Mary Louise Geranium

Pictures of the Week (And A Shout Out Too!)

I have a bunch of stuff building up on some scratch pads. That and Geranium is going to be away all next week so get ready for more production out of me. In so many words/phrases here is what I have cooking;

  • “The Big Chill” at Dale Hollow Lake (Relax, I got this)
  • “Memphis Basketball Fans have ‘A Guy’ when they visit Brooklyn”
  • Boat Ride on the Hudson
  • “Would Someone Fix My Cigar Bar? Fucking Please!”
  • “Way to Piss Me off” – Airport Decorum
  • “A return to the old haunts” – Going back to the USE roots
  • “So I came out of the closet with the blog at work”

First off, I want to give a shout out to RMT from PA. She has been a ‘stalker’ of this worthless dribble of a blog ever since we moved up here. Her son did some time down by Union Square for the past 4 years as we have lived here. Albeit, I may have never met him, but I feel like I know him. You see RMT got her Christmas, Birthday, Tooth Fairy, and Mothers Day present all rolled into one a couple of weeks back. This makes me happy and puts a serious smile on my face. Oh and by the way RMT – I want a MOG pic texted to me on the blessed day. #UgotThis

I know that I have been kind of scatter brained but I promise when I say this….we have been (really fucking) busy. I mean Geranium has been away more days in a month than she has been in Brooklyn. We aren’t bitching, she works her ass off and she actually loves what she does. She also is getting some great exposure on selling those Bed Pans. On my side…Yeah, I don’t feel so guilty working longer hours on my double decker tour bus sales gig or having a cigar with the boys. This is what people in their mid to early 50’s do in NYC right? More to come, more to come.

Anyway here are some pictures from this past week. It has been a powerful week to say the least.

Saint John Baptist De La Salle…..Pray for Us but Most Importantly Thank You!
Happy Birthday Monkey Head!
All aboard the A Train!
Thanks Alex! Way to made the guys in Green look FAT! Seriously it was great To See Joe and Henry up in the Big Apple!
Thanks to LJZ for leaving Spin Class to come down for Evening Service.
(She doesn’t read this, I am safe)
No real words never need to be said here
Disclaimer – I omitted the name of the person who posted this out of the deepest respect for them and their family. This was posted on Wednesday and yet again it brings me to tears. What occurred 18 years ago still digs deep into the hearts and souls of so many people.
I may have a story about this day but I will never speak it. This day isn’t about me.
It is about those who lost their mothers, their fathers, their wives, their husbands, their partners, their children, their neighbors, their work peers and so many more.
We shall always remember their names and we will also remember those who are still perishing from 9/11 illnesses.
God I hope this kicks ass! And I also hope they speak with a worse accent than I am accessed of having up here.
“I am going to wake up in the morning on the couch…..wearing a kilt.” Name withheld to protect the Fellow Drunken Uber Rider.

Have a good weekend. Be nice to a Stranger.

Call your Mother and Father because they probably worry about you.

Never miss a chance to tell someone you love them.

And hug your babies a little closer.

As one of my cigar buddies always says “These are interesting times we are living in.”

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A Trip To Gerritsen Beach in Brooklyn

Back in February The Professor mentioned possibly field trip to The Tamaqua when it got warm. A few weeks ago when we were enjoying the roof deck in Park Slope Mr. Three First Names reminded us that we should make a trip to The Tamaqua. Since I had no idea what I was in for, I was all in. So we planed the trip this past Sunday.

Folks, I have visited some unbelievable Dive Bars here in New York. Milano’s Bar, Hanks Bar (when it was still open), The Ice House in Red Hook, Franks Lounge in Fort Greene, Farrells, Rudy’s with that Red Pig, and The Trailer Park Bar. All of these places hold a special place in my heart because they offer something that you can’t just buy or install. They are national treasures. Hold of to your hat folks. Here is where you are going to probably swallow your gum….

The Tamaqua could win the Title of the Best Dive Bar in New York.

