Just the Pictures please

Merry New Year – Beef Jerky Time!

Hope that you had a great New Years Eve and New Years Day. I am currently enjoying poor health (not from alcohol you jackasses) because 300 gallons of snot is being produced in my head so my throat and nose have been on overdrive today. The joys of living here in the North.

Anyway I am going to try to catch up with this post so my next post (probably towards the end of the week) will be current. With that here are some pics on my iFoam.

IMG_2443Son, I don’t care if you are from the Fucking North Pole, it is winter here in New York City and the floors are NASTY. Put some fucking shoes on! Oh and this is the same guy who pulled my (still in the dryer and on the cool down cycle) laundry out and put it in a basket. He may be missing some clothes…..

IMG_2432Our WiFi name is “Penny Get Your Own Wifi” from Big Bang Theory. I am glad to know that there are some Seinfeld fans out there still!

IMG_2455Shout out to my favorite Hoosier Work Wife!

IMG_4077So glad these two knuckleheads came into town and I was able to meet up with them for a drink. I need to get out to Colorado for a trip.

IMG_7873Let this be a lesson to you iFoam people. If you have your ‘airdrop’ app thing on then people can put pics on your foam. Thankfully it wasn’t a hammer pic like I understand is the all the rage on the subways but some girls who were at the next table to us. They were cute and had a blast.

IMG_2486W46th Street between 8th and 7th Ave. Or as I told my father – the closest that I wanted to get to the silliness of Times Square.

IMG_2483Looks like I will never have to cook another meal while living in New York City. *unless we go visit Lightbulbs parents and I have to smoke meat* Momma got her an InstaPot. The problem is that I am not a big fan of yogurt.

IMG_2509Zsquared on New Years Eve #theyweresober

IMG_2510The Trumpets on New Years Eve #wewerenot

Hope you had a good laugh and had a great New Years Eve.

As a friend of mine said there are 365 days in a year so we have 365 chances. Go Make A Fucking Difference! If 2017 wasn’t your year then change your circumstances. Don’t bitch!





Special Saturday Post – Go Tigers Go

Been busy since getting back from Memphis. We just left town as the Flu Bug was arriving and have been overdosing on Airborne and all kinds of old wives tales on how to stay healthy. Anyway it was a good trip and we tried to see as many people as we could in such a short time.

I plan on ‘borrowing’ an idea fromĀ JENSIZED and post something similar to her 10 things she accomplished probably tomorrow. Right now it is snowing, I have to go get the dogs from the groomer and there should be cigars smoked this afternoon with the boys.

Go Tigers and if you are sitting on the couch right now and have Liberty Bowl Tickets get your ass off the couch. Go put on your bedroom comforter coat and get your ass to the game! We can’t let Iowa State show us up!

IMG_2460This is Monkey Head Maya’s sister. As you can see Maxi is much larger than Maya but we love them both.

IMG_2462Lady Killer – “Uncle CBT you paying for dinner tonight.”
Me – “Yeah but keep it light, I may be living in New York City but I don’t want to be reminded of those costs down here.”
Lady Killer – “No problem, Um Sir (*to the waiter) I will have the Surf and Turf!”

IMG_2463This is just F’d up! Why have wine in the grocery store if you can’t buy it on Sunday.

IMG_2466And for those of you wondering, no that dress that Mrs. Trumpet is wearing is not meant to be serious. It was her Tacky Sweater outfit that she got from China for $10.00 and took 6 weeks to arrive.

IMG_2468Yes, I even went to Mass on Christmas Day with my mother, wife, EGP, & EGP’s Dad. And no the church didn’t fall down either.

IMG_2467Because when you go to Mass you never know what you will see in the Nativity Scene. Take a look at one of the Wisemen that I put in the center of this pic. Is that M’effer wearing a pimp hat? I think so! Oh and if you laughed then you will join me in hell too! Welcome aboard!

IMG_2469Ziggy in the House!

IMG_2470Going to be disappointed that I can’t drink beer with this guy on New Years Day like we did last year!

IMG_2480Well I have always said that if it is going to be this cold it might as well snow. What an asshole I am!


Have a good Saturday and Thanks for reading.

Pictures of the Week – Mexican Style

I really need to make plans to go somewhere warm again very soon! This being cold is for the birds! Birds I tell you!

IMG_2317Shout out to my Minion Jason for this nugget of knowledge. “Always take a picture of your room number when checking in.” You have no idea how many times one would forget what room they were in.

IMG_2324Wonder why I was so thirsty on the Morning of Day 2. I need all the Water Por Favor!

IMG_2329My Mother has a philosophy that she never trusts a culture that doesn’t put cheese on their food. It makes perfectly good sense to me if you think about it!

