Just the Pictures please

I miss that Nasty Arse MTA Subway

I mean its nasty, its stories below the ground and lawd knows what other nasty arse things are growing on those poles. Hopefully during this down time they are cleaning them and disinfecting them. Yeah that was funny too but I doubt it. What I figure is that once we get to return probably in May they won’t be stinking but who knows. I am amazed that all of my MTA posts on Twitter about delays are missing. Guess it is true that people are the cause of the delays.

You hardly ever see this. Seriously like never!
Work Break to Torture Maya
Look, I get it you like to mess with me but I better get some cheese for this.
Keeping the sidewalk clean. Thankfully the asshole who non-leash’s his dog and lets it pee right out must be away. He is also the same guy who will reserve his Uber from his apartment and lets them wait for him.
Fek Charlie!
Holy Shit! 6 Cars and a Manhattan Bound Q Train on the Manhattan Bridge
Meatball wanted to so play with Maya
My Screen Saver for my work laptop. This was the old Terminal at Caulker but now its nice and fancy!
Booze Delivery for George’s Mom

Seriously let me know if you want a special request.

Just the Pictures Bonus Friday Post!

You guys getting tired of this shit yet? Feel free to shoot me some questions or requests. No I am not going into Times Square, there ain’t anybody there anyway!

Did our first House Party with the Asian Fireman’s wife and sister
Spoke with the Mo-Ho’s too!
She and I have been told that we wear similar glasses.
Maya is extra loving these days.
So seeing this week was a welcome sight. When we get done with this I can’t wait to sit on the Murphranks roof deck watching the Helicopter traffic return from the Hamptons into the city.
Maya is missing her friends on the hall. No not really but she likes a good run down the hall.
I think it is pretty safe to say that 46-1 will never come back into New York after this.

Let me know if you want to see anything different or have a special request.

Adjusting to Things

New Yorkers are resilient. They can put up with a lot of shit that normal people would say “Oh Hell No, Check Please.” We cram into dirty sardine cans daily to get to work secretly hoping that the person next to us doesn’t stink or fart. We live in small ass spaces and pay more money for this when it is the complete opposite of people in other parts of the world. We live in a place where we have people from so many different countries it is just the norm to see people dressed in their native attire or hear their accent or native tongue.

New Yorkers survived 9/11, Hurricane Sandy and we most certainly will survive this damn thing. But what is going on right now is really strange to people who don’t live here. Case in point this whole Social Distancing thing and that there is NOBODY outside. This is what is really strange to us who have gotten used to it.

Oh I guess when we survive this thing and Geranium and I don’t kill each other we can get our “New Yorker” pin. Maria I am looking to you for your ruling.

This is the Manhattan Bridge from my window. It is a dual vehicle and subway bridge and is the second one going from the Tip of Manhattan going up the East River (BMW = Brooklyn, Manhattan, Williamsburg)
What you are looking at on this shitty day is 1 ten car subway on the bridge. On normal rush hour you see one every 7 minutes and sometimes 2 of them on the bridge at the same time. I counted and the lag time between subway is now 15 to 20 minutes.
Do you know how many elevators I have ridden in the past 2 weeks that I am the only asshole in the car? This building is 750 apartments and everyone is staying in.
It is hard to Social Distance on the streets at times. I find myself walking down the middle of the street at times.
Sadly I didn’t Insta-Story this trip to the grocery store yesterday. As you can see people are not hoarding paper towels in Brooklyn
Andrew Cuomo – “Why are people hoarding TP?” I can report that this particular brand sucks and I won’t use this to blow my nose but its good enough for my arse!
Normal shelves, sure some spots are blown out but its not Doomsday
Again I don’t watch the news so I don’t know what they are saying. I have had a lot of you reach out to me and I am very appreciative. We are going to be ok.
I would give my left eye tooth to grill out but our 3rd floor living space is closed until further notice.
Social Distancing Spots on the Floor.
I got the items I missed Sunday or Saturday when I did the Live Insta-Story. I also got a 12 pack of beer to offset my Vodka addiction

You know how I hate to use the terms “The New Normal”, “Un-Presented”, “UnCharted”, “Be Safe”, and “Be Well”? I would kill to get on the subway and give one of my “Are you Fucking Kidding Me?” looks!!!