I know, I know can you believe that I made that ballsy statement on a Tuesday? First off for me to properly describe The Tamaqua is going to be hard/damn near impossible. This place is stuck in a Time Machine. According to the Group it took a serious hit during Hurricane Sandy but yet she still sits there. Seriously as we were sitting there having some afternoon drinks one would not think that you are not in Brooklyn. You would think you are at Harbor Docks in Destin Florida or Tacky Jacks in Orange Beach, AL. For my Memphis folks who are coming up here in November we may have to make a trip there. You won’t believe it either!

The Doors are wide open because they don’t have AC. Remind anyone of Harpo’s?
Aww that is cute. But why is it listing to the right?
Lots of place to sit but they don’t have a kitchen or menu. The serve chips so maybe Maya will come next time. Nope
The put a clothes pin on your tab so it doesn’t blow away!
The Have a Pool Table. Shuffleboard, Dart and even some Poker Machines. God Bless this place
It is even ADA compliant and offers Wheel Chair Parking
Life is good at the Tamaqua

And no Maria, I am not losing my mind and no I don’t need a tetnus shot. Your Fancy NY @ss might not come here but it is good for a laugh. Thanks to Bobcat, Professor, Lady Barrister, Mr. 3 First Names for a fun afternoon.

What is up with the picture of the baby Elvi?

I just like it. It makes me happy and I also know that Memphis is probably going to be in a heat advisory since it is Dead Elvis Week. Did you know that I can also forecast the Memphis weather?

  • Coldest Day of the Year in Memphis – Whatever day they play the Liberty Bowl Game
  • Hottest Day of the Year in Memphis – Around Dead Elvis Week
  • Rainiest Day/Week of the Year in Memphis – Beale Street Musicfest or World Championship BBQ Cooking Contest.

I mean if you know the past, you can predict the future.

I am going to share with you some pictures I snapped this past Sunday from the Murphranks Rooftop. Bobcat & Professor were there along with Rocky and Monkey Head Maya. Sorry folks but No pictures of the Humans – I mean have you ever seen Meg or Bobcat in the same place? Same goes for Matt or the Professor? Come to think of it, I haven’t seen Geranium for the past 24 hours. I bet she is in Seattle again.

Maya prefers to be sitting in a lap getting petted. Don’t we all?
Don’t worry Dad, I will protect the Cheese Cooler
The Jar-Man used to say that the sunsets over beautiful West Memphis Arkansas. I guess we can say it sets over beautiful New Jersey
Wonder what asshole lives in that tall as building? I understand from Mr. 3 First Names that my view of the Empire State Building is about to change.
That doesn’t suck. Oh and I found out that The Bobcat and Professor were married in that church to the left of the row houses.

Tomorrow I take the gloves off and blast expedia for their shitty customer service.

Pictures of the Week – Saturday Edition

One would think that when Geranium is out of town I would be able to turn out a bunch of this worthless dribble. I mean, I consider it a dick move while we are together on the weekend for me to blog and not spend time with her. You may be wondering why at this particular moment I am not doing that but she is still in the rack asleep with the dog. And one of them is snoring like a freight train.

Here are some pictures of the past week that I have had in my iFoam.

My Mermaid Bikini wearing slinger of spirits lets me make bad decisions. That’s why we love her so!
Kept the plants alive while Geranium was away!
I am never going to see him up here in New York.
B Duffel had some strong shoe game going on yesterday. I wasn’t about to take it lying down. It is after all Dead Elvis Week
I don’t know what is more ballsy. Sitting on the steps at Penn Station or wearing sandals instead of a HazMat Suit.
And then you have got this. Notice her hands are died Aqua as well. She got off at (dramatic pause) Times Square

I hope you have a good weekend. We are chilling here today and then finding a rooftop in Park Slope tomorrow.

4 Trips Around the sun living in the Empire State

Last week I got one of these notifications that 4 years ago that it was my last board meeting at HW/AMF. I started to think to myself that time has flown by. It was just yesterday that we were hanging at the South Bluffs pool having our Friday board meetings and the Horners only had 1 kid.

