any of your kids?