The Real MVP's Of This Thing

Some of you didn’t know this but I started in professional sales working for a Food Distributor. This was the old D.Canale Foods where the old downtown warehouse is now condos and apartments. When you start out working for them you go into the ‘Express’ where you handled smaller accounts. In addition to sales you also loaded and delivered your own orders. This made you get up early in the morning and naturally in the summer you sweated like a whore in church.

When I moved on to working for Caterpillar Material Handling I found that I missed that type of sales because you got some exercise but let me tell you something. I now have a huge respect for any person who has to deliver in the elements. My old former neighbor, the late great Wild Bill Craven, drove the Brown Truck for UPS. As he told me one time over a couple of beers, it sucks sometime but it isn’t like we are curing cancer.

Ladies and Gentlemen when we get done with all of this, I may openly hug and kiss any delivery person I encounter. Here they are out delivering the things that we need, making minuscule of wages and risking their lives to make sure we get our shit. I am serious when I say that anytime you get a delivery right you make sure you tip them to the point of financial uncomfortableness. God Bless You Men and Women.

Ok, I am off my soapbox now. Here are the pics from Monday. Oh and I didn’t leave the house till the evening walk for Maya. It rained all day and Maya really didn’t want to go out in that shit anyway.

I am worried about some folks on my favorite Island. That is kind of ironic for a guy who is sitting with Ringside Fucking Seats on the Northeast Epicenter. Belize now has their first confirmed case of COVID-19. I have messaged with a couple friends on the island privately but and can offer this to you extended family.
Its a Hurricane Mentality – You stay the Fuck inside, You practice Social Distancing. You don’t turn on the US News because it is crap anyway and don’t fall into the trap to posting shit that you don’t know to be truthful. Its ok to be nervous but if you can handle not being with power for any length of time you got this. We are all going to get through this. Some of you however will be spiting out kids in 9-10 months. Yes I am looking at you Warria!
Photo forwarded to me by my main girl TacoGirl who the next time I see I will kiss on the mouth!
So when I am on person to person calls I walk around our palatial apartment. I was over by our door which is also the place where we put all of our upcoming shit. Deep down I am glad that this got postponed till the fall. They were getting married on my birthday and I was going to Eleven Madison Park and was going to have to pass on their wedding.
See you in the fall Sky and April!
This picture made me lose my concentration today.
I was telling a customer that I was unsure if we can change the delivery address from New York City to Florida.
You see de plane was already inbound to EWR.
And I bet that “An Obscene Amount of Money” was on the stick and lawd knows he would give me some serious grief.
This fall I expect to see everyone.
Like I said today sucked for a view. Rain and Fog all day. Even the Rubber Chicken next to the humidifier (that was empty) was pissed at today.
Exchanged Texts with these knuckleheads a couple days ago. Wait till the one on the left finds out that Tio Carbunkle isn’t going to let her date till she is 30.
Same for this one but she gets on the Carl Lipbalm Memorial Scholarship list when she graduates from St. Mary’s.
These two knuckleheads inform me of their day each time daddy facetimes us.
Hey Obscene Amount of Money Mom – Feel free to call us too!
We are going to attempt to get some things that we have needed to do for a long time. This will then allow us to drink afterwards. Sadly the real job we now do is still taking a lot of our time while we are working from home.
I saw this thanks to Brother Aloysius today and I had to share with you.
By the way Z(squared) – I do expect this to add to the bathroom.

Again, make sure you tip those saviors who are delivering your stuff. And be nice to your fellow Man/Woman.

The Catalina Wine Mixer is Cancelled Until Further Notice – Then the Panic hit!

When we were here for Christmas it was so strange on Christmas Day because there wasn’t any traffic on the streets and the subways were empty. Right now – Let me tell you this is some wild shit up here with it being quiet. We have views of the Manhattan bridge and Sunday afternoon there were ZERO cars on it. Normally we see helicopter traffic over the East River and there none this evening.

Please note that I am not going to use this blog to rant or criticize (that is what Twitter is for) but if you are a fairly intelligent person please stay your ass at home.

Stillwell Avenue on Coney Island (taken from web)
Sunnyside Queens (Mr. 3 First Names, I can hear your comments) also taken from Web
45th Street in Manhattan. I have never seen this before by the way. Also stolen from the Web.
I got me a Twitter Hard On last night from getting a like by Dustin Wilson. I also got a like by Anna Roisman but she and I are old friends.
The Professor and Bobcat Finished up a puzzle yesterday.
Shout out to the Robo Selfie style too!
Hippo is not doing well with Quarantine
It is changing up here hour by hour. I have a feeling that these guys (all liquor stores) are about to be told to shut down because of the Virus.
When I came back from my Grocery Store run this morning I walked by CVS to see if they had Tylenol. They had some but I realized I hadn’t been down those steps in 10 days. Hell they might be able to clean all of them by the time we get to come out again.