Looking back over the past year it has been a whirlwind with Tons of Travel. In no particular order;

  • St. Louis for Missy & Kristina’s Wedding (September)
  • Northwest Arkansas for Hogs/Bama Football weekend (October)
  • Geranium made 3 trips to Japan, Germany, Spain and France
  • She also has made a bunch of trips to Seattle. Either she really loves the Starbucks coffee and flannel or she has a side piece over there. Oh wait her new momma is domiciled there.
  • Memphis for Christmas
  • Northwest Arkansas for Family Christmas (January)
  • London for a Quickie Weekend (February)
  • Weekend Trip to Cryder Hollow (March)
  • Quickie trip to the Fun Side of the Wall before Geranium headed to Switzerland (April)
  • Geranium headed to the land of Swiss Army knives for a month.
  • Trip to Barcelona over BSMF weekend to see Geranium
  • Trip to Geneva over WCBCC weekend to see Geranium
  • Trip to the Redneck Rivera to hang with the Horner’s and their 2 kids.

We also made our yearly pilgrimage to Per Se for Christmas. We made a trip to Philly for a Christmas party and had some fun times with our friends over the past year too.

Back when I had longer hair and there wasn’t any grey in there either.
Barcelona!
London with this guy!
Got to see the Parade thanks to Zsquared
A little Phil Collins
Selfie at the Bridge
Swiss Alps!
Glad we knocked that one off the list. Not like Oaklawn at all.

It is still the best decision moving up here we ever did.

1 Hour To The Airport Door to Door – Downtown Brooklyn to EWR

When I was taking all of those trips abroad to see Geranium I became well versed in airport travel and flying in and out of Newark International (EWR) airport. I liked flying out of there based on the fact that it is a United hub and they had more options than JFK to Europe. Before we moved to Brooklyn we hardly ever flew out of EWR since LGA was the quicker airport and JFK had the flat $50.00 fee. Uber to EWR from the UES or Brooklyn always cost us about $100.00. That was until we found New Jersey Transit.

The other day one of my peers asked me why I was always flying out of Newark International Airport considering that JFK and LGA were closer. I told him that I actually found that public transportation to EWR is actually quicker and much more reliable than to JFK and a shit ton better than LGA. It also only costs me like roughly $15.75 and I don’t have to worry about traffic or a bad uber driver. Let me explain via pictures that I took on my trip to the Redneck Rivera.

*Editors Note – You can’t be traveling with tons of luggage on MTA or NJT. You will get scolded and its a bitch to go up and down the stairs.

31 Minutes to LGA with ZERO traffic
39 Minutes to JFK with ZERO Traffic and the Public Transportation is slightly better
By far the longest travel by car and Traffic can be a bitch and expensive
Leave out of the Nevins Station via the 2/3 Train to Penn Station
Penn Station jump on a EWR Bound New Jersey Train that runs every 15 minutes for 3 stops to Newark International
Jump off New Jersey Transit and you grab the Air Train to the Terminal
Clear TSA Pre Check and I am sitting here 1 hour from when I boarded the 2/3 train in Brooklyn
Next Thing I know I am on the plane heading out of here!
Well look who I ran into in the Pensacola Airport!

In Memphis the magic saying was “It is 15 Minutes to the airport.” Here it is “It is 1 Hour to the airport.”

Smoked Meats in Glenside PA

After returning from the Redneck Rivera we have had a full weekend schedule pending. The first weekend since our return had us heading over to Philly for a Memphis Style BBQ. Geranium being the world jet setter was in Seattle for work so she decided to fly the red eye straight into Philly and I would take Amtrak over to Philly. Since I already booked our travel I invited LJZ since her husband is enjoying summer school.

Due to some prior commitments the majority of the BBQ Team would not be able to attend so Pepe called in the “B Team” meaning SK and I would be the substitute pit masters. Other than a pork roll incident we managed to put out some good food for the group.