IMG_2330Boy nothing make me harder than diamond in an ice storm than a flat top of grilled vegetables.

IMG_2332“I think there is way too much cheese on that!” – said no man ever!

IMG_2333Deep Down Ford is jealous that I am wearing my red shorts and that he and K don’t have kids because if they did then they would get some Maracas at Christmas from the Trumpets! #robocares

IMG_2334I am now a fan of the Hemingway Daiquiri. I had one a day. Stop Laughing. Seriously stop it!

Have a good weekend folks, it is supposed to be cold and snowy this weekend in Gotham!





Pics from the Week – Christmas Edition

Man o Man has this week flown by. Amazing what happens when you have 4 days off and you roll into the week balls to the wall. This week was a good one and it is officially Christmas since our tree is lit, the one Rockefeller Center is lit and the former neighbor in Atlantic City is probably lit too!

IMG_2269Tree in Rockefeller Center the day before lighting.

IMG_2268Our Tree before lighting and trimming. #lotsofSap

IMG_2249The guys on 1st Ave at E71st were blowing and going.

IMG_2284Our Tree Lit and Decorated with the 8 ornaments.

IMG_2283Oh Look The Tree is Lit in Rockefeller Center *as seen on TV

IMG_2289It’s Christmas because the Doormen are working overtime!

Seasoned Greetings Folks!


Pictures of the Week (oh boy)

I am actually going to break this up into 2 pics of the week because if I am going to go to hell I don’t want to be judged because I also made fun of Christmas Trees. This past week was a wild one. I ran into Elegant Elliot twice, I saw a huge violation with the MTA and a bunch of wild stuff happened too! On a personal note, I love living in this city. It is quirky, weird, has strange people living here and it has embraced me with open arms.

IMG_2291I do love the “failing” media up here. Nothing is sacred!

IMG_2280Yes that is a bucket of KFC on the Queens Bound F Train

IMG_2241Soak it in Folks, Soak it in! Technically this dog is in compliance of being in a bag or kennel

IMG_2270And Here is LZ’s customer, I should have called these guys for the aforementioned picture

IMG_2224Very Strange to me, who can leave their clothes in the laundry room for 2 weeks and not need them. I would run out of undershirts after a week.

IMG_2267I love me some of this Little Brown Woman! She and I Snapchat all the time during Sunday Fundays

IMG_2290You know how wonderful it feels to have to purchase Suntan Lotion in December? Mexico bound next week!

IMG_2294Happy 5 years of having this little Monkey Head! I ran the Memphis Half Marathon 5 years ago and we went over to my dad’s house and they got her for me. They asked me what we should name her and this was the year the Mayan calendar was to end. I run a half marathon and the world should end – Hello Maya!

Be on the lookout for a noontime post! And have a good weekend!


Pictures of the Week *CRAP, It didn’t load till Friday evening!!!

We had a great weekend last weekend and let me be the first to admit that next weeks posts are probably going to suck. Next week is a short week and our favorite 2 first name swimmer is heading to town so we are going to be bizzy. That and I gave you feckers 4 posts this week…

IMG_2176Guess it looks like lobsters like Irish beer in Portland.

IMG_2166So Saturday Morning was a 3 beverage morning. S/O to Seaweed and Diane!

IMG_2198They did have some nice sunsets here in Maine

IMG_2173Google This Company Folks…..Seriously….It is Good Shit!

IMG_2154Not sure who this fat fucker is in this picture but the girl kissing on him says that he is a lucky son-of-a-bitch!

IMG_2193Cold Beer and Hot Sausage….It reminds me to say Happy Anniversary to Alex’s Tavern!

IMG_2130Iggy’s Sports and Karaoke Bar….Never been there!

IMG_2126Happy Holidays…….

IMG_2135Let this be a lesson to you who use the ‘filters’ on Snapchat. I do kid as I love this picture, and it makes me smile. That and I appreciate and respect this person….but it makes me giggle too!

Have a good weekend.

*Editors Note – I screwed up and this didn’t load till Friday Night.





What a Week We Have Had last week

This has been a busy last week for the both of us. Here are some pictures to showcase them.

IMG_2018Even the dogs get into Halloween! No the Monkey Heads did not dress this year.

IMG_2025Got to visit one of my customers who is at 59th and 5th Ave.

IMG_2026Park Avenue

IMG_2027Yes I am in Sam’s territory. It is after all a shared territory

IMG_2029Mrs. Trumpet got in some “Summer Lovin” singing last week!

IMG_2035Asshole Cat

IMG_2008I mean it is the day after Halloween and you put that out?

IMG_2038Christmas season must be here if they put out the Panettone in the grocery stores.

IMG_2039Got to love Trader Joe’s and their wine delivery!