I have a feeling that when I wake up and hit publish we probably are going to have different rules for living up here. Stay safe, wash you damn hands, stay off the news, but call someone and check on them. People are scared and need to hear another voice.

Sunday Funday Afternoon Post

I had a couple more pictures on my iFoam yesterday so here is your bonus Sunday post. And for those of you who are paid subscribers this one is on the house. #CBTCares

Oh and featured picture was taken about a month ago. It is very strange to say that I miss riding the Subway. At least I could see some strange people who are acting like a fool.

Took the Dog Out And Saw The Pucci Car.
I mean this is kinda spooky.
Happy to report the Green Lady of Brooklyn is alive and doing well. She is now staying home.
I remember once when I was in Belize I was peeling an Onion and I cut away about 3 or 4 layers of the onion and Cindy and Renita jumped my ass for being wasteful.
We are now in Caribbean Island Precautions with Paper Products
Snapped this when I was in Memphis 2 weeks ago.
Re-Hung this yesterday. How are everyone else home chores doing?
Back when we weren’t Social Distancing.

Z(squared) and I were talking the other day and we said when we do get to come out and re-socialize that it could be like THUNDERDOME! I mean this will be some epic drinking gthat will make St. Patrick’s Day, Santa-Con, West Village Halloween, and Coney Island Mermaid festivals seem like the Catalina Wine Mixer!

Be Safe Out there!

“God has given You a huge block of Time. What are you going to do with it?”

There is a 2 pc band up here that we like listening to by the name of The Tall Pines. It is a husband/wife team of Connie Petruk and her husband Christmas Davis. They play on a lot of Losers Lounge Tributes and have a unique sound. They had a virtual concert (would you have said that term 15 days ago?) last night on their roof in the UWS. Connie said that term that I have decided to use as my title.

So what are you going to do? You going to drink your face off with Vodka, Gin and Rum? Gang, I lived that phase back in the day and you can only really do about 7 days until you have a body shutdown. Here in New York we are in a “Essential Lockdown”. Both of our work places are still blowing and going and we are trying to stay normal.

So what are you going to do during this ‘self quarantine” time? I mean eventually the booze, cooking, cleaning and Netflix binging is going to get boring. What next? As you can see I am ramping up this worthless dribble. But is it really making me a better person? I think it is time to ‘get uncomfortable’ gang. Step out of that safe place that we have been in for the past 5 days.

I look forward to these things. Please keep doing this. Seriously folks people need this!
Schermerhorn Street – Normally it is a ‘look both ways or you will get run TF over’ street. Now it is empty.
SERIOUSLY FOLKS – STAY THE FUCK HOME!
Hey US Retailers – DO THIS! I understand that baby Formula is in high demand. Stop hoarding!
Owner of Sid’s Gold Karaoke Bar and lead for all the Losers Lounge Shows is now doing a daily spot too! This keeps me happy guys.
What Fooking Day is it? I laugh at my old person pill organizer but it does help.
If you can – Keep those Reservations for future events.
“We spoke about how this is going to change things that we have never imagined but people still need people.”
First off ignore that Mug Shot pic on the left.
The Professor/Bobcat/Mr. 3 First Names/Lady Barrister/Geranium/CBT day drinking via virtual was a success.
Side Bar – if you want to have drinks in NYC shoot me a text and we can have drinks. This is now the new norm and people will need to hear voices and talk this out.
Berocca/Shelter in Place Vitamins are in house. We have an additional 15 days for the both of us. This isn’t so much for Corona Virus – it is for the nasty hangovers we are having each morning.

So what are you going to do with this ‘gift of time’?

Shelter this in Place!

So here is the deal. We owe it to our fellow man/woman to sit our asses in our houses for as long as it takes to ‘flatten the curve’ Fucking Period! Bars are still open? What in the actual Fuck? I spoke with my brother in law last night and he said there are over 5K cases of COVID-19 up here in New York (remember we don’t watch the news). Stay the Fuck Home Folks! I am serious, take care of yourself.