Since we got there so early into Philly I left LJZ to go see her friends and I headed on the regional train to Pepe’s house.
We really should have brought this up to the cooking pad but it got things going for us Saturday Morning.
Now this is a smoker!
We (well not so much me or SK) burned some of this.
SK’s lovely wife made sure that the guests were good and ‘hydrated’ and kept cool with frozen drinks.
Is this a Kids Drink or a Uncle Robo Drink?
Every time I looked up there was another protein to smoke or cook. Thanks to Pepe’s buddy for helping out.
Oh the Shame (She obviously is not from the south) I told LJZ’s friend that I was going to put this picture on my worthless dribble of a blog. I even put it as the featured picture too!
We had a good time and I didn’t do a repeat of 2 years ago in Glenside when someone slipped me a Mickey.

All in all the B Team did a good job and it was a hit. Appreciate Pepe and D3 for letting us stay the night and we will be back.

The 2019 Carl Lipbalm Memorial Caddy Scholarship Winner 1 of 2 – ZF

Do you recall 3 summers ago we hosted The 2016 Caddy Scholarship Winner Special Ed? What about last summer when it was the 2018’s Caddy Scholarship Winner Love Bug? By the way, the 2017 Caddy Scholarship winner elected to forgo her trip to NYC and took the cash equivalent. What that means is that her parents are free to use our condo when we are away as long as they keep the dog alive. So this spring we had 2 High School graduates which can cause a logistical issue considering we only have room for 1 stinky body at a time. Thankfully we told both sets of parents (who happen to be sisters) that it would be first come first served for dates that can fit our schedule. ZF selected this past weekend which unbeknownst to him would also happen to be the hottest weekend.

No need to cry over spilled Gold Bond! Come on and we will adjust the schedule to accommodate time to reapply powder to prevent Swamp Ass. ZF arrived Thursday evening and thankfully Geranium was able to collect him at the airport and bring him in via New York Subway.

Friday Morning I took young ZF with me as I was going to show him around town, make some calls for work and then hand him off to Geranium in the afternoon. We were like Tourist Ninja’s on Friday Morning and hit the following;

  • Wall Street and NYSE
  • Federal Hall
  • The Charging Bull on Broadway (I fucked up and forgot they moved Fearless Girl to the NYSE and it was too hot to go back)
  • Staten Island Ferry and a Trip to see the Bitch in the Harbor (FYI – Friday AM is the best time to do this)
  • 9/11 Footprints
  • 10 Ladder/10 Engine
  • Alexander Hamilton’s Grave at Trinity (The CBT Surprise)
  • Times Square (kill me BTW)
  • Cobert Studio
  • Fancy Lunch at a Midtown East Sushi House
  • Rockefeller Center
  • Fallon’s Marquee
  • Joe’s Pizza
  • St. Patrick Cathedral
  • UES trip to see some of CBT’s customers
  • Grand Central Station

So after that we came home because well let’s be honest. I was dripping wet and even though he wouldn’t admit it, he was miserable too. Thankfully we knocked off a lot on that trip. That evening Geranium took ZF to see “House of Mormon” and I went to get a cigar.

Saturday we changed it up and because it was miserable hot we did the Bus tour called “The Ride.” It was neat but unfortunately the AC in the bus couldn’t keep up but nevertheless we had a good time. That evening we went to see Blue Man Group which we have never seen. It was good and we enjoyed the AC.

Sunday we took it easy and took ZF over to Coney island for a Nathan’s Hot Dog and to see the boardwalk. We didn’t last long and ended up back at the apartment to suck in some AC.

As always, it was a great time to spend time with someone you normally don’t spend time with at Holiday events and it is always fun to see someone experience New York City for the first time. Sure its a pain in the ass in Times Square during the heat but that is what makes this city so much fun. The guys who emcee The Ride were taken back when we told them we were from Brooklyn. Then they figured it out when we said ZF was from Little Rock Arkansas. On to the pictures..