IMG_2040I mean did you really chain your bike to a subway car on the Q?

IMG_2046I think I may need some coffee for this weekend in Maine!

Hope you have a good weekend. We head to the state of LL Bean. 


Pictures that I have had in my foam

I have had these pictures on my foam for about 2 weeks so I wanted to share with you some good ones. Then again some aren’t that great.

IMG_1970Made a trip to Park Slope in Brooklyn with the Murphranks. We decided to head to a Brooklyn Institution called Farrell’s. They serve beer in 32oz Styrofoam containers.

IMG_197132 ounces of Ice Cold Bud Light – You can’t beat that with a stick I tell you!

IMG_19636’9″ Fraternity Brother sent me this picture of an old ass sign hanging at a Duck Camp in Arkansas. I never visited that joint.

IMG_1974Can you imagine getting pulled over by this little arse car? Talk about embarrassment.

IMG_1981Got to get some “Street Meat” by our apartment. Sadly this guy’s offering suck, we should have headed to 6th and 57th for a proper Street Meat meal!

IMG_1982Yo Holmes, I want Extra Hot Sauce – aka butt burn….

Have a good day!


Pics of the Week and it’s been a busy one too!

In no particular order;

  • Happy Birthday Mrs. Trumpet! (what, do you honestly think I am not going to give her top billing? I realize she doesn’t read this worthless dribble but I am all about keeping the peace in 535 square feet)
  • Congrats to Double D on her engagement! It took that boy long enough! I mean Amy Farrah Fowler and I were starting to wonder if he ever was going to get off the fence and quit living in sin with you. No in all seriousness, congrats and elope!
  • Who has 2 thumbs and saw Martha “Snoop is my nizzle” Stewart on the street with work wife this Wednesday? This guy!
  • Who has 2 thumbs and saw Geoffrey Zakarian with “The Rock and Roll Rep” on the street this Thursday? This Guy!! If you are a foodie you will know who I am talking about.
  • Who has 2 thumbs and is going to the New York Food and Wine Festival on Saturday? *Yeah we can figure it out Carbunkle, go fuck yourself!*
  • And we finally have cooler weather in Manhattan! I only saw 3 puffy coats yesterday and one stocking cap.

Enough about me, have a good weekend

1433159218020Not only is a foodie guy he loves cigars and orange pants too! He actually was taller than I imagined.

IMG_1858Views from the penthouse office doesn’t suck you know!

IMG_1860Art is in the eye of the beholder. Or as I see it, someone went a little crazy with the bedazzler

IMG_1854I am going through reading glasses like Trump is going through popularity points

IMG_1853Hey Former Neighbor – I ment to ask you, did you and EBT husband ride one of these?

IMG_1848Doty – I found us a Honkey Tonk in Hells Kitchen!

IMG_1821You forget that you are also a Cruise Line hub till you see one of these big ass things go by on the Hudson

IMG_1820Missed the West Village!

IMG_1838Sometimes you have to stop and smell the fake flowers in our lobby

IMG_1803Happy Birthday to the Cougar! The Monkey Heads are going shopping today for you!

IMG_1802Guessing Someone is a Hot Rod Fan!

Have a good weekend!



Dude, where have you been? Pics on a Humpday!

It is either Feast or Famine. I am ‘En Fuego” or I ‘Suck Cock’ according to A4532 (I am kind of excited I have hate/fan mail from the same person) Shout out to you A4532! Anyway here are some mid week pictures for you. And naturally thanks for reading this worthless dribble.

IMG_1763So we sell a 3 pack of 2X5’s here up here. Why didn’t I realize this sooner?

IMG_1767Yo Chef! How about some love when we try to get a table at your joint on W51st street? *Mrs. Trumpet was very happy about this picture in that this was the first time she saw Eric Ripert in the UES*

IMG_1725A ‘Southern Grocery? Tell me more son.

IMG_1724It may not work up here. I get beat up all the time when I say these phrases. Good Luck buddy!

IMG_1730See the red border pic? We now have 2 portraits behind the bars of fine establishments now.

IMG_1742Is that Mother Fucker wearing Tennis Shoes on his morning commute? F you dude!

IMG_1780This was the 3rd train that I stood online waiting to ‘try’ to get onboard. And this was a Tuesday. #CBTwaslatetowork #Andfuckingpissed #Twitterwasablaze

IMG_1789Shout out to LZ for making me ‘drink on the street’ this past Friday. If you look up in the middle of this pic you can see a half ball to the right of the building. That is the New Years Eve Ball for 2018. And Just think we only have 3 more years till Trump is gone!

Oh and “A4532: do me a favor….Go Fuck Yourself! Don’t make me Michael Rapaport ‘Shame” you…..You Dumb Motherfucker!

Happy Wednesday!