Laugh, stay off the news but stay home! I was speaking to Tay-Tay this evening via Facetime. She is a fellow Tour Bus ticket seller and we were comparing notes on selling tickets to NOBODY! Gang this is serious stuff and if you think it will ‘just go away’ then you are as dumb as folks in government. Anyway it was so good to see her face.

Speaking of face – Ladies and Gentlemen if you can’t recall the last time you took a shower or shaved then you need to put your nasty ass in the shower RIGHT NOW! I think is safe to say that Geranium, Lady Barrister or Bobcat haven’t put on a bra in 5 days. Ladies am I wrong?

Here are pics from Friday. Again, stay the F home!

Willie Nelson and his boys! I am so glad I was told about this concert.
And a little Neil Young too!
Paul Simon, Edie and Woody! Not sure who that kid is on the left.
Casual Friday!
“Who is that in the background?”
“That is my wife, she is also working from home.”
“But I don’t understand…”
This person was speaking to me from their 5K square foot home.
Bitch – I live in 500 square feet! My house is smaller than your garage!
Social Fucking Distance yourself! This is the line to the package room.
Love a good Happy hour with the boys!

Quit Texting people. Drop a dime and call them.

Captains Log – Day 2 of living in 500 Square Feet in Crime-Free Brooklyn

So I think that strange times require strange and different methods. I have always a been a fan of posting a barrage of pics from my phone on Friday’s. I call it “Just the Pictures” and it gets little to some press. Given that the entire US is (if not already) on quarantine people may need something on Social Media to smile about. I mean unless you really enjoy seeing crap from people cursing the Left or the Right. Chill folks!

So what I am trying to accomplish here is to put a smile on your face. I want my off day posts to be a place for you to come if you are down or need to get a 5 minute escape from this madness. I am putting a disclaimer out there now – These posts may be a lot of Apartment 38R so I am just warning you.

Truth – I fear that these next couple of weeks if not months are going to get really bad for some people. I know that I now find myself taking quick 5 minute breaks looking at Instagram or my favorite blogs waiting for conference calls or for reports to run. Sometimes I may go grab a diet coke, I may take the dog out to go pee. I may even smack Geranium on the ass while she is on a conference call. Guys and Gials – everyone needs a quick escape from this madness. We are writing a chapter that none of us have ever dreamed about. Shout out to TacoGirl who reached out to me with a great Social Distancing pic that I will use one of these days.

Now let’s be honest, do you really come her for my badly written grammar or run on fucking sentences? I saw Brother Joel McGraw, FCS tow (sp) weeks ago and I felt his scorn for my on regularly badly written blog. Without further adeau;

This is Command Central for Those Double Decker Bus Tours. Yep we are in uncharted times these days but by God we got to keep going.
See the close proximity I am to Geranium’s Bed Pan Cleaning Company? My Gawd! We may need to think about a partition. I showered, shaved and even put in hair gel too!
For those of you that know our “Invisible Kid” he is now stuck at home. Here he is doing his homework in the executive office. This dumb fucker hasn’t realized he has an Alexia in there to help him spell Skool or Kat.
Maya is not fooking happy with this!
Guys, I don’t watch the news up here but this is proof positive that complete strangers are looking out for each other. Oh and we live in a 55 floor building too!
Walked down to my favorite Fort Greene Bodega and they were full of stocked shelves. Anyone need Bodega Sushi?
We have plenty of Baked Goods up here too! No reason to hoard!
So speaking of hoarding we have decided to stop using Paper Towels in the house. We now have our wash bucket out and when a towel becomes MOIST (S/O to Kaylee, Lana and the Hot Asian) we chunk them in here and wash them periodically. Saves on Paper Towels.

So guys, start being nice to each other. Send a random texts and love all!

Pictures of the Week

So here are some remaining pics from Memphis and other pics on my foam.

While we were at W&D’s house waiting on our Uber to the party these two knuckleheads were coming home from a day on South Main. Bonus!
This Knuclehead! We thanked Lisa Marie for letting us hang with her mom and dad in Mexico!
The airport is kinda quiet on a Sunday Morning.
I saw this pic and I hope to God it isn’t Budha or anyone that I know from down in New Orleans.
Wow, this is going to be just one big parking lot soon. Bye Terminal B!
This ‘may’ be why we missed the first flight out at 6AM. Thankfully we got on the next one!
The Former house of the Canadian, Conley and I hear the new folks are cool too!

Like I said, we will be back and spend more time, we promise.