What do you mean I have to pose for pictures. Nobody told me this in my orientation.
Shut up kid and smile with the Bitch in the harbor!
I am guessing I am getting Thumbs up because Grand Central is Air Conditioned!
Or maybe ZF prefers Stephen Colbert in the UWS
Cousin Trumpet you are taking this picture because the girl in the blue jean shorts aren’t you?
Missed this by 30 minutes on Friday heading into the city.
You are tweeting Geranium aren’t you?
I give this props, it is pretty fun!
On The Ride
Disclaimer – They have performances pre set along the route.
I mean they are killing it and it was probably 100 degrees in Columbus Circle on Saturday.
But what is fun is that this is New York and the Tourist on the Bus don’t see it yet.
Seriously nobody has seen it yet.
Thanks guy bathing in the Fountain. Only in New York!
For Blue Man Group
Let’s Take a Selfie
We were in Orchestra, down below is called “Poncho” for obvious reasons
Really another picture?
Who are you tweeting now?
Please, last pic, I am dying in this heat!
We had fun playing with you ZF!

It was fun but it was hot and thankfully ZF was a good sport. We had fun playing with you.

Pictures of the Week from the Redneck Rivera.

So we will finish the week with some final pictures from our week down in the Redneck Rivera. Like I said, we had a blast and we look forward to next years trip. I figure by then maybe Knuckleheads #1 & #2 will be able to fetch Uncle Robo and Uncle RJ some cold pops! Captain can you start teaching the kids how to make Painkillers for next year.

Returning from the day on the beach. Notice the Cigar in my left hand. That was Cigar #22 for the week.
“Mom, we are tired of posing, Uncle Robo can we act a fool?”
“Go Ahead Kids! Fly that Freak Flag!”
Thank God we ordered the Small Drinks!
Happy 4th of July!
Need a bottle of Tito’s and a Dildo? We have found the place for you!
4 Toe Heads having dinner! I miss them!
I also miss this Bushwacker too!
Maya had a good Vacation too!
Hate to tell everyone but Knucklehead #2 took Daddy to school on the tabletop games!

Next week we will return to normal NYC Shenanigans. One should always get out of the city for a couple of days. We had fun with all of these jokers.

You Are Vacationing Where? And With Whom? Part 1 of 2

Those were the two questions a couple of Thursdays ago from my non kosher eating brother from another mother and fellow Tina’s Cubano lunch eating cohorts. Yep the Trumpets were taking the show on the road and heading down to the Gulf Coast of Alabama and Florida. What was puzzling my work cohorts was that we were vacationing with 2 other families and their children…..ages 2 – 8 & a 16 year old. Now It is no secret that we celebrate the fact that our only human child is an invisible one and the other one is 4 legged. We figured that since we have been around the parents a couple of different times and on vacation that it only made sense that we could probably hang with their kids too. Still it was a gamble. No doubt that S(Squared) and D.E. were placing bets if I would come back early and send a case of cigars to my urologist for performing my vasectomy.

We rented a 5 bedroom house so that the 3 sets of adults could have their own room, we put the 16 year old in her own room and the 4 knuckleheads had the playroom. So here is the honest truth about the week. We had a blast! The kids were great. The were well behaved and listened to directions and hopefully didn’t learn all the words that Uncle Trumpet muttered as he drank his “Robo Juice”.

Morning Breakfast. She wasn’t too sure about me on Day 1
We went through a lot of chips that week. Not from usage but because each bag came back with a large amount of sand in the bag.
Corn Hole – The perfect game you can play with a beer in your hand.
Daddy Let me Bury your feet!
Don’t let the Atlanta Family Fool you – Someone is peeing in that ocean right now.
I am certain that someone in this picture of the Memphis family is peeing.
Now since we are on the subject of peeing in the ocean……
Where did we leave the kid? Oh crap we forgot to un-bury her!

More pics and hi-jinx tomorrow.